WEBVTT 02:23.100 --> 02:28.220 I've read a lot of the books and it's been one of my hobbies and one of my interests for a very long time. 02:28.500 --> 02:30.280 So that's where I'm coming from. 02:30.360 --> 02:36.580 And at the end I'm going to give you resources that you can go to to learn more about NLP without having to go to seminars. 02:37.000 --> 02:43.240 I'll give you some reputable books to go to and also I'll tell you some of the good seminar tapes to listen to. 02:44.080 --> 02:45.640 So that's a little bit about me. 02:47.920 --> 02:50.140 So, my goals for the talk. 02:50.140 --> 02:52.740 How many here have heard of NLP? 02:53.980 --> 02:54.980 Wow. 02:57.180 --> 03:09.480 Um, I'm basically doing this talk because there are a lot of people who have heard of NLP but there are more people who have heard of NLP but have a really wacky view of exactly what it is. 03:09.640 --> 03:16.720 And that's a lot of that is because the only way to learn about NLP is by going to a seminar. 03:16.720 --> 03:28.360 And people just don't have the money to go to seminars and when they advertise the seminars they say all this crazy stuff, you know, the theory of excellence or, you know, hypnosis and people just don't know what's going on. 03:28.360 --> 03:30.360 People think that NLP is all about mind control. 03:30.360 --> 03:31.920 Which it really isn't. 03:31.920 --> 03:33.660 Although you can use it for mind control. 03:35.400 --> 03:40.040 Alright, so, my first goal is to give an introduction to NLP. 03:40.040 --> 03:41.760 And this is just an introduction. 03:41.880 --> 03:46.560 I'm going to try to squeeze like a week long seminar into an hour, right? 03:46.560 --> 03:48.120 So I'm going to skip a lot of stuff. 03:48.120 --> 03:49.840 I'm going to go really fast through a lot of stuff. 03:49.840 --> 03:51.800 There's a lot of information on these slides. 03:51.960 --> 03:59.400 So I would suggest that you go back later, look at the CD, look online, look at the slides and it will all make sense to you more later on. 03:59.800 --> 04:01.700 So, that's my first goal. 04:03.260 --> 04:07.900 And my second goal is to give you tools for using NLP to influence. 04:07.900 --> 04:13.360 I thought that looking at NLP from an influence standpoint would be a good thing to do at a hacker convention. 04:14.000 --> 04:16.160 Because a lot of you are into social engineering. 04:16.340 --> 04:18.520 But a lot of you want a minute, right? 04:20.680 --> 04:24.600 Alright, so, in order to give you tools I'm going to give you several specific tools. 04:24.600 --> 04:26.640 One of them is gaining rapport. 04:27.180 --> 04:29.300 And I'll talk a lot more about that. 04:31.100 --> 04:32.420 Motivation strategies. 04:34.580 --> 04:37.260 I might do sub-modalities. 04:37.460 --> 04:40.480 I might skip through it because of time restraints. 04:40.480 --> 04:43.920 Because I want to get to the good stuff, which is the Milton model. 04:44.320 --> 04:45.600 Trust me, that's the good stuff. 04:45.600 --> 04:46.640 That's the hypnosis stuff. 04:46.640 --> 04:47.840 You want to learn that. 04:51.060 --> 04:53.180 So, what is NLP? 04:57.120 --> 04:59.900 Alright, so, what is NLP? 05:00.440 --> 05:08.140 One of the reasons why you're not going to hear one definition of NLP is because NLP isn't the study of anything. 05:08.140 --> 05:10.700 You can't put it in one sentence. 05:10.700 --> 05:27.560 So, what I basically say, and if you read the books that I'm going to show you in a little while, they'll say that NLP is the study of, not the study, the science of, excuse me, the science of excellence. 05:27.920 --> 05:29.940 And that is really ambiguous. 05:29.940 --> 05:33.640 And I think it's ambiguous for a reason to get people interested in it. 05:33.680 --> 05:37.580 It kind of makes sense, but that's not really what NLP is. 05:37.620 --> 05:45.280 So, what I say is that NLP is first and foremost a philosophy about how the mind works. 05:45.580 --> 05:51.840 And it is also a set of tools for using that philosophy to do a wide variety of things. 05:51.840 --> 06:00.680 Some of those things include hypnosis, therapy, change, all sorts of different things. 06:02.280 --> 06:08.140 And so what I'm going to do in the introduction is give you an introduction to the philosophy of NLP. 06:08.140 --> 06:13.580 And the philosophy of NLP, and NLP stands for neuro-linguistic programming. 06:14.080 --> 06:19.420 And you can break that down and that will tell you the different parts of the philosophy. 06:19.420 --> 06:21.560 First, there is the neurology. 06:21.560 --> 06:28.880 And that includes our five senses, you know, hearing, seeing, touching, tasting, five senses. 06:30.340 --> 06:33.580 Linguistic refers to language. 06:33.820 --> 06:37.420 And the way we use language to describe our world. 06:38.040 --> 06:47.840 One of the major theories in philosophy, psychology, and linguistics is that the way that we interact with the world, the way that we perceive the world is through language. 06:47.840 --> 06:50.720 If we don't have a word for it, it's very hard for us to perceive. 06:50.720 --> 06:55.880 And someone say it's impossible for us to perceive without a word for it. 06:55.980 --> 06:59.120 So, that's one part. 06:59.840 --> 07:01.160 And then programming. 07:01.780 --> 07:08.380 Programming refers to the habitual and often sequential nature of our thoughts, feelings, and actions. 07:08.720 --> 07:11.760 I'm going to go over the presuppositions of NLP. 07:12.020 --> 07:14.460 And I'll go over this a little more in detail. 07:14.620 --> 07:18.900 But basically the idea is that, you know, the brain is a computer . 07:19.180 --> 07:26.740 And the way that the brain works as a computer is to do the thing that spins the least amount of energy. 07:26.740 --> 07:28.440 So what we do is we get into habits. 07:28.440 --> 07:33.060 We have certain processes, certain sequences we go through to do things. 07:33.060 --> 07:35.360 And we do the same thing every time. 07:35.360 --> 07:40.560 We might not realize or recognize what that sequence is, but we always go through it. 07:40.560 --> 07:50.480 NLP is one way of recognizing what that sequence is, finding out how we use it, and finding out how to change it, finding out how to make better sequences, and so on and so forth. 07:51.600 --> 07:53.760 So, the history of NLP. 07:55.200 --> 08:01.540 NLP started in the 70s by two guys, Richard Bandler and John Grinder. 08:03.380 --> 08:11.800 They basically, let's see, John Grinder was a linguistic, was studying linguistics, and Richard Bandler was studying psychology. 08:12.000 --> 08:16.740 And they decided to go out and study successful therapists. 08:18.340 --> 08:19.320 There you go. 08:19.320 --> 08:20.720 So they studied successful therapists. 08:20.720 --> 08:29.400 They wanted to find out if these therapists, like Virginia Sutter or Fritz Perls at the time, these therapists were really successful at what they were doing. 08:29.560 --> 08:39.760 And they wanted to find out if there was a way of modeling what they were doing, trying to figure out linguistically exactly what they were saying, and if there was something common between all of them. 08:39.760 --> 08:46.520 And by finding that out, they were going to create a model of successful therapy, and then be able to teach it to other people. 08:46.840 --> 08:50.220 So they went in believing that they were going to be able to do this. 08:51.660 --> 08:54.180 So they observed patterns in their behaviors. 08:54.180 --> 08:58.780 And out of this study came the book, The Structure of Magic. 08:58.780 --> 09:01.820 It's actually two books, The Structure of Magic 1 and 2. 09:02.220 --> 09:05.620 And that book describes what is known as the meta-model. 09:06.020 --> 09:10.400 Now, the meta-model is basically the result of all of this. 09:10.940 --> 09:14.420 Basically, you know, they observed therapists and found out what questions they asked. 09:14.420 --> 09:21.620 And the meta-model is a way of asking questions to get to the real nature of what someone is trying to say. 09:21.620 --> 09:36.940 A lot of times people will be ambiguous about what they're saying, or they'll leave out things in what they're saying, or they'll say things like, I am really fascinated by this person. 09:37.380 --> 09:43.220 Now, if I say I'm really fascinated by someone, it makes sense to me. 09:43.220 --> 09:49.960 My idea of what fascination is, and the process that fascination is in my mind, is unique to me. 09:49.960 --> 09:53.140 Other people might have different processes for fascination. 09:53.160 --> 10:01.900 So if I tell someone that I'm fascinated with someone else, then I'm not really telling them what's going on in my head. 10:01.900 --> 10:06.080 And the meta-model is a way of getting to that core. 10:06.460 --> 10:10.320 And it creates a really successful therapeutic context. 10:12.640 --> 10:24.420 Now, after creating, after The Structure of Magic 1 and 2, Richard Bandler and John Grinder were contacted by someone who introduced them to Milton H. 10:24.420 --> 10:25.400 Erickson. 10:26.340 --> 10:34.240 Now, Milton Erickson, at the time, was known as the most successful hypnotherapist in the world. 10:34.240 --> 10:37.000 He was doing stuff that no one could figure out. 10:37.000 --> 10:47.260 He could take people who said that it was impossible for them to hypnotize, and he could shake their hand and do the handshake induction and have them go under in, you know, ten minutes. 10:47.380 --> 10:49.120 And no one understood what was going on. 10:49.120 --> 10:53.240 I mean, even Erickson said that he didn't quite know exactly what he was doing. 10:53.240 --> 10:57.040 He had just developed throughout the years this system that was working. 10:57.180 --> 11:03.040 And so somebody said, oh, well, okay, so these guys are really good at modeling therapists. 11:03.280 --> 11:07.320 What's going to happen if they model Milton Erickson? 11:09.920 --> 11:12.880 And what came out of that is the Milton model. 11:12.880 --> 11:16.360 And I'm going to teach you a little bit of the Milton model. 11:16.360 --> 11:21.100 Basically what the Milton model is is a way of indirect hypnosis. 11:21.100 --> 11:30.920 It's a way of indirectly communicating with the subconscious mind by manipulating the substructure of linguistics. 11:30.920 --> 11:35.300 So when I say basically it's the reverse of the meta model. 11:35.300 --> 11:44.820 Where the meta model is you're trying to find something more specific, the Milton model seeks to leave things out and to be ambiguous so that the mind has to fill that stuff in. 11:44.820 --> 11:58.140 By doing that people go inside themselves and they're able to find resources within themselves and they're able to more communicate with their subconscious and by doing that become more suggestible. 11:58.140 --> 12:02.420 You don't have to know that, but that's basically what indirect hypnosis is. 12:02.420 --> 12:04.620 And I'll go over the Milton model a little bit later. 12:06.080 --> 12:14.500 So not only did it... they get the Milton model out of that and this really brought NLP just light years ahead of what it was. 12:14.500 --> 12:19.080 This is what... the Milton model is what took NLP to what it is today. 12:19.120 --> 12:24.160 It also proved that powerful skills can be duplicated. 12:24.320 --> 12:35.960 Because what they did was they took Milton Erickson's way of hypnosis, they modeled it, they used it themselves, and then they were able to successfully teach it to other people. 12:40.240 --> 12:47.240 Also from the Milton model and from Milton Erickson they got what are known as the presuppositions of NLP. 12:47.240 --> 12:51.780 Presuppositions are basically assumptions and I'll actually go over that later. 12:56.560 --> 13:04.860 The first one is the major tagline of NLP is the map is not the territory. 13:05.740 --> 13:14.980 Basically what that means is that imagine you're looking at a road map. 13:15.040 --> 13:21.680 You lay a road map out of Las Vegas. 13:22.320 --> 13:25.540 Now that road map is really useful. 13:25.660 --> 13:35.100 You can use it to find your way, you can use it if you get lost, you can even use it to describe the landscape in pretty specific terms. 13:35.440 --> 13:38.460 But that map is not Las Vegas. 13:38.460 --> 13:47.740 There is an infinite amount of complexity in the actual thing, but the map only describes what is useful. 13:48.100 --> 13:55.140 The map is not the territory in NLP means that your mind does the same thing with reality. 13:55.200 --> 14:12.880 The idea is that reality is really bombarding you with an infinite amount of information, but you're filtering that information through a map that you create basically of your world through language and through the language described through your subjective experience. 14:15.520 --> 14:18.900 So every experience has a structure. 14:18.900 --> 14:19.820 That's basically the same thing. 14:19.820 --> 14:21.200 I'm going to go a little quick through these. 14:21.200 --> 14:22.140 There's a lot of them. 14:22.920 --> 14:31.640 And if you go to the, you know, get the books, go do some research online, you'll be able to get these a little bit more in depth. 14:31.640 --> 14:32.800 But every experience has a structure. 14:32.800 --> 14:38.320 Structure is basically the same thing as what I was talking about with fascination. 14:38.320 --> 14:48.860 Every thing that you experience has a sequence and it's usually in sequential order and it's usually, you're able to figure it out, you're able to influence it. 14:48.860 --> 14:51.000 So every experience has a structure. 14:52.040 --> 14:54.440 The mind and body are parts of the same system. 14:54.440 --> 14:56.940 Anything you do to the body will affect the mind. 14:56.940 --> 14:59.220 Anything you do to the mind will affect the body. 14:59.220 --> 15:05.760 The idea is that there's not this separate mind and body, but that they interact with each other. 15:08.880 --> 15:12.220 If one person can do something, anyone else can learn it. 15:12.220 --> 15:15.040 The idea is that we are all human beings. 15:15.040 --> 15:18.480 We all have basically the same hardware. 15:18.900 --> 15:31.860 So to think that one person can be really good at, you know, social engineering or can be really good at programming and you can't is pretty absurd because we all have the same thing. 15:32.120 --> 15:39.000 We all, however, think differently but that does not mean that we have different brains. 15:39.280 --> 15:45.120 So if we're able to think like another person, we're able to do the things that the other people are able to do. 15:46.880 --> 15:49.580 People already have all the resources they need. 15:51.260 --> 15:54.580 Just the idea that you... it's basically like resources. 15:54.580 --> 15:58.240 When I talk about resources, I'm talking about memories, emotions. 15:58.920 --> 16:16.840 You know, you think about some people are really like some people are really confident in one situation like some people are in the military and they can go out and jump out of a plane and feel okay with it. 16:16.840 --> 16:21.180 But when they're up in front of people, they get nervous and feel like they're going to throw up. 16:21.820 --> 16:23.300 So why is that? 16:23.300 --> 16:29.340 It's because they're using their resource for confidence in one place and not in the other place. 16:29.340 --> 16:33.700 The idea is that they have that resource to be confident but it's somewhere else. 16:33.700 --> 16:45.260 And NLP can help someone to use resources more widely and yeah, that's one of the applications of NLP in therapy. 16:46.280 --> 16:49.260 You can not not communicate. 16:49.640 --> 16:59.080 Basically the idea is even if you're not speaking, as long as you're within eyeshot of someone you are communicating with them. 16:59.680 --> 17:06.080 There is no way to not communicate with someone except not see them not be anywhere near them. 17:06.640 --> 17:20.160 There is a there is one statistic, I don't really like statistics all that much, but there's one statistic that says that 70% of our communication is non-verbal. 17:20.160 --> 17:25.820 So think about that next time you try to have a deep meaningful conversation online. 17:26.420 --> 17:29.500 Think about how much you're missing out on the real communication. 17:30.300 --> 17:33.220 That's where LJ drama comes in. 17:33.640 --> 17:34.520 Anyone know? 17:34.960 --> 17:40.060 My friends are going through LJ drama right now so I keep reminding them about that. 17:41.800 --> 17:44.540 The meaning of your communication is the response you get. 17:44.540 --> 17:56.220 You may have an intention when you communicate with someone, but if you say someone to someone and they get angry because you said it, you have your communication has triggered something in them to make them angry. 17:56.220 --> 17:59.880 So it's not about what you intended to do, it's about the response that you're getting. 17:59.880 --> 18:05.720 So you have to change your communication to match the response that you want to get and the other person. 18:09.660 --> 18:12.500 Underlying every behavior is a positive intention. 18:13.560 --> 18:37.460 This is one of the ideas also in the therapy of NLP where a lot of people when they're depressed and they're not feeling good, it's not necessarily because their brains are working poorly, it's because their brains are working really well, but they're not using them in the correct way. 18:40.060 --> 18:50.560 One of the easy ways of describing this is just to say that a lot of people ask themselves questions, you know, and when you ask your subconscious a question, it will answer it. 18:50.560 --> 18:52.820 No matter what question you ask them. 18:52.980 --> 18:58.980 So a lot of people, when they're feeling bad, they ask themselves you know, why do I feel so shitty? 18:59.080 --> 19:03.240 And their subconscious says, well here you go, there's this list of things, here's why you feel shitty. 19:04.420 --> 19:07.640 So NLP teaches people to ask better questions. 19:07.660 --> 19:11.260 To ask questions such as, how can I get out of this? 19:11.260 --> 19:12.460 How can I feel better? 19:12.460 --> 19:17.240 People don't think to ask these questions because they don't think that they have the resources to answer them. 19:17.740 --> 19:20.720 But the truth is that you have the resources to answer these questions. 19:20.720 --> 19:25.980 And talking about answering questions, if you guys have any questions, I have stuff to give away. 19:26.260 --> 19:28.960 So I'll just give these away for good questions. 19:30.840 --> 19:33.300 And you know, there's no such thing as a bad question. 19:39.180 --> 19:39.860 Yes? 19:49.690 --> 19:51.530 To get over the fear of it? 20:04.580 --> 20:08.660 Getting rid of fear and one of the big things of NLP is the phobia cure. 20:08.660 --> 20:11.280 It takes 20 minutes one session. 20:11.300 --> 20:14.780 It all deals with the way that you look at things in your mind. 20:15.100 --> 20:19.440 People think that change is a long painful process. 20:19.440 --> 20:21.080 Change can be very quick. 20:21.080 --> 20:25.820 It only takes the ability to believe that you're first able to change. 20:25.820 --> 20:32.720 If you don't believe that you're able to change, then change will take a really long time until you believe that you're able to change. 20:38.330 --> 20:47.870 There are, I don't know specifically, but it's not subliminal. 20:47.870 --> 20:57.670 Actually, I'm going to go over the books later, but this book, NLP, New Achievement of Technology, is a very good book for that. 20:57.670 --> 21:03.570 It goes over a lot of the NLP techniques and will actually take you through them. 21:03.570 --> 21:06.530 They're basically thought exercises. 21:06.530 --> 21:08.110 They're not really subliminal. 21:14.580 --> 21:16.800 Oh, yes. 21:21.410 --> 21:24.150 Newbies practicing hypnotism. 21:25.150 --> 21:35.610 When I get to, well I'll just tell you right now, basically hypnosis is not anything all that special. 21:35.610 --> 21:45.070 Basically when you're driving down the road and you suddenly, you know, you're suddenly at your destination and you don't remember how you got there, that's hypnosis. 21:45.070 --> 21:50.950 It's not a state that makes someone do anything you tell them to. 21:50.950 --> 22:01.270 Basically, hypnosis makes people more open to suggestions, but people won't do things that they that could go completely against their core beliefs. 22:01.750 --> 22:14.020 So, newbies practicing hypnosis, it can be dangerous, but not extremely dangerous, because there's always a block in people's minds. 22:14.040 --> 22:19.580 And people, you know, don't usually hypnotize themselves because they don't want to be hypnotized. 22:19.580 --> 22:23.300 They usually hypnotize themselves because they want to be hypnotized. 22:27.080 --> 22:30.900 People hypnotize themselves all the time and not realize it, basically. 22:30.900 --> 22:36.920 So it's not something that's you're not going to have someone walking around like a zombie doing everything you ask. 22:37.000 --> 22:43.380 You might see that on stage hypnosis, but basically what that is is people's natural exhibitionist tendencies. 22:44.080 --> 22:54.720 In stage hypnosis, they usually bring up a huge group of people and then they take the people out that aren't exhibitionists to begin with, basically. 22:54.720 --> 23:01.640 So to answer your question, it's dangerous, but it's not dangerous to the point of needing to be illegal or something like that. 23:04.340 --> 23:04.880 Yes? 23:04.880 --> 23:07.340 By the way, if you guys want some books, just come up here. 23:09.180 --> 23:09.900 Yes? 23:10.760 --> 23:12.520 Could you come up to the mic? 23:30.320 --> 23:31.520 Alright, alright, what? 23:33.280 --> 23:44.240 Yeah, let's actually, let me let me, no, what I meant was yeah, what I meant was for the people who answered the question, sorry about that, you guys. 23:46.540 --> 23:51.140 Yeah, I know, I totally, I screwed up my communication, I was really ambiguous, sorry you guys. 23:51.300 --> 23:54.800 I just, you know, I gave a command and everyone just followed it, you know? 23:56.240 --> 23:57.860 Geez , alright. 24:03.660 --> 24:07.700 Are you viewing this as temporary or as a permanent solution or will it recall a past event? 24:09.740 --> 24:19.760 Are you viewing this as a temporary or a permanent solution or if you, after you go through hypnosis and you gain this new attitude, if you recall a past event, will it trigger it back to what you used to be? 24:19.840 --> 24:30.660 It can trigger it, it's really about you can do it in one session and it can come back, however, the exercises are so easy that you can just do them again. 24:31.740 --> 24:37.680 Okay, actually, let me do this, let me just say, we're gonna yeah, we're gonna hold questions until afterwards. 24:38.600 --> 24:40.360 People are just, yeah. 24:43.120 --> 24:46.140 Yeah, I just, you know, I have lots of information. 24:46.140 --> 24:53.900 Actually, afterwards and also I'll be around, I'm not going anywhere, so after the talk, please ask me questions. 24:53.900 --> 24:54.740 Alright. 24:57.600 --> 25:04.820 And the last one, let's see, people are always making the best choices available to them. 25:04.920 --> 25:10.260 That idea is just basically, people are always making the best choices that they believe they have. 25:10.260 --> 25:13.740 If you give someone better choices, they'll make better choices. 25:14.940 --> 25:20.080 And the last one, if what you're doing isn't working, do something else, do anything else. 25:20.080 --> 25:23.940 A lot of times, if something isn't working, people just do more of what isn't working. 25:23.940 --> 25:28.740 The idea is you just do something else, anything else. 25:28.740 --> 25:35.120 You know, if you're inside and you feel depressed, go outside. 25:35.200 --> 25:36.700 It's really that simple. 25:36.700 --> 25:39.580 And maybe it's not the solution, but it's a step. 25:39.580 --> 25:41.380 You gotta just do something else. 25:41.480 --> 25:43.400 Okay, let's get to the good stuff. 25:43.400 --> 25:46.260 We're, you know, done with the theory. 25:46.260 --> 25:48.120 Let's get to the application. 25:49.260 --> 25:53.460 Alright, so building physical rapport. 25:54.760 --> 26:09.360 And the way that you, basically when I say rapport, what I mean is that you're in, the best way to describe it is rapport, but you're basically on the same level as someone. 26:10.400 --> 26:15.780 And the secret to liking is that people like people who are like them. 26:16.220 --> 26:19.440 A lot of people say opposite to track, that's not necessarily true. 26:19.440 --> 26:21.820 People like people who are like them. 26:21.820 --> 26:26.720 So the way to build physical rapport is mirroring and matching. 26:28.180 --> 26:38.380 Now, just to, just as like sort of a disclaimer, and I'll go over it a little bit later also, when I say mirroring and matching, I don't mean mimicking. 26:38.840 --> 26:40.180 There's a difference. 26:41.360 --> 26:44.400 You know, if somebody has an accent, don't mimic their accent. 26:45.720 --> 26:48.380 Or, I mean, unless that's something you do. 26:48.380 --> 26:49.540 People do that. 26:50.100 --> 26:52.820 But be congruent if you're gonna do it. 26:54.620 --> 27:00.020 Okay, so body position, posture, movement, rhythm. 27:00.020 --> 27:02.300 Body position is really simple. 27:02.300 --> 27:04.060 You know, people stand different ways. 27:04.060 --> 27:06.280 Some people let's see if I can get this. 27:07.020 --> 27:09.400 So some people stand with their arms crossed. 27:09.920 --> 27:12.260 Some people stand with one foot out. 27:12.260 --> 27:15.880 You know, just, you just kind of match the way they're standing. 27:15.880 --> 27:18.000 Again, don't mimic the way they're standing. 27:18.000 --> 27:22.220 You know, if somebody is standing with their foot out, you know, you can stand with your foot a little bit out. 27:22.220 --> 27:34.340 A little body position is actually a little easier to get a little bit more dangerous and really start mimicking people because a lot of times when you see people who really know each other and are talking to each other, you know, they'll be facing each other. 27:34.340 --> 27:36.380 Their legs will be crossed in the same way. 27:36.420 --> 27:38.320 Their head will be turned in the same way. 27:38.320 --> 27:40.060 Their arms will be in the same way. 27:40.060 --> 27:43.220 So you can go pretty far with this. 27:44.560 --> 27:45.420 Posture. 27:45.420 --> 27:46.140 Same thing. 27:46.140 --> 27:51.080 You know, if people stand slunched over you know, upright, same deal. 27:51.080 --> 27:51.600 Movement. 27:51.600 --> 27:54.820 This is something where you want to be careful with, with mimicking. 27:55.160 --> 28:01.240 If somebody does something like you know, scratches the back of their neck, you can go ahead and you know, scratch your shoulder. 28:01.640 --> 28:04.600 You know, or if somebody, you can match leg movements with arm movements. 28:04.600 --> 28:08.740 If somebody moves their leg, you can move their arm and you can move your arm and vice versa. 28:08.800 --> 28:14.200 It's basically just having a reciprocal movement to go along. 28:16.440 --> 28:17.420 Rhythm is good. 28:17.420 --> 28:28.060 A lot of people move really, a lot of people will move really quickly, they'll move slowly, they'll move in jolts, they'll move in like smooth curves. 28:28.060 --> 28:32.440 You just want to you want to just sort of match, you know, the way they're moving. 28:32.640 --> 28:37.540 Now breathing is more important than you'd think. 28:38.700 --> 28:42.920 There is a well , breathing is more important than you'd think. 28:42.920 --> 28:47.960 I can tell there's some NLP people in here that are recognizing the commands I'm giving people, right? 28:48.160 --> 28:48.880 Okay . 28:51.660 --> 28:53.400 Don't forget to breathe. 28:56.100 --> 28:59.800 Whatever you do, I'm not suggesting that you forget to breathe, but when you do. 29:02.080 --> 29:14.440 Okay, so breathing, breathing there's this, you know, without getting into the new age stuff, the idea is, you know, your breath really is the foundation for all the rest of the things you do with your body. 29:14.860 --> 29:19.200 If you want to relax, the best way is to breathe deeply for, you know, 20 minutes. 29:19.200 --> 29:26.900 So, if you begin to match someone's breathing, you can gain rapport very quickly. 29:26.900 --> 29:34.320 And you'll find yourself automatically gaining rapport a lot of the time, just by matching breathing. 29:34.440 --> 29:38.820 And Milton Erickson does this with hypnosis, by matching someone's breathing. 29:38.820 --> 29:41.580 But he also paces, and we'll get into that later. 29:43.000 --> 29:44.280 Voice. 29:44.620 --> 29:47.240 Voice is also a big thing. 29:47.240 --> 29:48.780 Voice tone. 29:48.840 --> 29:55.720 So, if somebody, some people have really, really high voices, really, really annoying voices, you know, you can match that if you're trying to get any rapport. 29:55.720 --> 30:03.240 Although, it's a really annoying high pitch, I suggest that anyone with a high pitch voice, get over yourself and lower your voice. 30:03.460 --> 30:10.560 Because people will take you much more seriously if you have a lower voice tone. 30:11.400 --> 30:12.000 Speed. 30:12.000 --> 30:15.700 Some people talk really fast, some people talk really slowly. 30:16.140 --> 30:29.680 Be sure to match that, because if someone is talking really slowly at you, and in a really low tone, and you talk at them like this, you know, they're not going to listen to you. 30:30.380 --> 30:33.640 Well, they might listen to you, but you're not going to have rapport. 30:35.040 --> 30:37.100 So, don't mimic. 30:37.200 --> 30:39.100 Again, don't mimic. 30:39.100 --> 30:42.680 Don't try to mimic their accents. 30:42.680 --> 30:46.400 Unless you find yourself naturally, some people find themselves naturally doing that. 30:46.400 --> 30:47.220 Matching accents. 30:47.220 --> 30:49.160 Sometimes I find myself doing it. 30:49.260 --> 30:50.860 It's just something that we do. 30:50.860 --> 30:52.440 It's part of human nature. 30:52.460 --> 30:56.200 But if you're going to do it consciously, be congruent about it. 30:56.960 --> 31:05.780 If you're in the foreign country, matching accents, do it the whole time you're there, or you're going to get caught. 31:09.800 --> 31:17.920 Now, building physical rapport is something you've probably all heard about at least a little bit. 31:18.080 --> 31:23.260 Matching verbal rapport is something that you'll hear about more on the tapes and more in the books. 31:23.260 --> 31:27.840 And this is something that's also very important, something that most people don't think about. 31:29.660 --> 31:35.760 Basically, like, okay, so you've heard of the representational systems. 31:35.980 --> 31:40.440 You've probably all heard of representational systems, you know, visual, auditory, kinesthetic. 31:42.380 --> 31:49.780 And just as a side note, some people will tell you, they'll make you fill out that form, you know, and they'll say, you are a kinesthetic. 31:50.040 --> 31:51.940 That is bullshit. 31:52.040 --> 31:56.380 There's no one here that is a kinesthetic. 31:56.820 --> 32:05.560 People use different representational systems in different contexts, and some people lead with different representational systems. 32:05.560 --> 32:09.120 But that does not mean that everything you do is kinesthetic. 32:09.280 --> 32:18.380 One NLP trainer said, if you go to an NLP seminar and they tell you you're a visual, ask for your money back, because they do not know what they're talking about. 32:19.640 --> 32:28.420 So people usually, there's the representational systems, and people usually prefer or lead with one or two. 32:28.860 --> 32:33.220 So, with that in mind, how do we use that to match someone verbally? 32:33.460 --> 32:44.220 What people might not realize is that we we will give off our representational systems by the way that we talk. 32:44.300 --> 32:48.720 And the way to determine this is through something called predicates. 32:48.720 --> 32:54.340 And basically what predicates are is everything after it, including the verb of a sentence. 32:54.580 --> 33:05.880 So if I say let's see, so if I say I went to the park yesterday. 33:05.880 --> 33:09.840 The predicate is went to the park yesterday, everything after the verb. 33:10.260 --> 33:15.880 Now, sometimes predicates can give away the representational systems. 33:16.380 --> 33:17.800 And I'll show you how. 33:17.800 --> 33:19.040 Here's an example. 33:19.500 --> 33:23.720 Someone who says, I can see what you're saying clearly. 33:25.260 --> 33:39.000 Now, somebody who says, I can see what you're saying clearly, as opposed to I can hear you loudly, or I can get a graphs on what you're saying, that person is using a visual representational system. 33:40.160 --> 33:50.560 Now, in NLP, it's taught that communicating with someone using the same representational system they're using can help to gain rapport. 33:50.580 --> 34:00.960 So if somebody says to you, I can see what you're saying clearly, say, I see we're seeing eye to eye, or something like that. 34:01.840 --> 34:05.200 And I'm not going to leave you in the dark, I'll give you some examples. 34:07.280 --> 34:12.960 Some visual phrases, I see what you mean, we see eye to eye, the future looks bright. 34:14.140 --> 34:18.460 Some auditory phrases, loud and clear, unheard of, word for word. 34:18.600 --> 34:21.320 Kinesthetic phrases, I can graphs that idea. 34:21.780 --> 34:25.300 I got the hang of it, I will get in touch with you. 34:25.300 --> 34:35.180 And you won't see olfactory or gustatory phrases all that much, but there are people out there who experience their world through food. 34:35.780 --> 34:44.120 I've met some of them, so be aware that people will really appreciate you using these sort of phrases. 34:44.120 --> 34:47.320 And these are mixed together because taste and smell are mixed together. 34:48.380 --> 34:50.840 So that's basically building rapport. 34:50.840 --> 34:54.720 So, let's see... 34:54.720 --> 35:02.660 I'm going to skip some modalities, and I'm going to do this, motivational strategies. 35:03.760 --> 35:10.540 So, once you've gained rapport, it's a lot easier to influence someone. 35:10.540 --> 35:25.020 Just gaining rapport can, I mean, when somebody says you know, I just trust this person, I don't know why, but I really do just trust them, then, you know, what they're saying is you're in rapport with them, basically. 35:26.300 --> 35:30.360 So, once you have that down, then you can go into influencing things. 35:30.360 --> 35:35.200 You can do influencing stuff before rapport, but it's not going to work as well. 35:35.320 --> 35:37.620 Or it might not even work at all sometimes. 35:39.700 --> 35:41.560 So, what are metaprograms? 35:42.440 --> 35:44.420 Metaprograms are perceptional filters. 35:44.420 --> 35:47.340 Like what I talked about before, the map is not the territory. 35:47.980 --> 35:50.400 Metaprograms are basically that map. 35:50.740 --> 35:53.320 And there are a lot of them in NLP. 35:53.320 --> 35:56.800 The one I'm going to go over is motivation strategies. 35:57.260 --> 36:02.160 And there are basically two motivation strategies that people use. 36:03.200 --> 36:10.340 One is toward, where people are motivated towards their goals and go for what they want. 36:10.940 --> 36:16.660 The other one is away from, motivated to avoid what you don't want. 36:16.660 --> 36:26.420 Now, it's probably better to have a toward motivation strategy. 36:26.420 --> 36:30.080 However, most people have an away from motivation strategy. 36:30.140 --> 36:51.980 So, to give you an idea of how this works in real life, people who are toward motivated will get out of bed and think about... will get out of bed because they're thinking about what they're going to do today and how much money they're going to make or how many new people they're going to meet or how close they are to that goal. 36:52.580 --> 36:53.740 It's really positive. 36:53.740 --> 36:58.540 And away from people get out of bed because they don't want to be late. 36:59.740 --> 37:04.300 They don't want... they're seeing images of their boss yelling at them. 37:04.300 --> 37:06.180 And they're like, oh, my boss is going to yell at me. 37:06.180 --> 37:08.580 I don't want that to happen so I'm going to have to get out of bed. 37:09.040 --> 37:10.740 And that's basically how it works. 37:10.740 --> 37:23.140 I'm not going to do a submodality demonstration, but I'll basically talk about what submodalities are and how to use them in using with motivation strategies. 37:23.140 --> 37:29.640 If you get some of the books or go online and do some more research, you can get a lot more into this. 37:31.900 --> 37:34.500 Actually, let me just explain exactly what submodalities are. 37:34.500 --> 37:38.840 Modalities are visual, auditory, kinesthetic. 37:40.280 --> 37:51.900 Submodalities are basically so in visual it's how big or bright a picture is in your mind or how close it is to you when you think about it in your mind. 37:54.380 --> 38:00.060 This comes with the idea that the way we think or perceive about something is directly linked to the way we feel about it. 38:02.980 --> 38:13.300 When we think about a situation in our minds, it's big and bright in front of us, then that means something to us. 38:14.380 --> 38:26.100 You have to look at it as meaning different things to different people, but for the majority of people, when an image is bigger and brighter in the mind, it's a lot more positive, you're a lot more motivated to do whatever it is. 38:27.500 --> 38:34.560 For visual representation, the bigger and brighter an image is in your mind, the more real, close, or attractive it feels. 38:37.360 --> 38:41.720 So, how do you use this to influence someone? 38:42.240 --> 38:43.420 Pretty simply. 38:43.420 --> 38:49.040 Use submodalities and phrases to make the picture they want in their head as big and bright as possible. 38:49.400 --> 38:52.080 And you can bind them with motivation strategies. 38:52.680 --> 38:55.600 So, I have a couple examples. 38:55.600 --> 39:01.540 They're a little bit extreme and kind of cheesy actually, but it gets the point across. 39:01.540 --> 39:11.120 So, for away from, I know you want to avoid a potentially big situation by pissing off the boss. 39:11.200 --> 39:12.180 So do I. 39:12.180 --> 39:14.760 Let's just get this done before it gets any bigger. 39:14.760 --> 39:17.760 I don't know if you can see things that are underlined here. 39:17.760 --> 39:26.800 It says, you want to avoid a potentially big situation, so that's a submodality word, thinking about the images that they're going to create in their head. 39:27.500 --> 39:37.560 When people, you can't think about something without having an image associated with it or a sound associated with it or something subjective associated with it. 39:37.560 --> 39:39.200 So this taps into that. 39:39.580 --> 39:44.900 So, you want to avoid a potentially big situation before it gets any bigger. 39:46.140 --> 39:47.540 So that's for away from. 39:47.680 --> 39:55.620 For toward, I know you want to make the boss happy and if you do this, I know he'll have a big bright smile on his face. 39:55.620 --> 39:59.180 And the future you want in the company will be closer than ever. 39:59.180 --> 40:05.880 So we have here underlined big bright and that's a submodality word and then closer than ever. 40:05.880 --> 40:09.360 So brighter, closer, more attractive. 40:10.320 --> 40:11.720 Great. 40:12.300 --> 40:13.580 Alright. 40:14.460 --> 40:16.140 So now the fun stuff. 40:16.140 --> 40:17.820 The Milton model. 40:18.340 --> 40:23.980 Now, the Milton model is something that was developed by Milton H. 40:23.980 --> 40:27.440 Erickson well, something that was developed from the study with Milton H. 40:27.440 --> 40:44.140 Erickson and it's used to pace and lead a person's reality, to distract and utilize the conscious mind, to access unconscious resources and it's used for hypnotic induction, therapy and influence. 40:44.140 --> 40:47.840 I'm not going to go over all the details with it. 40:48.020 --> 40:57.100 I'll refer you to a book that goes over it in extreme detail but I'm going to give you a few little tools for it. 40:58.140 --> 41:02.780 But first let me talk about what pacing and leading means. 41:02.940 --> 41:06.180 Now I've already taught you basically what pacing is. 41:06.180 --> 41:09.200 Basically pacing is rapport. 41:09.840 --> 41:15.560 So once you've gained rapport with someone you're starting where they're starting. 41:21.430 --> 41:30.350 Pacing like how fast you're yeah, not pacing yeah, not pacing by walking back and forth. 41:30.350 --> 41:30.970 No, yeah. 41:30.990 --> 41:38.070 Pacing in the terms of you are, you're pacing them like you were walking next to them, right? 41:38.070 --> 41:40.610 And you're walking at the same speed as they are. 41:40.610 --> 41:43.270 And you can actually try this with someone. 41:43.770 --> 41:50.230 A really good pacing and leading experiment and I'll tell you that after I talk about leading. 41:50.230 --> 41:54.830 But pacing is basically you start where the other person is. 41:56.850 --> 41:58.550 So that's rapport. 42:00.010 --> 42:03.790 Also describing an ongoing experience can also do it. 42:03.790 --> 42:07.410 I'm a little bit short on time so I'm going to go a little bit quicker through this. 42:07.470 --> 42:15.450 Okay, so leading, once you've started where they're starting you can then begin to make suggestions very slowly. 42:15.550 --> 42:26.650 Usually it's you pace usually you pace and then you lead and then you pace again and then you lead some more kind of thing. 42:26.650 --> 42:33.930 I think it's actually pace, pace, pace, lead, pace, pace, lead pace, lead, lead, lead, lead, lead kind of thing. 42:36.210 --> 42:38.290 Indirect deep structure of sentence. 42:38.290 --> 42:44.290 There we go. 42:44.290 --> 42:47.630 Okay, so techniques for the Milton model. 42:47.630 --> 42:51.930 So basically, like I said before, the Milton model is the reverse of the Meta model. 42:51.930 --> 43:02.830 So it's whole purpose is to make communication vague but in a way that is leading the mind that you want to influence in a certain way. 43:03.830 --> 43:11.370 So one of the major techniques is ambiguity. 43:13.530 --> 43:20.630 And an example of ambiguity would be certain things might come to mind. 43:20.970 --> 43:27.670 You might say when you think about being relaxed certain things might come to mind. 43:27.710 --> 43:28.830 What does that mean? 43:28.830 --> 43:42.590 That means something personal to the person that you're talking to and that means that it's going to be them making the images and it's not you're not telling them think about the last time you were playing golf. 43:43.390 --> 43:45.290 Maybe you don't play golf. 43:45.290 --> 43:49.630 You're telling them certain things might come to mind and it's a lot more effective. 43:50.590 --> 43:53.410 Another one, people can. 43:53.410 --> 43:58.050 People can begin to feel more comfortable when listening to a good speaker. 43:58.390 --> 44:01.310 So who are these people, right? 44:01.670 --> 44:06.390 Are you talking about the audience? 44:06.390 --> 44:07.750 Are you talking about a speaker? 44:07.750 --> 44:09.710 Are you talking about people in a foreign country? 44:09.710 --> 44:11.170 You're just saying people. 44:11.570 --> 44:19.110 But in order to really understand that sentence, people will make certain assumptions about it. 44:20.490 --> 44:26.650 And so some people will assume that it's them and that's the goal of that one. 44:28.010 --> 44:38.390 So another one is presuppositions, which are assumptions that have to made in order to make sense of a sentence. 44:38.390 --> 44:45.550 These are really powerful because your mind has to process things that are given to it. 44:45.550 --> 44:51.090 You can't talk to someone and have them not process what you've told them. 44:51.090 --> 44:54.010 So your brain has to make sense of these things somehow. 44:57.970 --> 45:04.430 One of the ways of doing this is by saying something like, will you be more relaxed if you stand up or sit down? 45:04.670 --> 45:09.170 Seems like a pretty innocuous sentence, but what's the presupposition here? 45:09.250 --> 45:12.890 That you'll be relaxed no matter what. 45:16.030 --> 45:21.190 And Milton uses this and you can use this in your own way. 45:21.190 --> 45:26.870 I'm not here to tell you how to use this stuff, I'm just showing you how it's done. 45:27.670 --> 45:33.550 So after you've told me what I need to know, you can go back to what you were doing. 45:34.250 --> 45:39.250 So this of course has a presupposition that you're going to tell me what I need to know. 45:39.750 --> 45:42.210 So those are two examples of presuppositions. 45:43.150 --> 45:45.650 Another one is embedded commands. 45:49.630 --> 45:53.970 And there's a lot of myths about embedded commands. 45:54.050 --> 46:03.010 Some people think that embedded commands are like, you're just talking like this and you're just saying something, give me money, and you just keep talking. 46:03.010 --> 46:04.070 You know? 46:04.070 --> 46:04.550 Right? 46:04.550 --> 46:14.790 That's not an embedded command, although that's subliminal and there's been some research in that, that it actually works. 46:15.030 --> 46:25.590 But embedded commands are ways of structuring sentences with commands in them in a way that the sentence itself seems very innocuous. 46:25.590 --> 46:33.110 So for example, I don't know if you can listen carefully to what I have to say. 46:33.670 --> 46:38.450 Now, this is just, it doesn't mean anything. 46:38.450 --> 46:41.830 I don't know, I'm saying something about myself, I don't know if. 46:41.830 --> 46:47.150 But the command here is listen carefully to what I have to say. 46:47.710 --> 46:57.430 Now, one thing about commands that I should point out is the way to do it most effectively is to actually change the tone of your voice. 46:57.670 --> 47:02.510 We actually have different voice tones associated with different types of sentences. 47:02.510 --> 47:08.830 So if I say something and my voice goes up, it's sort of a question, right? 47:08.830 --> 47:14.870 If I say something and my voice doesn't do anything, I'm just dictating it. 47:14.870 --> 47:19.370 But if I say something and my voice goes down, it's a command. 47:19.890 --> 47:25.570 So what you want to do is you want to say it like, I don't know if you can listen carefully to what I have to say. 47:26.450 --> 47:34.350 It's hard to really pick up, but it's you just got to think about, you have to separate it in your mind. 47:34.350 --> 47:37.810 You think about, I don't know if you can listen carefully to what I have to say. 47:38.490 --> 47:43.490 And unless somebody knows NLP, they're not going to pick up on it. 47:43.490 --> 47:50.150 And if somebody does know NLP, they'll realize that you always have a choice to follow a command or not. 47:50.390 --> 47:53.710 It's not like, if I say this command, it's going to happen. 47:53.710 --> 48:01.390 It's just you always have a choice, but some people are more open to things in different contexts. 48:05.650 --> 48:12.010 When I talk people are able to listen carefully to what I have to say. 48:12.190 --> 48:13.850 This combines two different things. 48:13.850 --> 48:17.430 This combines ambiguity and embedded commands. 48:17.430 --> 48:18.590 Who are the people? 48:18.930 --> 48:20.610 And then you can see the command there. 48:21.250 --> 48:28.470 And the last one is a combination of a whole different things. 48:28.470 --> 48:38.790 It goes, you don't have to listen carefully to what I have to say, but as you do, you'll begin to realize how you can use NLP in your own life. 48:40.050 --> 48:42.390 And I hope you take that one to heart. 48:44.890 --> 48:46.710 Alright , so sources and resources. 48:46.710 --> 48:56.870 It's really hard to find good resources on NLP because there's a lot of people who think NLP is mind control or there's a lot of people who are making a whole shitload of money off NLP. 48:56.970 --> 49:00.070 I mean, 2,000 bucks for a week seminar. 49:00.070 --> 49:02.330 2,000 bucks for a weekend seminar. 49:03.130 --> 49:05.610 So I have some books that I'll show you. 49:05.610 --> 49:07.470 One of them is Introducing NLP. 49:10.330 --> 49:11.310 This one. 49:11.310 --> 49:13.990 It's a really great resource for NLP. 49:13.990 --> 49:18.750 It goes through just the Milton model, modeling, meta model. 49:18.750 --> 49:21.790 It goes through everything in one book. 49:21.790 --> 49:24.790 And you can pick this up Amazon, you know, wherever. 49:26.170 --> 49:30.450 The other one, it's one I was talking about before. 49:30.450 --> 49:32.730 NLP, The New Technology of Achievement. 49:33.110 --> 49:36.430 This book is really good because it's interactive. 49:36.470 --> 49:45.410 It actually, it teaches you NLP and all the different techniques, but it also takes you through all of the exercises. 49:45.410 --> 49:49.350 And the idea in therapy and NLP is you go first. 49:49.570 --> 49:54.650 If you want to use NLP, use it on yourself first or have someone else use it on you first. 49:55.410 --> 50:03.550 But this is a really good book even if you're not all that interested in NLP, but you're interested in self-help and things like that. 50:03.550 --> 50:04.910 This is a great book. 50:07.030 --> 50:19.970 And if you're really, really interested or even just sort of interested in Milton Erickson or indirect hypnosis, I would definitely suggest this book. 50:19.970 --> 50:22.450 This is The Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H. 50:22.450 --> 50:23.710 Erickson, Volume 1. 50:23.710 --> 50:25.030 There's two volumes. 50:25.030 --> 50:26.130 Get Volume 1. 50:26.130 --> 50:30.050 If you really like Volume 1, get Volume 2 because it's a lot more complicated. 50:30.230 --> 50:33.370 But this has a couple sections. 50:33.370 --> 50:38.190 One section goes over different articles written by Milton Erickson. 50:38.190 --> 50:42.250 Another section analyzes those articles by Richard Vandler and John Grinder. 50:42.250 --> 50:44.250 And then another section just gives you all the techniques. 50:45.110 --> 50:47.690 So, that is my talk. 50:47.690 --> 50:50.270 And I have like three minutes for questions. 50:56.170 --> 50:59.350 And if you have, I can take like one or two questions. 51:00.210 --> 51:02.130 I can take one or two questions, right? 51:03.230 --> 51:04.710 Come up to the mic, yeah. 51:07.070 --> 51:18.170 I was just wondering, would you use this technique like over a period of time to talk your boss into giving you a raise or a promotion or something along those lines? 51:18.190 --> 51:21.190 You could if you really wanted to. 51:22.850 --> 51:26.450 I would not suggest that you go out and do that now. 51:26.730 --> 51:30.150 But if you were to do it... He's not here. 51:30.230 --> 51:31.150 Oh, okay. 51:36.240 --> 51:38.400 Oh yeah, well if you want... 51:38.400 --> 51:40.000 These are just the books. 51:40.000 --> 51:41.440 These are just my display books here. 51:41.440 --> 51:45.000 If you want a free book, I can give you Writing Great Code. 51:46.620 --> 51:48.420 Who wants to write great code?