I've read a lot of the books and it's been one of my hobbies and one of my interests for a very long time.
So that's where I'm coming from. And at the end
I'm going to give you resources that you can go to to learn more about NLP without
having to go to seminars. I'll give you some reputable books
to go to and also I'll tell you some of the good seminar tapes to listen to.
So that's a little bit about me.
So, my goals for the talk. How many here
have heard of NLP? Wow.
Um, I'm
basically doing this talk because there are a lot of people who have heard of NLP
but there are more people who have heard of NLP but have a really
wacky view of exactly what it is. And that's
a lot of that is because the only way to learn about NLP is
by going to a seminar. And people just don't have the money to go to seminars
and when they advertise the seminars they say all this crazy stuff, you know,
the theory of excellence or, you know, hypnosis
and people just don't know what's going on. People think that NLP is all about mind control.
Which it really isn't. Although you can use it for mind control.
Alright, so, my first goal is to give
an introduction to NLP. And this is just an introduction. I'm going to try to
squeeze like a week long seminar into an hour, right?
So I'm going to skip a lot of stuff. I'm going to go really fast through a lot of stuff. There's a lot of information
on these slides. So I would suggest that you go back later, look at the
CD, look online, look at the slides and it will all make sense to you more
later on. So, that's my first goal.
And my second goal is to give you tools for using NLP
to influence. I thought that looking at NLP from an influence
standpoint would be a good thing to do at a hacker convention. Because a lot of you
are into social engineering. But a lot of you want a minute, right?
Alright, so, in order to give you tools
I'm going to give you several specific tools. One of them is gaining rapport.
And I'll talk a lot more about that.
Motivation strategies.
I might do sub-modalities. I might skip through it
because of time restraints. Because I want to get to the good stuff, which is
the Milton model. Trust me, that's the good stuff. That's the hypnosis stuff.
You want to learn that.
So, what is NLP?
Alright, so, what
is NLP? One of the reasons why you're not
going to hear one definition of NLP is because NLP
isn't the study of anything. You can't put it in one sentence.
So, what I basically say, and if you read
the books that I'm going to show you in a little while, they'll say that
NLP is the study of, not the study, the science
of, excuse me, the science of
excellence. And that is really ambiguous. And I think it's ambiguous
for a reason to get people interested in it. It kind of
makes sense, but that's not really what NLP is. So, what I say
is that NLP is first and foremost a philosophy
about how the mind works. And it is also a set of
tools for using that philosophy to do a wide variety
of things. Some of those things include hypnosis,
therapy, change,
all sorts of different things. And
so what I'm going to do in the introduction is give you an introduction to the philosophy
of NLP. And the philosophy of NLP, and NLP stands
for neuro-linguistic programming. And
you can break that down and that will tell you the different parts of the
philosophy. First, there is the neurology. And that includes
our five senses, you know, hearing, seeing, touching,
tasting, five senses.
Linguistic refers to language. And
the way we use language to describe our world.
One of the major theories in philosophy, psychology, and linguistics is
that the way that we interact with the world, the way that we
perceive the world is through language. If we don't have a word for it, it's very hard for us to
perceive. And someone say it's impossible for us to perceive
without a word for it. So, that's one
part. And then programming. Programming
refers to the habitual and often sequential
nature of our thoughts, feelings, and actions. I'm going to go over the
presuppositions of NLP. And I'll go over this a little more in detail.
But basically the idea is that, you know, the brain is a
computer. And the way that the brain works as a computer is
to do the thing that spins the least amount of energy.
So what we do is we get into habits. We have certain processes, certain
sequences we go through to do things. And we do the same
thing every time. We might not realize or recognize what that
sequence is, but we always go through it. NLP is one way of recognizing
what that sequence is, finding out how we use it, and finding out how to change it,
finding out how to make better sequences, and so on and so forth.
So, the history of NLP.
NLP started in the 70s by
two guys, Richard Bandler and John Grinder.
They basically, let's see, John Grinder was
a linguistic, was studying linguistics, and Richard Bandler was studying
psychology. And they decided to go out
and study successful therapists.
There you go. So they studied successful therapists. They wanted to find out
if these therapists, like Virginia Sutter or Fritz Perls at the time,
these therapists were really successful at what they were doing.
And they wanted to find out if there was a way of modeling what they were doing,
trying to figure out linguistically exactly what they were saying, and if there was
something common between all of them. And by finding that out, they were going to create
a model of successful therapy, and then be able to teach it
to other people. So they went in believing that they were going to be able to do this.
So they observed patterns in their behaviors.
And out of this study came the book, The Structure of Magic.
It's actually two books, The Structure of Magic 1 and 2.
And that book describes what is known as the meta-model.
Now, the meta-model is basically the result of all of this.
Basically, you know, they observed therapists and found out what questions they asked.
And the meta-model is a way of asking questions to get
to the real nature of what someone is trying to say. A lot of times
people will be ambiguous about what they're saying, or they'll leave out things
in what they're saying, or they'll say
things like, I am
really fascinated by this person. Now,
if I say I'm really fascinated by someone,
it makes sense to me. My idea of what fascination is, and the process
that fascination is in my mind, is unique to me.
Other people might have different processes for fascination. So if I tell
someone that I'm fascinated with someone else,
then I'm not really telling them what's going on in my head.
And the meta-model is a way of getting to that core.
And it creates a really successful therapeutic context.
Now, after creating,
after The Structure of Magic 1 and 2, Richard Bandler and John
Grinder were contacted by someone who introduced them
to Milton H. Erickson.
Now, Milton Erickson, at the time, was known
as the most successful hypnotherapist in the world.
He was doing stuff that no one could figure out. He could take people
who said that it was impossible for them to hypnotize, and he could
shake their hand and do the handshake induction and have them go under
in, you know, ten minutes. And no one understood what was going on. I mean,
even Erickson said that he didn't quite know exactly what he was doing. He had just
developed throughout the years this system that was working. And so
somebody said, oh, well, okay, so these guys are really good at
modeling therapists. What's going to happen if they model
Milton Erickson?
And what came out of that is the Milton model. And I'm going to
teach you a little bit of the Milton model. Basically
what the Milton model is is a way of indirect hypnosis. It's a way
of indirectly communicating with the subconscious mind
by manipulating the substructure
of linguistics. So when I say
basically it's the reverse of the meta model. Where the meta model is you're trying to find
something more specific, the Milton model seeks to leave things out
and to be ambiguous so that the mind has to fill that stuff in.
By doing that people go inside themselves and they're able to
find resources within themselves and they're able to more communicate with their subconscious
and by doing that become more
suggestible. You don't have to know that, but that's basically what
indirect hypnosis is. And I'll go over the Milton model a little bit later.
So not only did it... they get the Milton
model out of that and this really brought NLP just
light years ahead of what it was. This is what... the Milton model is what took NLP
to what it is today. It also proved
that powerful skills can be duplicated. Because what
they did was they took Milton Erickson's way of
hypnosis, they modeled it, they used it themselves, and then they were able
to successfully teach it to other people.
Also from
the Milton model and from Milton Erickson they got what are known as the presuppositions
of NLP. Presuppositions are basically assumptions and I'll actually go
over that later.
The first one is the major tagline of NLP
is the map is not the territory.
Basically what that means is that
imagine you're looking at
a road map. You lay a road map out of
Las Vegas.
Now that road map is really useful.
You can use it to find your way, you can use it if you get lost, you can even
use it to describe the landscape in
pretty specific terms. But that map is not
Las Vegas. There is an infinite amount
of complexity in the actual thing, but
the map only describes what is useful. The map is not the
territory in NLP means that your mind does the same
thing with reality. The idea is that reality
is really bombarding you with an infinite amount of information, but you're
filtering that information through a map that you create
basically of your world through language
and through the language described through your subjective experience.
So every experience
has a structure. That's basically the same thing. I'm going to go a little quick
through these. There's a lot of them. And if you go to the, you know, get the
books, go do some research online, you'll be able to
get these a little bit more in depth. But every experience has a structure.
Structure is basically the same thing as what I was talking about with
fascination. Every thing that you experience has
a sequence and it's usually in sequential order
and it's usually, you're able to figure it out, you're able to influence it.
So every experience has a structure. The mind and body
are parts of the same system. Anything you do to the body will affect the mind.
Anything you do to the mind will affect the body. The idea is that there's not
this separate mind and body, but that they interact
with each other.
If one person can do something, anyone else can learn it. The idea
is that we are all human beings. We all have basically
the same hardware. So to think that
one person can be really good at, you know, social engineering or can be
really good at programming and you can't is pretty absurd
because we all have the same thing.
We all, however, think differently
but that does not mean that we have different brains. So if we're able to
think like another person, we're able to do the things that the other people are able
to do. People already have all the
resources they need. Just the idea
that you... it's basically like resources. When I talk about resources, I'm talking about
memories, emotions. You know, you think about
some people are really
like some people are really confident in one situation
like some people are in the military and they can go out
and jump out of a plane and feel okay
with it. But when they're up in front of people, they get nervous and feel like they're
going to throw up. So why is that? It's because
they're using their resource for confidence in one
place and not in the other place. The idea is that they have that resource
to be confident but it's somewhere else. And NLP can help someone
to use resources more widely and
yeah, that's one of the applications of
NLP in therapy. You can not
not communicate. Basically the idea is even if you're
not speaking, as long as you're within eyeshot of someone
you are communicating with them.
There is no way to not communicate with someone except not see them
not be anywhere near them. There is a
there is
one statistic, I don't really like statistics all that much, but there's one statistic
that says that 70% of our communication is non-verbal.
So think about that next time you try to have a deep meaningful
conversation online. Think about how much you're missing out
on the real communication. That's where LJ drama
comes in. Anyone know?
My friends are going through LJ drama right now so I keep reminding them about that.
The meaning of your communication is the response you get.
You may have an intention when you communicate with someone, but if you say someone
to someone and they get angry because you said it, you have
your communication has triggered something in them to make them angry.
So it's not about what you intended to do, it's about the response that you're getting.
So you have to change your communication to match the response that you want to get
and the other person.
Underlying every behavior is a positive intention.
This is one of the ideas also
in the therapy of NLP where
a lot of people when they're
depressed and they're
not feeling good, it's not necessarily because their brains are working
poorly, it's because their brains are working really well, but they're not using them
in the correct way.
One of the easy ways of describing this is just to say that a lot of people
ask themselves questions, you know, and when you ask your subconscious
a question, it will answer it. No matter what question
you ask them. So a lot of people, when they're feeling bad, they ask themselves
you know, why do I feel so shitty? And their subconscious
says, well here you go, there's this list of things, here's why you feel shitty.
So NLP teaches people to ask better questions.
To ask questions such as, how can I get out of this? How can
I feel better? People don't think to ask these questions because they don't think that they have the
resources to answer them. But the truth is that you have the resources
to answer these questions. And talking about answering questions, if you guys have any
questions, I have stuff to give away. So I'll just give these away
for good questions. And you know,
there's no such thing as a bad question.
Yes? To get over the fear
of it? Getting rid of fear
and one of the big things of NLP is the phobia cure. It takes 20 minutes
one session. It all deals with the way that you look at things
in your mind. People think that change is a long
painful process. Change can be very quick. It only
takes the ability to believe that you're first able to change.
If you don't believe that you're able to change, then change will take a really long
time until you believe that you're able to change.
There
are, I don't know specifically,
but it's not subliminal. Actually,
I'm going to go over
the books later, but this book, NLP, New Achievement of Technology,
is a very good book for that. It goes over a lot of the NLP techniques and
will actually take you through them.
They're basically thought exercises. They're not really subliminal.
Oh, yes.
Newbies practicing hypnotism.
When I get to, well I'll just
tell you right now, basically hypnosis
is not anything all that special. Basically
when you're driving down the road and you suddenly, you know,
you're suddenly at your destination and you don't remember how you got there, that's
hypnosis. It's not a state that makes someone
do anything you tell them to. Basically,
hypnosis makes people more open to suggestions, but people won't do things that they
that could go completely against their core beliefs.
So, newbies practicing hypnosis,
it can be dangerous, but
not extremely dangerous, because there's always a block in
people's minds. And people, you know,
don't usually hypnotize themselves because they don't want to be hypnotized. They usually hypnotize themselves
because they want to be hypnotized.
People hypnotize themselves
all the time and not realize it, basically. So it's not something that's
you're not going to have someone walking around like a zombie doing everything you ask.
You might see that on stage hypnosis, but basically what that is
is people's natural exhibitionist tendencies.
In stage hypnosis, they usually bring up a huge group of people and then they
take the people out that aren't exhibitionists to begin
with, basically. So to answer your question,
it's dangerous, but it's not dangerous to the point of needing to be illegal
or something like that.
Yes? By the way, if you guys want some books, just come up here.
Yes? Could you come up to the mic?
Alright, alright, what?
Yeah, let's actually, let me
let me, no, what I meant was
yeah, what I meant was for the people who answered the question, sorry about that, you guys.
Yeah, I know, I totally, I screwed up
my communication, I was really ambiguous, sorry you guys. I just, you know, I gave a
command and everyone just followed it, you know?
Geez, alright.
Are you viewing this as temporary or as a permanent solution or will it recall
a past event? Are you viewing this as a
temporary or a permanent solution or if you, after you go through hypnosis and you
gain this new attitude, if you recall a past event, will it trigger it back to
what you used to be? It can trigger it, it's really about
you can do it in one session and it can
come back, however, the exercises are so easy that you can just do them again.
Okay, actually, let me do this, let me just say, we're gonna
yeah, we're gonna hold questions until afterwards.
People are just, yeah.
Yeah, I just,
you know, I have lots of information. Actually, afterwards and also I'll be
around, I'm not going anywhere, so after the talk, please
ask me questions. Alright.
And the last one, let's see,
people are always making the best choices available to them.
That idea is just basically, people are always making
the best choices that they believe they have. If you give someone better choices, they'll
make better choices. And the last one,
if what you're doing isn't working, do something else, do anything else. A lot of
times, if something isn't working, people just do more of what isn't working. The idea is
you just do something else, anything else.
You know, if you're inside and
you feel depressed, go outside. It's really that simple.
And maybe it's not the solution, but it's a step. You gotta just do something else.
Okay, let's get to the good stuff. We're, you know, done with the
theory. Let's get to the application.
Alright, so building physical
rapport. And the way that you, basically when I say
rapport, what I mean is
that you're in, the best way
to describe it is rapport, but you're basically on the same level as someone.
And the secret to liking is that people
like people who are like them. A lot of people
say opposite to track, that's not necessarily true. People like people
who are like them. So the way to build physical rapport
is mirroring and matching. Now, just
to, just as like sort of a disclaimer, and I'll go
over it a little bit later also, when I say mirroring and matching, I don't
mean mimicking. There's a difference.
You know, if somebody has an accent, don't mimic their accent.
Or, I mean, unless that's something you do. People
do that. But be congruent if you're gonna do it.
Okay, so body
position, posture, movement, rhythm. Body position
is really simple. You know, people stand different ways. Some people
let's see if I can get this. So some people stand with their arms
crossed. Some people stand with one foot out. You know,
just, you just kind of match the way they're standing. Again, don't mimic
the way they're standing. You know, if somebody is standing with their foot out, you know, you can
stand with your foot a little bit out. A little body position is actually a little easier to
get a little bit more dangerous and really start mimicking people because a lot of times
when you see people who really know each other and are talking to each other,
you know, they'll be facing each other. Their legs will be crossed in the same way.
Their head will be turned in the same way. Their arms will be in the same way. So
you can go pretty far with this.
Posture. Same thing. You know, if people stand slunched over
you know, upright, same deal. Movement. This is something where you want to be
careful with, with mimicking. If somebody does something like
you know, scratches the back of their neck, you can go ahead and you know, scratch your shoulder.
You know, or if somebody, you can match leg movements with arm movements.
If somebody moves their leg, you can move their arm and you can move your arm and vice versa.
It's basically just having a reciprocal
movement to go along.
Rhythm is good. A lot of people move really, a lot of people will move
really quickly, they'll move slowly, they'll move in
jolts, they'll move in like smooth curves. You just want to
you want to just sort of match, you know, the way they're moving.
Now breathing is more important than
you'd think. There is a
well, breathing is more important than you'd think. I can tell there's some NLP people
in here that are recognizing the commands I'm giving people, right?
Okay. Don't forget
to breathe.
Whatever you do, I'm not suggesting that you forget to breathe, but when you do.
Okay, so breathing, breathing
there's this, you know, without getting into the new age stuff, the idea
is, you know, your breath really is the foundation for all
the rest of the things you do with your body. If you want to relax, the best
way is to breathe deeply for, you know, 20 minutes.
So, if you begin to match someone's
breathing, you can gain rapport very quickly.
And you'll find yourself automatically gaining
rapport a lot of the time, just by matching breathing. And Milton Erickson
does this with hypnosis, by matching someone's breathing.
But he also paces, and we'll get into that later.
Voice. Voice is also a big thing.
Voice tone. So, if somebody, some people have really, really
high voices, really, really annoying voices, you know, you can match that if you're
trying to get any rapport. Although, it's a really annoying high pitch, I suggest that
anyone with a high pitch voice, get over yourself and lower your voice.
Because people will take you much more seriously
if you have a lower voice tone.
Speed. Some people talk really fast, some people talk really
slowly. Be sure to match that, because if
someone is talking really slowly
at you, and in a really low tone, and you talk at them like this,
you know, they're not going to listen to you. Well, they might
listen to you, but you're not going to have rapport.
So, don't mimic. Again, don't mimic.
Don't try to mimic their accents.
Unless you find yourself naturally, some people find themselves naturally doing that.
Matching accents. Sometimes I find myself doing it. It's just something that we do.
It's part of human nature. But if you're going to do it consciously,
be congruent about it. If you're in the
foreign country, matching accents,
do it the whole time you're there, or you're going to get caught.
Now,
building physical rapport is something you've probably all heard about
at least a little bit. Matching verbal
rapport is something that you'll hear about more on the tapes and more in the books.
And this is something that's also very important, something that most people don't
think about. Basically,
like, okay, so you've heard of the representational
systems. You've probably all heard of representational systems, you know, visual,
auditory, kinesthetic.
And just as a side note, some people will tell you, they'll make you fill out that
form, you know, and they'll say, you are a kinesthetic. That is
bullshit. There's no one here that
is a kinesthetic. People
use different representational systems in different contexts, and some people
lead with different representational systems. But that does not mean
that everything you do is kinesthetic. One NLP trainer
said, if you go to an NLP seminar and they tell you you're a visual,
ask for your money back, because they do not know what they're talking about.
So people usually, there's
the representational systems, and people usually
prefer or lead with one or two. So, with that in mind, how do we
use that to match someone verbally? What people might not
realize is that we
we will give off our representational systems
by the way that we talk. And the way to determine this is through
something called predicates. And basically what predicates
are is everything after it, including the verb of a sentence.
So if I say
let's see, so if I say
I went to the park yesterday.
The predicate is went to the park yesterday, everything after the verb.
Now, sometimes predicates can
give away the representational systems. And I'll show you how.
Here's an example. Someone who says, I can see
what you're saying clearly.
Now, somebody who says, I can see what you're saying clearly, as opposed to
I can hear you loudly, or I can get a graphs on what
you're saying, that person is using a visual
representational system. Now,
in NLP, it's taught that communicating
with someone using the same representational system they're using can help to
gain rapport. So if somebody says to you, I can see what you're saying clearly,
say, I see
we're seeing eye to eye, or something like that.
And I'm not going to leave you in the dark, I'll give you some examples.
Some visual phrases, I see
what you mean, we see eye to eye, the future looks bright.
Some auditory phrases, loud and clear, unheard of,
word for word. Kinesthetic phrases, I can graphs that idea.
I got the hang of it, I will get in touch with you.
And you won't see olfactory or gustatory phrases
all that much, but there are people out there who experience their world
through food. I've met some of them, so
be aware that people will
really appreciate you using these sort of phrases. And these are mixed together because
taste and smell are mixed together. So that's basically
building rapport.
So, let's see...
I'm going to skip some modalities, and I'm going to
do this, motivational strategies.
So, once you've
gained rapport, it's a lot easier to influence someone. Just
gaining rapport can, I mean, when somebody says
you know, I just trust this person, I don't know why, but I really
do just trust them, then, you know, what they're saying is
you're in rapport with them, basically.
So, once you have that down, then you can go into influencing things. You can do
influencing stuff before rapport, but it's not going to work as well.
Or it might not even work at all sometimes.
So, what are metaprograms? Metaprograms
are perceptional filters. Like what I talked about before, the map is not the territory.
Metaprograms are basically that map.
And there are a lot of them in NLP. The one I'm going to go over is
motivation strategies. And there are basically
two motivation strategies that people use.
One is toward, where people are motivated
towards their goals and go for what they want.
The other one is away from, motivated to avoid
what you don't want. Now, it's probably better
to have a toward
motivation strategy. However,
most people have an away from motivation strategy. So, to give you
an idea of how this works in real life,
people who are toward motivated will get out of bed and
think about... will get out of bed because they're thinking about
what they're going to do today and how much money they're going to make or
how many new people they're going to meet or how close
they are to that goal. It's really positive. And away from
people get out of bed because they don't want to be late.
They don't want... they're seeing images of
their boss yelling at them. And they're like, oh, my boss is going to yell at me. I don't want
that to happen so I'm going to have to get out of bed. And that's basically how it works.
I'm not going to do a submodality
demonstration, but I'll basically talk about what submodalities are
and how to use them in using with motivation strategies.
If you get some of the books or go online and do some more research,
you can get a lot more into this.
Actually, let me just explain exactly what submodalities are.
Modalities are visual, auditory, kinesthetic.
Submodalities are basically so
in visual it's how big or bright a picture is in your mind
or how close it is to you when you think about it
in your mind.
This comes with the idea that the way we think or perceive about something is directly linked to the way
we feel about it.
When we think about a situation
in our minds, it's big and bright in front of us,
then that means something to us.
You have to look at it as meaning different things to different people, but for the majority
of people, when an image is bigger and brighter in the mind, it's a lot more positive,
you're a lot more motivated to do whatever it is.
For visual representation, the bigger and brighter
an image is in your mind, the more real, close, or attractive it feels.
So,
how do you use this to influence someone?
Pretty simply. Use submodalities and phrases to make the picture they want in their head as big
and bright as possible. And you can bind them with
motivation strategies. So,
I have a couple examples. They're a little bit extreme and kind of cheesy actually,
but it gets the point across.
So, for away from,
I know you want to avoid a potentially big situation
by pissing off the boss. So do I. Let's just get this done before it
gets any bigger. I don't know if you can see things that are underlined here.
It says, you want to avoid a potentially big situation,
so that's a submodality word, thinking about the images that they're going to create
in their head. When people, you can't
think about something without having an image associated with it or a sound associated
with it or something subjective associated with it.
So this taps into that. So, you want to avoid a potentially big
situation before it gets any bigger.
So that's for away from. For toward, I know you want
to make the boss happy and if you do this, I know he'll have a big
bright smile on his face. And the future you want in the company will be closer
than ever. So we have here underlined big bright
and that's a submodality word and then closer than ever.
So brighter, closer, more attractive.
Great. Alright.
So now the fun stuff. The Milton model.
Now, the Milton model is
something that was developed by Milton H. Erickson
well, something that was developed from the study with Milton H. Erickson
and it's used to
pace and lead a person's reality, to distract and utilize
the conscious mind, to access unconscious resources
and it's used for hypnotic induction, therapy and influence.
I'm not going to go over all the details with it.
I'll refer you to a book that goes over it in extreme
detail but I'm going to give you a few little tools for it.
But first let me talk about what
pacing and leading means. Now I've already
taught you basically what pacing is. Basically pacing is
rapport. So once you've gained rapport with someone
you're starting where they're starting.
Pacing like how fast you're
yeah, not pacing
yeah, not pacing by walking back and forth. No, yeah. Pacing in the
terms of you are, you're pacing them like
you were walking next to them, right? And you're walking at the same speed
as they are. And you can actually try this with someone.
A really good pacing and leading experiment and I'll tell you that
after I talk about leading. But pacing is basically
you start where the other person is.
So that's rapport.
Also describing an ongoing experience can also do it.
I'm a little bit short on time so I'm going to go a little bit quicker through this.
Okay, so leading, once you've started where they're starting
you can then begin to make suggestions very slowly.
Usually it's you pace
usually you pace and then you lead
and then you pace again and then you lead some more kind of thing.
I think it's actually pace, pace, pace, lead, pace, pace, lead
pace, lead, lead, lead, lead, lead kind of thing.
Indirect deep structure of sentence.
There we go. Okay, so techniques
for the Milton model. So basically, like I said before, the Milton
model is the reverse of the Meta model. So it's whole purpose
is to make communication vague but in a way
that is leading the mind that you want to influence
in a certain way. So
one of the major
techniques is ambiguity.
And an example of ambiguity would be
certain things might come to mind.
You might say when you think about being relaxed
certain things might come to mind. What does that mean?
That means something personal to the person that you're talking to and that means
that it's going to be them making the images and it's not
you're not telling them think about the last time
you were playing golf. Maybe you don't play golf.
You're telling them certain things might come to mind and it's a lot more effective.
Another one, people can.
People can begin to feel more comfortable when listening to a good speaker.
So who are these people, right?
Are you talking about
the audience? Are you talking about a speaker? Are you talking about people in a foreign country?
You're just saying people. But in order to really
understand that sentence, people will make certain assumptions
about it. And so some people will
assume that it's them and that's the
goal of that one. So another one
is presuppositions, which are assumptions
that have to made in order to make sense
of a sentence. These are really powerful because
your mind has to process
things that are given to it. You can't talk to someone and have them
not process what you've told them. So your brain has
to make sense of these things somehow.
One of the ways of doing this is by saying
something like, will you be more relaxed if you stand up or sit down?
Seems like a pretty innocuous sentence, but what's the
presupposition here? That you'll be relaxed no matter
what.
And Milton uses this and you can use this
in your own way. I'm not here to tell you how to use this stuff,
I'm just showing you how it's done.
So after you've told me what I need to know, you can go
back to what you were doing. So this of course has a
presupposition that you're going to tell me what I need to know.
So those are two examples of presuppositions.
Another one is embedded commands.
And there's a lot of
myths about embedded commands. Some people think that embedded
commands are like, you're just talking like this
and you're just saying something, give me money, and you just keep talking.
You know? Right? That's not an embedded command, although
that's subliminal and
there's been some research in that, that it actually works.
But embedded commands are ways of structuring sentences
with commands in them in a way that the sentence
itself seems very innocuous. So for example,
I don't know if you can listen
carefully to what I have to say.
Now, this is just, it doesn't mean anything.
I don't know, I'm saying something about myself, I don't know if.
But the command here is listen carefully to what I have to say.
Now, one thing about commands that I should point
out is the way to do it most effectively
is to actually change the tone of your voice. We actually have
different voice tones associated with different types of sentences.
So if I say something and my voice goes up,
it's sort of a question, right? If I say something
and my voice doesn't do anything, I'm just dictating it.
But if I say something and my voice goes down, it's a command.
So what you want to do is you want to say it like, I don't know if
you can listen carefully to what I have to say.
It's hard to really pick up, but it's
you just got to think about, you have to separate
it in your mind. You think about, I don't know if you can listen carefully to what I have to say.
And unless somebody knows NLP,
they're not going to pick up on it. And if somebody does know NLP, they'll realize
that you always have a choice to follow a command or not.
It's not like, if I say this command, it's going to happen.
It's just you always have a choice, but some people
are more open to things in different contexts.
When I talk
people are able to listen carefully to what I have to say.
This combines two different things. This combines ambiguity
and embedded commands. Who are the people? And then you can see the command there.
And the last one
is a
combination of a whole different things. It goes, you don't have
to listen carefully to what I have to say, but as you do, you'll begin
to realize how you can use NLP in your own life.
And I hope you take that one to heart.
Alright, so sources and resources.
It's really hard to find good resources on NLP
because there's a lot of people who think NLP is mind control or there's a lot of people who are making
a whole shitload of money off NLP. I mean, 2,000 bucks
for a week seminar. 2,000 bucks for a weekend seminar.
So I have some books that I'll show you. One of them is
Introducing NLP.
This one. It's a really great resource for NLP.
It goes through just the Milton model, modeling,
meta model. It goes through everything in one book.
And you can pick this up Amazon, you know, wherever.
The other one, it's one I was talking about before.
NLP, The New Technology of Achievement.
This book is really good because it's interactive. It actually, it teaches
you NLP and all the different techniques, but it also
takes you through all of the exercises.
And the idea in therapy and NLP is you go first.
If you want to use NLP, use it on yourself first or have someone else
use it on you first. But this is a really good book
even if you're not all that interested in NLP, but you're interested in
self-help and things like that. This is a great book.
And if you're really, really interested
or even just sort of interested
in Milton Erickson
or indirect hypnosis, I would definitely suggest this book.
This is The Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H. Erickson, Volume 1.
There's two volumes. Get Volume 1. If you really like Volume 1, get Volume 2
because it's a lot more complicated. But this
has a couple sections. One section goes over
different articles written by Milton Erickson. Another section analyzes those articles
by Richard Vandler and John Grinder. And then another section just gives you all the techniques.
So, that is my talk.
And I have like three minutes for questions.
And if you have, I can take like one or two questions.
I can take one or two questions, right?
Come up to the mic, yeah.
I was just wondering, would you use this technique
like over a period of time to talk
your boss into giving you a raise or a promotion or something along those lines?
You could if you really wanted to.
I would not suggest that you go out and do that now.
But if you were to do it... He's not here.
Oh, okay.
Oh yeah, well if you want...
These are just the books. These are just my display books here.
If you want a free book, I can give you Writing Great Code.
Who wants to write great code?