[02:23.100 --> 02:28.220] I've read a lot of the books and it's been one of my hobbies and one of my interests for a very long time. [02:28.500 --> 02:31.280] So that's where I'm coming from. And at the end [02:31.280 --> 02:35.220] I'm going to give you resources that you can go to to learn more about NLP without [02:35.220 --> 02:38.720] having to go to seminars. I'll give you some reputable books [02:39.240 --> 02:43.240] to go to and also I'll tell you some of the good seminar tapes to listen to. [02:44.080 --> 02:45.640] So that's a little bit about me. [02:47.920 --> 02:50.900] So, my goals for the talk. How many here [02:50.900 --> 02:54.980] have heard of NLP? Wow. [02:57.180 --> 02:58.880] Um, I'm [02:58.880 --> 03:02.320] basically doing this talk because there are a lot of people who have heard of NLP [03:02.850 --> 03:06.660] but there are more people who have heard of NLP but have a really [03:06.660 --> 03:10.620] wacky view of exactly what it is. And that's [03:11.420 --> 03:14.740] a lot of that is because the only way to learn about NLP is [03:14.740 --> 03:18.640] by going to a seminar. And people just don't have the money to go to seminars [03:18.640 --> 03:22.700] and when they advertise the seminars they say all this crazy stuff, you know, [03:23.680 --> 03:26.780] the theory of excellence or, you know, hypnosis [03:26.780 --> 03:30.360] and people just don't know what's going on. People think that NLP is all about mind control. [03:30.360 --> 03:33.660] Which it really isn't. Although you can use it for mind control. [03:35.400 --> 03:38.720] Alright, so, my first goal is to give [03:38.720 --> 03:42.580] an introduction to NLP. And this is just an introduction. I'm going to try to [03:42.580 --> 03:46.560] squeeze like a week long seminar into an hour, right? [03:46.560 --> 03:50.680] So I'm going to skip a lot of stuff. I'm going to go really fast through a lot of stuff. There's a lot of information [03:50.680 --> 03:54.700] on these slides. So I would suggest that you go back later, look at the [03:54.700 --> 03:58.260] CD, look online, look at the slides and it will all make sense to you more [03:58.260 --> 04:01.700] later on. So, that's my first goal. [04:03.260 --> 04:06.660] And my second goal is to give you tools for using NLP [04:06.660 --> 04:10.840] to influence. I thought that looking at NLP from an influence [04:10.840 --> 04:14.700] standpoint would be a good thing to do at a hacker convention. Because a lot of you [04:14.700 --> 04:18.520] are into social engineering. But a lot of you want a minute, right? [04:20.680 --> 04:22.620] Alright, so, in order to give you tools [04:22.620 --> 04:26.640] I'm going to give you several specific tools. One of them is gaining rapport. [04:27.180 --> 04:29.300] And I'll talk a lot more about that. [04:31.100 --> 04:32.420] Motivation strategies. [04:34.580 --> 04:38.720] I might do sub-modalities. I might skip through it [04:38.720 --> 04:42.660] because of time restraints. Because I want to get to the good stuff, which is [04:42.660 --> 04:46.640] the Milton model. Trust me, that's the good stuff. That's the hypnosis stuff. [04:46.640 --> 04:47.840] You want to learn that. [04:51.060 --> 04:53.180] So, what is NLP? [04:57.120 --> 04:58.660] Alright, so, what [04:58.660 --> 05:02.780] is NLP? One of the reasons why you're not [05:02.780 --> 05:06.040] going to hear one definition of NLP is because NLP [05:06.600 --> 05:10.700] isn't the study of anything. You can't put it in one sentence. [05:10.700 --> 05:14.640] So, what I basically say, and if you read [05:14.640 --> 05:18.640] the books that I'm going to show you in a little while, they'll say that [05:18.640 --> 05:22.840] NLP is the study of, not the study, the science [05:22.840 --> 05:26.160] of, excuse me, the science of [05:26.700 --> 05:30.740] excellence. And that is really ambiguous. And I think it's ambiguous [05:30.740 --> 05:34.620] for a reason to get people interested in it. It kind of [05:34.620 --> 05:38.880] makes sense, but that's not really what NLP is. So, what I say [05:38.880 --> 05:42.280] is that NLP is first and foremost a philosophy [05:42.880 --> 05:46.880] about how the mind works. And it is also a set of [05:46.880 --> 05:50.920] tools for using that philosophy to do a wide variety [05:50.920 --> 05:54.440] of things. Some of those things include hypnosis, [05:54.440 --> 05:57.660] therapy, change, [05:58.620 --> 06:02.640] all sorts of different things. And [06:02.640 --> 06:06.460] so what I'm going to do in the introduction is give you an introduction to the philosophy [06:06.460 --> 06:10.700] of NLP. And the philosophy of NLP, and NLP stands [06:10.700 --> 06:14.480] for neuro-linguistic programming. And [06:14.480 --> 06:18.660] you can break that down and that will tell you the different parts of the [06:18.660 --> 06:22.520] philosophy. First, there is the neurology. And that includes [06:22.520 --> 06:26.860] our five senses, you know, hearing, seeing, touching, [06:26.860 --> 06:28.880] tasting, five senses. [06:30.340 --> 06:34.280] Linguistic refers to language. And [06:34.280 --> 06:37.420] the way we use language to describe our world. [06:38.040 --> 06:42.280] One of the major theories in philosophy, psychology, and linguistics is [06:42.280 --> 06:46.120] that the way that we interact with the world, the way that we [06:46.120 --> 06:50.300] perceive the world is through language. If we don't have a word for it, it's very hard for us to [06:50.300 --> 06:53.500] perceive. And someone say it's impossible for us to perceive [06:54.100 --> 06:58.360] without a word for it. So, that's one [06:58.360 --> 07:02.220] part. And then programming. Programming [07:02.220 --> 07:06.000] refers to the habitual and often sequential [07:06.000 --> 07:10.120] nature of our thoughts, feelings, and actions. I'm going to go over the [07:10.120 --> 07:14.460] presuppositions of NLP. And I'll go over this a little more in detail. [07:14.620 --> 07:18.460] But basically the idea is that, you know, the brain is a [07:18.460 --> 07:22.340] computer. And the way that the brain works as a computer is [07:22.340 --> 07:26.940] to do the thing that spins the least amount of energy. [07:26.940 --> 07:30.200] So what we do is we get into habits. We have certain processes, certain [07:30.200 --> 07:34.120] sequences we go through to do things. And we do the same [07:34.120 --> 07:38.280] thing every time. We might not realize or recognize what that [07:38.280 --> 07:42.240] sequence is, but we always go through it. NLP is one way of recognizing [07:42.240 --> 07:46.520] what that sequence is, finding out how we use it, and finding out how to change it, [07:46.520 --> 07:50.480] finding out how to make better sequences, and so on and so forth. [07:51.600 --> 07:53.760] So, the history of NLP. [07:55.200 --> 07:58.380] NLP started in the 70s by [07:58.380 --> 08:01.540] two guys, Richard Bandler and John Grinder. [08:03.380 --> 08:06.080] They basically, let's see, John Grinder was [08:06.340 --> 08:10.300] a linguistic, was studying linguistics, and Richard Bandler was studying [08:10.300 --> 08:14.480] psychology. And they decided to go out [08:14.480 --> 08:16.740] and study successful therapists. [08:18.340 --> 08:22.580] There you go. So they studied successful therapists. They wanted to find out [08:22.580 --> 08:25.580] if these therapists, like Virginia Sutter or Fritz Perls at the time, [08:26.500 --> 08:29.400] these therapists were really successful at what they were doing. [08:29.560 --> 08:33.840] And they wanted to find out if there was a way of modeling what they were doing, [08:33.840 --> 08:37.660] trying to figure out linguistically exactly what they were saying, and if there was [08:37.660 --> 08:41.660] something common between all of them. And by finding that out, they were going to create [08:41.860 --> 08:45.540] a model of successful therapy, and then be able to teach it [08:45.540 --> 08:50.220] to other people. So they went in believing that they were going to be able to do this. [08:51.660 --> 08:54.180] So they observed patterns in their behaviors. [08:54.180 --> 08:58.780] And out of this study came the book, The Structure of Magic. [08:58.780 --> 09:01.820] It's actually two books, The Structure of Magic 1 and 2. [09:02.220 --> 09:05.620] And that book describes what is known as the meta-model. [09:06.020 --> 09:10.400] Now, the meta-model is basically the result of all of this. [09:10.940 --> 09:14.420] Basically, you know, they observed therapists and found out what questions they asked. [09:14.420 --> 09:18.000] And the meta-model is a way of asking questions to get [09:18.000 --> 09:22.340] to the real nature of what someone is trying to say. A lot of times [09:22.340 --> 09:26.680] people will be ambiguous about what they're saying, or they'll leave out things [09:26.680 --> 09:30.220] in what they're saying, or they'll say [09:30.220 --> 09:34.360] things like, I am [09:34.360 --> 09:38.220] really fascinated by this person. Now, [09:38.220 --> 09:42.100] if I say I'm really fascinated by someone, [09:42.100 --> 09:46.160] it makes sense to me. My idea of what fascination is, and the process [09:46.160 --> 09:49.960] that fascination is in my mind, is unique to me. [09:49.960 --> 09:53.840] Other people might have different processes for fascination. So if I tell [09:53.840 --> 09:56.480] someone that I'm fascinated with someone else, [09:57.860 --> 10:01.900] then I'm not really telling them what's going on in my head. [10:01.900 --> 10:06.080] And the meta-model is a way of getting to that core. [10:06.460 --> 10:10.320] And it creates a really successful therapeutic context. [10:12.640 --> 10:13.940] Now, after creating, [10:13.940 --> 10:17.880] after The Structure of Magic 1 and 2, Richard Bandler and John [10:17.880 --> 10:21.900] Grinder were contacted by someone who introduced them [10:21.900 --> 10:25.400] to Milton H. Erickson. [10:26.340 --> 10:29.940] Now, Milton Erickson, at the time, was known [10:29.940 --> 10:34.240] as the most successful hypnotherapist in the world. [10:34.240 --> 10:37.920] He was doing stuff that no one could figure out. He could take people [10:37.920 --> 10:41.600] who said that it was impossible for them to hypnotize, and he could [10:41.600 --> 10:45.700] shake their hand and do the handshake induction and have them go under [10:45.700 --> 10:49.340] in, you know, ten minutes. And no one understood what was going on. I mean, [10:49.340 --> 10:53.700] even Erickson said that he didn't quite know exactly what he was doing. He had just [10:53.700 --> 10:57.640] developed throughout the years this system that was working. And so [10:58.400 --> 11:01.740] somebody said, oh, well, okay, so these guys are really good at [11:01.740 --> 11:05.560] modeling therapists. What's going to happen if they model [11:06.080 --> 11:07.320] Milton Erickson? [11:09.920 --> 11:13.300] And what came out of that is the Milton model. And I'm going to [11:13.300 --> 11:16.800] teach you a little bit of the Milton model. Basically [11:16.800 --> 11:21.380] what the Milton model is is a way of indirect hypnosis. It's a way [11:21.380 --> 11:24.980] of indirectly communicating with the subconscious mind [11:24.980 --> 11:28.540] by manipulating the substructure [11:29.290 --> 11:31.460] of linguistics. So when I say [11:33.300 --> 11:37.160] basically it's the reverse of the meta model. Where the meta model is you're trying to find [11:37.160 --> 11:41.120] something more specific, the Milton model seeks to leave things out [11:41.120 --> 11:44.820] and to be ambiguous so that the mind has to fill that stuff in. [11:44.820 --> 11:49.000] By doing that people go inside themselves and they're able to [11:49.000 --> 11:53.220] find resources within themselves and they're able to more communicate with their subconscious [11:53.220 --> 11:54.920] and by doing that become more [11:57.180 --> 12:01.160] suggestible. You don't have to know that, but that's basically what [12:01.160 --> 12:04.620] indirect hypnosis is. And I'll go over the Milton model a little bit later. [12:06.080 --> 12:09.120] So not only did it... they get the Milton [12:09.120 --> 12:12.720] model out of that and this really brought NLP just [12:12.720 --> 12:17.160] light years ahead of what it was. This is what... the Milton model is what took NLP [12:17.160 --> 12:21.340] to what it is today. It also proved [12:21.340 --> 12:25.100] that powerful skills can be duplicated. Because what [12:25.100 --> 12:28.940] they did was they took Milton Erickson's way of [12:28.940 --> 12:33.100] hypnosis, they modeled it, they used it themselves, and then they were able [12:33.100 --> 12:35.960] to successfully teach it to other people. [12:40.240 --> 12:41.680] Also from [12:41.680 --> 12:46.380] the Milton model and from Milton Erickson they got what are known as the presuppositions [12:46.380 --> 12:50.180] of NLP. Presuppositions are basically assumptions and I'll actually go [12:50.180 --> 12:51.780] over that later. [12:56.560 --> 13:00.720] The first one is the major tagline of NLP [13:00.720 --> 13:04.860] is the map is not the territory. [13:05.740 --> 13:09.220] Basically what that means is that [13:09.220 --> 13:13.120] imagine you're looking at [13:13.840 --> 13:17.420] a road map. You lay a road map out of [13:20.240 --> 13:21.680] Las Vegas. [13:22.320 --> 13:25.540] Now that road map is really useful. [13:25.660 --> 13:29.400] You can use it to find your way, you can use it if you get lost, you can even [13:29.400 --> 13:32.920] use it to describe the landscape in [13:32.920 --> 13:37.220] pretty specific terms. But that map is not [13:37.220 --> 13:41.100] Las Vegas. There is an infinite amount [13:41.100 --> 13:45.160] of complexity in the actual thing, but [13:45.160 --> 13:49.120] the map only describes what is useful. The map is not the [13:49.120 --> 13:53.180] territory in NLP means that your mind does the same [13:53.180 --> 13:57.100] thing with reality. The idea is that reality [13:57.100 --> 14:01.280] is really bombarding you with an infinite amount of information, but you're [14:01.280 --> 14:05.000] filtering that information through a map that you create [14:06.060 --> 14:09.020] basically of your world through language [14:09.660 --> 14:12.880] and through the language described through your subjective experience. [14:15.520 --> 14:16.920] So every experience [14:16.920 --> 14:20.860] has a structure. That's basically the same thing. I'm going to go a little quick [14:20.860 --> 14:25.100] through these. There's a lot of them. And if you go to the, you know, get the [14:25.100 --> 14:29.060] books, go do some research online, you'll be able to [14:29.840 --> 14:32.800] get these a little bit more in depth. But every experience has a structure. [14:32.800 --> 14:36.100] Structure is basically the same thing as what I was talking about with [14:37.620 --> 14:40.860] fascination. Every thing that you experience has [14:41.140 --> 14:44.600] a sequence and it's usually in sequential order [14:44.600 --> 14:48.860] and it's usually, you're able to figure it out, you're able to influence it. [14:48.860 --> 14:52.860] So every experience has a structure. The mind and body [14:52.860 --> 14:56.940] are parts of the same system. Anything you do to the body will affect the mind. [14:56.940 --> 15:00.600] Anything you do to the mind will affect the body. The idea is that there's not [15:00.600 --> 15:04.620] this separate mind and body, but that they interact [15:04.620 --> 15:05.760] with each other. [15:08.880 --> 15:12.680] If one person can do something, anyone else can learn it. The idea [15:12.680 --> 15:16.580] is that we are all human beings. We all have basically [15:16.580 --> 15:20.520] the same hardware. So to think that [15:20.520 --> 15:24.520] one person can be really good at, you know, social engineering or can be [15:24.520 --> 15:28.240] really good at programming and you can't is pretty absurd [15:28.240 --> 15:31.860] because we all have the same thing. [15:32.120 --> 15:35.340] We all, however, think differently [15:36.040 --> 15:40.180] but that does not mean that we have different brains. So if we're able to [15:40.180 --> 15:44.240] think like another person, we're able to do the things that the other people are able [15:44.240 --> 15:48.200] to do. People already have all the [15:48.200 --> 15:52.260] resources they need. Just the idea [15:52.260 --> 15:56.100] that you... it's basically like resources. When I talk about resources, I'm talking about [15:56.100 --> 16:00.080] memories, emotions. You know, you think about [16:01.420 --> 16:03.560] some people are really [16:05.200 --> 16:08.120] like some people are really confident in one situation [16:08.120 --> 16:11.920] like some people are in the military and they can go out [16:11.920 --> 16:16.100] and jump out of a plane and feel okay [16:16.100 --> 16:20.080] with it. But when they're up in front of people, they get nervous and feel like they're [16:20.080 --> 16:23.700] going to throw up. So why is that? It's because [16:23.700 --> 16:27.660] they're using their resource for confidence in one [16:27.660 --> 16:31.120] place and not in the other place. The idea is that they have that resource [16:31.440 --> 16:35.760] to be confident but it's somewhere else. And NLP can help someone [16:35.760 --> 16:39.260] to use resources more widely and [16:39.260 --> 16:42.640] yeah, that's one of the applications of [16:43.620 --> 16:47.520] NLP in therapy. You can not [16:47.520 --> 16:51.780] not communicate. Basically the idea is even if you're [16:51.780 --> 16:55.560] not speaking, as long as you're within eyeshot of someone [16:55.560 --> 16:59.080] you are communicating with them. [16:59.680 --> 17:03.820] There is no way to not communicate with someone except not see them [17:03.820 --> 17:11.520] not be anywhere near them. There is a [17:11.520 --> 17:12.040] there is [17:12.980 --> 17:16.000] one statistic, I don't really like statistics all that much, but there's one statistic [17:16.000 --> 17:20.160] that says that 70% of our communication is non-verbal. [17:20.160 --> 17:24.240] So think about that next time you try to have a deep meaningful [17:24.240 --> 17:28.020] conversation online. Think about how much you're missing out [17:28.020 --> 17:32.180] on the real communication. That's where LJ drama [17:32.180 --> 17:34.520] comes in. Anyone know? [17:34.960 --> 17:40.060] My friends are going through LJ drama right now so I keep reminding them about that. [17:41.800 --> 17:44.540] The meaning of your communication is the response you get. [17:44.540 --> 17:48.080] You may have an intention when you communicate with someone, but if you say someone [17:48.080 --> 17:51.840] to someone and they get angry because you said it, you have [17:51.840 --> 17:56.220] your communication has triggered something in them to make them angry. [17:56.220 --> 17:59.880] So it's not about what you intended to do, it's about the response that you're getting. [17:59.880 --> 18:04.280] So you have to change your communication to match the response that you want to get [18:04.280 --> 18:05.720] and the other person. [18:09.660 --> 18:12.500] Underlying every behavior is a positive intention. [18:13.560 --> 18:16.020] This is one of the ideas also [18:16.020 --> 18:19.680] in the therapy of NLP where [18:21.340 --> 18:24.240] a lot of people when they're [18:24.980 --> 18:27.580] depressed and they're [18:27.580 --> 18:31.760] not feeling good, it's not necessarily because their brains are working [18:31.760 --> 18:36.140] poorly, it's because their brains are working really well, but they're not using them [18:36.140 --> 18:37.460] in the correct way. [18:40.060 --> 18:43.620] One of the easy ways of describing this is just to say that a lot of people [18:43.620 --> 18:47.920] ask themselves questions, you know, and when you ask your subconscious [18:48.200 --> 18:51.700] a question, it will answer it. No matter what question [18:51.700 --> 18:55.620] you ask them. So a lot of people, when they're feeling bad, they ask themselves [18:55.620 --> 18:59.600] you know, why do I feel so shitty? And their subconscious [18:59.600 --> 19:03.240] says, well here you go, there's this list of things, here's why you feel shitty. [19:04.420 --> 19:07.640] So NLP teaches people to ask better questions. [19:07.660 --> 19:11.740] To ask questions such as, how can I get out of this? How can [19:11.740 --> 19:15.600] I feel better? People don't think to ask these questions because they don't think that they have the [19:15.600 --> 19:19.760] resources to answer them. But the truth is that you have the resources [19:19.760 --> 19:23.500] to answer these questions. And talking about answering questions, if you guys have any [19:23.500 --> 19:27.660] questions, I have stuff to give away. So I'll just give these away [19:27.660 --> 19:31.660] for good questions. And you know, [19:31.660 --> 19:33.300] there's no such thing as a bad question. [19:39.180 --> 19:50.810] Yes? To get over the fear [19:50.810 --> 20:05.620] of it? Getting rid of fear [20:05.620 --> 20:09.820] and one of the big things of NLP is the phobia cure. It takes 20 minutes [20:09.820 --> 20:13.620] one session. It all deals with the way that you look at things [20:13.620 --> 20:17.980] in your mind. People think that change is a long [20:17.980 --> 20:21.520] painful process. Change can be very quick. It only [20:21.520 --> 20:25.820] takes the ability to believe that you're first able to change. [20:25.820 --> 20:29.740] If you don't believe that you're able to change, then change will take a really long [20:29.740 --> 20:32.720] time until you believe that you're able to change. [20:38.330 --> 20:38.810] There [20:41.730 --> 20:44.670] are, I don't know specifically, [20:46.530 --> 20:48.650] but it's not subliminal. Actually, [20:51.150 --> 20:52.630] I'm going to go over [20:52.630 --> 20:56.310] the books later, but this book, NLP, New Achievement of Technology, [20:56.310 --> 21:00.070] is a very good book for that. It goes over a lot of the NLP techniques and [21:00.070 --> 21:03.570] will actually take you through them. [21:03.570 --> 21:08.110] They're basically thought exercises. They're not really subliminal. [21:14.580 --> 21:16.800] Oh, yes. [21:21.410 --> 21:24.150] Newbies practicing hypnotism. [21:25.150 --> 21:28.490] When I get to, well I'll just [21:28.490 --> 21:31.230] tell you right now, basically hypnosis [21:31.230 --> 21:36.310] is not anything all that special. Basically [21:36.310 --> 21:40.650] when you're driving down the road and you suddenly, you know, [21:40.650 --> 21:44.330] you're suddenly at your destination and you don't remember how you got there, that's [21:44.330 --> 21:48.250] hypnosis. It's not a state that makes someone [21:48.250 --> 21:51.970] do anything you tell them to. Basically, [21:51.970 --> 21:56.430] hypnosis makes people more open to suggestions, but people won't do things that they [21:56.430 --> 22:01.270] that could go completely against their core beliefs. [22:01.750 --> 22:04.460] So, newbies practicing hypnosis, [22:04.460 --> 22:08.440] it can be dangerous, but [22:08.440 --> 22:12.200] not extremely dangerous, because there's always a block in [22:12.200 --> 22:16.620] people's minds. And people, you know, [22:16.620 --> 22:20.400] don't usually hypnotize themselves because they don't want to be hypnotized. They usually hypnotize themselves [22:20.400 --> 22:23.300] because they want to be hypnotized. [22:27.080 --> 22:28.520] People hypnotize themselves [22:28.520 --> 22:32.500] all the time and not realize it, basically. So it's not something that's [22:32.500 --> 22:36.920] you're not going to have someone walking around like a zombie doing everything you ask. [22:37.000 --> 22:40.520] You might see that on stage hypnosis, but basically what that is [22:40.520 --> 22:43.380] is people's natural exhibitionist tendencies. [22:44.080 --> 22:48.500] In stage hypnosis, they usually bring up a huge group of people and then they [22:48.500 --> 22:52.700] take the people out that aren't exhibitionists to begin [22:52.700 --> 22:56.040] with, basically. So to answer your question, [22:56.980 --> 23:00.300] it's dangerous, but it's not dangerous to the point of needing to be illegal [23:00.300 --> 23:01.640] or something like that. [23:04.340 --> 23:07.340] Yes? By the way, if you guys want some books, just come up here. [23:09.180 --> 23:12.520] Yes? Could you come up to the mic? [23:30.320 --> 23:31.520] Alright, alright, what? [23:33.280 --> 23:35.600] Yeah, let's actually, let me [23:35.960 --> 23:39.280] let me, no, what I meant was [23:40.060 --> 23:44.240] yeah, what I meant was for the people who answered the question, sorry about that, you guys. [23:46.540 --> 23:48.220] Yeah, I know, I totally, I screwed up [23:48.220 --> 23:52.480] my communication, I was really ambiguous, sorry you guys. I just, you know, I gave a [23:52.480 --> 23:56.600] command and everyone just followed it, you know? [23:56.600 --> 24:04.020] Geez, alright. [24:04.020 --> 24:07.040] Are you viewing this as temporary or as a permanent solution or will it recall [24:07.040 --> 24:11.340] a past event? Are you viewing this as a [24:11.420 --> 24:14.520] temporary or a permanent solution or if you, after you go through hypnosis and you [24:14.520 --> 24:18.300] gain this new attitude, if you recall a past event, will it trigger it back to [24:18.300 --> 24:22.400] what you used to be? It can trigger it, it's really about [24:22.920 --> 24:26.680] you can do it in one session and it can [24:26.680 --> 24:30.660] come back, however, the exercises are so easy that you can just do them again. [24:31.740 --> 24:34.100] Okay, actually, let me do this, let me just say, we're gonna [24:34.660 --> 24:37.680] yeah, we're gonna hold questions until afterwards. [24:38.600 --> 24:40.360] People are just, yeah. [24:43.120 --> 24:44.620] Yeah, I just, [24:44.620 --> 24:47.920] you know, I have lots of information. Actually, afterwards and also I'll be [24:47.920 --> 24:52.000] around, I'm not going anywhere, so after the talk, please [24:52.000 --> 24:54.740] ask me questions. Alright. [24:57.600 --> 25:00.480] And the last one, let's see, [25:00.480 --> 25:04.820] people are always making the best choices available to them. [25:04.920 --> 25:08.440] That idea is just basically, people are always making [25:08.440 --> 25:12.400] the best choices that they believe they have. If you give someone better choices, they'll [25:12.400 --> 25:16.660] make better choices. And the last one, [25:16.660 --> 25:20.460] if what you're doing isn't working, do something else, do anything else. A lot of [25:20.460 --> 25:24.460] times, if something isn't working, people just do more of what isn't working. The idea is [25:24.460 --> 25:28.740] you just do something else, anything else. [25:28.740 --> 25:32.260] You know, if you're inside and [25:32.260 --> 25:36.700] you feel depressed, go outside. It's really that simple. [25:36.700 --> 25:41.380] And maybe it's not the solution, but it's a step. You gotta just do something else. [25:41.480 --> 25:44.460] Okay, let's get to the good stuff. We're, you know, done with the [25:45.760 --> 25:48.120] theory. Let's get to the application. [25:49.260 --> 25:52.200] Alright, so building physical [25:52.660 --> 25:56.660] rapport. And the way that you, basically when I say [25:56.660 --> 25:59.700] rapport, what I mean is [26:01.900 --> 26:04.700] that you're in, the best way [26:04.700 --> 26:09.360] to describe it is rapport, but you're basically on the same level as someone. [26:10.400 --> 26:12.920] And the secret to liking is that people [26:12.920 --> 26:16.720] like people who are like them. A lot of people [26:16.720 --> 26:20.640] say opposite to track, that's not necessarily true. People like people [26:20.640 --> 26:24.160] who are like them. So the way to build physical rapport [26:24.490 --> 26:28.700] is mirroring and matching. Now, just [26:28.700 --> 26:32.700] to, just as like sort of a disclaimer, and I'll go [26:32.700 --> 26:36.840] over it a little bit later also, when I say mirroring and matching, I don't [26:36.840 --> 26:40.180] mean mimicking. There's a difference. [26:41.360 --> 26:44.400] You know, if somebody has an accent, don't mimic their accent. [26:45.720 --> 26:48.620] Or, I mean, unless that's something you do. People [26:48.620 --> 26:52.820] do that. But be congruent if you're gonna do it. [26:54.620 --> 26:56.680] Okay, so body [26:56.680 --> 27:00.680] position, posture, movement, rhythm. Body position [27:00.680 --> 27:04.380] is really simple. You know, people stand different ways. Some people [27:04.380 --> 27:08.520] let's see if I can get this. So some people stand with their arms [27:08.520 --> 27:12.660] crossed. Some people stand with one foot out. You know, [27:12.660 --> 27:16.840] just, you just kind of match the way they're standing. Again, don't mimic [27:16.840 --> 27:20.540] the way they're standing. You know, if somebody is standing with their foot out, you know, you can [27:20.540 --> 27:24.420] stand with your foot a little bit out. A little body position is actually a little easier to [27:24.420 --> 27:28.680] get a little bit more dangerous and really start mimicking people because a lot of times [27:28.680 --> 27:32.800] when you see people who really know each other and are talking to each other, [27:32.800 --> 27:36.380] you know, they'll be facing each other. Their legs will be crossed in the same way. [27:36.420 --> 27:40.260] Their head will be turned in the same way. Their arms will be in the same way. So [27:40.260 --> 27:43.220] you can go pretty far with this. [27:44.560 --> 27:48.200] Posture. Same thing. You know, if people stand slunched over [27:48.200 --> 27:52.680] you know, upright, same deal. Movement. This is something where you want to be [27:52.680 --> 27:56.660] careful with, with mimicking. If somebody does something like [27:56.660 --> 28:01.240] you know, scratches the back of their neck, you can go ahead and you know, scratch your shoulder. [28:01.640 --> 28:04.600] You know, or if somebody, you can match leg movements with arm movements. [28:04.600 --> 28:08.740] If somebody moves their leg, you can move their arm and you can move your arm and vice versa. [28:08.800 --> 28:12.380] It's basically just having a reciprocal [28:12.380 --> 28:14.200] movement to go along. [28:16.440 --> 28:20.540] Rhythm is good. A lot of people move really, a lot of people will move [28:20.540 --> 28:24.520] really quickly, they'll move slowly, they'll move in [28:24.520 --> 28:28.600] jolts, they'll move in like smooth curves. You just want to [28:28.600 --> 28:32.440] you want to just sort of match, you know, the way they're moving. [28:32.640 --> 28:36.540] Now breathing is more important than [28:36.540 --> 28:40.440] you'd think. There is a [28:40.440 --> 28:44.620] well, breathing is more important than you'd think. I can tell there's some NLP people [28:44.620 --> 28:48.400] in here that are recognizing the commands I'm giving people, right? [28:48.400 --> 28:52.460] Okay. Don't forget [28:52.460 --> 28:53.400] to breathe. [28:56.100 --> 28:59.800] Whatever you do, I'm not suggesting that you forget to breathe, but when you do. [29:02.080 --> 29:04.060] Okay, so breathing, breathing [29:04.060 --> 29:08.500] there's this, you know, without getting into the new age stuff, the idea [29:08.500 --> 29:12.400] is, you know, your breath really is the foundation for all [29:12.400 --> 29:16.280] the rest of the things you do with your body. If you want to relax, the best [29:16.280 --> 29:19.200] way is to breathe deeply for, you know, 20 minutes. [29:19.200 --> 29:23.360] So, if you begin to match someone's [29:23.360 --> 29:26.900] breathing, you can gain rapport very quickly. [29:26.900 --> 29:31.020] And you'll find yourself automatically gaining [29:31.020 --> 29:35.160] rapport a lot of the time, just by matching breathing. And Milton Erickson [29:35.160 --> 29:38.820] does this with hypnosis, by matching someone's breathing. [29:38.820 --> 29:41.580] But he also paces, and we'll get into that later. [29:43.000 --> 29:47.240] Voice. Voice is also a big thing. [29:47.240 --> 29:51.000] Voice tone. So, if somebody, some people have really, really [29:51.000 --> 29:55.040] high voices, really, really annoying voices, you know, you can match that if you're [29:55.040 --> 29:59.020] trying to get any rapport. Although, it's a really annoying high pitch, I suggest that [29:59.020 --> 30:03.240] anyone with a high pitch voice, get over yourself and lower your voice. [30:03.460 --> 30:07.140] Because people will take you much more seriously [30:07.140 --> 30:10.560] if you have a lower voice tone. [30:11.400 --> 30:15.100] Speed. Some people talk really fast, some people talk really [30:15.100 --> 30:18.720] slowly. Be sure to match that, because if [30:20.660 --> 30:22.880] someone is talking really slowly [30:22.880 --> 30:26.360] at you, and in a really low tone, and you talk at them like this, [30:26.360 --> 30:31.100] you know, they're not going to listen to you. Well, they might [30:31.100 --> 30:33.640] listen to you, but you're not going to have rapport. [30:35.040 --> 30:39.100] So, don't mimic. Again, don't mimic. [30:39.100 --> 30:42.680] Don't try to mimic their accents. [30:42.680 --> 30:46.400] Unless you find yourself naturally, some people find themselves naturally doing that. [30:46.400 --> 30:50.860] Matching accents. Sometimes I find myself doing it. It's just something that we do. [30:50.860 --> 30:54.580] It's part of human nature. But if you're going to do it consciously, [30:54.580 --> 30:58.580] be congruent about it. If you're in the [30:58.580 --> 31:03.100] foreign country, matching accents, [31:03.100 --> 31:05.780] do it the whole time you're there, or you're going to get caught. [31:09.800 --> 31:10.760] Now, [31:10.760 --> 31:14.340] building physical rapport is something you've probably all heard about [31:16.040 --> 31:18.820] at least a little bit. Matching verbal [31:18.820 --> 31:23.260] rapport is something that you'll hear about more on the tapes and more in the books. [31:23.260 --> 31:26.480] And this is something that's also very important, something that most people don't [31:26.480 --> 31:31.260] think about. Basically, [31:32.520 --> 31:34.900] like, okay, so you've heard of the representational [31:34.900 --> 31:38.820] systems. You've probably all heard of representational systems, you know, visual, [31:38.820 --> 31:40.440] auditory, kinesthetic. [31:42.380 --> 31:46.700] And just as a side note, some people will tell you, they'll make you fill out that [31:46.700 --> 31:50.840] form, you know, and they'll say, you are a kinesthetic. That is [31:50.840 --> 31:54.640] bullshit. There's no one here that [31:54.640 --> 31:57.240] is a kinesthetic. People [31:58.420 --> 32:02.520] use different representational systems in different contexts, and some people [32:02.520 --> 32:06.600] lead with different representational systems. But that does not mean [32:06.600 --> 32:10.520] that everything you do is kinesthetic. One NLP trainer [32:10.520 --> 32:14.540] said, if you go to an NLP seminar and they tell you you're a visual, [32:14.540 --> 32:18.380] ask for your money back, because they do not know what they're talking about. [32:19.640 --> 32:22.740] So people usually, there's [32:23.620 --> 32:26.380] the representational systems, and people usually [32:26.380 --> 32:30.480] prefer or lead with one or two. So, with that in mind, how do we [32:30.480 --> 32:34.680] use that to match someone verbally? What people might not [32:34.680 --> 32:37.540] realize is that we [32:39.700 --> 32:42.700] we will give off our representational systems [32:42.700 --> 32:46.620] by the way that we talk. And the way to determine this is through [32:46.620 --> 32:50.760] something called predicates. And basically what predicates [32:50.760 --> 32:54.340] are is everything after it, including the verb of a sentence. [32:54.580 --> 32:57.480] So if I say [32:59.940 --> 33:01.460] let's see, so if I say [33:01.460 --> 33:05.880] I went to the park yesterday. [33:05.880 --> 33:09.840] The predicate is went to the park yesterday, everything after the verb. [33:10.260 --> 33:13.500] Now, sometimes predicates can [33:13.500 --> 33:17.800] give away the representational systems. And I'll show you how. [33:17.800 --> 33:21.500] Here's an example. Someone who says, I can see [33:21.500 --> 33:23.720] what you're saying clearly. [33:25.260 --> 33:29.420] Now, somebody who says, I can see what you're saying clearly, as opposed to [33:29.420 --> 33:33.460] I can hear you loudly, or I can get a graphs on what [33:33.460 --> 33:36.900] you're saying, that person is using a visual [33:37.420 --> 33:41.100] representational system. Now, [33:41.100 --> 33:45.080] in NLP, it's taught that communicating [33:45.080 --> 33:49.320] with someone using the same representational system they're using can help to [33:49.320 --> 33:53.880] gain rapport. So if somebody says to you, I can see what you're saying clearly, [33:53.880 --> 33:57.140] say, I see [33:57.140 --> 34:00.960] we're seeing eye to eye, or something like that. [34:01.840 --> 34:05.200] And I'm not going to leave you in the dark, I'll give you some examples. [34:07.280 --> 34:09.160] Some visual phrases, I see [34:09.160 --> 34:12.960] what you mean, we see eye to eye, the future looks bright. [34:14.140 --> 34:17.300] Some auditory phrases, loud and clear, unheard of, [34:17.300 --> 34:21.320] word for word. Kinesthetic phrases, I can graphs that idea. [34:21.780 --> 34:25.300] I got the hang of it, I will get in touch with you. [34:25.300 --> 34:29.460] And you won't see olfactory or gustatory phrases [34:29.460 --> 34:33.180] all that much, but there are people out there who experience their world [34:33.180 --> 34:37.200] through food. I've met some of them, so [34:38.180 --> 34:40.180] be aware that people will [34:41.040 --> 34:45.260] really appreciate you using these sort of phrases. And these are mixed together because [34:45.260 --> 34:49.560] taste and smell are mixed together. So that's basically [34:49.560 --> 34:50.840] building rapport. [34:50.840 --> 34:54.720] So, let's see... [34:54.720 --> 34:58.760] I'm going to skip some modalities, and I'm going to [34:58.760 --> 35:02.660] do this, motivational strategies. [35:03.760 --> 35:06.900] So, once you've [35:06.900 --> 35:10.820] gained rapport, it's a lot easier to influence someone. Just [35:10.820 --> 35:14.880] gaining rapport can, I mean, when somebody says [35:14.880 --> 35:18.780] you know, I just trust this person, I don't know why, but I really [35:18.780 --> 35:22.480] do just trust them, then, you know, what they're saying is [35:22.480 --> 35:25.020] you're in rapport with them, basically. [35:26.300 --> 35:30.700] So, once you have that down, then you can go into influencing things. You can do [35:30.700 --> 35:35.200] influencing stuff before rapport, but it's not going to work as well. [35:35.320 --> 35:37.620] Or it might not even work at all sometimes. [35:39.700 --> 35:42.840] So, what are metaprograms? Metaprograms [35:42.840 --> 35:47.340] are perceptional filters. Like what I talked about before, the map is not the territory. [35:47.980 --> 35:50.400] Metaprograms are basically that map. [35:50.740 --> 35:54.700] And there are a lot of them in NLP. The one I'm going to go over is [35:55.160 --> 35:59.020] motivation strategies. And there are basically [35:59.020 --> 36:02.160] two motivation strategies that people use. [36:03.200 --> 36:06.600] One is toward, where people are motivated [36:07.160 --> 36:10.340] towards their goals and go for what they want. [36:10.940 --> 36:15.140] The other one is away from, motivated to avoid [36:15.140 --> 36:19.360] what you don't want. Now, it's probably better [36:21.580 --> 36:23.380] to have a toward [36:24.880 --> 36:27.040] motivation strategy. However, [36:27.040 --> 36:31.140] most people have an away from motivation strategy. So, to give you [36:31.140 --> 36:35.640] an idea of how this works in real life, [36:35.640 --> 36:39.020] people who are toward motivated will get out of bed and [36:39.020 --> 36:42.520] think about... will get out of bed because they're thinking about [36:42.520 --> 36:46.560] what they're going to do today and how much money they're going to make or [36:46.560 --> 36:50.500] how many new people they're going to meet or how close [36:50.500 --> 36:54.320] they are to that goal. It's really positive. And away from [36:54.320 --> 36:58.540] people get out of bed because they don't want to be late. [36:59.740 --> 37:02.600] They don't want... they're seeing images of [37:02.600 --> 37:06.520] their boss yelling at them. And they're like, oh, my boss is going to yell at me. I don't want [37:06.520 --> 37:10.740] that to happen so I'm going to have to get out of bed. And that's basically how it works. [37:10.740 --> 37:14.320] I'm not going to do a submodality [37:14.320 --> 37:18.700] demonstration, but I'll basically talk about what submodalities are [37:18.700 --> 37:23.140] and how to use them in using with motivation strategies. [37:23.140 --> 37:26.700] If you get some of the books or go online and do some more research, [37:26.700 --> 37:29.640] you can get a lot more into this. [37:31.900 --> 37:34.500] Actually, let me just explain exactly what submodalities are. [37:34.500 --> 37:38.840] Modalities are visual, auditory, kinesthetic. [37:40.280 --> 37:42.420] Submodalities are basically so [37:42.420 --> 37:46.920] in visual it's how big or bright a picture is in your mind [37:46.920 --> 37:50.500] or how close it is to you when you think about it [37:50.500 --> 37:51.900] in your mind. [37:54.380 --> 37:58.620] This comes with the idea that the way we think or perceive about something is directly linked to the way [37:58.620 --> 38:00.060] we feel about it. [38:02.980 --> 38:05.800] When we think about a situation [38:05.800 --> 38:10.220] in our minds, it's big and bright in front of us, [38:10.220 --> 38:13.300] then that means something to us. [38:14.380 --> 38:17.980] You have to look at it as meaning different things to different people, but for the majority [38:17.980 --> 38:22.160] of people, when an image is bigger and brighter in the mind, it's a lot more positive, [38:23.120 --> 38:26.100] you're a lot more motivated to do whatever it is. [38:27.500 --> 38:29.800] For visual representation, the bigger and brighter [38:29.800 --> 38:34.560] an image is in your mind, the more real, close, or attractive it feels. [38:37.360 --> 38:38.480] So, [38:39.180 --> 38:41.720] how do you use this to influence someone? [38:42.240 --> 38:46.640] Pretty simply. Use submodalities and phrases to make the picture they want in their head as big [38:46.640 --> 38:50.560] and bright as possible. And you can bind them with [38:50.560 --> 38:54.120] motivation strategies. So, [38:54.120 --> 38:58.760] I have a couple examples. They're a little bit extreme and kind of cheesy actually, [38:59.400 --> 39:01.540] but it gets the point across. [39:01.540 --> 39:04.720] So, for away from, [39:04.720 --> 39:09.080] I know you want to avoid a potentially big situation [39:09.080 --> 39:13.500] by pissing off the boss. So do I. Let's just get this done before it [39:13.500 --> 39:17.760] gets any bigger. I don't know if you can see things that are underlined here. [39:17.760 --> 39:22.440] It says, you want to avoid a potentially big situation, [39:22.440 --> 39:25.720] so that's a submodality word, thinking about the images that they're going to create [39:25.720 --> 39:29.680] in their head. When people, you can't [39:29.680 --> 39:33.640] think about something without having an image associated with it or a sound associated [39:33.640 --> 39:37.560] with it or something subjective associated with it. [39:37.560 --> 39:41.540] So this taps into that. So, you want to avoid a potentially big [39:41.540 --> 39:44.900] situation before it gets any bigger. [39:46.140 --> 39:49.740] So that's for away from. For toward, I know you want [39:49.740 --> 39:53.500] to make the boss happy and if you do this, I know he'll have a big [39:53.500 --> 39:57.800] bright smile on his face. And the future you want in the company will be closer [39:57.800 --> 40:01.980] than ever. So we have here underlined big bright [40:01.980 --> 40:05.880] and that's a submodality word and then closer than ever. [40:05.880 --> 40:09.360] So brighter, closer, more attractive. [40:10.320 --> 40:13.580] Great. Alright. [40:14.460 --> 40:17.820] So now the fun stuff. The Milton model. [40:18.340 --> 40:22.160] Now, the Milton model is [40:22.160 --> 40:24.220] something that was developed by Milton H. Erickson [40:24.220 --> 40:27.760] well, something that was developed from the study with Milton H. Erickson [40:29.560 --> 40:31.740] and it's used to [40:31.740 --> 40:36.140] pace and lead a person's reality, to distract and utilize [40:36.140 --> 40:39.660] the conscious mind, to access unconscious resources [40:40.220 --> 40:44.140] and it's used for hypnotic induction, therapy and influence. [40:44.140 --> 40:47.840] I'm not going to go over all the details with it. [40:48.020 --> 40:52.100] I'll refer you to a book that goes over it in extreme [40:52.100 --> 40:57.100] detail but I'm going to give you a few little tools for it. [40:58.140 --> 41:00.100] But first let me talk about what [41:00.100 --> 41:03.980] pacing and leading means. Now I've already [41:03.980 --> 41:08.140] taught you basically what pacing is. Basically pacing is [41:08.140 --> 41:12.260] rapport. So once you've gained rapport with someone [41:12.260 --> 41:15.560] you're starting where they're starting. [41:21.430 --> 41:24.070] Pacing like how fast you're [41:24.070 --> 41:25.650] yeah, not pacing [41:27.690 --> 41:31.970] yeah, not pacing by walking back and forth. No, yeah. Pacing in the [41:31.970 --> 41:35.890] terms of you are, you're pacing them like [41:35.890 --> 41:39.930] you were walking next to them, right? And you're walking at the same speed [41:39.930 --> 41:43.270] as they are. And you can actually try this with someone. [41:43.770 --> 41:47.730] A really good pacing and leading experiment and I'll tell you that [41:47.730 --> 41:51.670] after I talk about leading. But pacing is basically [41:51.670 --> 41:54.830] you start where the other person is. [41:56.850 --> 41:58.550] So that's rapport. [42:00.010 --> 42:03.790] Also describing an ongoing experience can also do it. [42:03.790 --> 42:07.410] I'm a little bit short on time so I'm going to go a little bit quicker through this. [42:07.470 --> 42:11.110] Okay, so leading, once you've started where they're starting [42:11.110 --> 42:15.450] you can then begin to make suggestions very slowly. [42:15.550 --> 42:18.090] Usually it's you pace [42:18.090 --> 42:22.070] usually you pace and then you lead [42:22.070 --> 42:26.650] and then you pace again and then you lead some more kind of thing. [42:26.650 --> 42:30.490] I think it's actually pace, pace, pace, lead, pace, pace, lead [42:30.490 --> 42:33.930] pace, lead, lead, lead, lead, lead kind of thing. [42:36.210 --> 42:38.290] Indirect deep structure of sentence. [42:38.290 --> 42:45.490] There we go. Okay, so techniques [42:45.490 --> 42:49.210] for the Milton model. So basically, like I said before, the Milton [42:49.210 --> 42:53.310] model is the reverse of the Meta model. So it's whole purpose [42:53.310 --> 42:57.370] is to make communication vague but in a way [42:57.370 --> 43:00.930] that is leading the mind that you want to influence [43:00.930 --> 43:04.550] in a certain way. So [43:07.110 --> 43:09.090] one of the major [43:09.090 --> 43:11.370] techniques is ambiguity. [43:13.530 --> 43:16.850] And an example of ambiguity would be [43:16.850 --> 43:20.630] certain things might come to mind. [43:20.970 --> 43:25.190] You might say when you think about being relaxed [43:25.190 --> 43:28.830] certain things might come to mind. What does that mean? [43:28.830 --> 43:32.850] That means something personal to the person that you're talking to and that means [43:32.850 --> 43:36.110] that it's going to be them making the images and it's not [43:37.210 --> 43:41.050] you're not telling them think about the last time [43:41.050 --> 43:45.290] you were playing golf. Maybe you don't play golf. [43:45.290 --> 43:49.630] You're telling them certain things might come to mind and it's a lot more effective. [43:50.590 --> 43:53.410] Another one, people can. [43:53.410 --> 43:58.050] People can begin to feel more comfortable when listening to a good speaker. [43:58.390 --> 44:01.310] So who are these people, right? [44:01.670 --> 44:03.170] Are you talking about [44:05.150 --> 44:09.710] the audience? Are you talking about a speaker? Are you talking about people in a foreign country? [44:09.710 --> 44:13.370] You're just saying people. But in order to really [44:13.370 --> 44:17.270] understand that sentence, people will make certain assumptions [44:17.270 --> 44:21.390] about it. And so some people will [44:21.390 --> 44:23.410] assume that it's them and that's the [44:24.990 --> 44:28.870] goal of that one. So another one [44:28.870 --> 44:32.950] is presuppositions, which are assumptions [44:32.950 --> 44:36.950] that have to made in order to make sense [44:36.950 --> 44:39.950] of a sentence. These are really powerful because [44:39.950 --> 44:43.770] your mind has to process [44:43.770 --> 44:48.010] things that are given to it. You can't talk to someone and have them [44:48.010 --> 44:52.030] not process what you've told them. So your brain has [44:52.030 --> 44:54.010] to make sense of these things somehow. [44:57.970 --> 45:00.050] One of the ways of doing this is by saying [45:00.050 --> 45:04.430] something like, will you be more relaxed if you stand up or sit down? [45:04.670 --> 45:08.050] Seems like a pretty innocuous sentence, but what's the [45:08.050 --> 45:11.810] presupposition here? That you'll be relaxed no matter [45:11.810 --> 45:12.890] what. [45:16.030 --> 45:18.830] And Milton uses this and you can use this [45:19.410 --> 45:23.970] in your own way. I'm not here to tell you how to use this stuff, [45:23.970 --> 45:26.870] I'm just showing you how it's done. [45:27.670 --> 45:31.990] So after you've told me what I need to know, you can go [45:31.990 --> 45:35.650] back to what you were doing. So this of course has a [45:36.430 --> 45:39.250] presupposition that you're going to tell me what I need to know. [45:39.750 --> 45:42.210] So those are two examples of presuppositions. [45:43.150 --> 45:45.650] Another one is embedded commands. [45:49.630 --> 45:51.590] And there's a lot of [45:51.590 --> 45:55.310] myths about embedded commands. Some people think that embedded [45:55.310 --> 45:59.370] commands are like, you're just talking like this [45:59.370 --> 46:03.010] and you're just saying something, give me money, and you just keep talking. [46:03.010 --> 46:06.250] You know? Right? That's not an embedded command, although [46:08.410 --> 46:10.490] that's subliminal and [46:10.810 --> 46:14.790] there's been some research in that, that it actually works. [46:15.030 --> 46:18.690] But embedded commands are ways of structuring sentences [46:18.690 --> 46:22.990] with commands in them in a way that the sentence [46:22.990 --> 46:27.010] itself seems very innocuous. So for example, [46:28.150 --> 46:30.670] I don't know if you can listen [46:30.670 --> 46:33.110] carefully to what I have to say. [46:33.670 --> 46:38.450] Now, this is just, it doesn't mean anything. [46:38.450 --> 46:41.830] I don't know, I'm saying something about myself, I don't know if. [46:41.830 --> 46:47.150] But the command here is listen carefully to what I have to say. [46:47.710 --> 46:50.770] Now, one thing about commands that I should point [46:50.770 --> 46:54.010] out is the way to do it most effectively [46:54.590 --> 46:58.790] is to actually change the tone of your voice. We actually have [46:58.790 --> 47:02.510] different voice tones associated with different types of sentences. [47:02.510 --> 47:06.710] So if I say something and my voice goes up, [47:06.710 --> 47:10.050] it's sort of a question, right? If I say something [47:10.650 --> 47:14.870] and my voice doesn't do anything, I'm just dictating it. [47:14.870 --> 47:19.370] But if I say something and my voice goes down, it's a command. [47:19.890 --> 47:22.950] So what you want to do is you want to say it like, I don't know if [47:22.950 --> 47:25.570] you can listen carefully to what I have to say. [47:26.450 --> 47:28.770] It's hard to really pick up, but it's [47:30.770 --> 47:33.670] you just got to think about, you have to separate [47:33.670 --> 47:37.810] it in your mind. You think about, I don't know if you can listen carefully to what I have to say. [47:38.490 --> 47:41.870] And unless somebody knows NLP, [47:41.870 --> 47:45.890] they're not going to pick up on it. And if somebody does know NLP, they'll realize [47:45.890 --> 47:50.150] that you always have a choice to follow a command or not. [47:50.390 --> 47:53.710] It's not like, if I say this command, it's going to happen. [47:53.710 --> 47:57.130] It's just you always have a choice, but some people [47:58.690 --> 48:01.390] are more open to things in different contexts. [48:05.650 --> 48:07.850] When I talk [48:08.470 --> 48:12.010] people are able to listen carefully to what I have to say. [48:12.190 --> 48:15.750] This combines two different things. This combines ambiguity [48:15.750 --> 48:20.610] and embedded commands. Who are the people? And then you can see the command there. [48:21.250 --> 48:22.670] And the last one [48:22.670 --> 48:26.970] is a [48:26.970 --> 48:30.870] combination of a whole different things. It goes, you don't have [48:30.870 --> 48:34.870] to listen carefully to what I have to say, but as you do, you'll begin [48:34.870 --> 48:40.530] to realize how you can use NLP in your own life. [48:40.530 --> 48:45.370] And I hope you take that one to heart. [48:45.370 --> 48:46.830] Alright, so sources and resources. [48:46.830 --> 48:50.330] It's really hard to find good resources on NLP [48:50.330 --> 48:54.230] because there's a lot of people who think NLP is mind control or there's a lot of people who are making [48:54.610 --> 48:58.390] a whole shitload of money off NLP. I mean, 2,000 bucks [48:58.390 --> 49:02.330] for a week seminar. 2,000 bucks for a weekend seminar. [49:03.130 --> 49:06.170] So I have some books that I'll show you. One of them is [49:06.170 --> 49:07.470] Introducing NLP. [49:10.330 --> 49:13.990] This one. It's a really great resource for NLP. [49:13.990 --> 49:17.950] It goes through just the Milton model, modeling, [49:17.950 --> 49:21.790] meta model. It goes through everything in one book. [49:21.790 --> 49:24.790] And you can pick this up Amazon, you know, wherever. [49:26.170 --> 49:30.450] The other one, it's one I was talking about before. [49:30.450 --> 49:32.730] NLP, The New Technology of Achievement. [49:33.110 --> 49:37.930] This book is really good because it's interactive. It actually, it teaches [49:37.930 --> 49:41.890] you NLP and all the different techniques, but it also [49:41.890 --> 49:45.410] takes you through all of the exercises. [49:45.410 --> 49:49.350] And the idea in therapy and NLP is you go first. [49:49.570 --> 49:53.330] If you want to use NLP, use it on yourself first or have someone else [49:53.330 --> 49:56.670] use it on you first. But this is a really good book [49:57.250 --> 50:01.170] even if you're not all that interested in NLP, but you're interested in [50:02.170 --> 50:04.910] self-help and things like that. This is a great book. [50:07.030 --> 50:09.450] And if you're really, really interested [50:10.070 --> 50:11.690] or even just sort of interested [50:11.690 --> 50:16.010] in Milton Erickson [50:16.010 --> 50:19.970] or indirect hypnosis, I would definitely suggest this book. [50:19.970 --> 50:23.710] This is The Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H. Erickson, Volume 1. [50:23.710 --> 50:27.990] There's two volumes. Get Volume 1. If you really like Volume 1, get Volume 2 [50:27.990 --> 50:30.970] because it's a lot more complicated. But this [50:31.690 --> 50:34.990] has a couple sections. One section goes over [50:36.010 --> 50:39.890] different articles written by Milton Erickson. Another section analyzes those articles [50:39.890 --> 50:44.250] by Richard Vandler and John Grinder. And then another section just gives you all the techniques. [50:45.110 --> 50:47.690] So, that is my talk. [50:47.690 --> 50:50.270] And I have like three minutes for questions. [50:56.170 --> 50:59.350] And if you have, I can take like one or two questions. [51:00.210 --> 51:02.130] I can take one or two questions, right? [51:03.230 --> 51:04.710] Come up to the mic, yeah. [51:07.070 --> 51:10.370] I was just wondering, would you use this technique [51:10.370 --> 51:14.190] like over a period of time to talk [51:14.190 --> 51:18.170] your boss into giving you a raise or a promotion or something along those lines? [51:18.190 --> 51:21.190] You could if you really wanted to. [51:22.850 --> 51:26.450] I would not suggest that you go out and do that now. [51:26.730 --> 51:30.150] But if you were to do it... He's not here. [51:30.230 --> 51:31.150] Oh, okay. [51:36.240 --> 51:38.400] Oh yeah, well if you want... [51:38.400 --> 51:41.440] These are just the books. These are just my display books here. [51:41.440 --> 51:45.000] If you want a free book, I can give you Writing Great Code. [51:46.620 --> 51:48.420] Who wants to write great code?