start	end	text
143100	148220	I've read a lot of the books and it's been one of my hobbies and one of my interests for a very long time.
148500	151280	So that's where I'm coming from. And at the end
151280	155220	I'm going to give you resources that you can go to to learn more about NLP without
155220	158720	having to go to seminars. I'll give you some reputable books
159240	163240	to go to and also I'll tell you some of the good seminar tapes to listen to.
164080	165640	So that's a little bit about me.
167920	170900	So, my goals for the talk. How many here
170900	174980	have heard of NLP? Wow.
177180	178880	Um, I'm
178880	182320	basically doing this talk because there are a lot of people who have heard of NLP
182850	186660	but there are more people who have heard of NLP but have a really
186660	190620	wacky view of exactly what it is. And that's
191420	194740	a lot of that is because the only way to learn about NLP is
194740	198640	by going to a seminar. And people just don't have the money to go to seminars
198640	202700	and when they advertise the seminars they say all this crazy stuff, you know,
203680	206780	the theory of excellence or, you know, hypnosis
206780	210360	and people just don't know what's going on. People think that NLP is all about mind control.
210360	213660	Which it really isn't. Although you can use it for mind control.
215400	218720	Alright, so, my first goal is to give
218720	222580	an introduction to NLP. And this is just an introduction. I'm going to try to
222580	226560	squeeze like a week long seminar into an hour, right?
226560	230680	So I'm going to skip a lot of stuff. I'm going to go really fast through a lot of stuff. There's a lot of information
230680	234700	on these slides. So I would suggest that you go back later, look at the
234700	238260	CD, look online, look at the slides and it will all make sense to you more
238260	241700	later on. So, that's my first goal.
243260	246660	And my second goal is to give you tools for using NLP
246660	250840	to influence. I thought that looking at NLP from an influence
250840	254700	standpoint would be a good thing to do at a hacker convention. Because a lot of you
254700	258520	are into social engineering. But a lot of you want a minute, right?
260680	262620	Alright, so, in order to give you tools
262620	266640	I'm going to give you several specific tools. One of them is gaining rapport.
267180	269300	And I'll talk a lot more about that.
271100	272420	Motivation strategies.
274580	278720	I might do sub-modalities. I might skip through it
278720	282660	because of time restraints. Because I want to get to the good stuff, which is
282660	286640	the Milton model. Trust me, that's the good stuff. That's the hypnosis stuff.
286640	287840	You want to learn that.
291060	293180	So, what is NLP?
297120	298660	Alright, so, what
298660	302780	is NLP? One of the reasons why you're not
302780	306040	going to hear one definition of NLP is because NLP
306600	310700	isn't the study of anything. You can't put it in one sentence.
310700	314640	So, what I basically say, and if you read
314640	318640	the books that I'm going to show you in a little while, they'll say that
318640	322840	NLP is the study of, not the study, the science
322840	326160	of, excuse me, the science of
326700	330740	excellence. And that is really ambiguous. And I think it's ambiguous
330740	334620	for a reason to get people interested in it. It kind of
334620	338880	makes sense, but that's not really what NLP is. So, what I say
338880	342280	is that NLP is first and foremost a philosophy
342880	346880	about how the mind works. And it is also a set of
346880	350920	tools for using that philosophy to do a wide variety
350920	354440	of things. Some of those things include hypnosis,
354440	357660	therapy, change,
358620	362640	all sorts of different things. And
362640	366460	so what I'm going to do in the introduction is give you an introduction to the philosophy
366460	370700	of NLP. And the philosophy of NLP, and NLP stands
370700	374480	for neuro-linguistic programming. And
374480	378660	you can break that down and that will tell you the different parts of the
378660	382520	philosophy. First, there is the neurology. And that includes
382520	386860	our five senses, you know, hearing, seeing, touching,
386860	388880	tasting, five senses.
390340	394280	Linguistic refers to language. And
394280	397420	the way we use language to describe our world.
398040	402280	One of the major theories in philosophy, psychology, and linguistics is
402280	406120	that the way that we interact with the world, the way that we
406120	410300	perceive the world is through language. If we don't have a word for it, it's very hard for us to
410300	413500	perceive. And someone say it's impossible for us to perceive
414100	418360	without a word for it. So, that's one
418360	422220	part. And then programming. Programming
422220	426000	refers to the habitual and often sequential
426000	430120	nature of our thoughts, feelings, and actions. I'm going to go over the
430120	434460	presuppositions of NLP. And I'll go over this a little more in detail.
434620	438460	But basically the idea is that, you know, the brain is a
438460	442340	computer. And the way that the brain works as a computer is
442340	446940	to do the thing that spins the least amount of energy.
446940	450200	So what we do is we get into habits. We have certain processes, certain
450200	454120	sequences we go through to do things. And we do the same
454120	458280	thing every time. We might not realize or recognize what that
458280	462240	sequence is, but we always go through it. NLP is one way of recognizing
462240	466520	what that sequence is, finding out how we use it, and finding out how to change it,
466520	470480	finding out how to make better sequences, and so on and so forth.
471600	473760	So, the history of NLP.
475200	478380	NLP started in the 70s by
478380	481540	two guys, Richard Bandler and John Grinder.
483380	486080	They basically, let's see, John Grinder was
486340	490300	a linguistic, was studying linguistics, and Richard Bandler was studying
490300	494480	psychology. And they decided to go out
494480	496740	and study successful therapists.
498340	502580	There you go. So they studied successful therapists. They wanted to find out
502580	505580	if these therapists, like Virginia Sutter or Fritz Perls at the time,
506500	509400	these therapists were really successful at what they were doing.
509560	513840	And they wanted to find out if there was a way of modeling what they were doing,
513840	517660	trying to figure out linguistically exactly what they were saying, and if there was
517660	521660	something common between all of them. And by finding that out, they were going to create
521860	525540	a model of successful therapy, and then be able to teach it
525540	530220	to other people. So they went in believing that they were going to be able to do this.
531660	534180	So they observed patterns in their behaviors.
534180	538780	And out of this study came the book, The Structure of Magic.
538780	541820	It's actually two books, The Structure of Magic 1 and 2.
542220	545620	And that book describes what is known as the meta-model.
546020	550400	Now, the meta-model is basically the result of all of this.
550940	554420	Basically, you know, they observed therapists and found out what questions they asked.
554420	558000	And the meta-model is a way of asking questions to get
558000	562340	to the real nature of what someone is trying to say. A lot of times
562340	566680	people will be ambiguous about what they're saying, or they'll leave out things
566680	570220	in what they're saying, or they'll say
570220	574360	things like, I am
574360	578220	really fascinated by this person. Now,
578220	582100	if I say I'm really fascinated by someone,
582100	586160	it makes sense to me. My idea of what fascination is, and the process
586160	589960	that fascination is in my mind, is unique to me.
589960	593840	Other people might have different processes for fascination. So if I tell
593840	596480	someone that I'm fascinated with someone else,
597860	601900	then I'm not really telling them what's going on in my head.
601900	606080	And the meta-model is a way of getting to that core.
606460	610320	And it creates a really successful therapeutic context.
612640	613940	Now, after creating,
613940	617880	after The Structure of Magic 1 and 2, Richard Bandler and John
617880	621900	Grinder were contacted by someone who introduced them
621900	625400	to Milton H. Erickson.
626340	629940	Now, Milton Erickson, at the time, was known
629940	634240	as the most successful hypnotherapist in the world.
634240	637920	He was doing stuff that no one could figure out. He could take people
637920	641600	who said that it was impossible for them to hypnotize, and he could
641600	645700	shake their hand and do the handshake induction and have them go under
645700	649340	in, you know, ten minutes. And no one understood what was going on. I mean,
649340	653700	even Erickson said that he didn't quite know exactly what he was doing. He had just
653700	657640	developed throughout the years this system that was working. And so
658400	661740	somebody said, oh, well, okay, so these guys are really good at
661740	665560	modeling therapists. What's going to happen if they model
666080	667320	Milton Erickson?
669920	673300	And what came out of that is the Milton model. And I'm going to
673300	676800	teach you a little bit of the Milton model. Basically
676800	681380	what the Milton model is is a way of indirect hypnosis. It's a way
681380	684980	of indirectly communicating with the subconscious mind
684980	688540	by manipulating the substructure
689290	691460	of linguistics. So when I say
693300	697160	basically it's the reverse of the meta model. Where the meta model is you're trying to find
697160	701120	something more specific, the Milton model seeks to leave things out
701120	704820	and to be ambiguous so that the mind has to fill that stuff in.
704820	709000	By doing that people go inside themselves and they're able to
709000	713220	find resources within themselves and they're able to more communicate with their subconscious
713220	714920	and by doing that become more
717180	721160	suggestible. You don't have to know that, but that's basically what
721160	724620	indirect hypnosis is. And I'll go over the Milton model a little bit later.
726080	729120	So not only did it... they get the Milton
729120	732720	model out of that and this really brought NLP just
732720	737160	light years ahead of what it was. This is what... the Milton model is what took NLP
737160	741340	to what it is today. It also proved
741340	745100	that powerful skills can be duplicated. Because what
745100	748940	they did was they took Milton Erickson's way of
748940	753100	hypnosis, they modeled it, they used it themselves, and then they were able
753100	755960	to successfully teach it to other people.
760240	761680	Also from
761680	766380	the Milton model and from Milton Erickson they got what are known as the presuppositions
766380	770180	of NLP. Presuppositions are basically assumptions and I'll actually go
770180	771780	over that later.
776560	780720	The first one is the major tagline of NLP
780720	784860	is the map is not the territory.
785740	789220	Basically what that means is that
789220	793120	imagine you're looking at
793840	797420	a road map. You lay a road map out of
800240	801680	Las Vegas.
802320	805540	Now that road map is really useful.
805660	809400	You can use it to find your way, you can use it if you get lost, you can even
809400	812920	use it to describe the landscape in
812920	817220	pretty specific terms. But that map is not
817220	821100	Las Vegas. There is an infinite amount
821100	825160	of complexity in the actual thing, but
825160	829120	the map only describes what is useful. The map is not the
829120	833180	territory in NLP means that your mind does the same
833180	837100	thing with reality. The idea is that reality
837100	841280	is really bombarding you with an infinite amount of information, but you're
841280	845000	filtering that information through a map that you create
846060	849020	basically of your world through language
849660	852880	and through the language described through your subjective experience.
855520	856920	So every experience
856920	860860	has a structure. That's basically the same thing. I'm going to go a little quick
860860	865100	through these. There's a lot of them. And if you go to the, you know, get the
865100	869060	books, go do some research online, you'll be able to
869840	872800	get these a little bit more in depth. But every experience has a structure.
872800	876100	Structure is basically the same thing as what I was talking about with
877620	880860	fascination. Every thing that you experience has
881140	884600	a sequence and it's usually in sequential order
884600	888860	and it's usually, you're able to figure it out, you're able to influence it.
888860	892860	So every experience has a structure. The mind and body
892860	896940	are parts of the same system. Anything you do to the body will affect the mind.
896940	900600	Anything you do to the mind will affect the body. The idea is that there's not
900600	904620	this separate mind and body, but that they interact
904620	905760	with each other.
908880	912680	If one person can do something, anyone else can learn it. The idea
912680	916580	is that we are all human beings. We all have basically
916580	920520	the same hardware. So to think that
920520	924520	one person can be really good at, you know, social engineering or can be
924520	928240	really good at programming and you can't is pretty absurd
928240	931860	because we all have the same thing.
932120	935340	We all, however, think differently
936040	940180	but that does not mean that we have different brains. So if we're able to
940180	944240	think like another person, we're able to do the things that the other people are able
944240	948200	to do. People already have all the
948200	952260	resources they need. Just the idea
952260	956100	that you... it's basically like resources. When I talk about resources, I'm talking about
956100	960080	memories, emotions. You know, you think about
961420	963560	some people are really
965200	968120	like some people are really confident in one situation
968120	971920	like some people are in the military and they can go out
971920	976100	and jump out of a plane and feel okay
976100	980080	with it. But when they're up in front of people, they get nervous and feel like they're
980080	983700	going to throw up. So why is that? It's because
983700	987660	they're using their resource for confidence in one
987660	991120	place and not in the other place. The idea is that they have that resource
991440	995760	to be confident but it's somewhere else. And NLP can help someone
995760	999260	to use resources more widely and
999260	1002640	yeah, that's one of the applications of
1003620	1007520	NLP in therapy. You can not
1007520	1011780	not communicate. Basically the idea is even if you're
1011780	1015560	not speaking, as long as you're within eyeshot of someone
1015560	1019080	you are communicating with them.
1019680	1023820	There is no way to not communicate with someone except not see them
1023820	1031520	not be anywhere near them. There is a
1031520	1032040	there is
1032980	1036000	one statistic, I don't really like statistics all that much, but there's one statistic
1036000	1040160	that says that 70% of our communication is non-verbal.
1040160	1044240	So think about that next time you try to have a deep meaningful
1044240	1048020	conversation online. Think about how much you're missing out
1048020	1052180	on the real communication. That's where LJ drama
1052180	1054520	comes in. Anyone know?
1054960	1060060	My friends are going through LJ drama right now so I keep reminding them about that.
1061800	1064540	The meaning of your communication is the response you get.
1064540	1068080	You may have an intention when you communicate with someone, but if you say someone
1068080	1071840	to someone and they get angry because you said it, you have
1071840	1076220	your communication has triggered something in them to make them angry.
1076220	1079880	So it's not about what you intended to do, it's about the response that you're getting.
1079880	1084280	So you have to change your communication to match the response that you want to get
1084280	1085720	and the other person.
1089660	1092500	Underlying every behavior is a positive intention.
1093560	1096020	This is one of the ideas also
1096020	1099680	in the therapy of NLP where
1101340	1104240	a lot of people when they're
1104980	1107580	depressed and they're
1107580	1111760	not feeling good, it's not necessarily because their brains are working
1111760	1116140	poorly, it's because their brains are working really well, but they're not using them
1116140	1117460	in the correct way.
1120060	1123620	One of the easy ways of describing this is just to say that a lot of people
1123620	1127920	ask themselves questions, you know, and when you ask your subconscious
1128200	1131700	a question, it will answer it. No matter what question
1131700	1135620	you ask them. So a lot of people, when they're feeling bad, they ask themselves
1135620	1139600	you know, why do I feel so shitty? And their subconscious
1139600	1143240	says, well here you go, there's this list of things, here's why you feel shitty.
1144420	1147640	So NLP teaches people to ask better questions.
1147660	1151740	To ask questions such as, how can I get out of this? How can
1151740	1155600	I feel better? People don't think to ask these questions because they don't think that they have the
1155600	1159760	resources to answer them. But the truth is that you have the resources
1159760	1163500	to answer these questions. And talking about answering questions, if you guys have any
1163500	1167660	questions, I have stuff to give away. So I'll just give these away
1167660	1171660	for good questions. And you know,
1171660	1173300	there's no such thing as a bad question.
1179180	1190810	Yes? To get over the fear
1190810	1205620	of it? Getting rid of fear
1205620	1209820	and one of the big things of NLP is the phobia cure. It takes 20 minutes
1209820	1213620	one session. It all deals with the way that you look at things
1213620	1217980	in your mind. People think that change is a long
1217980	1221520	painful process. Change can be very quick. It only
1221520	1225820	takes the ability to believe that you're first able to change.
1225820	1229740	If you don't believe that you're able to change, then change will take a really long
1229740	1232720	time until you believe that you're able to change.
1238330	1238810	There
1241730	1244670	are, I don't know specifically,
1246530	1248650	but it's not subliminal. Actually,
1251150	1252630	I'm going to go over
1252630	1256310	the books later, but this book, NLP, New Achievement of Technology,
1256310	1260070	is a very good book for that. It goes over a lot of the NLP techniques and
1260070	1263570	will actually take you through them.
1263570	1268110	They're basically thought exercises. They're not really subliminal.
1274580	1276800	Oh, yes.
1281410	1284150	Newbies practicing hypnotism.
1285150	1288490	When I get to, well I'll just
1288490	1291230	tell you right now, basically hypnosis
1291230	1296310	is not anything all that special. Basically
1296310	1300650	when you're driving down the road and you suddenly, you know,
1300650	1304330	you're suddenly at your destination and you don't remember how you got there, that's
1304330	1308250	hypnosis. It's not a state that makes someone
1308250	1311970	do anything you tell them to. Basically,
1311970	1316430	hypnosis makes people more open to suggestions, but people won't do things that they
1316430	1321270	that could go completely against their core beliefs.
1321750	1324460	So, newbies practicing hypnosis,
1324460	1328440	it can be dangerous, but
1328440	1332200	not extremely dangerous, because there's always a block in
1332200	1336620	people's minds. And people, you know,
1336620	1340400	don't usually hypnotize themselves because they don't want to be hypnotized. They usually hypnotize themselves
1340400	1343300	because they want to be hypnotized.
1347080	1348520	People hypnotize themselves
1348520	1352500	all the time and not realize it, basically. So it's not something that's
1352500	1356920	you're not going to have someone walking around like a zombie doing everything you ask.
1357000	1360520	You might see that on stage hypnosis, but basically what that is
1360520	1363380	is people's natural exhibitionist tendencies.
1364080	1368500	In stage hypnosis, they usually bring up a huge group of people and then they
1368500	1372700	take the people out that aren't exhibitionists to begin
1372700	1376040	with, basically. So to answer your question,
1376980	1380300	it's dangerous, but it's not dangerous to the point of needing to be illegal
1380300	1381640	or something like that.
1384340	1387340	Yes? By the way, if you guys want some books, just come up here.
1389180	1392520	Yes? Could you come up to the mic?
1410320	1411520	Alright, alright, what?
1413280	1415600	Yeah, let's actually, let me
1415960	1419280	let me, no, what I meant was
1420060	1424240	yeah, what I meant was for the people who answered the question, sorry about that, you guys.
1426540	1428220	Yeah, I know, I totally, I screwed up
1428220	1432480	my communication, I was really ambiguous, sorry you guys. I just, you know, I gave a
1432480	1436600	command and everyone just followed it, you know?
1436600	1444020	Geez, alright.
1444020	1447040	Are you viewing this as temporary or as a permanent solution or will it recall
1447040	1451340	a past event? Are you viewing this as a
1451420	1454520	temporary or a permanent solution or if you, after you go through hypnosis and you
1454520	1458300	gain this new attitude, if you recall a past event, will it trigger it back to
1458300	1462400	what you used to be? It can trigger it, it's really about
1462920	1466680	you can do it in one session and it can
1466680	1470660	come back, however, the exercises are so easy that you can just do them again.
1471740	1474100	Okay, actually, let me do this, let me just say, we're gonna
1474660	1477680	yeah, we're gonna hold questions until afterwards.
1478600	1480360	People are just, yeah.
1483120	1484620	Yeah, I just,
1484620	1487920	you know, I have lots of information. Actually, afterwards and also I'll be
1487920	1492000	around, I'm not going anywhere, so after the talk, please
1492000	1494740	ask me questions. Alright.
1497600	1500480	And the last one, let's see,
1500480	1504820	people are always making the best choices available to them.
1504920	1508440	That idea is just basically, people are always making
1508440	1512400	the best choices that they believe they have. If you give someone better choices, they'll
1512400	1516660	make better choices. And the last one,
1516660	1520460	if what you're doing isn't working, do something else, do anything else. A lot of
1520460	1524460	times, if something isn't working, people just do more of what isn't working. The idea is
1524460	1528740	you just do something else, anything else.
1528740	1532260	You know, if you're inside and
1532260	1536700	you feel depressed, go outside. It's really that simple.
1536700	1541380	And maybe it's not the solution, but it's a step. You gotta just do something else.
1541480	1544460	Okay, let's get to the good stuff. We're, you know, done with the
1545760	1548120	theory. Let's get to the application.
1549260	1552200	Alright, so building physical
1552660	1556660	rapport. And the way that you, basically when I say
1556660	1559700	rapport, what I mean is
1561900	1564700	that you're in, the best way
1564700	1569360	to describe it is rapport, but you're basically on the same level as someone.
1570400	1572920	And the secret to liking is that people
1572920	1576720	like people who are like them. A lot of people
1576720	1580640	say opposite to track, that's not necessarily true. People like people
1580640	1584160	who are like them. So the way to build physical rapport
1584490	1588700	is mirroring and matching. Now, just
1588700	1592700	to, just as like sort of a disclaimer, and I'll go
1592700	1596840	over it a little bit later also, when I say mirroring and matching, I don't
1596840	1600180	mean mimicking. There's a difference.
1601360	1604400	You know, if somebody has an accent, don't mimic their accent.
1605720	1608620	Or, I mean, unless that's something you do. People
1608620	1612820	do that. But be congruent if you're gonna do it.
1614620	1616680	Okay, so body
1616680	1620680	position, posture, movement, rhythm. Body position
1620680	1624380	is really simple. You know, people stand different ways. Some people
1624380	1628520	let's see if I can get this. So some people stand with their arms
1628520	1632660	crossed. Some people stand with one foot out. You know,
1632660	1636840	just, you just kind of match the way they're standing. Again, don't mimic
1636840	1640540	the way they're standing. You know, if somebody is standing with their foot out, you know, you can
1640540	1644420	stand with your foot a little bit out. A little body position is actually a little easier to
1644420	1648680	get a little bit more dangerous and really start mimicking people because a lot of times
1648680	1652800	when you see people who really know each other and are talking to each other,
1652800	1656380	you know, they'll be facing each other. Their legs will be crossed in the same way.
1656420	1660260	Their head will be turned in the same way. Their arms will be in the same way. So
1660260	1663220	you can go pretty far with this.
1664560	1668200	Posture. Same thing. You know, if people stand slunched over
1668200	1672680	you know, upright, same deal. Movement. This is something where you want to be
1672680	1676660	careful with, with mimicking. If somebody does something like
1676660	1681240	you know, scratches the back of their neck, you can go ahead and you know, scratch your shoulder.
1681640	1684600	You know, or if somebody, you can match leg movements with arm movements.
1684600	1688740	If somebody moves their leg, you can move their arm and you can move your arm and vice versa.
1688800	1692380	It's basically just having a reciprocal
1692380	1694200	movement to go along.
1696440	1700540	Rhythm is good. A lot of people move really, a lot of people will move
1700540	1704520	really quickly, they'll move slowly, they'll move in
1704520	1708600	jolts, they'll move in like smooth curves. You just want to
1708600	1712440	you want to just sort of match, you know, the way they're moving.
1712640	1716540	Now breathing is more important than
1716540	1720440	you'd think. There is a
1720440	1724620	well, breathing is more important than you'd think. I can tell there's some NLP people
1724620	1728400	in here that are recognizing the commands I'm giving people, right?
1728400	1732460	Okay. Don't forget
1732460	1733400	to breathe.
1736100	1739800	Whatever you do, I'm not suggesting that you forget to breathe, but when you do.
1742080	1744060	Okay, so breathing, breathing
1744060	1748500	there's this, you know, without getting into the new age stuff, the idea
1748500	1752400	is, you know, your breath really is the foundation for all
1752400	1756280	the rest of the things you do with your body. If you want to relax, the best
1756280	1759200	way is to breathe deeply for, you know, 20 minutes.
1759200	1763360	So, if you begin to match someone's
1763360	1766900	breathing, you can gain rapport very quickly.
1766900	1771020	And you'll find yourself automatically gaining
1771020	1775160	rapport a lot of the time, just by matching breathing. And Milton Erickson
1775160	1778820	does this with hypnosis, by matching someone's breathing.
1778820	1781580	But he also paces, and we'll get into that later.
1783000	1787240	Voice. Voice is also a big thing.
1787240	1791000	Voice tone. So, if somebody, some people have really, really
1791000	1795040	high voices, really, really annoying voices, you know, you can match that if you're
1795040	1799020	trying to get any rapport. Although, it's a really annoying high pitch, I suggest that
1799020	1803240	anyone with a high pitch voice, get over yourself and lower your voice.
1803460	1807140	Because people will take you much more seriously
1807140	1810560	if you have a lower voice tone.
1811400	1815100	Speed. Some people talk really fast, some people talk really
1815100	1818720	slowly. Be sure to match that, because if
1820660	1822880	someone is talking really slowly
1822880	1826360	at you, and in a really low tone, and you talk at them like this,
1826360	1831100	you know, they're not going to listen to you. Well, they might
1831100	1833640	listen to you, but you're not going to have rapport.
1835040	1839100	So, don't mimic. Again, don't mimic.
1839100	1842680	Don't try to mimic their accents.
1842680	1846400	Unless you find yourself naturally, some people find themselves naturally doing that.
1846400	1850860	Matching accents. Sometimes I find myself doing it. It's just something that we do.
1850860	1854580	It's part of human nature. But if you're going to do it consciously,
1854580	1858580	be congruent about it. If you're in the
1858580	1863100	foreign country, matching accents,
1863100	1865780	do it the whole time you're there, or you're going to get caught.
1869800	1870760	Now,
1870760	1874340	building physical rapport is something you've probably all heard about
1876040	1878820	at least a little bit. Matching verbal
1878820	1883260	rapport is something that you'll hear about more on the tapes and more in the books.
1883260	1886480	And this is something that's also very important, something that most people don't
1886480	1891260	think about. Basically,
1892520	1894900	like, okay, so you've heard of the representational
1894900	1898820	systems. You've probably all heard of representational systems, you know, visual,
1898820	1900440	auditory, kinesthetic.
1902380	1906700	And just as a side note, some people will tell you, they'll make you fill out that
1906700	1910840	form, you know, and they'll say, you are a kinesthetic. That is
1910840	1914640	bullshit. There's no one here that
1914640	1917240	is a kinesthetic. People
1918420	1922520	use different representational systems in different contexts, and some people
1922520	1926600	lead with different representational systems. But that does not mean
1926600	1930520	that everything you do is kinesthetic. One NLP trainer
1930520	1934540	said, if you go to an NLP seminar and they tell you you're a visual,
1934540	1938380	ask for your money back, because they do not know what they're talking about.
1939640	1942740	So people usually, there's
1943620	1946380	the representational systems, and people usually
1946380	1950480	prefer or lead with one or two. So, with that in mind, how do we
1950480	1954680	use that to match someone verbally? What people might not
1954680	1957540	realize is that we
1959700	1962700	we will give off our representational systems
1962700	1966620	by the way that we talk. And the way to determine this is through
1966620	1970760	something called predicates. And basically what predicates
1970760	1974340	are is everything after it, including the verb of a sentence.
1974580	1977480	So if I say
1979940	1981460	let's see, so if I say
1981460	1985880	I went to the park yesterday.
1985880	1989840	The predicate is went to the park yesterday, everything after the verb.
1990260	1993500	Now, sometimes predicates can
1993500	1997800	give away the representational systems. And I'll show you how.
1997800	2001500	Here's an example. Someone who says, I can see
2001500	2003720	what you're saying clearly.
2005260	2009420	Now, somebody who says, I can see what you're saying clearly, as opposed to
2009420	2013460	I can hear you loudly, or I can get a graphs on what
2013460	2016900	you're saying, that person is using a visual
2017420	2021100	representational system. Now,
2021100	2025080	in NLP, it's taught that communicating
2025080	2029320	with someone using the same representational system they're using can help to
2029320	2033880	gain rapport. So if somebody says to you, I can see what you're saying clearly,
2033880	2037140	say, I see
2037140	2040960	we're seeing eye to eye, or something like that.
2041840	2045200	And I'm not going to leave you in the dark, I'll give you some examples.
2047280	2049160	Some visual phrases, I see
2049160	2052960	what you mean, we see eye to eye, the future looks bright.
2054140	2057300	Some auditory phrases, loud and clear, unheard of,
2057300	2061320	word for word. Kinesthetic phrases, I can graphs that idea.
2061780	2065300	I got the hang of it, I will get in touch with you.
2065300	2069460	And you won't see olfactory or gustatory phrases
2069460	2073180	all that much, but there are people out there who experience their world
2073180	2077200	through food. I've met some of them, so
2078180	2080180	be aware that people will
2081040	2085260	really appreciate you using these sort of phrases. And these are mixed together because
2085260	2089560	taste and smell are mixed together. So that's basically
2089560	2090840	building rapport.
2090840	2094720	So, let's see...
2094720	2098760	I'm going to skip some modalities, and I'm going to
2098760	2102660	do this, motivational strategies.
2103760	2106900	So, once you've
2106900	2110820	gained rapport, it's a lot easier to influence someone. Just
2110820	2114880	gaining rapport can, I mean, when somebody says
2114880	2118780	you know, I just trust this person, I don't know why, but I really
2118780	2122480	do just trust them, then, you know, what they're saying is
2122480	2125020	you're in rapport with them, basically.
2126300	2130700	So, once you have that down, then you can go into influencing things. You can do
2130700	2135200	influencing stuff before rapport, but it's not going to work as well.
2135320	2137620	Or it might not even work at all sometimes.
2139700	2142840	So, what are metaprograms? Metaprograms
2142840	2147340	are perceptional filters. Like what I talked about before, the map is not the territory.
2147980	2150400	Metaprograms are basically that map.
2150740	2154700	And there are a lot of them in NLP. The one I'm going to go over is
2155160	2159020	motivation strategies. And there are basically
2159020	2162160	two motivation strategies that people use.
2163200	2166600	One is toward, where people are motivated
2167160	2170340	towards their goals and go for what they want.
2170940	2175140	The other one is away from, motivated to avoid
2175140	2179360	what you don't want. Now, it's probably better
2181580	2183380	to have a toward
2184880	2187040	motivation strategy. However,
2187040	2191140	most people have an away from motivation strategy. So, to give you
2191140	2195640	an idea of how this works in real life,
2195640	2199020	people who are toward motivated will get out of bed and
2199020	2202520	think about... will get out of bed because they're thinking about
2202520	2206560	what they're going to do today and how much money they're going to make or
2206560	2210500	how many new people they're going to meet or how close
2210500	2214320	they are to that goal. It's really positive. And away from
2214320	2218540	people get out of bed because they don't want to be late.
2219740	2222600	They don't want... they're seeing images of
2222600	2226520	their boss yelling at them. And they're like, oh, my boss is going to yell at me. I don't want
2226520	2230740	that to happen so I'm going to have to get out of bed. And that's basically how it works.
2230740	2234320	I'm not going to do a submodality
2234320	2238700	demonstration, but I'll basically talk about what submodalities are
2238700	2243140	and how to use them in using with motivation strategies.
2243140	2246700	If you get some of the books or go online and do some more research,
2246700	2249640	you can get a lot more into this.
2251900	2254500	Actually, let me just explain exactly what submodalities are.
2254500	2258840	Modalities are visual, auditory, kinesthetic.
2260280	2262420	Submodalities are basically so
2262420	2266920	in visual it's how big or bright a picture is in your mind
2266920	2270500	or how close it is to you when you think about it
2270500	2271900	in your mind.
2274380	2278620	This comes with the idea that the way we think or perceive about something is directly linked to the way
2278620	2280060	we feel about it.
2282980	2285800	When we think about a situation
2285800	2290220	in our minds, it's big and bright in front of us,
2290220	2293300	then that means something to us.
2294380	2297980	You have to look at it as meaning different things to different people, but for the majority
2297980	2302160	of people, when an image is bigger and brighter in the mind, it's a lot more positive,
2303120	2306100	you're a lot more motivated to do whatever it is.
2307500	2309800	For visual representation, the bigger and brighter
2309800	2314560	an image is in your mind, the more real, close, or attractive it feels.
2317360	2318480	So,
2319180	2321720	how do you use this to influence someone?
2322240	2326640	Pretty simply. Use submodalities and phrases to make the picture they want in their head as big
2326640	2330560	and bright as possible. And you can bind them with
2330560	2334120	motivation strategies. So,
2334120	2338760	I have a couple examples. They're a little bit extreme and kind of cheesy actually,
2339400	2341540	but it gets the point across.
2341540	2344720	So, for away from,
2344720	2349080	I know you want to avoid a potentially big situation
2349080	2353500	by pissing off the boss. So do I. Let's just get this done before it
2353500	2357760	gets any bigger. I don't know if you can see things that are underlined here.
2357760	2362440	It says, you want to avoid a potentially big situation,
2362440	2365720	so that's a submodality word, thinking about the images that they're going to create
2365720	2369680	in their head. When people, you can't
2369680	2373640	think about something without having an image associated with it or a sound associated
2373640	2377560	with it or something subjective associated with it.
2377560	2381540	So this taps into that. So, you want to avoid a potentially big
2381540	2384900	situation before it gets any bigger.
2386140	2389740	So that's for away from. For toward, I know you want
2389740	2393500	to make the boss happy and if you do this, I know he'll have a big
2393500	2397800	bright smile on his face. And the future you want in the company will be closer
2397800	2401980	than ever. So we have here underlined big bright
2401980	2405880	and that's a submodality word and then closer than ever.
2405880	2409360	So brighter, closer, more attractive.
2410320	2413580	Great. Alright.
2414460	2417820	So now the fun stuff. The Milton model.
2418340	2422160	Now, the Milton model is
2422160	2424220	something that was developed by Milton H. Erickson
2424220	2427760	well, something that was developed from the study with Milton H. Erickson
2429560	2431740	and it's used to
2431740	2436140	pace and lead a person's reality, to distract and utilize
2436140	2439660	the conscious mind, to access unconscious resources
2440220	2444140	and it's used for hypnotic induction, therapy and influence.
2444140	2447840	I'm not going to go over all the details with it.
2448020	2452100	I'll refer you to a book that goes over it in extreme
2452100	2457100	detail but I'm going to give you a few little tools for it.
2458140	2460100	But first let me talk about what
2460100	2463980	pacing and leading means. Now I've already
2463980	2468140	taught you basically what pacing is. Basically pacing is
2468140	2472260	rapport. So once you've gained rapport with someone
2472260	2475560	you're starting where they're starting.
2481430	2484070	Pacing like how fast you're
2484070	2485650	yeah, not pacing
2487690	2491970	yeah, not pacing by walking back and forth. No, yeah. Pacing in the
2491970	2495890	terms of you are, you're pacing them like
2495890	2499930	you were walking next to them, right? And you're walking at the same speed
2499930	2503270	as they are. And you can actually try this with someone.
2503770	2507730	A really good pacing and leading experiment and I'll tell you that
2507730	2511670	after I talk about leading. But pacing is basically
2511670	2514830	you start where the other person is.
2516850	2518550	So that's rapport.
2520010	2523790	Also describing an ongoing experience can also do it.
2523790	2527410	I'm a little bit short on time so I'm going to go a little bit quicker through this.
2527470	2531110	Okay, so leading, once you've started where they're starting
2531110	2535450	you can then begin to make suggestions very slowly.
2535550	2538090	Usually it's you pace
2538090	2542070	usually you pace and then you lead
2542070	2546650	and then you pace again and then you lead some more kind of thing.
2546650	2550490	I think it's actually pace, pace, pace, lead, pace, pace, lead
2550490	2553930	pace, lead, lead, lead, lead, lead kind of thing.
2556210	2558290	Indirect deep structure of sentence.
2558290	2565490	There we go. Okay, so techniques
2565490	2569210	for the Milton model. So basically, like I said before, the Milton
2569210	2573310	model is the reverse of the Meta model. So it's whole purpose
2573310	2577370	is to make communication vague but in a way
2577370	2580930	that is leading the mind that you want to influence
2580930	2584550	in a certain way. So
2587110	2589090	one of the major
2589090	2591370	techniques is ambiguity.
2593530	2596850	And an example of ambiguity would be
2596850	2600630	certain things might come to mind.
2600970	2605190	You might say when you think about being relaxed
2605190	2608830	certain things might come to mind. What does that mean?
2608830	2612850	That means something personal to the person that you're talking to and that means
2612850	2616110	that it's going to be them making the images and it's not
2617210	2621050	you're not telling them think about the last time
2621050	2625290	you were playing golf. Maybe you don't play golf.
2625290	2629630	You're telling them certain things might come to mind and it's a lot more effective.
2630590	2633410	Another one, people can.
2633410	2638050	People can begin to feel more comfortable when listening to a good speaker.
2638390	2641310	So who are these people, right?
2641670	2643170	Are you talking about
2645150	2649710	the audience? Are you talking about a speaker? Are you talking about people in a foreign country?
2649710	2653370	You're just saying people. But in order to really
2653370	2657270	understand that sentence, people will make certain assumptions
2657270	2661390	about it. And so some people will
2661390	2663410	assume that it's them and that's the
2664990	2668870	goal of that one. So another one
2668870	2672950	is presuppositions, which are assumptions
2672950	2676950	that have to made in order to make sense
2676950	2679950	of a sentence. These are really powerful because
2679950	2683770	your mind has to process
2683770	2688010	things that are given to it. You can't talk to someone and have them
2688010	2692030	not process what you've told them. So your brain has
2692030	2694010	to make sense of these things somehow.
2697970	2700050	One of the ways of doing this is by saying
2700050	2704430	something like, will you be more relaxed if you stand up or sit down?
2704670	2708050	Seems like a pretty innocuous sentence, but what's the
2708050	2711810	presupposition here? That you'll be relaxed no matter
2711810	2712890	what.
2716030	2718830	And Milton uses this and you can use this
2719410	2723970	in your own way. I'm not here to tell you how to use this stuff,
2723970	2726870	I'm just showing you how it's done.
2727670	2731990	So after you've told me what I need to know, you can go
2731990	2735650	back to what you were doing. So this of course has a
2736430	2739250	presupposition that you're going to tell me what I need to know.
2739750	2742210	So those are two examples of presuppositions.
2743150	2745650	Another one is embedded commands.
2749630	2751590	And there's a lot of
2751590	2755310	myths about embedded commands. Some people think that embedded
2755310	2759370	commands are like, you're just talking like this
2759370	2763010	and you're just saying something, give me money, and you just keep talking.
2763010	2766250	You know? Right? That's not an embedded command, although
2768410	2770490	that's subliminal and
2770810	2774790	there's been some research in that, that it actually works.
2775030	2778690	But embedded commands are ways of structuring sentences
2778690	2782990	with commands in them in a way that the sentence
2782990	2787010	itself seems very innocuous. So for example,
2788150	2790670	I don't know if you can listen
2790670	2793110	carefully to what I have to say.
2793670	2798450	Now, this is just, it doesn't mean anything.
2798450	2801830	I don't know, I'm saying something about myself, I don't know if.
2801830	2807150	But the command here is listen carefully to what I have to say.
2807710	2810770	Now, one thing about commands that I should point
2810770	2814010	out is the way to do it most effectively
2814590	2818790	is to actually change the tone of your voice. We actually have
2818790	2822510	different voice tones associated with different types of sentences.
2822510	2826710	So if I say something and my voice goes up,
2826710	2830050	it's sort of a question, right? If I say something
2830650	2834870	and my voice doesn't do anything, I'm just dictating it.
2834870	2839370	But if I say something and my voice goes down, it's a command.
2839890	2842950	So what you want to do is you want to say it like, I don't know if
2842950	2845570	you can listen carefully to what I have to say.
2846450	2848770	It's hard to really pick up, but it's
2850770	2853670	you just got to think about, you have to separate
2853670	2857810	it in your mind. You think about, I don't know if you can listen carefully to what I have to say.
2858490	2861870	And unless somebody knows NLP,
2861870	2865890	they're not going to pick up on it. And if somebody does know NLP, they'll realize
2865890	2870150	that you always have a choice to follow a command or not.
2870390	2873710	It's not like, if I say this command, it's going to happen.
2873710	2877130	It's just you always have a choice, but some people
2878690	2881390	are more open to things in different contexts.
2885650	2887850	When I talk
2888470	2892010	people are able to listen carefully to what I have to say.
2892190	2895750	This combines two different things. This combines ambiguity
2895750	2900610	and embedded commands. Who are the people? And then you can see the command there.
2901250	2902670	And the last one
2902670	2906970	is a
2906970	2910870	combination of a whole different things. It goes, you don't have
2910870	2914870	to listen carefully to what I have to say, but as you do, you'll begin
2914870	2920530	to realize how you can use NLP in your own life.
2920530	2925370	And I hope you take that one to heart.
2925370	2926830	Alright, so sources and resources.
2926830	2930330	It's really hard to find good resources on NLP
2930330	2934230	because there's a lot of people who think NLP is mind control or there's a lot of people who are making
2934610	2938390	a whole shitload of money off NLP. I mean, 2,000 bucks
2938390	2942330	for a week seminar. 2,000 bucks for a weekend seminar.
2943130	2946170	So I have some books that I'll show you. One of them is
2946170	2947470	Introducing NLP.
2950330	2953990	This one. It's a really great resource for NLP.
2953990	2957950	It goes through just the Milton model, modeling,
2957950	2961790	meta model. It goes through everything in one book.
2961790	2964790	And you can pick this up Amazon, you know, wherever.
2966170	2970450	The other one, it's one I was talking about before.
2970450	2972730	NLP, The New Technology of Achievement.
2973110	2977930	This book is really good because it's interactive. It actually, it teaches
2977930	2981890	you NLP and all the different techniques, but it also
2981890	2985410	takes you through all of the exercises.
2985410	2989350	And the idea in therapy and NLP is you go first.
2989570	2993330	If you want to use NLP, use it on yourself first or have someone else
2993330	2996670	use it on you first. But this is a really good book
2997250	3001170	even if you're not all that interested in NLP, but you're interested in
3002170	3004910	self-help and things like that. This is a great book.
3007030	3009450	And if you're really, really interested
3010070	3011690	or even just sort of interested
3011690	3016010	in Milton Erickson
3016010	3019970	or indirect hypnosis, I would definitely suggest this book.
3019970	3023710	This is The Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H. Erickson, Volume 1.
3023710	3027990	There's two volumes. Get Volume 1. If you really like Volume 1, get Volume 2
3027990	3030970	because it's a lot more complicated. But this
3031690	3034990	has a couple sections. One section goes over
3036010	3039890	different articles written by Milton Erickson. Another section analyzes those articles
3039890	3044250	by Richard Vandler and John Grinder. And then another section just gives you all the techniques.
3045110	3047690	So, that is my talk.
3047690	3050270	And I have like three minutes for questions.
3056170	3059350	And if you have, I can take like one or two questions.
3060210	3062130	I can take one or two questions, right?
3063230	3064710	Come up to the mic, yeah.
3067070	3070370	I was just wondering, would you use this technique
3070370	3074190	like over a period of time to talk
3074190	3078170	your boss into giving you a raise or a promotion or something along those lines?
3078190	3081190	You could if you really wanted to.
3082850	3086450	I would not suggest that you go out and do that now.
3086730	3090150	But if you were to do it... He's not here.
3090230	3091150	Oh, okay.
3096240	3098400	Oh yeah, well if you want...
3098400	3101440	These are just the books. These are just my display books here.
3101440	3105000	If you want a free book, I can give you Writing Great Code.
3106620	3108420	Who wants to write great code?