1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,375 We'll let them set up for this because it will take a little bit. 2 00:00:03,375 --> 00:00:05,876 Quick announcement before we start the panel. 3 00:00:05,876 --> 00:00:05,876 There's going to be a section up this where one of the people 4 00:00:05,876 --> 00:00:05,876 up here will be recording video that might capture faces in the audience, 5 00:00:05,876 --> 00:00:08,125 being DEF CON you have the warning you can hide. 6 00:00:08,125 --> 00:00:11,250 We don't normally do that but you've been officially warned. 7 00:00:11,250 --> 00:00:13,999 Sit in the back and we won't be able to get your picture. 8 00:00:13,999 --> 00:00:15,584 I'm going to take a test photo. 9 00:00:15,584 --> 00:00:16,584 He's a fed! 10 00:00:16,584 --> 00:00:17,584 He's a fed! 11 00:00:17,584 --> 00:00:19,042 This is all a tick, he's a fed! 12 00:00:19,042 --> 00:00:20,083 Raise your hands. 13 00:00:20,083 --> 00:00:21,834 We've got more people coming in. 14 00:00:21,834 --> 00:00:21,834 Now we want to take a picture with your hands 15 00:00:21,834 --> 00:00:24,834 up that acknowledges that it's okay to take your pictures. 16 00:00:24,834 --> 00:00:25,834 Yes! 17 00:00:25,834 --> 00:00:27,501 We've got free spaces in the front. 18 00:00:27,501 --> 00:00:30,083 As you come in the door, find the guys with the hands. 19 00:00:30,083 --> 00:00:33,375 As you come in, see people with hands, they've got empty chairs. 20 00:00:33,375 --> 00:00:34,375 Look, he's here. 21 00:00:34,375 --> 00:00:34,375 Just in case you have to, like, go to the bathroom or something 22 00:00:34,375 --> 00:00:37,292 because there's chocolate up here and it might get messy. 23 00:00:37,292 --> 00:00:38,292 Exit out the back. 24 00:00:38,292 --> 00:00:39,292 Exit out the side. 25 00:00:39,292 --> 00:00:42,375 While we're setting up, I'd like to go over the ground rules. 26 00:00:42,375 --> 00:00:43,542 We have a lot of nudity. 27 00:00:43,542 --> 00:00:44,959 Rich Mogull stole my seat. 28 00:00:44,959 --> 00:00:44,959 You might not see him for most of the presentation, 29 00:00:44,959 --> 00:00:47,250 but I assure you he'll be under me and squirming. 30 00:00:47,250 --> 00:00:49,250 And will probably take his pants off. 31 00:00:49,250 --> 00:00:52,626 People with their hands up should have Rich take his hands off. 32 00:00:52,626 --> 00:00:55,459 I've got to run my slides first, I haven't started yet. 33 00:00:55,459 --> 00:00:55,459 What Rich just said in analyst terms is he's going 34 00:00:55,459 --> 00:00:55,459 to check his content to make sure it's viable 35 00:00:55,459 --> 00:00:56,459 for this audience. 36 00:00:56,459 --> 00:00:57,709 Who's easily offended? 37 00:00:57,709 --> 00:00:58,709 In are you here? 38 00:00:58,709 --> 00:00:58,709 Is this one of those things your friend tries 39 00:00:58,709 --> 00:01:01,584 to take you to the Claremont lounge, the worst club ever? 40 00:01:01,584 --> 00:01:04,584 There's no reason you'd be here if you're easily offended. 41 00:01:04,584 --> 00:01:05,959 It's aversion therapy. 42 00:01:05,959 --> 00:01:05,959 Do you know statistically speaking every fail panel someone has gotten 43 00:01:05,959 --> 00:01:07,083 down to their underwear. 44 00:01:07,083 --> 00:01:08,751 Does that offend anybody here? 45 00:01:08,751 --> 00:01:11,501 The majority of the time, 75% of the time it's been Rich. 46 00:01:11,501 --> 00:01:12,542 We have 100 bucks. 47 00:01:12,542 --> 00:01:14,959 I like the butter, it made my nipples tasty. 48 00:01:14,959 --> 00:01:14,959 But Rob has already Rob has already offered to donate $100 49 00:01:14,959 --> 00:01:17,459 to the Barnaby Jack fund if Rich gets his pants off. 50 00:01:17,459 --> 00:01:21,250 So, if Rich doesn't get his pants off, he doesn't like the memory of Barnaby. 51 00:01:21,250 --> 00:01:22,959 I don't have a knife or gun on me. 52 00:01:22,959 --> 00:01:23,959 Now I do. 53 00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:24,999 No, actually, I don't. 54 00:01:24,999 --> 00:01:24,999 Usually we make waffles but this year we're making pancakes 55 00:01:24,999 --> 00:01:27,292 also known as flap jacks in memory of Barnaby. 56 00:01:27,292 --> 00:01:27,292 Half the funds going to Barnaby's family and the other half 57 00:01:27,292 --> 00:01:30,667 of EFF and if you haven't noticed, the EFF is important this year. 58 00:01:30,667 --> 00:01:30,667 So please if you want pancakes, feel free 59 00:01:30,667 --> 00:01:30,667 to donate any money you can find in your heart to give for Barns 60 00:01:30,667 --> 00:01:33,083 and something like our little civil liberties. 61 00:01:33,083 --> 00:01:34,083 So thanks. 62 00:01:34,083 --> 00:01:35,083 Do we have any Feds? 63 00:01:35,083 --> 00:01:36,542 We don't want to call you out. 64 00:01:36,542 --> 00:01:37,626 Just raise your hand. 65 00:01:37,626 --> 00:01:39,999 I was led to believe that would work, sorry. 66 00:01:39,999 --> 00:01:40,999 Any prior military? 67 00:01:40,999 --> 00:01:41,999 You know what? 68 00:01:41,999 --> 00:01:43,999 He's actually immigrating to England. 69 00:01:43,999 --> 00:01:45,375 Yeah, he's going to England. 70 00:01:45,375 --> 00:01:47,250 Maybe not after this panel, though. 71 00:01:47,250 --> 00:01:48,250 Right. 72 00:01:48,250 --> 00:01:49,999 Well, thank you for your service. 73 00:01:49,999 --> 00:01:52,459 Everybody, let's give them a round of applause. 74 00:01:52,459 --> 00:01:54,584 Wait wait wait, unless it's the Air Force. 75 00:01:54,584 --> 00:01:55,999 Do not clap for the Air Force. 76 00:01:55,999 --> 00:01:56,999 They're military? 77 00:01:56,999 --> 00:01:58,501 They are not the military. 78 00:01:58,501 --> 00:02:00,209 They hang out with the Coast Guard. 79 00:02:00,209 --> 00:02:02,834 They're the guys who have the nuclear weapons. 80 00:02:02,834 --> 00:02:04,083 There's more than that. 81 00:02:04,083 --> 00:02:04,083 We're going to go into the part of fail panel where we discuss Army 82 00:02:04,083 --> 00:02:04,083 and nuclear weapons apparently so, if you don't want to be here 83 00:02:04,083 --> 00:02:06,501 for that we got to get somebody to ride the bomb. 84 00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:06,501 If you can find the guy in the Air Force in this room, 85 00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:06,501 you should walk up to him and ask him 86 00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:07,834 if he will ride your bomb. 87 00:02:07,834 --> 00:02:10,375 And by bomb you should point to your quat ral region. 88 00:02:10,375 --> 00:02:12,999 We're actually supposed to start in five minutes. 89 00:02:12,999 --> 00:02:15,792 There's phrases you don't hear at DEF CON all the time. 90 00:02:15,792 --> 00:02:16,999 Is your consistency okay. 91 00:02:16,999 --> 00:02:18,083 It's very regular. 92 00:02:18,083 --> 00:02:19,209 8:20 every morning. 93 00:02:19,209 --> 00:02:20,626 Whether you need it or not. 94 00:02:20,626 --> 00:02:21,999 We all need a reading break. 95 00:02:21,999 --> 00:02:21,999 RICH MOGULL: I'd like I'd like to draw attention to Rob Graham, 96 00:02:21,999 --> 00:02:21,999 he's wearing Google Glasses, every time the last two months I've seen 97 00:02:21,999 --> 00:02:23,626 him, he's had Google Glasses on. 98 00:02:23,626 --> 00:02:24,626 Shower! 99 00:02:24,626 --> 00:02:25,626 shower! 100 00:02:25,626 --> 00:02:26,626 shower! 101 00:02:26,626 --> 00:02:27,876 Put it in the blender. 102 00:02:27,876 --> 00:02:28,876 Let it blend. 103 00:02:28,876 --> 00:02:31,250 Okay, Glass, search for pictures of diarrhea. 104 00:02:31,250 --> 00:02:32,250 (Laughter). 105 00:02:32,250 --> 00:02:35,792 The best feature of Google Glass is that it's great for trolling. 106 00:02:35,792 --> 00:02:35,792 Like walking around DEF CON with Google Glass with tape 107 00:02:35,792 --> 00:02:37,999 over this and watching people's reactions. 108 00:02:37,999 --> 00:02:37,999 Because of course tape over the camera doesn't do 109 00:02:37,999 --> 00:02:38,999 anything bad. 110 00:02:38,999 --> 00:02:40,125 But then they get upset. 111 00:02:40,125 --> 00:02:40,125 It's great to go out to dinner with Dave and sit there 112 00:02:40,125 --> 00:02:42,999 the entire dinner lock loaning up in the air doing this. 113 00:02:42,999 --> 00:02:43,999 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 114 00:02:43,999 --> 00:02:44,999 Uh huh. 115 00:02:44,999 --> 00:02:44,999 DAVE MAYNOR: And that, ladies and gentlemen, 116 00:02:44,999 --> 00:02:47,125 is why you should not have Google Glasses. 117 00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:48,125 But we have beer. 118 00:02:48,125 --> 00:02:49,292 So who here is wait, no. 119 00:02:49,292 --> 00:02:50,292 What's the age? 120 00:02:50,292 --> 00:02:51,834 Yeah, who here is 21 and over? 121 00:02:51,834 --> 00:02:52,959 I had to check on that. 122 00:02:52,959 --> 00:02:54,626 Wait, where's the rest of the beer. 123 00:02:54,626 --> 00:02:55,792 This is the prefail. 124 00:02:55,792 --> 00:02:56,999 We've already failed. 125 00:02:56,999 --> 00:02:57,999 The warmup. 126 00:02:57,999 --> 00:02:58,999 Stretch it out. 127 00:02:58,999 --> 00:02:58,999 DAVE MAYNOR: Everybody look at my beautiful fiancee over there 128 00:02:58,999 --> 00:02:59,999 and say we want beer. 129 00:02:59,999 --> 00:03:00,999 Beeeeeeeeer! 130 00:03:00,999 --> 00:03:04,584 And by beautiful fiancee, I mean the woman in red hair, not the big guy. 131 00:03:04,584 --> 00:03:04,584 While we do share a bed occasionally, we only have sex when it's 132 00:03:04,584 --> 00:03:05,834 absolutely necessary. 133 00:03:05,834 --> 00:03:06,999 I I'll have a bud light. 134 00:03:06,999 --> 00:03:08,292 I need something after that. 135 00:03:08,292 --> 00:03:09,292 I'm really fast. 136 00:03:09,292 --> 00:03:10,751 I can be done in two minutes. 137 00:03:10,751 --> 00:03:12,083 In case you didn't hear it. 138 00:03:12,083 --> 00:03:15,083 Liquidmatrix's comment is "I can be done in two minutes." 139 00:03:15,083 --> 00:03:16,083 Hey, Ron! 140 00:03:16,083 --> 00:03:16,083 Welcome to the 6th annual DEF CON 141 00:03:16,083 --> 00:03:17,083 security jam! 142 00:03:17,083 --> 00:03:18,083 Whoo! 143 00:03:18,083 --> 00:03:19,999 You were supposed to shout free bird. 144 00:03:19,999 --> 00:03:20,999 You fail. 145 00:03:20,999 --> 00:03:22,209 Room keys, throw that way. 146 00:03:22,209 --> 00:03:23,250 Underwear that way. 147 00:03:23,250 --> 00:03:24,709 We're not doing that again. 148 00:03:24,709 --> 00:03:26,334 This is the 6th annual fail panel. 149 00:03:26,334 --> 00:03:29,834 Each year they let us sit up here and make asses of you and ourselves. 150 00:03:29,834 --> 00:03:30,999 So thank you for coming. 151 00:03:30,999 --> 00:03:33,584 It would be much less fun if we didn't have targets. 152 00:03:33,584 --> 00:03:33,584 With the flap jacks, this year we're making pancakes 153 00:03:33,584 --> 00:03:33,584 otherwise known as flap jacks so half 154 00:03:33,584 --> 00:03:36,209 the money we raise through your generous offerings. 155 00:03:36,209 --> 00:03:39,083 Half we raise will go to EFF and half to Barnaby's family. 156 00:03:39,083 --> 00:03:41,250 If you don't like what you get, tough luck. 157 00:03:41,250 --> 00:03:41,250 So we have a variety of folks, I'll let them introduce themselves 158 00:03:41,250 --> 00:03:42,417 as they do their spots. 159 00:03:42,417 --> 00:03:42,417 I have a quick fail before we let our next volunteer do 160 00:03:42,417 --> 00:03:43,417 their thing. 161 00:03:43,417 --> 00:03:45,250 I want to give the award to logarithm. 162 00:03:45,250 --> 00:03:46,876 Who was at black hat this year. 163 00:03:46,876 --> 00:03:46,876 Raise your hand if you're Blackhat and if you were, did you stay 164 00:03:46,876 --> 00:03:46,876 at Caesar's did you have one of these lovely shower hangers 165 00:03:46,876 --> 00:03:48,709 on your bathroom shower at Caesar's? 166 00:03:48,709 --> 00:03:49,709 You got lucky. 167 00:03:49,709 --> 00:03:49,709 I'm going to give logarithm the award for creepiest vendor 168 00:03:49,709 --> 00:03:50,876 at Blackhat this year. 169 00:03:50,876 --> 00:03:50,876 Nothing like waking up at far too early in the morning 170 00:03:50,876 --> 00:03:50,876 or late in the afternoon and going to take a shower and discovering this 171 00:03:50,876 --> 00:03:50,876 hanging on your shower head that says, 172 00:03:50,876 --> 00:03:50,876 "Think you're exposed?" 173 00:03:50,876 --> 00:03:51,876 (Laughter). 174 00:03:51,876 --> 00:03:52,999 What about your assets? 175 00:03:52,999 --> 00:03:52,999 And you know, there's nothing that makes me feel 176 00:03:52,999 --> 00:03:52,999 like wanting to purchase something like a vendor 177 00:03:52,999 --> 00:03:55,375 like being stalked first thing in the morning. 178 00:03:55,375 --> 00:03:56,542 In the shower naked. 179 00:03:56,542 --> 00:03:56,542 And David, the guy who came in to do it in my room opened 180 00:03:56,542 --> 00:03:56,542 the door and saw me there and decided he did not want 181 00:03:56,542 --> 00:03:58,876 to into my shower so he handed it to me and ran. 182 00:03:58,876 --> 00:04:00,501 Rich, are your slides done yet? 183 00:04:00,501 --> 00:04:01,501 I just started. 184 00:04:01,501 --> 00:04:02,501 Excellent. 185 00:04:02,501 --> 00:04:03,501 I'll go last. 186 00:04:03,501 --> 00:04:04,501 As usual. 187 00:04:04,501 --> 00:04:06,459 Can we look like we're professional? 188 00:04:06,459 --> 00:04:07,792 You seriously Google. 189 00:04:07,792 --> 00:04:08,792 He really is. 190 00:04:08,792 --> 00:04:09,834 I can go whenever. 191 00:04:09,834 --> 00:04:10,834 Absolutely. 192 00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:11,834 Excellent. 193 00:04:11,834 --> 00:04:13,083 Fuck you, man, I got kids. 194 00:04:13,083 --> 00:04:14,083 He's using Bing! 195 00:04:14,083 --> 00:04:14,083 Actually, actually, being DEF CON in the DEF CON network being that it's 196 00:04:14,083 --> 00:04:14,083 DEF CON and the DEF CON network, he knows that no one else 197 00:04:14,083 --> 00:04:17,417 is monitoring what's going to Bing so it's probably pretty safe. 198 00:04:17,417 --> 00:04:17,417 There are two things I like to do in private and both have Bing 199 00:04:17,417 --> 00:04:18,417 in the phrase. 200 00:04:18,417 --> 00:04:19,834 I think you scared Alex. 201 00:04:19,834 --> 00:04:21,209 Where's the Bing in Shizer. 202 00:04:21,209 --> 00:04:22,209 Are you ready? 203 00:04:22,209 --> 00:04:23,209 I'm ready. 204 00:04:23,209 --> 00:04:24,751 Okay, Jamie, take it away. 205 00:04:24,751 --> 00:04:25,999 (cheers and applause)? 206 00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:28,083 JAMES ARLEN: So I got a mic, a mic, and a GA. 207 00:04:28,083 --> 00:04:29,250 This keeps turning off. 208 00:04:29,250 --> 00:04:30,250 It wasn't me. 209 00:04:30,250 --> 00:04:31,250 Oh, fuck. 210 00:04:31,250 --> 00:04:32,250 VGA. 211 00:04:32,250 --> 00:04:34,999 I'll keep my finger on the button, the entire time. 212 00:04:34,999 --> 00:04:36,999 Please connect directly to the NSA. 213 00:04:36,999 --> 00:04:36,999 Last year at the fail panel this says 214 00:04:36,999 --> 00:04:37,999 poisonous mic. 215 00:04:37,999 --> 00:04:39,501 Labeling here sucks this year. 216 00:04:39,501 --> 00:04:39,501 Last year I did my slides on stage much as Rich 217 00:04:39,501 --> 00:04:40,501 is doing right now. 218 00:04:40,501 --> 00:04:41,501 And look at that. 219 00:04:41,501 --> 00:04:41,501 Next year we should all just do our slides 220 00:04:41,501 --> 00:04:42,999 as we give our presentations. 221 00:04:42,999 --> 00:04:42,999 JAMES ARLEN: You know what, I could have done this 222 00:04:42,999 --> 00:04:42,999 with just preview but I wanted to give you a title slide so I could talk 223 00:04:42,999 --> 00:04:45,667 about how to discover that hotel Internet is funny. 224 00:04:45,667 --> 00:04:46,999 We're not projecting. 225 00:04:46,999 --> 00:04:47,999 What's going on? 226 00:04:47,999 --> 00:04:48,999 I can see it there! 227 00:04:48,999 --> 00:04:49,999 Fail over here. 228 00:04:49,999 --> 00:04:50,999 Now it's over there. 229 00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:52,125 Failing over there. 230 00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:53,125 AV people. 231 00:04:53,125 --> 00:04:54,751 Here we fail, there we fail. 232 00:04:54,751 --> 00:04:55,751 Everywhere we fail. 233 00:04:55,751 --> 00:04:56,999 (cheers and applause). 234 00:04:56,999 --> 00:04:58,167 Don't be a cyber douche. 235 00:04:58,167 --> 00:04:59,167 So Dan Charles. 236 00:04:59,167 --> 00:05:00,167 Yay! 237 00:05:00,167 --> 00:05:02,125 You're blowing the circuit breaker. 238 00:05:02,125 --> 00:05:03,125 Yeah, I know. 239 00:05:03,125 --> 00:05:04,125 I can hold it. 240 00:05:04,125 --> 00:05:05,834 Keep your finger on the button. 241 00:05:05,834 --> 00:05:09,876 When you all start to see me shake, you'll know it's from being electrocuted. 242 00:05:09,876 --> 00:05:10,876 In a round motion. 243 00:05:10,876 --> 00:05:12,125 Is that good for you, Chris? 244 00:05:12,125 --> 00:05:13,125 All right. 245 00:05:14,709 --> 00:05:18,876 So last year I did my slides on stage and that was fun and all. 246 00:05:18,876 --> 00:05:20,542 This year I decided to be prepared. 247 00:05:20,542 --> 00:05:23,501 So when I got to Vegas, I still had no slides. 248 00:05:27,167 --> 00:05:31,999 Anybody stay in a hotel that has no guest protection 249 00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:34,083 on its Wi Fi? 250 00:05:34,999 --> 00:05:38,709 Anybody stay in a hotel that has no guest protection 251 00:05:38,709 --> 00:05:42,375 on its Wi Fi and I just lost my slides. 252 00:05:43,209 --> 00:05:45,083 We can see them. 253 00:05:45,083 --> 00:05:47,167 I think we shorted the whole stage out. 254 00:05:47,167 --> 00:05:50,834 I lost that screen, too. 255 00:05:50,999 --> 00:05:55,125 I'm sitting at Caesar's trying to prepare for my training with Rich. 256 00:05:55,125 --> 00:05:58,999 Did you guys break something? 257 00:05:59,459 --> 00:06:02,959 There's no What did you step on JAMES ARLEN: Hit the breaker. 258 00:06:03,083 --> 00:06:04,999 Did we blow the whole room? 259 00:06:04,999 --> 00:06:05,999 Oh, no. 260 00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:06,999 Holy shit. 261 00:06:06,999 --> 00:06:08,083 Anybody got a lighter. 262 00:06:08,083 --> 00:06:09,834 I have a lighter. 263 00:06:09,834 --> 00:06:12,751 JAMES ARLEN: So Rich and I are sitting in Rich's room, 264 00:06:12,751 --> 00:06:16,125 trying to prepare, looking at slides. 265 00:06:18,083 --> 00:06:20,918 All of a sudden out of the complete freaking 266 00:06:20,918 --> 00:06:22,792 blue, (cheers). 267 00:06:22,792 --> 00:06:29,999 What are they doing? 268 00:06:29,999 --> 00:06:31,375 I have no idea. 269 00:06:31,375 --> 00:06:33,792 You're going to hold that circuit breaker? 270 00:06:35,751 --> 00:06:37,999 This is still off. 271 00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:40,999 We're calling for help. 272 00:06:41,125 --> 00:06:43,959 There's no help coming. 273 00:06:43,959 --> 00:06:46,542 Call the union. 274 00:06:48,876 --> 00:06:54,459 Half cooked pancakes are delicious. 275 00:06:54,999 --> 00:06:58,999 JAMES ARLEN: You ever have a moment you knew somebody else 276 00:06:58,999 --> 00:07:01,584 was in your computer? 277 00:07:02,999 --> 00:07:06,999 You got to Vegas and forgot to turn on your firewall. 278 00:07:08,250 --> 00:07:12,751 Because failure, that's my modus operandi, bitches. 279 00:07:12,999 --> 00:07:17,667 I look over at my machine because somebody else's desktop 280 00:07:17,667 --> 00:07:19,334 is on it. 281 00:07:21,751 --> 00:07:22,999 (Laughter). 282 00:07:25,375 --> 00:07:31,125 Out of an abundance of caution, I asked our local Mac security expert, 283 00:07:31,125 --> 00:07:35,876 Rich Mogull, read his articles on Mac world. 284 00:07:36,999 --> 00:07:40,250 I can't keep the Mac things straight. 285 00:07:40,250 --> 00:07:43,584 The power is on on the fucking thing. 286 00:07:43,584 --> 00:07:44,999 There's power on on that. 287 00:07:44,999 --> 00:07:45,999 Keep talking. 288 00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:46,999 JAMES ARLEN: Okay. 289 00:07:46,999 --> 00:07:48,459 Please don't touch me there. 290 00:07:53,417 --> 00:07:58,334 I have large monitors in my office that exceed sanity. 291 00:07:58,375 --> 00:08:02,250 I habitually leave air server running because it's an easy way 292 00:08:02,250 --> 00:08:05,999 to take what I'm looking at on my phone or iPad and put it 293 00:08:05,999 --> 00:08:08,626 on a monitor in my office. 294 00:08:08,999 --> 00:08:09,999 Guess what? 295 00:08:10,334 --> 00:08:13,918 People will promiscuously join whatever air 296 00:08:13,918 --> 00:08:19,999 server they can in the hopes that it's the TV in the hotel room. 297 00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:31,501 Raise your hand if you're promiscuous. 298 00:08:31,501 --> 00:08:33,250 Jay Daniel wins on that one. 299 00:08:33,250 --> 00:08:35,959 Rich and I are trying to scramble and remembering what's the code 300 00:08:35,959 --> 00:08:39,999 for screen shot and grabbing our phones to take a picture of it. 301 00:08:41,083 --> 00:08:44,250 And then the music starts. 302 00:08:49,751 --> 00:08:54,501 So I'd been fooling around with this and for reasons that shall remain not 303 00:08:54,501 --> 00:08:58,584 astonishing to anyone I lose a folder full of screen shots you 304 00:08:58,584 --> 00:09:01,667 but I did catch this lovely one. 305 00:09:03,083 --> 00:09:07,584 Which is the guy troubleshooting why he can't hear his YouTube video 306 00:09:07,584 --> 00:09:09,083 any more. 307 00:09:11,709 --> 00:09:16,501 I had perfect fidelity of it. 308 00:09:16,501 --> 00:09:20,792 So as a call to action, as a go out and stamp 309 00:09:20,792 --> 00:09:24,999 out cyber douchery everywhere. 310 00:09:25,209 --> 00:09:31,751 I will ask all of you individually and severally, to please run air server, 311 00:09:31,751 --> 00:09:37,999 configure your air server host name as capital A small ppetTV. 312 00:09:40,542 --> 00:09:52,751 If you're on a Mac. 313 00:09:52,751 --> 00:09:54,999 The keys you're looking for that neither Rich 314 00:09:54,999 --> 00:09:58,334 nor I could remember are command shift 3. 315 00:09:58,501 --> 00:10:00,083 Or 4. 316 00:10:00,083 --> 00:10:04,792 JAMES ARLEN: 4 makes you draw a window, 3 takes it in the instant. 317 00:10:04,792 --> 00:10:08,999 Just because air server by default fills the entire screen. 318 00:10:08,999 --> 00:10:13,125 Just keep hitting those three keys while they puzzle out why their audio 319 00:10:13,125 --> 00:10:17,209 or video disappeared or share their corporate secrets with you 320 00:10:17,209 --> 00:10:19,709 because they're dumb. 321 00:10:21,459 --> 00:10:23,083 I'm going to say this. 322 00:10:23,083 --> 00:10:26,999 As years of a Mac user, it is easy to be very secure. 323 00:10:26,999 --> 00:10:30,999 It is foolish to just depend on intrinsic security because look 324 00:10:30,999 --> 00:10:34,667 at me, I've got a genius to depend on. 325 00:10:38,459 --> 00:10:39,999 Not rich. 326 00:10:41,999 --> 00:10:44,250 Rich is a different kind of genius. 327 00:10:44,999 --> 00:10:48,751 Anybody know who had 90 minutes to prep a Blackhat talk? 328 00:10:50,626 --> 00:10:53,999 First talk of the morning, 90 minutes prep and he killed it 329 00:10:53,999 --> 00:10:55,626 for an hour. 330 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:59,584 There are no other professionals like that in our industry. 331 00:10:59,792 --> 00:11:03,584 So my call to action, configure your air server as AppleTV, 332 00:11:03,584 --> 00:11:07,542 server runs on Raspberry Pi mby the way. 333 00:11:07,999 --> 00:11:12,375 Send screen shots to me so I can post them 334 00:11:12,375 --> 00:11:16,501 and we can titter in glee. 335 00:11:17,876 --> 00:11:23,083 If somebody is so enterprising to take my intellectual property 336 00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:27,125 and build such a device, please, someone make me 337 00:11:27,125 --> 00:11:33,292 a Raspberry Pi image that connects via Wi Fi to whatever it can and runs 338 00:11:33,292 --> 00:11:37,459 as an air server as AppleTV and screen shots once 339 00:11:37,459 --> 00:11:39,584 every second. 340 00:11:40,417 --> 00:11:41,999 Build it. 341 00:11:42,334 --> 00:11:44,459 Send it to me, I will give you all the creds 342 00:11:44,459 --> 00:11:47,375 in the world times one magillion. 343 00:11:47,375 --> 00:11:48,959 Build it and you will come. 344 00:11:48,959 --> 00:11:57,167 JAMES ARLEN: I did not say that. 345 00:11:57,167 --> 00:12:01,209 (Groaning) walked right into it. 346 00:12:01,667 --> 00:12:02,834 Can you do it? 347 00:12:02,834 --> 00:12:03,834 Can somebody do it? 348 00:12:03,834 --> 00:12:05,792 Is anybody better at scripting than me? 349 00:12:05,792 --> 00:12:07,459 Oh, you have a box that does that? 350 00:12:07,999 --> 00:12:09,999 You're going to make one for me. 351 00:12:09,999 --> 00:12:10,999 Fuck it. 352 00:12:10,999 --> 00:12:11,999 You rock. 353 00:12:11,999 --> 00:12:15,125 Can we offer him something congratulations and thank you? 354 00:12:15,751 --> 00:12:18,250 We have half done flap jacks. 355 00:12:18,999 --> 00:12:20,792 They're almost done. 356 00:12:20,792 --> 00:12:21,792 Okay. 357 00:12:22,375 --> 00:12:24,375 That's not beer man. 358 00:12:28,083 --> 00:12:34,959 Fucking close to water. 359 00:12:38,209 --> 00:12:40,250 Thank you so much. 360 00:12:40,250 --> 00:12:43,083 You can get a pancake. 361 00:12:45,209 --> 00:12:47,375 Put beer on the pancakes. 362 00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:58,417 We usually do. 363 00:12:58,417 --> 00:13:01,125 You're not going to put your tongue in my ear this year. 364 00:13:07,999 --> 00:13:19,626 There is no connection between the two. 365 00:13:19,626 --> 00:13:20,626 (off mic). 366 00:13:24,918 --> 00:13:25,999 Excellent. 367 00:13:28,792 --> 00:13:34,125 Let's hear it for carry over. 368 00:13:45,751 --> 00:13:54,999 All right, just waiting for the other side. 369 00:13:54,999 --> 00:14:00,751 I mentioned the box is looking empty, so I'm going 370 00:14:00,751 --> 00:14:03,918 to put $100 in it. 371 00:14:05,918 --> 00:14:11,999 That's a Canadian $5 bill which is worth $5 U.S. 372 00:14:12,125 --> 00:14:14,709 because of the economy. 373 00:14:15,083 --> 00:14:17,709 We have oil and wood we can sell you. 374 00:14:22,209 --> 00:14:25,999 It is a great value. 375 00:14:30,250 --> 00:14:32,292 It's butter flavored. 376 00:14:35,125 --> 00:14:37,999 For your nipples. 377 00:14:38,250 --> 00:14:42,709 I would like some butter for my nipples, please. 378 00:14:42,876 --> 00:14:45,584 Also can I get a little bit of syrup. 379 00:14:46,584 --> 00:14:50,292 So who is going to lick the butter and syrup off my nipples. 380 00:14:50,292 --> 00:14:52,584 Chocolate car caramel or strawberries. 381 00:14:56,083 --> 00:14:59,334 I don't want Canadians licking stuff off my nipples. 382 00:15:00,459 --> 00:15:02,167 I have standards. 383 00:15:12,125 --> 00:15:15,999 Word on slides on this side. 384 00:15:16,501 --> 00:15:18,083 Slides, schmides. 385 00:15:20,083 --> 00:15:22,083 They really want to see these. 386 00:15:24,375 --> 00:15:27,083 Everyone lean over that way so we can see slides. 387 00:15:27,083 --> 00:15:28,459 In an effort to get you guys moving 388 00:15:28,459 --> 00:15:32,083 along so you can hear from some other esteemed colleagues, 389 00:15:32,083 --> 00:15:36,667 we'll do slides on one side while they work on the other. 390 00:15:36,999 --> 00:15:38,250 Okay? 391 00:15:39,334 --> 00:15:41,959 Yeah, this should be on the fail panel, right? 392 00:15:41,959 --> 00:15:42,999 Projector fail. 393 00:15:44,667 --> 00:15:46,375 It's small. 394 00:15:46,375 --> 00:15:49,083 That's what she said. 395 00:15:49,083 --> 00:15:50,334 I've heard that before. 396 00:15:50,334 --> 00:15:52,292 Mostly from Rich though. 397 00:15:53,209 --> 00:15:54,626 All right. 398 00:15:54,999 --> 00:15:56,501 We're so scrooge'd. 399 00:15:56,834 --> 00:15:58,751 So a little by me. 400 00:15:58,751 --> 00:16:01,125 My name is Larry Pesce, and I'm a penetration tester, 401 00:16:01,125 --> 00:16:03,083 hardware hacker. 402 00:16:03,083 --> 00:16:05,167 I'm currently between jobs. 403 00:16:05,167 --> 00:16:06,834 So my employer was supposed to send me to DEF CON 404 00:16:06,834 --> 00:16:09,959 to come give this presentation as part of the fail panel and this 405 00:16:09,959 --> 00:16:13,792 is all stuff that I discovered while I was working for them. 406 00:16:13,792 --> 00:16:15,999 And they laid me off lost Monday. 407 00:16:18,709 --> 00:16:20,250 Boo. 408 00:16:20,250 --> 00:16:23,999 With an 8 week old baby at home and a 5 year old. 409 00:16:23,999 --> 00:16:29,334 But in any case, tweeted and all that good stuff that I got laid off. 410 00:16:29,334 --> 00:16:32,999 I got laid off at 10:30 in the morning and I had an offer letter by 7:00 p.m. 411 00:16:32,999 --> 00:16:34,167 (cheers and applause). 412 00:16:34,167 --> 00:16:35,167 For pornography? 413 00:16:35,167 --> 00:16:40,959 LARRY PESCE: It was. 414 00:16:40,959 --> 00:16:42,999 And I took it. 415 00:16:42,999 --> 00:16:46,709 Boy, did he ever take it! 416 00:16:46,709 --> 00:16:49,125 Where can you buy it? 417 00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:50,999 Uporn. 418 00:16:52,999 --> 00:16:55,334 Based on the fact I'm technically currently 419 00:16:55,334 --> 00:16:59,083 unemployed because I don't start with the other company for a month, 420 00:16:59,083 --> 00:17:01,918 I had to do redaction to protect the innocent and 421 00:17:01,918 --> 00:17:04,375 the fact that I can't afford a lawyer right now 422 00:17:04,375 --> 00:17:06,999 because I'm not getting paid. 423 00:17:06,999 --> 00:17:10,334 So donate a lot of money so he has a lower when he gets through. 424 00:17:10,459 --> 00:17:13,501 LARRY PESCE: To that former network guy. 425 00:17:15,459 --> 00:17:17,999 Certified instructor of the SANS institute. 426 00:17:18,167 --> 00:17:20,542 Member of the pauldotcom security group 427 00:17:20,542 --> 00:17:23,959 and also an extra cost HAM radio operator which 428 00:17:23,959 --> 00:17:28,083 is completely irrelevant to this presentation. 429 00:17:28,083 --> 00:17:29,959 Which means you have no sex life. 430 00:17:29,959 --> 00:17:31,292 LARRY PESCE: Right. 431 00:17:31,292 --> 00:17:32,999 I also have kids, right, Rich. 432 00:17:34,584 --> 00:17:37,584 What is this talk I'm going to talk about. 433 00:17:37,751 --> 00:17:40,083 I just changed jobs. 434 00:17:40,083 --> 00:17:41,083 Fuck. 435 00:17:41,083 --> 00:17:43,334 Really, again, and but I had just changed jobs 436 00:17:43,334 --> 00:17:45,999 into the energy sector. 437 00:17:45,999 --> 00:17:47,250 So you know, had been doing consulting 438 00:17:47,250 --> 00:17:49,918 for penetration testing in all sorts of industry 439 00:17:49,918 --> 00:17:52,626 but was now specifically tailored to just pen testing 440 00:17:52,626 --> 00:17:55,209 and hardware hacking in the energy sector which was 441 00:17:55,209 --> 00:17:57,918 a completely new thing for me. 442 00:17:57,918 --> 00:17:59,876 I'd never done any work in the energy sector so all sorts 443 00:17:59,876 --> 00:18:02,999 of new terms and things I had to understand. 444 00:18:03,667 --> 00:18:07,999 Whole new industry and on day one of my new job I was on a plane 445 00:18:07,999 --> 00:18:10,083 to a client site. 446 00:18:11,083 --> 00:18:12,334 Excellent. 447 00:18:12,709 --> 00:18:15,083 And I and after about six weeks, we find out we're going to come do 448 00:18:15,083 --> 00:18:16,918 the fail panel. 449 00:18:16,918 --> 00:18:18,209 What am I going to talk about? 450 00:18:18,209 --> 00:18:20,626 This is my impression of the energy sector, security 451 00:18:20,626 --> 00:18:24,999 in the energy sector after about six weeks on the job. 452 00:18:24,999 --> 00:18:26,626 And sort of why I think that. 453 00:18:26,876 --> 00:18:28,083 All right. 454 00:18:28,083 --> 00:18:29,999 So day two on the job. 455 00:18:29,999 --> 00:18:30,999 Hi. 456 00:18:30,999 --> 00:18:31,999 Howdy. 457 00:18:32,083 --> 00:18:33,083 Okay. 458 00:18:33,542 --> 00:18:35,083 So day two on the job. 459 00:18:35,417 --> 00:18:37,999 You don't mind if I rub back, right? 460 00:18:38,542 --> 00:18:40,375 No, oh, no. 461 00:18:40,501 --> 00:18:44,709 Do you now understand why we are the way we are? 462 00:18:44,709 --> 00:18:48,250 LARRY PESCE: Just wait. 463 00:18:48,250 --> 00:18:51,209 Wait, there's more, he slices, he dices. 464 00:18:51,209 --> 00:18:53,334 LARRY PESCE: There's more flap jacks. 465 00:18:53,334 --> 00:18:54,334 Yay. 466 00:18:54,959 --> 00:18:58,459 First time I ever saw naked man on wireless router was Larry. 467 00:18:58,667 --> 00:19:00,876 I have that picture. 468 00:19:03,334 --> 00:19:05,999 Did Bing it? 469 00:19:05,999 --> 00:19:07,876 You. 470 00:19:07,876 --> 00:19:08,250 LARRY PESCE: You have the picture but I have 471 00:19:08,250 --> 00:19:09,999 the life sized cutout. 472 00:19:11,834 --> 00:19:13,459 In the basement. 473 00:19:13,459 --> 00:19:14,959 And it has made many rounds around our house 474 00:19:14,959 --> 00:19:18,334 in various closets and the pantry and my daughter goes and opens 475 00:19:18,334 --> 00:19:21,999 the pantry and goes and closes the door and waits for Mommy to go 476 00:19:21,999 --> 00:19:23,751 to the pantry. 477 00:19:24,459 --> 00:19:27,292 Mommy, why isn't Daddy's router bigger? 478 00:19:27,292 --> 00:19:28,292 (Laughter). 479 00:19:28,292 --> 00:19:30,918 LARRY PESCE: Wow. 480 00:19:30,999 --> 00:19:31,999 Wow. 481 00:19:31,999 --> 00:19:33,459 I'm not going to touch that one. 482 00:19:33,459 --> 00:19:35,125 It was a Linksys. 483 00:19:35,125 --> 00:19:36,209 Yeah, small antenna. 484 00:19:36,209 --> 00:19:37,209 All right. 485 00:19:37,501 --> 00:19:39,999 So Very small gain. 486 00:19:42,250 --> 00:19:45,459 LARRY PESCE: Yeah, more than yours, though. 487 00:19:45,751 --> 00:19:47,083 That's all right. 488 00:19:47,209 --> 00:19:56,083 LARRY PESCE: See, I don't even feel it. 489 00:19:56,709 --> 00:20:00,042 In order to understand the reason I feel this whole energy 490 00:20:00,042 --> 00:20:04,876 sector security stuff is totally screwed, we need to understand AMI, 491 00:20:04,876 --> 00:20:07,999 advanced metering infrastructure. 492 00:20:07,999 --> 00:20:10,167 Not BIOS folks. 493 00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:13,083 I didn't know that on day 2 of my job either. 494 00:20:13,918 --> 00:20:17,501 Lots of new acronyms and stuff in the energy sector that I had no idea 495 00:20:17,501 --> 00:20:21,751 about and it took a little bit of explaining but that's okay. 496 00:20:22,125 --> 00:20:25,417 So let's understand a little bit about AMI. 497 00:20:25,417 --> 00:20:28,125 Speaking in general sort of terms, no particular vendor and those sorts 498 00:20:28,125 --> 00:20:29,792 of things. 499 00:20:29,792 --> 00:20:33,876 What we end up with is a meter on your house that reads 500 00:20:33,876 --> 00:20:36,375 usage, meterology. 501 00:20:36,501 --> 00:20:39,501 And that meterology now needs to be reported back to the provider, 502 00:20:39,501 --> 00:20:42,876 to the energy company so they know how much electricity you're 503 00:20:42,876 --> 00:20:45,709 using or how much gas you're using. 504 00:20:45,876 --> 00:20:49,250 So that metrology gets sent over a network over some sort 505 00:20:49,250 --> 00:20:53,125 of aggregation device and that aggregator connects back 506 00:20:53,125 --> 00:20:57,417 to the utility., which then connects to a system potentially 507 00:20:57,417 --> 00:21:00,876 in a DMZ which then the accounting folks connect 508 00:21:00,876 --> 00:21:03,999 to from their internal network. 509 00:21:03,999 --> 00:21:07,459 So now you can start following the path from a meter to a host 510 00:21:07,459 --> 00:21:09,999 on the internal network. 511 00:21:10,125 --> 00:21:11,417 Great. 512 00:21:11,459 --> 00:21:14,626 So What about these are not smart meters? 513 00:21:14,626 --> 00:21:15,959 These are actual meters? 514 00:21:15,959 --> 00:21:17,834 LARRY PESCE: And/or smart meters. 515 00:21:17,834 --> 00:21:20,626 It all depends on the type of device that are installed. 516 00:21:21,999 --> 00:21:24,999 Multiple different types of meters whether they be start 517 00:21:24,999 --> 00:21:27,999 or otherwise that have some type of wireless technology 518 00:21:27,999 --> 00:21:30,709 to contact this quote aggregator. 519 00:21:30,999 --> 00:21:35,292 The first week on the job I got to pen test one of the aggregators. 520 00:21:36,626 --> 00:21:38,626 So what did I find? 521 00:21:38,626 --> 00:21:41,876 Unfortunately, crossing your arms doesn't hide the boner. 522 00:21:46,083 --> 00:21:48,959 And tweet that in 2. 523 00:21:48,959 --> 00:21:49,959 All right. 524 00:21:49,959 --> 00:21:55,292 Real quick, how close will we get to Rich Mogull tonight speaking 525 00:21:55,292 --> 00:21:57,250 of boners. 526 00:21:57,250 --> 00:21:58,459 Take off your pants. 527 00:22:01,999 --> 00:22:03,792 Password, please. 528 00:22:03,792 --> 00:22:08,876 1, 2, 3, 4. 529 00:22:08,876 --> 00:22:09,876 Password 1. 530 00:22:09,876 --> 00:22:10,876 Password 1. 531 00:22:10,876 --> 00:22:11,876 I gotcha. 532 00:22:11,876 --> 00:22:12,876 We'll save that. 533 00:22:12,876 --> 00:22:15,999 We need to get more money out of the people before I drop trout. 534 00:22:15,999 --> 00:22:17,959 Isn't the password the same as trout. 535 00:22:17,959 --> 00:22:20,834 We crossed 500 in donations. 536 00:22:20,834 --> 00:22:22,999 Thank you, people, let's keep it going. 537 00:22:25,626 --> 00:22:31,999 Everybody, Rich Rich Rich Rich Rich Rich Rich! 538 00:22:31,999 --> 00:22:32,999 . 539 00:22:32,999 --> 00:22:39,083 I think your pants are worth a thousand dollars this year. 540 00:22:39,083 --> 00:22:40,999 I'm running for Congress. 541 00:22:45,125 --> 00:22:47,626 Everyone is a weiner. 542 00:22:47,626 --> 00:22:49,375 District 5 in Phoenix. 543 00:22:50,083 --> 00:22:53,083 All right. 544 00:22:53,083 --> 00:23:18,125 What do we get if we get a thousand dollars, Rich. 545 00:23:18,125 --> 00:23:19,334 He loses the shorts. 546 00:23:19,334 --> 00:23:21,999 We get to tie Dave to a chair with his pants down. 547 00:23:23,959 --> 00:23:25,501 Very good. 548 00:23:31,751 --> 00:23:33,125 There you go. 549 00:23:33,125 --> 00:23:38,999 I'm the only person in history that drops my pants 550 00:23:38,999 --> 00:23:42,334 at RSA and DEF CON. 551 00:23:44,083 --> 00:23:45,709 Multiple times. 552 00:23:45,709 --> 00:23:48,209 Anybody want pancakes, raise your hand. 553 00:23:48,751 --> 00:23:51,876 That's what she said. 554 00:23:51,876 --> 00:23:54,918 LARRY PESCE: All right, speaking of boners, 555 00:23:54,918 --> 00:24:00,834 the first aggregator device I got to test had Ethernet and external port 556 00:24:00,834 --> 00:24:03,292 accessible winning! 557 00:24:03,542 --> 00:24:06,459 however, the Ethernet was shut down. 558 00:24:06,626 --> 00:24:08,918 The password was on. 559 00:24:12,876 --> 00:24:15,999 Doing brute force against it wasn't going to work for us. 560 00:24:15,999 --> 00:24:17,999 So that was pretty good. 561 00:24:17,999 --> 00:24:20,417 However, we can still observe all the boot process and get all sorts 562 00:24:20,417 --> 00:24:23,125 of information about it via serial port and then we look 563 00:24:23,125 --> 00:24:25,667 and discover this other port. 564 00:24:25,999 --> 00:24:30,334 And yes, the boner police have come for you. 565 00:24:31,250 --> 00:24:35,334 So we open up the other port and there's an SD card inside. 566 00:24:36,626 --> 00:24:38,667 What can go wrong? 567 00:24:38,667 --> 00:24:40,999 This is a device hung on a telephone pole 12 feet 568 00:24:40,999 --> 00:24:44,125 up so you need an extension ladder. 569 00:24:46,834 --> 00:24:48,959 So great, SD card. 570 00:24:48,959 --> 00:24:50,417 But what the heck is on it? 571 00:24:50,417 --> 00:24:56,918 So the manual claims that it contains the operating system and configuration 572 00:24:56,918 --> 00:25:01,999 files for the device on a hidden file system. 573 00:25:08,250 --> 00:25:13,999 By the way, day 2 on the job, I remove the SD card and threw it 574 00:25:13,999 --> 00:25:15,876 in my Mac. 575 00:25:16,876 --> 00:25:21,375 It mounted or attempted to mount, didn't find any file systems. 576 00:25:21,375 --> 00:25:22,999 Crap, hidden file systems. 577 00:25:22,999 --> 00:25:23,999 How did they do that? 578 00:25:24,083 --> 00:25:27,999 I made a DD image of the SD card. 579 00:25:27,999 --> 00:25:32,375 Couldn't identify any of the images on the ISO image either. 580 00:25:32,375 --> 00:25:33,375 No big deal. 581 00:25:35,584 --> 00:25:40,083 I ran strings and found interesting stuff on what appeared 582 00:25:40,083 --> 00:25:45,999 to be configuration from the entire disk image in plain text. 583 00:25:46,501 --> 00:25:50,083 Great, hidden file system unencrypted. 584 00:25:51,792 --> 00:25:57,209 So I put the image on my own SD card, so as not to damage the original. 585 00:25:57,792 --> 00:25:59,083 Put it back. 586 00:25:59,834 --> 00:26:03,709 And moved the device over to my Linux workstation so I could 587 00:26:03,709 --> 00:26:06,167 attempt to play with it. 588 00:26:06,375 --> 00:26:08,999 And I plugged it in to about 204 system 589 00:26:08,999 --> 00:26:12,999 and it ought mounted 3ESX file systems. 590 00:26:13,083 --> 00:26:17,459 Wait, I thought it was hidden. 591 00:26:17,542 --> 00:26:19,876 On Windows it is. 592 00:26:30,959 --> 00:26:33,999 You realize if the vendor releases vulnerability, 593 00:26:33,999 --> 00:26:38,792 they'll say it's the hard to understand format so we're fine. 594 00:26:38,792 --> 00:26:40,083 LARRY PESCE: Yes. 595 00:26:40,083 --> 00:26:42,250 At least it's not proprietary. 596 00:26:43,083 --> 00:26:45,999 LARRY PESCE: Yeah, just you wait. 597 00:26:49,459 --> 00:26:53,709 I start going through the file system and search for configs. 598 00:26:53,792 --> 00:26:57,501 And I find that there's a running and a quote golden config. 599 00:26:57,959 --> 00:27:00,876 And when you change the running config on the SD card, 600 00:27:00,876 --> 00:27:05,125 it detects that changes were made and boots the golden config. 601 00:27:05,250 --> 00:27:07,501 So I changed both. 602 00:27:09,209 --> 00:27:11,918 I changed the running config. 603 00:27:11,999 --> 00:27:16,125 Modified that detectedded it was changed on the boot and started 604 00:27:16,125 --> 00:27:19,999 the golden config that I changed to my own user name 605 00:27:19,999 --> 00:27:24,083 and password and now I'm root on the system. 606 00:27:24,959 --> 00:27:27,292 And by the way, they were attempting to get away 607 00:27:27,292 --> 00:27:30,459 with being able to modify some of those files on that SD card 608 00:27:30,459 --> 00:27:32,999 by using Unix file permissions. 609 00:27:33,375 --> 00:27:35,083 So they were owned by root. 610 00:27:35,250 --> 00:27:36,876 But guess what? 611 00:27:36,876 --> 00:27:39,667 It's mounted on my file system and on my system as a file system 612 00:27:39,667 --> 00:27:42,417 and I am root on my file system so I have the right 613 00:27:42,417 --> 00:27:44,709 to change those files. 614 00:27:44,999 --> 00:27:45,999 So I did. 615 00:27:46,083 --> 00:27:49,501 Insert my SD card into the device, reboot it. 616 00:27:49,501 --> 00:27:51,999 And I now have a local user account on the device 617 00:27:51,999 --> 00:27:57,459 before tack accounting has to wait for the 3G connection to start. 618 00:27:57,918 --> 00:28:02,334 So I have full control of the device and the device contains Wi Fi access 619 00:28:02,334 --> 00:28:05,501 point which connects outbound over the 3G and 620 00:28:05,501 --> 00:28:09,999 because I configure it I can set up routing and offer free Wi Fi 621 00:28:09,999 --> 00:28:14,751 for everyone in the neighborhood, amongst other things. 622 00:28:14,959 --> 00:28:19,626 Excuse me, could you narrate the pictures on the slide? 623 00:28:19,626 --> 00:28:21,334 I feel like you're glossing over it. 624 00:28:21,334 --> 00:28:23,250 LARRY PESCE: Well that's the point. 625 00:28:23,667 --> 00:28:27,209 So the initial vendor response was oh, but you didn't use your high security 626 00:28:27,209 --> 00:28:30,167 mount for mounting this on the pole. 627 00:28:30,167 --> 00:28:31,209 Oh, you mean the one with will big hole 628 00:28:31,209 --> 00:28:34,584 in it so you can still gain access to the SD card slot? 629 00:28:34,999 --> 00:28:35,999 No. 630 00:28:35,999 --> 00:28:39,167 And aluminum that we can take out with a crowbar? 631 00:28:39,167 --> 00:28:40,167 Awesome. 632 00:28:40,167 --> 00:28:44,959 So we contacted the vendor through our client. 633 00:28:44,959 --> 00:28:46,250 And they said sure, how about we just put a password 634 00:28:46,250 --> 00:28:47,999 on the config file? 635 00:28:48,250 --> 00:28:51,209 I'm not exactly sure what they meant by that. 636 00:28:51,209 --> 00:28:54,417 But I don't think they were either. 637 00:28:54,417 --> 00:28:55,876 When you say you have a shortcoming 638 00:28:55,876 --> 00:29:00,083 in security knowledge you can't put a password on a file. 639 00:29:00,083 --> 00:29:01,250 LARRY PESCE: You can. 640 00:29:01,250 --> 00:29:02,459 But how are they going to start reading it and putting 641 00:29:02,459 --> 00:29:04,459 the password in memory. 642 00:29:04,459 --> 00:29:09,083 Just put it at the beginning of the file. 643 00:29:09,083 --> 00:29:11,083 So include the password in band. 644 00:29:11,083 --> 00:29:13,876 No one's talking about music yet, buddy. 645 00:29:13,876 --> 00:29:17,083 LARRY PESCE: Not yet. 646 00:29:18,709 --> 00:29:22,999 When we talk to the vendor, we said guys, that's really dumb. 647 00:29:22,999 --> 00:29:25,999 Vendor, how about we maybe work with you on a contract 648 00:29:25,999 --> 00:29:29,999 to test your stuff before you deliver it to customers? 649 00:29:29,999 --> 00:29:33,083 And they said oh, well we have a team that does that for us. 650 00:29:33,083 --> 00:29:34,250 An internal team. 651 00:29:34,751 --> 00:29:36,999 Yes, they must be awesome. 652 00:29:37,999 --> 00:29:41,709 If my calculations are correct, you suck. 653 00:29:41,709 --> 00:29:44,250 And yes, I bet you all read that in doc Brown's voice. 654 00:29:44,542 --> 00:29:45,542 Yeah. 655 00:29:45,542 --> 00:29:46,999 Titty sprinkles, right? 656 00:29:47,751 --> 00:29:49,083 All right. 657 00:29:49,083 --> 00:29:51,375 So I finished that. 658 00:29:51,626 --> 00:29:53,999 Engagement, spent a week back at home. 659 00:29:53,999 --> 00:29:58,459 My 10th day on the job, I'm back at another vendor or another customer. 660 00:29:58,667 --> 00:30:00,501 And I'm pen testing a different device 661 00:30:00,501 --> 00:30:05,501 from a different manufacturer but with similar type of function. 662 00:30:05,501 --> 00:30:07,834 So another one of these aggregator devices. 663 00:30:07,876 --> 00:30:10,083 This one was really well secured. 664 00:30:10,667 --> 00:30:15,542 Same thing for serial port, no exposed SD card Ethernet was fully 665 00:30:15,542 --> 00:30:17,334 shut down. 666 00:30:17,334 --> 00:30:19,417 You name it. 667 00:30:19,417 --> 00:30:22,709 But in due diligence to the customer, we asked them to login to the device 668 00:30:22,709 --> 00:30:25,876 for us and then we were going to review all the settings 669 00:30:25,876 --> 00:30:29,334 on the system and it was a Linux based system. 670 00:30:29,334 --> 00:30:31,792 So we wanted to review the Linux configure to see 671 00:30:31,792 --> 00:30:35,209 if there was anything they made mistakes. 672 00:30:35,417 --> 00:30:36,999 Go figure. 673 00:30:37,042 --> 00:30:40,834 So Unix based operating system. 674 00:30:40,834 --> 00:30:43,292 Serial and Ethernet were externally accessible. 675 00:30:43,626 --> 00:30:44,792 Once we logged in, we were taking a look 676 00:30:44,792 --> 00:30:47,334 to see what had been done for hardening. 677 00:30:47,876 --> 00:30:51,834 And the first one was distinct lack of SE shadows and 678 00:30:51,834 --> 00:30:54,959 all passwords were readable. 679 00:30:57,876 --> 00:30:59,459 Thank you. 680 00:31:00,999 --> 00:31:05,918 Yeah, so next, I'm like all right, let's do what I just did two weeks ago 681 00:31:05,918 --> 00:31:09,999 and see if I can get a DD image from the system. 682 00:31:10,417 --> 00:31:13,334 So I started trying to do DD over net cap. 683 00:31:13,459 --> 00:31:15,584 Unfortunately, the user I was logged 684 00:31:15,584 --> 00:31:19,667 into the device did not have read access to the entire file system so 685 00:31:19,667 --> 00:31:21,125 it failed. 686 00:31:21,667 --> 00:31:23,792 So I could not get my DD image to the local workstation 687 00:31:23,792 --> 00:31:26,999 after enabling Ethernet and all that good stuff. 688 00:31:27,083 --> 00:31:28,918 And it was also in 10 years of pen testing 689 00:31:28,918 --> 00:31:32,501 the first time I ever use the netcat in a pen test. 690 00:31:33,250 --> 00:31:36,626 Sorry, Ed. 691 00:31:36,626 --> 00:31:39,999 So I started looking around the operating system 692 00:31:39,999 --> 00:31:43,626 and find an application proxy. 693 00:31:44,375 --> 00:31:46,999 Which gives the user an ability to use commands 694 00:31:46,999 --> 00:31:50,999 from a nonprivileged account just like the one I had. 695 00:31:51,083 --> 00:31:57,792 This sounds like pseudo to me but it wasn't pseudo. 696 00:31:57,876 --> 00:32:00,959 So they kind of reinvented the wheel. 697 00:32:00,959 --> 00:32:01,959 Again. 698 00:32:01,959 --> 00:32:02,999 LARRY PESCE: Again. 699 00:32:02,999 --> 00:32:05,459 So the command has been obscured to protect 700 00:32:05,459 --> 00:32:09,918 the vendor so we start looking at the app proxy. 701 00:32:10,083 --> 00:32:13,584 The dash A gives us the level of access needed. 702 00:32:13,626 --> 00:32:14,626 Sweet. 703 00:32:14,999 --> 00:32:18,083 The dash C is the command we want to run from a white list 704 00:32:18,083 --> 00:32:20,292 of commands and the dash P gives us 705 00:32:20,292 --> 00:32:24,999 the command line options to set command in the white list. 706 00:32:24,999 --> 00:32:27,083 Did you guys see any authentication for using 707 00:32:27,083 --> 00:32:31,167 a potential system level command in that whole setup? 708 00:32:31,250 --> 00:32:33,083 Yeah, no, me neither. 709 00:32:33,250 --> 00:32:37,083 Didn't acquire additional name and password much like SUDU might, 710 00:32:37,083 --> 00:32:41,083 and granted access to the commands in the white list. 711 00:32:41,999 --> 00:32:44,709 Turned out that the dash P flag doesn't do sanity 712 00:32:44,709 --> 00:32:46,834 checks or filtering. 713 00:32:47,125 --> 00:32:48,626 (Laughter). 714 00:32:48,999 --> 00:32:52,125 So you pipe the output from one of those white listed commands 715 00:32:52,125 --> 00:32:55,250 like IP config to dev null and then you pipe another 716 00:32:55,250 --> 00:33:00,501 command that you want to do to it and it executes it happily as system. 717 00:33:03,876 --> 00:33:05,083 Yay! 718 00:33:08,417 --> 00:33:10,501 All right, so. 719 00:33:13,083 --> 00:33:18,999 So I get a copy image via netcat, via this privileged escalation 720 00:33:18,999 --> 00:33:25,626 and I start doing über link strings against the image and find a bunch 721 00:33:25,626 --> 00:33:31,501 of databases and database definitions that include commands such 722 00:33:31,501 --> 00:33:33,999 as create table. 723 00:33:33,999 --> 00:33:38,999 ID integer name text, salt text, password text, update date, date, 724 00:33:38,999 --> 00:33:41,626 and the primary key. 725 00:33:41,918 --> 00:33:43,250 Name salt and password. 726 00:33:43,250 --> 00:33:44,250 Great. 727 00:33:44,250 --> 00:33:50,751 So they're storing the password and the salt as text in the database. 728 00:33:51,626 --> 00:33:52,667 No! 729 00:33:53,334 --> 00:33:55,501 It just gets better. 730 00:33:55,542 --> 00:33:58,999 Now, that said, just pancakes? 731 00:34:00,626 --> 00:34:02,876 Anybody want pancakes. 732 00:34:02,876 --> 00:34:03,876 Flap jacks. 733 00:34:04,459 --> 00:34:06,959 Keep flapping those jacks. 734 00:34:07,417 --> 00:34:10,501 Raise your hand for pancakes! 735 00:34:10,501 --> 00:34:12,667 LARRY PESCE: Raise your hand. 736 00:34:12,999 --> 00:34:15,375 Keep them up. 737 00:34:15,375 --> 00:34:18,209 Wave money if you want pancakes. 738 00:34:18,209 --> 00:34:21,709 Wave something else if you want something else. 739 00:34:21,999 --> 00:34:24,709 Maynor still has his shirt on. 740 00:34:24,709 --> 00:34:26,250 Don't worry, he'll get it off. 741 00:34:26,250 --> 00:34:34,083 Another few hundred bucks and that will go. 742 00:34:34,083 --> 00:34:36,876 I had no idea what this database was for. 743 00:34:40,083 --> 00:34:42,999 Now I have access to the entire image. 744 00:34:42,999 --> 00:34:44,417 Access to the databases. 745 00:34:44,417 --> 00:34:45,417 That feels good. 746 00:34:45,417 --> 00:34:46,751 I'm from the vendor. 747 00:34:46,751 --> 00:34:48,999 I'm to make sure you don't complete this talk. 748 00:34:48,999 --> 00:34:51,626 LARRY PESCE: Nice, vendor response on this one. 749 00:34:51,709 --> 00:34:54,417 We're still waiting and well, I don't work there any more so I'll 750 00:34:54,417 --> 00:34:58,584 probably never find out what the response from the vendor was. 751 00:34:59,999 --> 00:35:04,083 I'm wondering why they ran out of D on their salad sign though. 752 00:35:05,167 --> 00:35:09,584 Try our Asian salad and they couldn't find the capital D so 753 00:35:09,584 --> 00:35:11,999 they had to use the upside down P. 754 00:35:11,999 --> 00:35:13,999 I don't know. 755 00:35:15,375 --> 00:35:17,209 Here's the final fail. 756 00:35:17,209 --> 00:35:19,334 Who wants pancakes. 757 00:35:19,375 --> 00:35:20,375 What? 758 00:35:20,375 --> 00:35:21,375 Too much? 759 00:35:25,250 --> 00:35:37,334 You can tell how many people here are not parents. 760 00:35:37,334 --> 00:35:42,125 LARRY PESCE: Yes, that's nothing if you're a parent, right? 761 00:35:42,125 --> 00:35:44,999 Except that the ass is a little bit bigger. 762 00:35:45,334 --> 00:35:46,709 All right. 763 00:35:46,709 --> 00:35:48,999 So this one was pointed out to me by my former boss who asked not 764 00:35:48,999 --> 00:35:50,667 to be named. 765 00:35:50,999 --> 00:35:53,999 So I asked for some help figuring out some information about utilities 766 00:35:53,999 --> 00:35:56,542 and pictures and all that type of stuff. 767 00:35:56,542 --> 00:36:01,834 And he sent me to Flickr for a interesting government agency 768 00:36:01,834 --> 00:36:06,083 that supports energy in Tennessee. 769 00:36:06,375 --> 00:36:09,083 And I will leave it at that. 770 00:36:09,542 --> 00:36:11,751 And these did get reported to said government agency and 771 00:36:11,751 --> 00:36:14,834 they removed them from their Flickr stream. 772 00:36:15,375 --> 00:36:18,834 However, you know that saying with some creep has got a copy 773 00:36:18,834 --> 00:36:21,417 of everything on the Internet? 774 00:36:21,626 --> 00:36:23,626 Yeah, sometimes that creep is me. 775 00:36:23,626 --> 00:36:26,334 So once they already removed them, I still had copies. 776 00:36:26,334 --> 00:36:28,834 Once it's on the Internet, it's already there. 777 00:36:28,834 --> 00:36:29,834 You guys know that. 778 00:36:29,834 --> 00:36:31,999 So let's look at this particular case study. 779 00:36:31,999 --> 00:36:32,250 So here's a picture from their Flickr stream 780 00:36:32,250 --> 00:36:34,375 for marketing purposes. 781 00:36:36,375 --> 00:36:38,209 It gets better. 782 00:36:38,209 --> 00:36:42,709 I'll call out specific things for you. 783 00:36:42,709 --> 00:36:44,292 Weave got a picture of a badge. 784 00:36:47,501 --> 00:36:51,584 We've got security video cameras and we can potentially gather locations 785 00:36:51,584 --> 00:36:55,999 and we have a gentleman by the name of Rick's phone number. 786 00:36:56,626 --> 00:36:57,999 Two of them. 787 00:36:57,999 --> 00:37:00,459 You also have this nifty red jacket right here. 788 00:37:00,459 --> 00:37:01,584 Is that members only? 789 00:37:01,584 --> 00:37:03,083 Might be. 790 00:37:03,083 --> 00:37:05,876 So you found the most advanced power plant 791 00:37:05,876 --> 00:37:09,792 in North America because they're on XP. 792 00:37:09,792 --> 00:37:11,083 Yes. 793 00:37:13,125 --> 00:37:16,292 If anybody thinks I'm joking, I'm not. 794 00:37:18,083 --> 00:37:20,375 There was another picture. 795 00:37:24,834 --> 00:37:26,083 Yep. 796 00:37:26,626 --> 00:37:30,417 LARRY PESCE: So there's a flyaway book 797 00:37:30,417 --> 00:37:34,584 is their DR plan underneath a box of tissues 798 00:37:34,584 --> 00:37:38,999 because apparently it makes them cry. 799 00:37:39,375 --> 00:37:42,083 Is it crying that the tissues are for? 800 00:37:42,083 --> 00:37:44,459 Yeah, definitely not the other one, Dave. 801 00:37:44,459 --> 00:37:45,459 Trust me. 802 00:37:45,751 --> 00:37:49,999 We've got XP in the background on cube well and XP and what appears 803 00:37:49,999 --> 00:37:51,667 to be IE7. 804 00:37:52,751 --> 00:37:54,459 We've also got. 805 00:37:54,459 --> 00:37:56,626 Is that a testing valid authority. 806 00:37:56,667 --> 00:38:01,834 Seriously, most advanced control room I've seen. 807 00:38:03,125 --> 00:38:08,083 LARRY PESCE: This fine lady is taking a picture. 808 00:38:09,918 --> 00:38:12,792 There are three monitors connected to the system. 809 00:38:12,792 --> 00:38:13,834 How can I tell? 810 00:38:14,626 --> 00:38:17,334 The background was customized by her to be 811 00:38:17,334 --> 00:38:21,834 a family and we see a picture legs at the bottom and it is the same 812 00:38:21,834 --> 00:38:25,209 on two monitors so those are on the same system using 813 00:38:25,209 --> 00:38:28,083 the same Windows backgrounds. 814 00:38:28,083 --> 00:38:30,959 I don't know what that is. 815 00:38:30,959 --> 00:38:33,417 But it looks like there's some sort of plant control or plant monitoring 816 00:38:33,417 --> 00:38:35,751 software on one workstation. 817 00:38:35,999 --> 00:38:38,334 I didn't we're running Don't want to rub it 818 00:38:38,334 --> 00:38:40,999 in too much LARRY PESCE: But we're doing some sort 819 00:38:40,999 --> 00:38:44,083 of plant control and monitoring on a machine that has access 820 00:38:44,083 --> 00:38:45,709 to outlook. 821 00:38:48,667 --> 00:38:50,501 And Office. 822 00:38:51,417 --> 00:38:53,459 That's kind of sketchy. 823 00:38:53,459 --> 00:38:57,209 Most advanced power plant in the country! 824 00:38:58,083 --> 00:39:01,125 Did you see there's a clock up here LARRY PESCE: I did. 825 00:39:01,125 --> 00:39:02,334 But it's analog. 826 00:39:02,334 --> 00:39:03,876 LARRY PESCE: Yes. 827 00:39:03,876 --> 00:39:06,876 That means there's probably nothing we can do with that. 828 00:39:06,876 --> 00:39:08,709 LARRY PESCE: Except tell the time. 829 00:39:08,709 --> 00:39:11,792 It's guaranteed incorrect relative to the grid. 830 00:39:12,834 --> 00:39:17,876 Seriously, like you need to use something better than NTP. 831 00:39:17,876 --> 00:39:21,584 You want to find a cesium clock source, find a power control room. 832 00:39:21,584 --> 00:39:22,584 They'll have two. 833 00:39:22,751 --> 00:39:24,542 And they're using a battery powered clock 834 00:39:24,542 --> 00:39:27,209 on the wall they got from IKEA. 835 00:39:27,999 --> 00:39:31,250 They have cesium sourced time. 836 00:39:31,501 --> 00:39:34,792 And they're using a battery powered clock from IKEA. 837 00:39:36,083 --> 00:39:38,209 Or Wal Mart or whatever. 838 00:39:38,209 --> 00:39:41,626 LARRY PESCE: And you zoom into this particular pick this 839 00:39:41,626 --> 00:39:43,876 is Microsoft Word. 840 00:39:50,375 --> 00:39:55,334 So based on my six weeks of experience, we are so screwed. 841 00:39:55,334 --> 00:39:57,083 Because we're in an industry that we're starting 842 00:39:57,083 --> 00:40:01,375 to tell them you guys need to start at the beginning and stuff. 843 00:40:01,375 --> 00:40:05,999 By practicing defense and depth 2003 called and think want their 844 00:40:05,999 --> 00:40:07,999 security back. 845 00:40:10,167 --> 00:40:14,375 Last year I brought you Afro circus to make everything better. 846 00:40:16,918 --> 00:40:20,125 I don't have anything quite as bad as Afro circus. 847 00:40:20,125 --> 00:40:22,999 I'm not going to plant the ear wig for you guys this year. 848 00:40:22,999 --> 00:40:25,584 However, I do have some dead mouse for you. 849 00:40:25,709 --> 00:40:28,999 But it's not going to be the ear wig that I plant. 850 00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:30,999 It's the eye wig. 851 00:40:31,209 --> 00:40:35,918 To make it all better Wait, wait, anyone want pancakes LARRY 852 00:40:35,918 --> 00:40:39,542 PESCE: You'll want pancakes after this. 853 00:40:39,999 --> 00:40:42,000 You do not want the dry heaves. 854 00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:45,083 You'll want something to throw up. 855 00:40:45,083 --> 00:40:47,083 Because dead mouse is always better. 856 00:40:47,083 --> 00:40:48,626 When cats throw up to techno. 857 00:40:48,626 --> 00:40:50,083 Pgh LARRY PESCE: Wait for it. 858 00:40:50,083 --> 00:40:51,083 Wait for it. 859 00:40:51,083 --> 00:40:52,792 Give it up for Barnaby, please. 860 00:40:52,792 --> 00:40:56,000 Dude, I think I saw this guy at one of the DEF CON parties last night. 861 00:41:15,542 --> 00:41:26,083 Wait for it, wait for it. 862 00:41:38,709 --> 00:41:42,083 Don't worry, this is not the 10 hour video. 863 00:41:44,918 --> 00:41:47,959 ¯ yes, I'm going to play the whole thing. 864 00:41:48,083 --> 00:41:51,083 Flap jacks, anyone. 865 00:41:51,375 --> 00:41:59,083 How long did you spend collecting these videos? 866 00:41:59,417 --> 00:42:01,542 YouTube. 867 00:42:01,918 --> 00:42:06,918 LARRY PESCE: Here comes the money shot! 868 00:42:06,918 --> 00:42:07,918 Cats throwing up to techno always makes 869 00:42:07,918 --> 00:42:09,834 everything better. 870 00:42:10,999 --> 00:42:14,876 Guys want to see that again? 871 00:42:16,167 --> 00:42:17,626 All right. 872 00:42:17,626 --> 00:42:18,999 So with that, who's next. 873 00:42:19,334 --> 00:42:24,626 Are we missing Mr. Rob Graham. 874 00:42:24,626 --> 00:42:25,999 Mr. Rob Graham to the podium. 875 00:42:25,999 --> 00:42:26,999 Larry! 876 00:42:27,083 --> 00:42:28,083 ,! 877 00:42:28,417 --> 00:42:30,375 Do you need my delay port adapter. 878 00:42:32,083 --> 00:42:33,918 We all need it. 879 00:42:33,918 --> 00:42:34,999 We need what you got. 880 00:42:35,209 --> 00:42:39,125 LARRY PESCE: Thank you very much. 881 00:42:44,959 --> 00:42:47,083 (Applause.) You guys will never listen to dead mouse 882 00:42:47,083 --> 00:42:48,999 the same way again. 883 00:42:49,083 --> 00:42:52,209 If we ever did to begin with. 884 00:42:52,209 --> 00:42:53,292 While Rob makes his way to the podium, I'd 885 00:42:53,292 --> 00:42:56,292 like to give you some background about Rob. 886 00:42:56,999 --> 00:42:58,999 He's somewhat of a cheater. 887 00:42:58,999 --> 00:43:00,501 He broke the rules. 888 00:43:00,501 --> 00:43:03,999 We all, like normal people, do our presentations 5 889 00:43:03,999 --> 00:43:07,375 to 15 minutes before this panel. 890 00:43:07,375 --> 00:43:10,999 Rob did his last week at home before he even got on a plane 891 00:43:10,999 --> 00:43:12,918 to come here. 892 00:43:13,083 --> 00:43:15,792 So don't be amazed at anything he talks about. 893 00:43:15,792 --> 00:43:18,959 It was all done a week ago. 894 00:43:18,999 --> 00:43:22,751 I didn't even pick a topic until I got here. 895 00:43:22,999 --> 00:43:25,959 ROB GRAHAM: It's true. 896 00:43:25,959 --> 00:43:28,999 We're talking Rich to my right. 897 00:43:28,999 --> 00:43:31,209 No, I'm not Rich. 898 00:43:32,459 --> 00:43:34,959 That's why you're looking at my chest. 899 00:43:36,999 --> 00:43:43,626 How much money do we have and what part Rich's clothes are 900 00:43:43,626 --> 00:43:46,292 coming off next? 901 00:43:46,292 --> 00:43:47,751 Rich, seriously, we're in the speaker room 902 00:43:47,751 --> 00:43:50,999 about an hour before the talk and we're just saying what should 903 00:43:50,999 --> 00:43:52,459 I present? 904 00:43:54,083 --> 00:43:57,167 And then he was right here a few minutes ago. 905 00:43:57,751 --> 00:44:00,209 Furiously putting to the slides. 906 00:44:00,209 --> 00:44:01,459 Just a together slides. 907 00:44:01,459 --> 00:44:02,999 Just a quick update. 908 00:44:02,999 --> 00:44:06,209 We've raised about a thousand so far. 909 00:44:06,209 --> 00:44:12,834 (Applause.) That's 500 for Barnaby's family, 500 for EFF. 910 00:44:12,999 --> 00:44:14,959 Give until it hurts. 911 00:44:14,959 --> 00:44:16,959 Although actually, Barnaby's family. 912 00:44:16,959 --> 00:44:17,959 EFF. 913 00:44:17,959 --> 00:44:22,250 Home in New Zealand and give until it hurts even though we're making 914 00:44:22,250 --> 00:44:24,876 you hurt up here. 915 00:44:27,709 --> 00:44:29,375 Hey, Jack, don't go away. 916 00:44:29,542 --> 00:44:30,999 Because you know what? 917 00:44:30,999 --> 00:44:31,999 I don't have a job technically because I don't have start 918 00:44:31,999 --> 00:44:33,918 until the end of the month. 919 00:44:33,918 --> 00:44:34,959 But you know what? 920 00:44:35,709 --> 00:44:37,167 Here's 100 bucks. 921 00:44:54,125 --> 00:44:56,334 (cheers and applause). 922 00:44:56,834 --> 00:44:59,083 Would somebody go out in the hallway? 923 00:44:59,083 --> 00:45:01,167 There's like 100 people out there who didn't get the call 924 00:45:01,167 --> 00:45:03,083 to get more money. 925 00:45:03,083 --> 00:45:04,459 Can we yell it louder. 926 00:45:05,501 --> 00:45:10,250 We've got a teensy tiensee people, and there are a lot 927 00:45:10,250 --> 00:45:14,501 of people who want to see you're on. 928 00:45:17,751 --> 00:45:19,834 These are the panel rooms. 929 00:45:27,834 --> 00:45:32,709 I think we all know what this picture is. 930 00:45:32,709 --> 00:45:35,250 It's a gold plated fiberoptic panel. 931 00:45:37,709 --> 00:45:40,959 So this is a monster.com cable. 932 00:45:40,959 --> 00:45:42,999 They'll charge you 150 bucks for it and it's better than 933 00:45:42,999 --> 00:45:45,751 the two dollar cables because it's got gold plating 934 00:45:45,751 --> 00:45:49,834 to make sure that the fiber option connection is better. 935 00:45:49,834 --> 00:45:53,542 But Rob, what does gold have to do with fiberoptics. 936 00:45:53,667 --> 00:45:55,918 Oxygen free. 937 00:45:56,209 --> 00:46:00,250 Lead free probably and environmentally sound. 938 00:46:01,417 --> 00:46:05,959 And we all know the monster company, the marketing around this 939 00:46:05,959 --> 00:46:10,125 is that it's it gives superior life like sound. 940 00:46:10,667 --> 00:46:13,999 But this is a digital cable. 941 00:46:14,125 --> 00:46:16,999 Bits that go in are the same bits that go out. 942 00:46:17,167 --> 00:46:20,999 As long as that condition is true, every cable is equal. 943 00:46:20,999 --> 00:46:23,626 You can't add to the digital signal. 944 00:46:24,999 --> 00:46:26,542 Monster can. 945 00:46:26,542 --> 00:46:28,959 Oxygen free cable. 946 00:46:28,999 --> 00:46:30,834 Please, marketing. 947 00:46:30,834 --> 00:46:33,834 But Rob, what does gold have to do with fiberoptics? 948 00:46:33,834 --> 00:46:38,083 ROB GRAHAM: I don't know. 949 00:46:38,292 --> 00:46:40,999 So this is digital astrology. 950 00:46:40,999 --> 00:46:42,999 Somehow we can add to the bits. 951 00:46:43,542 --> 00:46:47,167 There's some magical mysticism we can add to the bits. 952 00:46:47,167 --> 00:46:51,209 We laugh at monster but we don't laugh at television sets. 953 00:46:51,584 --> 00:46:55,250 We laugh at Costco or Best Buy and go down the aisle 954 00:46:55,250 --> 00:46:59,999 of television sets and pick the prettiest one. 955 00:47:01,292 --> 00:47:03,959 But in the old days, I guess in analog TV 956 00:47:03,959 --> 00:47:07,999 by the old days I meant before half of us were born, TVs were analog 957 00:47:07,999 --> 00:47:10,999 and yeah, there was adjustments you could make 958 00:47:10,999 --> 00:47:13,375 to the TV to fix things. 959 00:47:13,667 --> 00:47:16,209 But with digital TV, it's digital. 960 00:47:16,209 --> 00:47:18,334 Same concept as monster cable. 961 00:47:18,959 --> 00:47:20,334 Bits in. 962 00:47:20,334 --> 00:47:22,959 It's 24 frames per second. 963 00:47:24,584 --> 00:47:30,999 It's 1080p or 780i or 24 bits per pixel. 964 00:47:30,999 --> 00:47:32,334 And that's the color. 965 00:47:32,709 --> 00:47:35,999 Any adjustment you make on that is degrading color you're not 966 00:47:35,999 --> 00:47:37,584 improving it. 967 00:47:38,584 --> 00:47:41,167 So digital is digital. 968 00:47:41,167 --> 00:47:44,501 Anything that does to make a vibrant optimized contrast 969 00:47:44,501 --> 00:47:48,083 and color is making the picture worse. 970 00:47:48,083 --> 00:47:51,584 And that's why you get these TVs home and you have nice pretty showroom 971 00:47:51,584 --> 00:47:54,918 you have nice pretty pictures with lots of colors and colors 972 00:47:54,918 --> 00:47:57,999 is really vibrant and you really like it. 973 00:47:57,999 --> 00:47:59,918 But then you get home and try to watch TV 974 00:47:59,918 --> 00:48:02,459 on it and everything is crap. 975 00:48:02,459 --> 00:48:05,751 Like you're watching Star Wars and Darth Vader is a black blob 976 00:48:05,751 --> 00:48:10,584 and Luke is a white blob and all the colors are saturated. 977 00:48:10,584 --> 00:48:11,999 And that's just racist! 978 00:48:11,999 --> 00:48:16,125 Can you get prescription Google Glasses, please? 979 00:48:16,125 --> 00:48:18,501 Obviously you're not sitting close enough. 980 00:48:18,501 --> 00:48:21,999 ROB GRAHAM: And So But Rob, what does fiber optics have 981 00:48:21,999 --> 00:48:24,083 to do with gold? 982 00:48:26,292 --> 00:48:31,626 You watch directly and you can see the folds in Darth Vader's robes, 983 00:48:31,626 --> 00:48:37,083 you watch the same movie on TV and you can't see the details. 984 00:48:37,083 --> 00:48:39,417 It pisses me off because I've bought two TVs 985 00:48:39,417 --> 00:48:43,542 because no matter how many settings I've gone to I can't get 986 00:48:43,542 --> 00:48:46,876 to what a computer monitor shows. 987 00:48:46,876 --> 00:48:48,999 So the factory defaults are wrong. 988 00:48:49,999 --> 00:48:53,083 That's the color and contrast and the sharpness and 989 00:48:53,083 --> 00:48:58,501 all this other nasty stuff that they've distorted the digital signal. 990 00:48:58,501 --> 00:49:02,083 Maybe you need different cable. 991 00:49:02,083 --> 00:49:12,999 ROB GRAHAM: It looked great in the store because I bought it, right. 992 00:49:12,999 --> 00:49:15,584 There's a company called eColor that produces, in case 993 00:49:15,584 --> 00:49:19,459 all the distortion already on your digital TV is not enough, 994 00:49:19,459 --> 00:49:22,709 they'll sell you a box to do more. 995 00:49:31,999 --> 00:49:36,083 Preserving simple device with HDMI in and HDMI out just going 996 00:49:36,083 --> 00:49:38,999 through algorithms on SPCA. 997 00:49:39,584 --> 00:49:40,999 It's digital. 998 00:49:40,999 --> 00:49:43,417 Mathematical stuff on SVGA and you're great. 999 00:49:43,792 --> 00:49:48,083 But Rob, what does gold have to do with fiberoptics? 1000 00:49:48,083 --> 00:49:56,083 ROB GRAHAM: So I'm here to liberate the chips. 1001 00:49:56,083 --> 00:49:57,999 You have SPJs in service of evil. 1002 00:49:58,083 --> 00:50:00,375 So I want to liberate the chips. 1003 00:50:01,209 --> 00:50:03,999 So now I'm going to do that and grab actually, 1004 00:50:03,999 --> 00:50:06,250 can you grab this thing. 1005 00:50:06,250 --> 00:50:08,999 That's what she said. 1006 00:50:08,999 --> 00:50:09,999 This is the box. 1007 00:50:09,999 --> 00:50:10,999 You go on to Amazon. 1008 00:50:12,876 --> 00:50:17,584 The chip is a $50 chip but since these things suck 1009 00:50:17,584 --> 00:50:22,918 and only morons buy them, you can get them used on eBay 1010 00:50:22,918 --> 00:50:26,375 or close on Amazon for $10. 1011 00:50:26,501 --> 00:50:31,042 So I've got three boxes for $10 each. 1012 00:50:31,042 --> 00:50:34,999 It has a button. 1013 00:50:34,999 --> 00:50:39,000 There's all this crap in here and stuff. 1014 00:50:39,083 --> 00:50:41,876 You don't want any of this crap. 1015 00:50:42,083 --> 00:50:45,834 You've got the device, you've got power supply. 1016 00:50:45,959 --> 00:50:48,000 The little remote control. 1017 00:50:48,083 --> 00:50:49,083 The box. 1018 00:50:50,167 --> 00:50:51,999 So yeah, you have the device here and it comes 1019 00:50:51,999 --> 00:50:53,834 with a little protective plastic because you want 1020 00:50:53,834 --> 00:50:55,999 to keep it pretty because it sucks. 1021 00:50:57,667 --> 00:51:00,459 You got your little power supply and the power supply you sort of need 1022 00:51:00,459 --> 00:51:02,999 and you don't need this other crap. 1023 00:51:03,626 --> 00:51:06,292 So this device, I spent a long time trying to get 1024 00:51:06,292 --> 00:51:09,751 the case open so I could actually preserve the case but it's 1025 00:51:09,751 --> 00:51:11,834 all glued together. 1026 00:51:11,834 --> 00:51:13,999 So you just have to break it. 1027 00:51:13,999 --> 00:51:16,417 Once you break it, it doesn't go back together. 1028 00:51:16,417 --> 00:51:23,083 It's just broken. 1029 00:51:23,083 --> 00:51:24,083 (Laughter). 1030 00:51:24,083 --> 00:51:27,709 So you have this device and what you have it's really hard 1031 00:51:27,709 --> 00:51:33,999 to see so I'm going to try to use the display here, photo booth. 1032 00:51:33,999 --> 00:51:34,999 Let's try this. 1033 00:51:35,083 --> 00:51:38,125 So you can see there's three chips on this. 1034 00:51:38,334 --> 00:51:42,375 There's HDMI in and out and there's FPGA in the middle. 1035 00:51:42,999 --> 00:51:46,375 Now as hackers, what we know is that every device 1036 00:51:46,375 --> 00:51:49,709 in the world has a daytime debugging port on it 1037 00:51:49,709 --> 00:51:53,751 and usually first thing we do to grab device is go hunting 1038 00:51:53,751 --> 00:51:59,584 for chip pads, pads on mother board to go solder our connectors on it. 1039 00:51:59,626 --> 00:52:04,459 But these guys you can see they already have 1040 00:52:04,459 --> 00:52:08,542 the Jtag interface on it. 1041 00:52:08,542 --> 00:52:09,542 So that's awesome. 1042 00:52:09,542 --> 00:52:12,250 But Rob, what does gold have to do with fiberoptics. 1043 00:52:12,250 --> 00:52:16,542 ROB GRAHAM: These are gold plated for enhanced sound. 1044 00:52:17,709 --> 00:52:18,999 (Laughter). 1045 00:52:20,083 --> 00:52:23,584 So what we're going to do is can we have J tag which means 1046 00:52:23,584 --> 00:52:26,167 a back door to the FPJ chip. 1047 00:52:26,999 --> 00:52:30,083 Can you plug this in to power supply? 1048 00:52:48,834 --> 00:52:50,999 This is nice, powered up. 1049 00:52:51,125 --> 00:52:52,459 Another notebook. 1050 00:52:54,417 --> 00:52:55,999 There's a camera. 1051 00:53:00,959 --> 00:53:02,083 Anthony weiner. 1052 00:53:02,083 --> 00:53:03,083 BOOS. 1053 00:53:03,083 --> 00:53:12,375 Anthony Weiner's name will stop electronics. 1054 00:53:20,792 --> 00:53:26,083 It's probably gold plated too. 1055 00:53:26,083 --> 00:53:30,999 Really he'll show us his tinker bell. 1056 00:53:31,999 --> 00:53:36,999 And yes, that's what the kids recalling it. 1057 00:53:36,999 --> 00:53:38,999 For those new in the room, welcome. 1058 00:53:38,999 --> 00:53:42,584 Bring money down here, get your flap jacks over there. 1059 00:53:42,584 --> 00:53:45,999 It's not like you're giving money away. 1060 00:53:45,999 --> 00:53:47,792 Bring the money over here. 1061 00:53:49,999 --> 00:53:53,999 The money is going half half the money donated today is going 1062 00:53:53,999 --> 00:53:59,292 to Barnaby Jack's family and the other half is going to the EFF. 1063 00:53:59,542 --> 00:54:02,959 To be more specific it's Barnaby Jack's family is trying 1064 00:54:02,959 --> 00:54:04,999 to fly him home to New Zealand which 1065 00:54:04,999 --> 00:54:07,250 is where he's from and is really expensive 1066 00:54:07,250 --> 00:54:09,709 if you didn't know that. 1067 00:54:23,918 --> 00:54:25,209 Line up! 1068 00:54:25,999 --> 00:54:29,999 Standard J tag dongle. 1069 00:54:30,167 --> 00:54:31,999 USB port. 1070 00:54:31,999 --> 00:54:36,999 Rob, did you say dongle? 1071 00:54:36,999 --> 00:54:41,375 My flower is still down. 1072 00:54:43,626 --> 00:54:45,999 Get to the back door. 1073 00:54:45,999 --> 00:54:47,834 So we don't care about the HDME interface 1074 00:54:47,834 --> 00:54:51,999 or whatever this device is other than it's evil. 1075 00:54:52,125 --> 00:54:54,083 And we need to expunge the spirit. 1076 00:54:55,417 --> 00:54:59,125 So we just so I've downloaded the AlterraSPGA software so 1077 00:54:59,125 --> 00:55:02,959 all I need to do is connect up the chip. 1078 00:55:03,999 --> 00:55:13,999 Scan the bus through the device and then upload it. 1079 00:55:13,999 --> 00:55:15,125 What's the upload key? 1080 00:55:15,125 --> 00:55:17,209 It's his first time. 1081 00:55:17,584 --> 00:55:20,083 He's never presented before. 1082 00:55:20,083 --> 00:55:23,501 He won't remember what it's like and won't want to do it again. 1083 00:55:23,501 --> 00:55:26,999 ROB GRAHAM: I practiced this, that's what Dave was talking about. 1084 00:55:26,999 --> 00:55:29,501 I practiced it to make sure I was getting it right. 1085 00:55:29,501 --> 00:55:31,250 And you no, I can't even find the key. 1086 00:55:31,250 --> 00:55:32,417 Donations welcome. 1087 00:55:32,417 --> 00:55:36,083 We can't give you beer for in Vegas 1088 00:55:36,083 --> 00:55:41,292 for some really weird money. 1089 00:55:41,292 --> 00:55:42,375 We can give you sex. 1090 00:55:42,375 --> 00:55:49,083 But we can give you beer and randomly donate money next to us. 1091 00:55:49,083 --> 00:55:51,542 Michelle, it's American beer so it is water. 1092 00:55:55,459 --> 00:55:58,417 Guys on the street meet for me. 1093 00:56:04,083 --> 00:56:06,292 I will not throw beer. 1094 00:56:15,459 --> 00:56:21,959 ROB GRAHAM: I practiced for two weeks well, two weeks ago. 1095 00:56:24,209 --> 00:56:26,083 That's what he said. 1096 00:56:26,083 --> 00:56:29,083 ROB GRAHAM: And application all ready to go. 1097 00:56:29,083 --> 00:56:30,167 All I do is plug it in. 1098 00:56:30,167 --> 00:56:32,125 How's that working out for you? 1099 00:56:32,125 --> 00:56:35,626 But Rob, what does gold have to do with fiberoptics. 1100 00:56:44,083 --> 00:56:48,999 If you need a pancake, Jason has some. 1101 00:56:48,999 --> 00:56:49,999 Raise your hand. 1102 00:56:50,083 --> 00:56:52,459 I'm a technical analyst. 1103 00:56:54,709 --> 00:57:00,083 ROB GRAHAM: So I had to plug it in the right way around. 1104 00:57:00,334 --> 00:57:02,834 That's what he said. 1105 00:57:06,834 --> 00:57:10,542 We connected to the device, identified the FPGA chip 1106 00:57:10,542 --> 00:57:13,083 and model number here. 1107 00:57:13,209 --> 00:57:18,626 I downloaded this SOF file, that's the FPGA description from the Internet. 1108 00:57:18,626 --> 00:57:20,792 There's a project up on github that has 1109 00:57:20,792 --> 00:57:26,834 all the bit point mining software that can just download to the FPGA. 1110 00:57:30,125 --> 00:57:33,083 So now I'm downloading it and we'll see if it works. 1111 00:57:34,999 --> 00:57:38,999 Usually does it the first time you actually hit twice. 1112 00:57:38,999 --> 00:57:39,999 I don't know why. 1113 00:57:39,999 --> 00:57:44,999 Play with it a jiggle it around. 1114 00:57:44,999 --> 00:57:46,250 Play with your dongle. 1115 00:57:46,250 --> 00:57:47,709 Show a video of the skirt. 1116 00:57:47,709 --> 00:57:48,709 Wait, what? 1117 00:57:48,709 --> 00:57:50,167 I don't know, it works for me. 1118 00:57:50,167 --> 00:57:53,083 Show us your bit hub. 1119 00:57:53,083 --> 00:57:55,876 ROB GRAHAM: Now we've downloaded mining software 1120 00:57:55,876 --> 00:58:00,751 to the FPGA and you're using control program to do the mining and send 1121 00:58:00,751 --> 00:58:03,959 the results up to the Internet. 1122 00:58:09,334 --> 00:58:10,999 Password is on there. 1123 00:58:12,792 --> 00:58:18,667 My password is food bar 123 so, if you're looking for my password, 1124 00:58:18,667 --> 00:58:21,999 that's usually my password. 1125 00:58:21,999 --> 00:58:29,375 But Rob, what does food bar have to do with gold. 1126 00:58:33,125 --> 00:58:37,999 You can hunt down my passwords, e mail addresses, they tend not 1127 00:58:37,999 --> 00:58:40,250 to be Rob Graham. 1128 00:58:45,292 --> 00:58:47,999 I've used kevin Bitnick a lot. 1129 00:58:47,999 --> 00:58:49,292 How about Carlos Danger? 1130 00:58:49,292 --> 00:58:53,999 Is that going to work? 1131 00:58:54,083 --> 00:58:58,083 This is slow, it takes a while but it's running here. 1132 00:59:00,792 --> 00:59:05,292 You don't see it from a live demo but what had been running 1133 00:59:05,292 --> 00:59:09,876 for a few weeks, I just put the machine asleep. 1134 00:59:15,999 --> 00:59:17,709 He admits it. 1135 00:59:17,709 --> 00:59:22,083 It's created one chunk and sends them up to the server. 1136 00:59:22,584 --> 00:59:28,334 It does about 14 mega hashes a second is the rate. 1137 00:59:28,334 --> 00:59:29,999 It's pretty slow. 1138 00:59:29,999 --> 00:59:32,209 Faster than a desktop shall but slower than a GPU 1139 00:59:32,209 --> 00:59:34,999 but using 10 watts of power. 1140 00:59:37,292 --> 00:59:40,999 And it costs 10 bucks. 1141 00:59:40,999 --> 00:59:44,999 That's my chip liberation, taking this evil company 1142 00:59:44,999 --> 00:59:49,792 and products and doing something good. 1143 00:59:49,792 --> 00:59:51,250 How much money have you made. 1144 00:59:51,375 --> 00:59:54,250 ROB GRAHAM: Less than $10. 1145 00:59:54,250 --> 01:00:03,999 There's more gold in fiberoptics than that. 1146 01:00:07,709 --> 01:00:09,334 (Laughter). 1147 01:00:09,834 --> 01:00:11,667 That means he's done. 1148 01:00:13,834 --> 01:00:15,918 (cheers and applause). 1149 01:00:17,999 --> 01:00:25,584 So this is a this is a very special fail panel. 1150 01:00:26,125 --> 01:00:29,999 We've expanded the members of the panel. 1151 01:00:29,999 --> 01:00:32,918 We have a fail panel virgin on the team. 1152 01:00:32,999 --> 01:00:36,375 And our first female fail panelist. 1153 01:00:36,375 --> 01:00:40,209 But not both at the same time. 1154 01:00:40,209 --> 01:00:43,834 So we didn't warn her we are going to put her up on stage right now 1155 01:00:43,834 --> 01:00:46,501 but I think it's a good time. 1156 01:00:46,501 --> 01:00:47,501 Yeah. 1157 01:00:47,792 --> 01:00:49,334 Mostly because she's not drinking enough 1158 01:00:49,334 --> 01:00:51,209 in the fucking lemur. 1159 01:00:51,209 --> 01:00:54,125 All right. 1160 01:00:54,125 --> 01:00:57,042 Here we go. 1161 01:00:57,042 --> 01:00:59,501 So I said to Rob, I need to borrow your computer, here, 1162 01:00:59,501 --> 01:01:01,751 I've got a USB drive. 1163 01:01:01,999 --> 01:01:04,209 Said seems legit and he plugged it in. 1164 01:01:05,209 --> 01:01:07,209 It was gold plated. 1165 01:01:07,584 --> 01:01:14,792 But Wendy, what does gold have to do with fiberoptics. 1166 01:01:15,501 --> 01:01:17,584 Just wait and see. 1167 01:01:17,834 --> 01:01:20,999 But Dave, why is my penis in your ear. 1168 01:01:20,999 --> 01:01:23,999 DAVE MAYNOR: I'm trying to hear you come, obviously. 1169 01:01:31,792 --> 01:01:33,709 I just heard something. 1170 01:01:34,918 --> 01:01:36,959 It was very small. 1171 01:01:38,375 --> 01:01:40,709 Sounded like a dead mouse. 1172 01:01:40,709 --> 01:01:43,999 I'm a Jewish boy from Jersey, it's not going to impress anyone. 1173 01:01:43,999 --> 01:01:48,292 It's not the size of the penis. 1174 01:01:48,709 --> 01:01:50,751 It's the amount of syphilis you have. 1175 01:01:50,751 --> 01:01:56,999 WENDY: It's not the size of the ship and it's not the motion 1176 01:01:56,999 --> 01:01:59,375 of the ocean. 1177 01:01:59,375 --> 01:02:00,999 It's whether the ship can stay in port 1178 01:02:00,999 --> 01:02:04,459 until all passengers have disembarked. 1179 01:02:06,083 --> 01:02:08,125 (cheers and applause). 1180 01:02:09,959 --> 01:02:12,209 I've got three kids. 1181 01:02:12,209 --> 01:02:13,209 Call me sniper. 1182 01:02:13,209 --> 01:02:14,334 One shot, one kill. 1183 01:02:16,834 --> 01:02:17,999 (Laughter). 1184 01:02:17,999 --> 01:02:21,209 It looks like we're a little over $1,500 right now. 1185 01:02:24,375 --> 01:02:28,250 I want to give a special shout jut sky talks just threw 1186 01:02:28,250 --> 01:02:29,876 200 in. 1187 01:02:31,999 --> 01:02:34,999 And let me just say in the security community we often 1188 01:02:34,999 --> 01:02:38,459 focus on some blow hazards and some FUD and I know you'll be 1189 01:02:38,459 --> 01:02:42,792 startled, there are actually ass holes in this community. 1190 01:02:44,417 --> 01:02:46,083 Fuck them. 1191 01:02:46,083 --> 01:02:49,083 There are awesome people sitting around you and maybe even sitting 1192 01:02:49,083 --> 01:02:50,999 on this panel. 1193 01:02:50,999 --> 01:02:51,999 So absolutely. 1194 01:02:51,999 --> 01:02:54,626 So as you're exhausted and trying to focus on getting through it, 1195 01:02:54,626 --> 01:02:57,792 maybe there's awesome people around you. 1196 01:02:57,792 --> 01:02:58,876 Have a conversation. 1197 01:02:59,292 --> 01:03:01,959 And people just open up. 1198 01:03:01,959 --> 01:03:03,999 So anyway, there's a bucket here. 1199 01:03:03,999 --> 01:03:07,334 It looks pretty good but it will look better with a little more in it. 1200 01:03:08,083 --> 01:03:09,999 That's what she said. 1201 01:03:10,999 --> 01:03:14,083 Speaking of she, hey, Wendy, what's going on. 1202 01:03:14,626 --> 01:03:23,417 It looks like we did WENDY: $1,900 last year is that what it was? 1203 01:03:23,417 --> 01:03:24,999 Okay, we can do better this time. 1204 01:03:24,999 --> 01:03:26,083 Hi, everybody. 1205 01:03:26,083 --> 01:03:27,999 I'm Alex Rothman Shostack, Esquire. 1206 01:03:27,999 --> 01:03:29,083 Shostack, Esquire. 1207 01:03:32,999 --> 01:03:35,667 Speaker phone. 1208 01:03:35,709 --> 01:03:42,999 Hi, mom, I'm in front of about 2,000 people. 1209 01:03:46,834 --> 01:03:50,584 In is the boldest move in the history of fail panel. 1210 01:03:50,584 --> 01:03:55,083 Hi, mom, how are you doing? 1211 01:03:55,083 --> 01:03:58,083 I'm great, I guess you're in front of 10,000 people, huh? 1212 01:03:58,083 --> 01:03:59,375 2,000, but that's okay. 1213 01:03:59,375 --> 01:04:01,083 2,000, but that's close enough. 1214 01:04:01,083 --> 01:04:03,999 Hi, mom (in unison). 1215 01:04:03,999 --> 01:04:04,999 You still there? 1216 01:04:08,083 --> 01:04:09,584 (Laughter). 1217 01:04:09,751 --> 01:04:10,999 You wanted something? 1218 01:04:12,999 --> 01:04:14,083 What's that? 1219 01:04:14,083 --> 01:04:16,292 Mom: I'm waiting for squawking to stop. 1220 01:04:16,292 --> 01:04:20,459 Anyway, I just wanted to talk to you guys before you left the country. 1221 01:04:20,959 --> 01:04:22,999 We hope the rash cleared up. 1222 01:04:22,999 --> 01:04:23,999 Can we talk later. 1223 01:04:23,999 --> 01:04:25,999 Mom: That would be great. 1224 01:04:25,999 --> 01:04:28,083 Okay, thanks, mom, bye. 1225 01:04:37,209 --> 01:04:41,209 (Applause.) We have to give it up for him. 1226 01:04:41,209 --> 01:04:44,125 Seriously, who else would let her mother hear this place. 1227 01:04:44,125 --> 01:04:47,250 Dude, at DEF CON, everyone had your mother. 1228 01:04:47,417 --> 01:04:49,125 Boos. 1229 01:04:49,292 --> 01:04:55,417 There's room for more. 1230 01:04:55,417 --> 01:04:56,417 All right. 1231 01:04:56,417 --> 01:04:58,626 ALEX ROTHMAN: All right. 1232 01:04:58,626 --> 01:05:03,999 So Hey, you with the beer, come back here. 1233 01:05:03,999 --> 01:05:04,999 We thank you. 1234 01:05:04,999 --> 01:05:07,792 Hey, Wendy, are you going to be talking about blog. 1235 01:05:07,792 --> 01:05:10,959 ALEX ROTHMAN: Yeah, I'm Alex Rothman, Shostack, Esquire. 1236 01:05:10,959 --> 01:05:13,999 And I'm going to talk about let's just say I listen 1237 01:05:13,999 --> 01:05:17,417 to presentations for a living. 1238 01:05:18,334 --> 01:05:22,209 And yeah, bring me more to drink, please. 1239 01:05:22,292 --> 01:05:28,751 So after the first few hundred of those, it all starts to look like this. 1240 01:05:28,751 --> 01:05:30,417 And I wanted to share this with you. 1241 01:05:31,834 --> 01:05:34,083 Quick pause, have you ever seen dead mouse 1242 01:05:34,083 --> 01:05:36,083 in a presentation? 1243 01:05:36,250 --> 01:05:39,999 ALEX ROTHMAN: I've heard dead mouse and seen some 1244 01:05:39,999 --> 01:05:42,334 pretty (Laughter). 1245 01:05:48,834 --> 01:05:50,999 ALEX ROTHMAN: This is still not enough 1246 01:05:50,999 --> 01:05:53,125 for vendor presentations. 1247 01:05:53,501 --> 01:05:58,667 Who will donate money for Wendy to shotgun a beer. 1248 01:05:59,209 --> 01:06:01,417 Canadian beer. 1249 01:06:01,584 --> 01:06:03,501 Fine American beer. 1250 01:06:03,751 --> 01:06:07,584 Can't you give a version something a little better. 1251 01:06:07,751 --> 01:06:09,751 Bourbon is bad. 1252 01:06:10,083 --> 01:06:13,792 Who's got bourbon. 1253 01:06:13,792 --> 01:06:14,999 Wait, there's a virgin. 1254 01:06:14,999 --> 01:06:17,709 What kind of Scotch is that? 1255 01:06:21,501 --> 01:06:23,083 Single malt. 1256 01:06:23,542 --> 01:06:25,083 I'll take it. 1257 01:06:34,834 --> 01:06:38,209 I'll take it. 1258 01:06:38,209 --> 01:06:41,751 None of this bourbon shift. 1259 01:06:41,999 --> 01:06:42,999 Thank you. 1260 01:06:42,999 --> 01:06:47,999 Wait, wait, you're a virgin with Bon. 1261 01:06:49,417 --> 01:06:54,375 ALEX ROTHMAN: At Schmoo con, I got on stage and somebody handed 1262 01:06:54,375 --> 01:06:59,751 me a big plastic cup with what I found out later was rum. 1263 01:06:59,999 --> 01:07:05,626 15 minutes later I went off the stage completely wasted. 1264 01:07:05,626 --> 01:07:07,876 Can someone get a picture of her with the bourbon 1265 01:07:07,876 --> 01:07:09,834 for her RSA photo. 1266 01:07:11,125 --> 01:07:14,667 ALEX ROTHMAN: Please label it Alex Rothman Shostack, Esquire, 1267 01:07:14,667 --> 01:07:17,999 otherwise, I have to explain it to my boss. 1268 01:07:17,999 --> 01:07:19,626 Why I didn't share with him. 1269 01:07:28,709 --> 01:07:31,751 Every presentation starts with there are bad guys out there 1270 01:07:31,751 --> 01:07:35,834 and they're trying to put a big ass key into your computer. 1271 01:07:36,417 --> 01:07:39,459 But just to make sure we're all on the same page, 1272 01:07:39,459 --> 01:07:42,999 are there bad guys out there with big keys? 1273 01:07:42,999 --> 01:07:45,999 ALEX ROTHMAN: Well some of them think they're really big 1274 01:07:45,999 --> 01:07:48,626 but they're not that big. 1275 01:07:48,792 --> 01:07:50,918 It's all about key length, right? 1276 01:07:50,918 --> 01:07:51,918 Right? 1277 01:07:55,250 --> 01:07:58,125 So yeah, more, blah, blah because generations 1278 01:07:58,125 --> 01:08:03,083 because we don't understand these people but they wear masks. 1279 01:08:03,083 --> 01:08:04,999 I really like V for vendetta. 1280 01:08:04,999 --> 01:08:06,999 Yeah, and then of course there are scary, 1281 01:08:06,999 --> 01:08:11,542 scary numbers, lots of scary numbers, usually percentages that don't have 1282 01:08:11,542 --> 01:08:15,584 anything to do with anything else but of course they have to wind 1283 01:08:15,584 --> 01:08:18,083 up with big scary numbers. 1284 01:08:18,083 --> 01:08:20,292 What's the biggest number you've seen? 1285 01:08:20,292 --> 01:08:24,083 ALEX ROTHMAN: I can't talk about that in public. 1286 01:08:29,501 --> 01:08:31,999 He just wants to brag about it. 1287 01:08:31,999 --> 01:08:32,999 That's all. 1288 01:08:33,834 --> 01:08:36,999 And then of course everybody's got a solution. 1289 01:08:36,999 --> 01:08:39,334 Hey, I didn't know you were using my picture. 1290 01:08:39,334 --> 01:08:43,626 ALEX ROTHMAN: Everybody's got a solution. 1291 01:08:43,626 --> 01:08:45,999 And have you noticed that every term in security was made 1292 01:08:45,999 --> 01:08:48,459 up by Is that a spider? 1293 01:08:48,459 --> 01:08:51,999 ALEX ROTHMAN: Was made up by people who desperately want 1294 01:08:51,999 --> 01:08:56,834 to be macho so they use all sorts of law enforcement and weapon 1295 01:08:56,834 --> 01:09:01,542 and violence things we've secured ninjas and knights and spears 1296 01:09:01,542 --> 01:09:05,501 and blood and we don't have hair balls. 1297 01:09:05,501 --> 01:09:08,834 My DS SOP says I have to secure this presentation 1298 01:09:08,834 --> 01:09:11,417 as a TSCPI because you haven't gone 1299 01:09:11,417 --> 01:09:13,876 through an SS SPI. 1300 01:09:13,876 --> 01:09:15,792 ALEX ROTHMAN: Yes, I do, thank you. 1301 01:09:17,083 --> 01:09:18,834 I don't know why they keep going 1302 01:09:18,834 --> 01:09:22,334 through this macho stuff when this is just as scary. 1303 01:09:22,417 --> 01:09:25,125 That's my mom! 1304 01:09:25,209 --> 01:09:27,834 ALEX ROTHMAN: That's right. 1305 01:09:27,834 --> 01:09:31,375 Wait a minute, that man just paid $100 for pancakes. 1306 01:09:38,626 --> 01:09:40,167 (cheers and applause). 1307 01:09:40,167 --> 01:09:41,999 Did you have any good meals in Vegas. 1308 01:09:41,999 --> 01:09:42,999 Yeah. 1309 01:09:42,999 --> 01:09:43,999 Yeah. 1310 01:09:43,999 --> 01:09:44,999 I had a steak. 1311 01:09:44,999 --> 01:09:46,167 Well, I had a pancake. 1312 01:09:49,125 --> 01:09:51,125 $33 a pancake. 1313 01:09:51,501 --> 01:09:55,125 I believe at this point Cheers, everyone. 1314 01:09:55,125 --> 01:09:59,999 To all of you. 1315 01:09:59,999 --> 01:10:02,667 Hey, real quick while we're doing this, everybody raise your glasses 1316 01:10:02,667 --> 01:10:05,999 and say good bye to our very good friend Barnaby. 1317 01:10:05,999 --> 01:10:07,667 To Barnaby! 1318 01:10:07,667 --> 01:10:17,542 I can't help notice, one Wendy, you still have some left. 1319 01:10:17,542 --> 01:10:19,667 I did. 1320 01:10:19,667 --> 01:10:20,834 I'm very observant. 1321 01:10:20,834 --> 01:10:23,584 I'm stretching it out. 1322 01:10:23,667 --> 01:10:24,999 And that's what is he said. 1323 01:10:26,626 --> 01:10:30,209 So Wendy as a fail panel virgin. 1324 01:10:30,375 --> 01:10:34,999 The first fail panel I was prepared for was heckling from the audience. 1325 01:10:35,999 --> 01:10:38,959 It was over quick. 1326 01:10:38,959 --> 01:10:39,417 I wasn't prepared for the constant heckling 1327 01:10:39,417 --> 01:10:41,000 to the copanelists. 1328 01:10:41,250 --> 01:10:46,042 ALEX ROTHMAN: I know most of you guys. 1329 01:10:46,042 --> 01:10:50,999 I found the angry old lady trick works really well at least for me. 1330 01:10:50,999 --> 01:10:53,999 I think we should have more of this in security. 1331 01:10:54,000 --> 01:10:57,709 And of course everybody wants to tell me that they're the best 1332 01:10:57,709 --> 01:11:01,083 and unique and the first one to have done something really, 1333 01:11:01,083 --> 01:11:04,209 really exciting and it's all because it's not antivirus 1334 01:11:04,209 --> 01:11:06,709 and it's not a firewall. 1335 01:11:06,834 --> 01:11:11,709 Everybody is, like, shooting down these things and everybody 1336 01:11:11,709 --> 01:11:15,542 is saying the S word, signature. 1337 01:11:15,542 --> 01:11:16,999 No, we don't use signatures. 1338 01:11:16,999 --> 01:11:19,999 We're better than this because we don't use signatures. 1339 01:11:19,999 --> 01:11:20,999 We use rules. 1340 01:11:21,083 --> 01:11:22,459 (Laughter). 1341 01:11:22,918 --> 01:11:23,999 Yeah. 1342 01:11:23,999 --> 01:11:26,834 I actually What do rules have to do with fiberoptics. 1343 01:11:26,834 --> 01:11:28,083 The golden rule. 1344 01:11:30,209 --> 01:11:32,918 Is this like the golden shower? 1345 01:11:34,417 --> 01:11:37,999 ALEX ROTHMAN: That's later, I need another drink for that. 1346 01:11:37,999 --> 01:11:41,999 We need to raise $3,000 for that. 1347 01:11:42,125 --> 01:11:46,626 It's like you hitting on judge Judy: It's not anti virus 1348 01:11:46,626 --> 01:11:50,999 and not a firewall and nobody is ready to say get rid 1349 01:11:50,999 --> 01:11:54,459 of your antivirus or firewall. 1350 01:11:55,834 --> 01:12:02,209 Everybody is saying these days they're great because they're not also they're 1351 01:12:02,209 --> 01:12:06,999 the best because they have really big data. 1352 01:12:08,375 --> 01:12:10,999 Their data is really big. 1353 01:12:10,999 --> 01:12:13,959 It's much bigger than the other vendor's data. 1354 01:12:14,250 --> 01:12:16,083 Would you like to see our data? 1355 01:12:16,083 --> 01:12:18,083 We'll show you how big it is. 1356 01:12:18,083 --> 01:12:19,999 Would you like to measure our big data? 1357 01:12:20,125 --> 01:12:24,999 It's really and they want to stick their big data in everything. 1358 01:12:26,999 --> 01:12:30,083 There's a DI for data injection. 1359 01:12:30,083 --> 01:12:31,918 Wendy and I are both analysts. 1360 01:12:31,918 --> 01:12:38,083 I've had two recently one it was backed by SQL server and the other 1361 01:12:38,083 --> 01:12:43,834 is they deal with large SharePoint servers. 1362 01:12:44,542 --> 01:12:47,834 So you're a double whore? 1363 01:12:49,667 --> 01:12:52,999 ALEX ROTHMAN: Nobody on the crew nobs what's knows what's 1364 01:12:52,999 --> 01:12:57,584 coming up next because I made this up yesterday in the bathtub. 1365 01:12:57,584 --> 01:12:59,999 Chicky chicky wow wow. 1366 01:13:01,999 --> 01:13:04,792 Save that, that's come up. 1367 01:13:04,999 --> 01:13:05,999 . 1368 01:13:08,125 --> 01:13:09,999 That says realist. 1369 01:13:09,999 --> 01:13:15,083 ALEX ROTHMAN: We're note just fast, we're realer time than they are. 1370 01:13:15,083 --> 01:13:16,417 Because hardware cloud. 1371 01:13:16,417 --> 01:13:17,999 We're realer time than they are. 1372 01:13:17,999 --> 01:13:26,999 I'm going to throw out an idea here. 1373 01:13:27,083 --> 01:13:30,375 What happens if you get cloud hardware? 1374 01:13:30,501 --> 01:13:32,542 Then it gets really hard. 1375 01:13:32,542 --> 01:13:33,667 Yeah, it does. 1376 01:13:33,667 --> 01:13:35,083 That's what she said. 1377 01:13:35,999 --> 01:13:39,417 ALEX ROTHMAN: So all of this makes me do this. 1378 01:13:40,999 --> 01:13:43,709 I feel slightly uncomfortable. 1379 01:13:43,709 --> 01:13:45,751 ALEX ROTHMAN: I really need a helmet. 1380 01:13:46,125 --> 01:13:48,167 That would help me during the presentations I have 1381 01:13:48,167 --> 01:13:52,999 to watch and listen to, if I had a helmet, I would feel better sometimes. 1382 01:13:52,999 --> 01:13:54,292 It would clean up easier. 1383 01:13:54,292 --> 01:13:57,667 ALEX ROTHMAN: Here's my solution to the problem. 1384 01:13:57,667 --> 01:14:01,999 We need more sound effects in security. 1385 01:14:01,999 --> 01:14:03,334 Is that how you spell more. 1386 01:14:03,334 --> 01:14:05,083 ALEX ROTHMAN: Well yes, yes it is. 1387 01:14:05,083 --> 01:14:06,083 I can't spell. 1388 01:14:06,125 --> 01:14:08,083 Just play dead mouse, Wendy. 1389 01:14:08,083 --> 01:14:11,999 ALEX ROTHMAN: As you can see, we're almost there. 1390 01:14:11,999 --> 01:14:14,959 A lot of vendor names sound like side effects. 1391 01:14:15,918 --> 01:14:17,792 We have hadoop. 1392 01:14:17,999 --> 01:14:18,999 Splunk. 1393 01:14:18,999 --> 01:14:22,834 Splunk is a real thing. 1394 01:14:27,626 --> 01:14:30,167 What's's gold got to do with splunk. 1395 01:14:30,167 --> 01:14:32,626 If you have the gold, you get to splunk. 1396 01:14:40,083 --> 01:14:42,417 Last Corona, we're going to auction it. 1397 01:14:42,999 --> 01:14:47,083 Who will take their shirt off for a Corona. 1398 01:14:56,292 --> 01:14:58,417 Underwear, oh, God, yes. 1399 01:14:58,751 --> 01:15:01,375 We've got 40 over there. 1400 01:15:01,999 --> 01:15:04,792 Nice gentleman with the gray cap. 1401 01:15:04,959 --> 01:15:06,417 Anyone over 40. 1402 01:15:06,999 --> 01:15:10,792 Sold, Corona with 40 thank you, serve. 1403 01:15:18,125 --> 01:15:20,709 This is just sound effects. 1404 01:15:26,626 --> 01:15:28,501 Hadoop, Hadoop. 1405 01:15:31,292 --> 01:15:36,542 They're all just Norwegians. 1406 01:15:36,876 --> 01:15:39,959 ALEX ROTHMAN: So yes, sound effects. 1407 01:15:39,959 --> 01:15:41,542 We really need sound effects. 1408 01:15:41,999 --> 01:15:43,626 When you're talking about people are telling me 1409 01:15:43,626 --> 01:15:46,083 about malware, I love it when they pronounce is mall ware 1410 01:15:46,083 --> 01:15:48,459 because then I think of this. 1411 01:15:50,709 --> 01:15:53,999 Let's go to the mall ware. 1412 01:15:55,709 --> 01:15:58,584 ALEX ROTHMAN: Any time somebody starts talking 1413 01:15:58,584 --> 01:16:00,876 about mall wear, I can start thinking 1414 01:16:00,876 --> 01:16:02,999 about elevator music. 1415 01:16:07,999 --> 01:16:10,999 Everything that you hear in a mall, you can start thinking 1416 01:16:10,999 --> 01:16:14,083 about it whenever anybody sells mall wear. 1417 01:16:14,209 --> 01:16:17,250 Is there a Victoria's Secret to this mall wear? 1418 01:16:17,292 --> 01:16:19,292 (cheers and applause). 1419 01:16:19,292 --> 01:16:20,542 (cheers and applause). 1420 01:16:20,542 --> 01:16:29,250 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. 1421 01:16:32,999 --> 01:16:33,999 Fail! 1422 01:16:33,999 --> 01:16:38,876 That would be a targeting fail. 1423 01:16:38,876 --> 01:16:40,959 ALEX ROTHMAN: We need a flap jack trebuchet, 1424 01:16:40,959 --> 01:16:42,999 that's what we need. 1425 01:16:44,751 --> 01:16:47,083 I have an ultimate fail. 1426 01:16:48,501 --> 01:16:56,459 My kids are here so they can see what dad does for a living. 1427 01:16:56,751 --> 01:17:00,626 They're too busy to come to my talk. 1428 01:17:02,501 --> 01:17:04,999 ALEX ROTHMAN: Dissed. 1429 01:17:06,959 --> 01:17:11,999 One of them is teaching scratch at roots. 1430 01:17:11,999 --> 01:17:14,792 So wait. 1431 01:17:15,250 --> 01:17:16,876 He's working. 1432 01:17:17,209 --> 01:17:20,999 Right now my daughter and new best friend are using 1433 01:17:20,999 --> 01:17:26,959 a scavenger hunt I don't know how that happened and my son is teaching. 1434 01:17:30,834 --> 01:17:33,834 That is so awesome. 1435 01:17:33,834 --> 01:17:34,834 . 1436 01:17:34,834 --> 01:17:36,501 Jamie, I think you misunderstand. 1437 01:17:36,792 --> 01:17:39,751 Jamie, I think you understand the word fail then. 1438 01:17:41,999 --> 01:17:43,999 Chopped liver, hi. 1439 01:17:51,375 --> 01:18:02,083 That man is going to pass fire school. 1440 01:18:02,709 --> 01:18:05,999 ALEX ROTHMAN: Settle down I have to do more sound events. 1441 01:18:12,999 --> 01:18:16,999 Analytics is like magic, you should be thinking this. 1442 01:18:16,999 --> 01:18:19,876 Analytics, it's magic. 1443 01:18:19,999 --> 01:18:22,417 I thought you were giving me a hand job there. 1444 01:18:22,417 --> 01:18:24,918 ALEX ROTHMAN: This is a linguistic program. 1445 01:18:24,918 --> 01:18:27,709 I'm going to continue everybody, a room full of people. 1446 01:18:27,709 --> 01:18:29,999 We overflowed the first donation bucket so we're 1447 01:18:29,999 --> 01:18:32,083 starting a new one. 1448 01:18:36,125 --> 01:18:38,083 ALEX ROTHMAN: Excellent. 1449 01:18:38,083 --> 01:18:39,083 Yay! 1450 01:18:39,083 --> 01:18:40,083 All right. 1451 01:18:40,083 --> 01:18:41,626 Jamie, the next one is for you. 1452 01:18:41,626 --> 01:18:44,417 Next sound effect is for you because cyber. 1453 01:18:47,709 --> 01:18:55,167 Every time you hear cyber, I want you to think cyber. 1454 01:18:55,999 --> 01:18:58,375 Wendy, I don't know if you know this or not 1455 01:18:58,375 --> 01:19:01,584 but that sounds like a masturbation sound. 1456 01:19:01,834 --> 01:19:04,250 ALEX ROTHMAN: Maybe for you it does. 1457 01:19:04,250 --> 01:19:05,375 It does, actually. 1458 01:19:09,292 --> 01:19:13,999 ALEX ROTHMAN: Cyber, cyber, cyber, say it 1459 01:19:13,999 --> 01:19:18,501 with me (quack quack) chant chant. 1460 01:19:18,999 --> 01:19:31,459 Next door is wondering what the fuck is going on. 1461 01:19:31,459 --> 01:19:37,542 What does cyber have to do with fiberoptics? 1462 01:19:37,542 --> 01:19:38,626 So cyber. 1463 01:19:38,999 --> 01:19:42,667 ALEX ROTHMAN: So next one I want you to be thinking this. 1464 01:19:42,999 --> 01:19:43,999 All right. 1465 01:19:43,999 --> 01:19:46,459 And finally, some things are just too big That's what 1466 01:19:46,459 --> 01:19:50,667 she said ALEX ROTHMAN: Yeah, that's what I said. 1467 01:19:54,834 --> 01:20:00,083 Some things just require a different level of side effect. 1468 01:20:09,459 --> 01:20:11,459 All the things, yeah. 1469 01:20:11,459 --> 01:20:12,459 Yeah. 1470 01:20:12,459 --> 01:20:13,584 Oh, my God, hair ball. 1471 01:20:13,584 --> 01:20:20,250 Hair ball. 1472 01:20:20,250 --> 01:20:23,250 And that's what she said. 1473 01:20:23,375 --> 01:20:24,999 ALEX ROTHMAN: Holy cow. 1474 01:20:48,042 --> 01:20:49,501 All right. 1475 01:20:49,501 --> 01:20:52,417 So pancake should go for 20 bucks now. 1476 01:20:52,417 --> 01:20:53,999 Rich for the finishing touch. 1477 01:20:54,999 --> 01:21:01,083 Did you say finishing or facial touch? 1478 01:21:01,083 --> 01:21:02,999 How come he still has his pants on. 1479 01:21:03,375 --> 01:21:06,083 We have time constraints. 1480 01:21:06,083 --> 01:21:08,501 What does gold have do do with Rich's pants. 1481 01:21:08,501 --> 01:21:09,999 ALEX ROTHMAN: All right. 1482 01:21:09,999 --> 01:21:16,542 So the very last sound effect I want to share with you, hey, hey, pipe down. 1483 01:21:16,999 --> 01:21:17,999 I'm talking. 1484 01:21:17,999 --> 01:21:20,167 Who's late coming? 1485 01:21:20,167 --> 01:21:21,999 ALEX ROTHMAN: Last sound effect. 1486 01:21:21,999 --> 01:21:23,334 It's got to be a big one. 1487 01:21:23,834 --> 01:21:25,167 I love sound effects. 1488 01:21:25,709 --> 01:21:36,375 ¯ oh, my gosh! 1489 01:21:36,375 --> 01:21:39,792 So that's what I wanted to think of when somebody says ATP, yes, oh, 1490 01:21:39,792 --> 01:21:44,959 my God, because that's back to the whole macho sexual thing, too. 1491 01:21:44,959 --> 01:21:45,959 It's so flipy! 1492 01:21:45,959 --> 01:21:47,626 ALEX ROTHMAN: It is. 1493 01:21:49,999 --> 01:21:52,751 So remember what did I tell you today? 1494 01:21:52,751 --> 01:21:53,751 What did I tell you? 1495 01:22:11,501 --> 01:22:14,626 So I'll just leave that right here with you. 1496 01:22:14,626 --> 01:22:19,459 Remember, cyber, cyber, cyber. 1497 01:22:46,667 --> 01:22:48,250 Thank you. 1498 01:22:55,999 --> 01:23:01,999 (Applause.) All right, this took me about 20 minutes to put together. 1499 01:23:02,542 --> 01:23:04,501 I already did it. 1500 01:23:04,999 --> 01:23:09,626 We have something better, but wait until the end. 1501 01:23:10,083 --> 01:23:14,250 I say that a lot and they're always disappointed. 1502 01:23:14,792 --> 01:23:15,999 But yeah. 1503 01:23:17,125 --> 01:23:21,501 So basically, this is my top 5 fails of the last year and 1504 01:23:21,501 --> 01:23:25,999 the first one isn't last year, it was 2011 but I haven't had 1505 01:23:25,999 --> 01:23:31,999 a chance to share it 2011, I'm in Beijing, China teaching a class. 1506 01:23:34,167 --> 01:23:36,501 That's not my fucking problem. 1507 01:23:36,501 --> 01:23:37,501 I'm up here. 1508 01:23:37,501 --> 01:23:38,501 All right. 1509 01:23:40,250 --> 01:23:50,918 Can somebody I mean Donating 60 for the dino toy cyber only cost her $60. 1510 01:23:58,999 --> 01:24:02,584 Be able to stand in the hall and you'll be able 1511 01:24:02,584 --> 01:24:05,209 to see my slides fine. 1512 01:24:06,083 --> 01:24:08,584 Don't worry, come. 1513 01:24:08,959 --> 01:24:13,751 Do you know what happens when you fail on this panel, Rich. 1514 01:24:14,999 --> 01:24:19,792 You get something big. 1515 01:24:22,083 --> 01:24:23,375 Yeah. 1516 01:24:23,459 --> 01:24:25,501 We'll do that at the end. 1517 01:24:25,999 --> 01:24:29,209 RICH MOGULL: I'm in China teaching 1518 01:24:29,209 --> 01:24:32,292 a cloud security class. 1519 01:24:32,292 --> 01:24:33,959 This is going well. 1520 01:24:33,999 --> 01:24:35,999 When you were in China, did you get approached 1521 01:24:35,999 --> 01:24:38,751 by any women to have sex with you. 1522 01:24:38,999 --> 01:24:41,083 Just your mom. 1523 01:24:41,125 --> 01:24:44,751 You're the only Cybersecurity who went 1524 01:24:44,751 --> 01:24:50,999 to China and have not been propositions by a honeypot. 1525 01:24:51,167 --> 01:24:53,709 It was a honey net. 1526 01:24:53,999 --> 01:24:59,709 That means it was both men and women. 1527 01:25:01,876 --> 01:25:02,999 I don't know what's up with the AV 1528 01:25:02,999 --> 01:25:04,918 because I'm sending out. 1529 01:25:04,918 --> 01:25:08,999 RICH MOGULL: So part of the lab for this is we do a bunch of stuff 1530 01:25:08,999 --> 01:25:11,999 with Amazon web services. 1531 01:25:11,999 --> 01:25:15,501 I'm sitting there with the students, look, this is a little difficult. 1532 01:25:15,501 --> 01:25:16,292 I said no more than 15 students and they all need 1533 01:25:16,292 --> 01:25:19,667 to speak English because I don't speak Chinese. 1534 01:25:21,999 --> 01:25:26,709 And so I had 30 students and most of them didn't speak English. 1535 01:25:27,918 --> 01:25:31,083 Little challenging, there was no translators. 1536 01:25:31,334 --> 01:25:34,709 And so it was one of those experiences. 1537 01:25:34,709 --> 01:25:36,083 This was for a large company. 1538 01:25:36,083 --> 01:25:37,083 HP. 1539 01:25:37,083 --> 01:25:38,083 And. 1540 01:25:38,375 --> 01:25:41,459 I'm sorry, you coughed, what did you say. 1541 01:25:41,459 --> 01:25:43,999 RICH MOGULL: So blow me. 1542 01:25:43,999 --> 01:25:44,999 And. 1543 01:25:44,999 --> 01:25:46,417 Put it in the crowd. 1544 01:25:46,417 --> 01:25:49,667 So we do all our labs at Amazon web services. 1545 01:25:49,876 --> 01:25:52,999 I have everything set up and all of a sudden I'm getting pissed 1546 01:25:52,999 --> 01:25:55,999 off and yelling at the network guy because none 1547 01:25:55,999 --> 01:25:59,459 of the students can connect to virtual servers, whole thing 1548 01:25:59,459 --> 01:26:03,167 is falling apart, we're not able to do any of the labs and what 1549 01:26:03,167 --> 01:26:05,876 the fuck is going on here? 1550 01:26:06,083 --> 01:26:08,709 I take a step back and think for a moment. 1551 01:26:08,751 --> 01:26:11,751 I had 25 students. 1552 01:26:11,751 --> 01:26:15,834 We launched 50 instances in Amazon, making 50SHH connections 1553 01:26:15,834 --> 01:26:19,667 simultaneously from one IP address. 1554 01:26:22,083 --> 01:26:25,999 I'm thinking the dude over there at Amazon is thinking this. 1555 01:26:30,375 --> 01:26:31,999 Maybe this. 1556 01:26:33,209 --> 01:26:35,459 More likely this. 1557 01:26:38,709 --> 01:26:42,626 And if it's Dave Maynor, this. 1558 01:26:43,918 --> 01:26:46,709 Really, probably this. 1559 01:26:46,834 --> 01:26:50,667 So the end result was for about half an hour, we were blocked 1560 01:26:50,667 --> 01:26:53,999 from Amazon, student couldn't do labs and eventually 1561 01:26:53,999 --> 01:26:58,083 they released it and decided we weren't a threat. 1562 01:26:59,083 --> 01:27:01,999 So I have to go fast because Dave has cool stuff. 1563 01:27:03,209 --> 01:27:07,999 Number 4, this occurred four days ago. 1564 01:27:07,999 --> 01:27:11,083 So I'm teaching a cloud security class at Blackhat. 1565 01:27:11,209 --> 01:27:15,584 You kind of somebody knows about the Blackhat Web site is. 1566 01:27:15,584 --> 01:27:19,999 They probably can type in the URL, they heard of Blackhat. 1567 01:27:19,999 --> 01:27:21,876 It says 4. 1568 01:27:21,876 --> 01:27:24,834 RICH MOGULL: 5, 4, 3. 1569 01:27:24,999 --> 01:27:26,999 Dave, we can read by the way. 1570 01:27:26,999 --> 01:27:30,999 RICH MOGULL: It's a new thing and he's totally excited. 1571 01:27:32,834 --> 01:27:34,999 So don't burst his bubble. 1572 01:27:36,792 --> 01:27:41,709 This is a great reading level. 1573 01:27:41,709 --> 01:27:45,125 Yes, it is. 1574 01:27:45,125 --> 01:27:47,584 I've got a bunch of students in my class and I feel bad 1575 01:27:47,584 --> 01:27:49,999 about this one because the person involved 1576 01:27:49,999 --> 01:27:52,999 is actually really, really nice and I'd feel worse 1577 01:27:52,999 --> 01:27:56,083 if she was in this room but she's not. 1578 01:27:56,083 --> 01:27:58,834 So this person early on we identified that 1579 01:27:58,834 --> 01:28:01,999 she teaches security at a college. 1580 01:28:01,999 --> 01:28:05,083 So I don't think a university, community college or something. 1581 01:28:05,083 --> 01:28:06,999 You're not telling that story, man. 1582 01:28:06,999 --> 01:28:10,167 RICH MOGULL: Jamie was here, he'd help me coteach the class. 1583 01:28:10,167 --> 01:28:13,709 So she teaches at a college and supervise this person. 1584 01:28:13,709 --> 01:28:16,999 She said look, she sat me down and it was quiet. 1585 01:28:17,250 --> 01:28:21,876 She's like okay, so I hate to admit this, I do mostly policy 1586 01:28:21,876 --> 01:28:24,334 and management stuff. 1587 01:28:24,834 --> 01:28:27,959 But I don't know what you mean by key. 1588 01:28:28,167 --> 01:28:29,876 I thought for a second. 1589 01:28:29,999 --> 01:28:31,083 And I thought. 1590 01:28:31,292 --> 01:28:36,501 And I thought, and I thought and I'm like you mean an SSH key, 1591 01:28:36,501 --> 01:28:38,751 she goes yeah. 1592 01:28:39,125 --> 01:28:44,667 So she's teaching security classes at the college level and doesn't know 1593 01:28:44,667 --> 01:28:46,918 what SSH key is. 1594 01:28:47,209 --> 01:28:49,709 Favorite fail number 4. 1595 01:28:49,709 --> 01:28:53,876 You would laugh if you weren't so fucking disturbed 1596 01:28:53,876 --> 01:28:56,083 at the concept. 1597 01:28:56,083 --> 01:29:00,999 standing there going I have no response to that question. 1598 01:29:01,501 --> 01:29:04,292 RICH MOGULL: This is better than 1599 01:29:04,292 --> 01:29:09,918 a class where I was trying to help her find her SSH key. 1600 01:29:12,250 --> 01:29:16,375 Pull up file explore and she goes I don't know what this is. 1601 01:29:19,083 --> 01:29:22,626 Here it is, I need you to search on star.pim. 1602 01:29:22,667 --> 01:29:25,083 You know what she typed in next? 1603 01:29:25,083 --> 01:29:25,751 S t a r. 1604 01:29:25,751 --> 01:29:30,375 Guess who she worked for? 1605 01:29:30,626 --> 01:29:33,167 That would be the federal government. 1606 01:29:34,999 --> 01:29:37,999 Using your federal government laptop. 1607 01:29:40,083 --> 01:29:44,792 Number 3 this also occurred at our class and Jamie is going 1608 01:29:44,792 --> 01:29:47,751 to fucking love this one. 1609 01:29:47,999 --> 01:29:49,792 Look at the preview of what's next. 1610 01:29:50,999 --> 01:29:53,999 JAMES ARLEN: Laughing. 1611 01:29:53,999 --> 01:29:57,999 We can't show you until you donate more money. 1612 01:30:01,626 --> 01:30:04,626 RICH MOGULL: Donate more money. 1613 01:30:04,999 --> 01:30:08,999 You have one guy, there's always a dude, always a guy, 1614 01:30:08,999 --> 01:30:13,834 mostly and they always know a lot and they're really wanting 1615 01:30:13,834 --> 01:30:17,834 to impress you with their background. 1616 01:30:17,834 --> 01:30:19,918 So this individual Rich, rich, did I tell you about that type I broke 1617 01:30:19,918 --> 01:30:21,375 into an Apple? 1618 01:30:21,375 --> 01:30:24,792 RICH MOGULL: You did three years ago here and now there's a black hat 1619 01:30:24,792 --> 01:30:28,834 on the failed exploit on a panel that nobody noticed. 1620 01:30:28,834 --> 01:30:30,125 It was a zero day at the time. 1621 01:30:30,584 --> 01:30:35,999 So this guy Rich, technical term for that person is asshole. 1622 01:30:35,999 --> 01:30:41,042 RICH MOGULL: I spent 8 years as a undergrad, so I don't know 1623 01:30:41,042 --> 01:30:43,459 all the terms. 1624 01:30:43,459 --> 01:30:46,459 In Cherokee that means enlightened one. 1625 01:30:47,584 --> 01:30:51,626 Just as asshole enlightened your penis. 1626 01:30:54,667 --> 01:30:56,876 It's the fail panel. 1627 01:30:56,876 --> 01:30:58,209 It ain't going to get better. 1628 01:30:58,209 --> 01:31:02,918 So this individual mentioned how he just finished his where's 1629 01:31:02,918 --> 01:31:05,375 the squeaky thing. 1630 01:31:06,209 --> 01:31:08,999 Stat stat stat. 1631 01:31:09,876 --> 01:31:13,584 His Cybersecurity graduate degree. 1632 01:31:15,083 --> 01:31:20,083 He informed us that in the first talk and said 1633 01:31:20,083 --> 01:31:25,876 in ominous tones "Have you ever heard of heap spray?" 1634 01:31:25,876 --> 01:31:27,834 well yes. 1635 01:31:28,501 --> 01:31:30,999 I've heard that term before. 1636 01:31:30,999 --> 01:31:34,542 He says well you know, we're the guys who heap spray'd 1637 01:31:34,542 --> 01:31:36,999 the college from Amazon. 1638 01:31:39,375 --> 01:31:40,999 What! 1639 01:31:40,999 --> 01:31:45,083 RICH MOGULL: I thought about that 1640 01:31:45,083 --> 01:31:53,999 for a moment and another moment and the first words that were going 1641 01:31:53,999 --> 01:32:01,083 through my head I really didn't have the heart. 1642 01:32:01,083 --> 01:32:02,626 My name is Montego Montoya. 1643 01:32:03,125 --> 01:32:05,167 You killed my father. 1644 01:32:05,167 --> 01:32:07,709 Prepare to heap spray the college from Amazon. 1645 01:32:11,083 --> 01:32:14,459 RICH MOGULL: It is very rare I don't know how 1646 01:32:14,459 --> 01:32:17,999 to respond to something along lines. 1647 01:32:17,999 --> 01:32:20,999 So I decided to look for heap spray defenses online. 1648 01:32:21,083 --> 01:32:26,792 And I was pretty much not able to come up with anything. 1649 01:32:27,501 --> 01:32:30,292 He got frustrated later because he couldn't realize that, 1650 01:32:30,292 --> 01:32:33,167 when you enter something into the user interface if it has 1651 01:32:33,167 --> 01:32:36,667 a space in there and you get an error and it says no spaces allowed, 1652 01:32:36,667 --> 01:32:38,999 you just take the space out. 1653 01:32:38,999 --> 01:32:43,459 So it was a really good class. 1654 01:32:43,459 --> 01:32:46,709 But Rich, what do spaces have to do with fiberoptics? 1655 01:32:46,709 --> 01:32:52,999 RICH MOGULL: Number 2. 1656 01:32:53,334 --> 01:32:56,209 Like Wendy, I work as an analyst. 1657 01:32:56,209 --> 01:32:58,167 I'm willing to admit the name of my company 1658 01:32:58,167 --> 01:33:01,459 because I actually own the company. 1659 01:33:07,417 --> 01:33:10,999 And all these presentations I said Rob is going to be pissed. 1660 01:33:10,999 --> 01:33:12,626 Hey, look. 1661 01:33:18,999 --> 01:33:23,083 When I was a little girl. 1662 01:33:24,167 --> 01:33:28,417 We all know ATP is a big deal. 1663 01:33:28,959 --> 01:33:33,959 Rich, I'm no expert here, but that looks racist. 1664 01:33:33,999 --> 01:33:38,959 RICH MOGULL: Yeah, that's because Bing is racist. 1665 01:33:39,209 --> 01:33:44,999 You see how you spelled high h i g h. 1666 01:33:44,999 --> 01:33:51,751 I can't believe it's not butter. 1667 01:33:51,751 --> 01:33:57,250 Pour some on me, baby. 1668 01:33:57,250 --> 01:33:58,626 Premature there, hey? 1669 01:34:02,209 --> 01:34:05,999 RICH MOGULL: Too soon? 1670 01:34:08,834 --> 01:34:09,999 Finally. 1671 01:34:11,083 --> 01:34:17,292 Holy years ago I remember I talked about a web application firewall vendor 1672 01:34:17,292 --> 01:34:20,999 and they talked about the ATP marketing guy 1673 01:34:20,999 --> 01:34:24,751 at a reception we were at at RSA. 1674 01:34:24,751 --> 01:34:27,999 And I said well you know you don't that's not how these guys do 1675 01:34:27,999 --> 01:34:29,999 those things. 1676 01:34:29,999 --> 01:34:32,375 I said I know we did a survey and ATP. 1677 01:34:34,083 --> 01:34:37,375 This is the last victim. 1678 01:34:38,999 --> 01:34:41,334 No less than $20. 1679 01:34:47,083 --> 01:34:48,751 This is free, $20. 1680 01:34:48,751 --> 01:35:02,999 RICH MOGULL: Hey guys, MMaynor guys, Maynor has good stuff. 1681 01:35:02,999 --> 01:35:04,167 I got to get through this. 1682 01:35:10,167 --> 01:35:14,459 This is e mail of the year, I got it about a week ago. 1683 01:35:14,459 --> 01:35:16,626 I'm going to let you read this for a moment. 1684 01:35:16,959 --> 01:35:21,459 I'm contacting you on behalf of VISACA who would like to speak 1685 01:35:21,459 --> 01:35:24,626 to you about how IT can form Cybersecurity 1686 01:35:24,626 --> 01:35:26,626 with cobit 5. 1687 01:35:28,083 --> 01:35:30,667 I got one of these too Rob Graham. 1688 01:35:30,667 --> 01:35:31,999 Rich Mogull this is critical for IT teams in the name 1689 01:35:31,999 --> 01:35:34,999 of escalating advanced persistent threats. 1690 01:35:34,999 --> 01:35:37,834 So apparently we can use a control fast track known 1691 01:35:37,834 --> 01:35:40,999 as code bit to stop ATP attacks. 1692 01:35:40,999 --> 01:35:41,999 ALEX ROTHMAN: Yes! 1693 01:35:41,999 --> 01:35:42,999 Oh, my God! 1694 01:35:42,999 --> 01:35:48,542 Rich Mogull now, my absolute favorite fail occurred 1695 01:35:48,542 --> 01:35:54,709 literally 30 minutes before this talk. 1696 01:35:55,083 --> 01:36:00,751 So I walk out to get coffee, I go into the normal area of the hotel 1697 01:36:00,751 --> 01:36:04,999 and I'm come back with my cup of coffee. 1698 01:36:04,999 --> 01:36:06,834 That's the area that's normal. 1699 01:36:06,834 --> 01:36:08,375 Not the area with normal people. 1700 01:36:08,876 --> 01:36:11,667 RICH MOGULL: Normal people, not us. 1701 01:36:12,250 --> 01:36:15,459 Otherwise as we refer to them, targets. 1702 01:36:15,459 --> 01:36:16,459 (Laughter). 1703 01:36:18,167 --> 01:36:21,999 RICH MOGULL: Somebody comes up to me, he's super nice, 1704 01:36:21,999 --> 01:36:24,792 he did not look like this. 1705 01:36:24,792 --> 01:36:28,999 This is my normal impression of normals at Vegas and he comes 1706 01:36:28,999 --> 01:36:34,083 up to me and it's great and he's nice and he goes "Excuse me, sir?" 1707 01:36:34,083 --> 01:36:37,626 I've got all the goon stuff on. 1708 01:36:37,626 --> 01:36:39,250 Admittedly the badge doesn't mean anything 1709 01:36:39,250 --> 01:36:42,209 but the dumb ass tactical vest does. 1710 01:36:43,584 --> 01:36:47,584 He goes what's going on over at the Convention Center. 1711 01:36:47,709 --> 01:36:49,999 It's DEF CON, the world's biggest hacker conference 1712 01:36:49,999 --> 01:36:52,209 and his face goes like this. 1713 01:36:56,375 --> 01:36:58,751 And I'm not used to that reaction. 1714 01:36:58,876 --> 01:37:00,501 That's cool. 1715 01:37:00,501 --> 01:37:01,626 That's interesting. 1716 01:37:01,626 --> 01:37:02,626 Blah, blah, blah. 1717 01:37:02,626 --> 01:37:03,626 They ask questions. 1718 01:37:03,626 --> 01:37:04,999 I'm like is something okay? 1719 01:37:04,999 --> 01:37:06,999 And he goes wonderful. 1720 01:37:06,999 --> 01:37:07,999 And I'm like why? 1721 01:37:08,209 --> 01:37:11,083 And he goes "I work for the NSA." 1722 01:37:21,417 --> 01:37:34,999 No bullshit, 30 minutes before this talk. 1723 01:37:41,751 --> 01:37:46,209 DAVE MAYNOR: You came to the fail panel. 1724 01:37:46,584 --> 01:37:49,918 RICH MOGULL: Jack Daniel and I were talking whoever gives us 1725 01:37:49,918 --> 01:37:53,792 $100 gets to roll around in the money right now. 1726 01:37:55,292 --> 01:37:56,834 Come on. 1727 01:37:56,999 --> 01:37:57,999 Hands up. 1728 01:37:57,999 --> 01:38:02,083 And for $200 you can roll around in the cash with Rich. 1729 01:38:06,334 --> 01:38:12,459 All right, I need to go to the ATM but I'm doing it myself. 1730 01:38:12,459 --> 01:38:13,459 Hold on. 1731 01:38:14,334 --> 01:38:18,125 Tell me which ATM you're going to in case it's mine. 1732 01:38:18,292 --> 01:38:23,626 So I have here a collection of spoons. 1733 01:38:23,876 --> 01:38:28,918 Apparently to make can pancakes at fail panel you need a lot of spoons. 1734 01:38:28,999 --> 01:38:32,751 I have had them signed by the members of the fail panel. 1735 01:38:33,375 --> 01:38:34,792 You can. 1736 01:38:34,792 --> 01:38:35,959 There are no spoon. 1737 01:38:35,999 --> 01:38:40,375 You cannot unsee this shit. 1738 01:38:40,459 --> 01:38:48,959 Barnaby would be so proud. 1739 01:38:52,501 --> 01:39:02,209 You know, my partner over there is Securosis, Rich Mogull, 1740 01:39:02,209 --> 01:39:09,334 he's he's rolling around in the dough. 1741 01:39:09,334 --> 01:39:10,959 Wow, that escalated quickly. 1742 01:39:10,999 --> 01:39:14,083 That's a lot of money there. 1743 01:39:14,209 --> 01:39:19,999 So I got these three spoons and I got I don't know of us are there? 1744 01:39:19,999 --> 01:39:20,999 A lot. 1745 01:39:20,999 --> 01:39:21,999 All of us. 1746 01:39:22,375 --> 01:39:26,125 You can buy a spoon, you can buy a spoon that comes 1747 01:39:26,125 --> 01:39:29,999 with certain associated thank you. 1748 01:39:29,999 --> 01:39:31,083 A lot of water. 1749 01:39:31,250 --> 01:39:34,959 With not just the authentication token but also 1750 01:39:34,959 --> 01:39:38,292 the authorization, the larger the dollar value 1751 01:39:38,292 --> 01:39:43,375 the more authorization is placed upon the spoon such as the ability 1752 01:39:43,375 --> 01:39:47,584 to have Chris Hoff lick the spoon for you. 1753 01:39:50,334 --> 01:39:54,834 Or the ability to spank people with spoons. 1754 01:39:54,999 --> 01:39:59,999 You figure out what your off is. 1755 01:40:03,292 --> 01:40:05,542 Come up with the money and apparently we have 1756 01:40:05,542 --> 01:40:07,999 to let Dave Maynor talk again. 1757 01:40:08,250 --> 01:40:11,792 Before Dave starts, I want to thank you everyone for coming 1758 01:40:11,792 --> 01:40:15,083 and more importantly I want to thank the number of people such 1759 01:40:15,083 --> 01:40:17,999 as Liz and Martin and Jason and Jack who helped make 1760 01:40:17,999 --> 01:40:19,918 this possible. 1761 01:40:19,918 --> 01:40:22,667 We couldn't get these pancakes out to you without them. 1762 01:40:22,667 --> 01:40:32,167 Let's give a round of applause for helpers and also everyone who 1763 01:40:32,167 --> 01:40:44,000 donated beer for you guys to buy, thank you, everyone, thank you. 1764 01:40:44,000 --> 01:40:45,918 Please clean up after yourselves. 1765 01:40:45,918 --> 01:40:46,542 ALEX ROTHMAN: Jack just pointed out to me that when Rich was rolling 1766 01:40:46,542 --> 01:40:49,792 around in the money he was reliving his days at Gartner. 1767 01:40:51,876 --> 01:40:55,876 Gartner jokes is always funny.hell. 1768 01:40:55,876 --> 01:40:59,834 DAVE MAYNOR: Hello, everybody, my name is Dave Maynor. 1769 01:40:59,834 --> 01:41:04,334 Most of you know me as shit head. 1770 01:41:05,083 --> 01:41:09,083 I'd like to start out by asking everybody what do I have 1771 01:41:09,083 --> 01:41:11,792 to do with fiberoptics? 1772 01:41:14,334 --> 01:41:17,584 The answer is absolutely nothing. 1773 01:41:17,959 --> 01:41:20,584 How many people are here last year for the fail panel. 1774 01:41:20,999 --> 01:41:23,083 I can't believe you came back. 1775 01:41:23,083 --> 01:41:24,209 You foolish people. 1776 01:41:24,626 --> 01:41:30,542 Last year I did this thing with the iBot enhancing. 1777 01:41:32,667 --> 01:41:37,250 So I had become known to some people as the fail whisperer. 1778 01:41:37,709 --> 01:41:41,167 I'm very good at inducing fail in things. 1779 01:41:41,167 --> 01:41:44,292 In fact, here's a picture of me that has failed. 1780 01:41:44,292 --> 01:41:45,292 Look at that. 1781 01:41:45,292 --> 01:41:46,542 I have two chins. 1782 01:41:47,083 --> 01:41:50,417 Fail, I'm also wearing a tie, fail. 1783 01:41:51,083 --> 01:41:56,542 So I work at fail like most artists work in oils. 1784 01:41:56,876 --> 01:42:00,876 I get to pen test things so I fail a lot. 1785 01:42:01,375 --> 01:42:04,209 One example is that many years ago Jacob 1786 01:42:04,209 --> 01:42:07,584 Applebaum who is a complete media whore wanted 1787 01:42:07,584 --> 01:42:09,584 to distribute. 1788 01:42:12,459 --> 01:42:16,334 He's stopped being a media whore and now become a media darling. 1789 01:42:19,083 --> 01:42:22,999 He wanted to prove something in CC and redacted information. 1790 01:42:25,334 --> 01:42:27,250 I thought this was stupid. 1791 01:42:27,375 --> 01:42:31,334 So I wrote a blog post about it and it says document redacted. 1792 01:42:31,584 --> 01:42:34,626 So the funny thing about this is that while you can redact large 1793 01:42:34,626 --> 01:42:38,667 portions of the document, you can redact the font size. 1794 01:42:38,834 --> 01:42:42,292 So you can figure out how many letters are 1795 01:42:42,292 --> 01:42:46,459 in each word of small redacted blogs. 1796 01:42:46,751 --> 01:42:49,459 It was pretty easy to find out. 1797 01:42:49,459 --> 01:42:51,999 So we were able to before his big CC presentation 1798 01:42:51,999 --> 01:42:54,459 decipher his message. 1799 01:42:54,959 --> 01:42:56,918 And what did the message say? 1800 01:42:59,083 --> 01:43:00,626 I found a new way to apply hair product 1801 01:43:00,626 --> 01:43:03,292 to make it look like I just rolled out of bed. 1802 01:43:05,999 --> 01:43:07,417 No seriously. 1803 01:43:08,542 --> 01:43:12,250 He was talking about something with MD5. 1804 01:43:12,876 --> 01:43:16,999 Funny thing he posted something he thought was secure and everybody 1805 01:43:16,999 --> 01:43:19,209 read it ahead of time. 1806 01:43:19,250 --> 01:43:21,292 I'm going through this because I'm going to go 1807 01:43:21,292 --> 01:43:24,375 through my credentials about why I have fails. 1808 01:43:24,959 --> 01:43:27,667 But this year I have no fail to offer I only have success 1809 01:43:27,667 --> 01:43:31,083 and unfortunately, my success was horrible. 1810 01:43:31,459 --> 01:43:34,292 So that was a fail. 1811 01:43:34,876 --> 01:43:39,999 So one quick story of a recent pen test we had gone right, 1812 01:43:39,999 --> 01:43:46,918 I can't really tell you the client but it's a really funny thing when we 1813 01:43:46,918 --> 01:43:52,792 came in, they were gung ho, they were ready for us. 1814 01:43:52,792 --> 01:43:56,584 They they let us know ahead of time how we weren't doing anything, 1815 01:43:56,584 --> 01:44:00,751 we weren't getting in or breaking anything. 1816 01:44:01,083 --> 01:44:03,083 So the window comes around, 5 7 minutes 1817 01:44:03,083 --> 01:44:05,999 into the window we had broken into everything, 1818 01:44:05,999 --> 01:44:08,999 we had domain admin remotely. 1819 01:44:08,999 --> 01:44:10,999 So I didn't know what else to do. 1820 01:44:10,999 --> 01:44:14,999 Normally at this point you start writing a report but, if you know me, I don't 1821 01:44:14,999 --> 01:44:18,125 like to write because I can't read which means I'll do 1822 01:44:18,125 --> 01:44:21,999 anything to avoid writing a report, which brings us to calling 1823 01:44:21,999 --> 01:44:25,999 a registrar and I can't mention the registrar's name but we called 1824 01:44:25,999 --> 01:44:29,417 the registrar and I in my greatest southern hick voice went 1825 01:44:29,417 --> 01:44:33,083 oh, my God my boss is in tex and our site just crashed, I have 1826 01:44:33,083 --> 01:44:37,292 to change the DNS over and I don't have the password. 1827 01:44:37,292 --> 01:44:38,542 Can you help me out. 1828 01:44:39,626 --> 01:44:41,999 The person who sounded like they were 1829 01:44:41,999 --> 01:44:45,292 in Kansas or Washington or somewhere said well gosh, 1830 01:44:45,292 --> 01:44:48,459 you need the password to do that. 1831 01:44:48,459 --> 01:44:50,292 I said well I don't have the password. 1832 01:44:50,292 --> 01:44:52,209 My boss is in turkey Caracas. 1833 01:44:52,209 --> 01:44:55,375 I was trying to channel a Baptist preacher. 1834 01:44:55,501 --> 01:44:59,709 Nobody wants to mess with a man of God. 1835 01:45:00,083 --> 01:45:04,459 Is there anything you can prove you work for this company? 1836 01:45:04,626 --> 01:45:06,083 What do you want, son? 1837 01:45:06,083 --> 01:45:08,083 What can I get for you. 1838 01:45:08,083 --> 01:45:11,334 A little exaggeration, he said can you send me an e mail 1839 01:45:11,334 --> 01:45:15,876 from your work account or can you put a page on the Web site 1840 01:45:15,876 --> 01:45:19,751 to prove that you have control over it. 1841 01:45:19,751 --> 01:45:21,334 Well, yes, son, I can. 1842 01:45:21,334 --> 01:45:22,459 Let me go right ahead. 1843 01:45:22,999 --> 01:45:29,751 And sense I had domain admin it was easy, you right click in the ISS directly. 1844 01:45:34,999 --> 01:45:37,375 I feel a disturbance in the force. 1845 01:45:37,375 --> 01:45:40,501 It's a small disturbance, more of a ripple actually. 1846 01:45:41,083 --> 01:45:43,999 So I right click in the ISS directory. 1847 01:45:43,999 --> 01:45:47,584 I create a file called Go Daddy wait, I can't say the name. 1848 01:45:47,584 --> 01:45:52,751 I right click on the directory. 1849 01:45:52,751 --> 01:45:53,751 Create a file. 1850 01:45:53,751 --> 01:45:54,751 And I say redacted. 1851 01:45:55,834 --> 01:45:59,167 Does this prove that I work for the company? 1852 01:45:59,167 --> 01:46:00,167 I give him the URL. 1853 01:46:00,167 --> 01:46:04,876 He goes and looks at it and said yeah, sure and gives me the password. 1854 01:46:05,999 --> 01:46:10,334 To which I spent the rest of the night figuring out how 1855 01:46:10,334 --> 01:46:14,501 to do split routing with e mail so I can get a copy 1856 01:46:14,501 --> 01:46:18,083 of all e mail coming in via DNS. 1857 01:46:18,083 --> 01:46:21,083 I called him the next morning at 8:00 a.m. 1858 01:46:21,083 --> 01:46:23,125 and asked system admin why he hasn't gotten any e mail 1859 01:46:23,125 --> 01:46:24,999 since midnight. 1860 01:46:25,083 --> 01:46:27,459 Game over, man. 1861 01:46:27,626 --> 01:46:29,250 Game over. 1862 01:46:29,375 --> 01:46:31,083 They shocked. 1863 01:46:31,167 --> 01:46:32,501 They were appalled. 1864 01:46:34,999 --> 01:46:37,751 Some would say they were shocked and appalled. 1865 01:46:37,999 --> 01:46:40,459 Were they awe'd? 1866 01:46:40,459 --> 01:46:44,417 No, they were normal. 1867 01:46:44,417 --> 01:46:48,999 Which brings me quickly to why I have no this is all funny, 1868 01:46:48,999 --> 01:46:51,999 but I have wait, what? 1869 01:46:51,999 --> 01:46:52,999 Time. 1870 01:46:52,999 --> 01:46:55,209 I have no actual fail this year to talk about. 1871 01:46:55,209 --> 01:46:59,999 Last year I did a trick and it was a very funny magic trick. 1872 01:46:59,999 --> 01:47:00,999 I did two tricks. 1873 01:47:01,167 --> 01:47:03,584 Well, one guy was named rich, he didn't pay well, 1874 01:47:03,584 --> 01:47:06,459 but then again I didn't have to do much. 1875 01:47:08,584 --> 01:47:10,292 It was over quick. 1876 01:47:10,334 --> 01:47:13,918 So I did this trick with an iPod where I could be 1877 01:47:13,918 --> 01:47:17,999 within 100 meters of every jukebox that us ooh uses 1878 01:47:17,999 --> 01:47:22,959 an app and I can make all the boxes play oompah. 1879 01:47:25,667 --> 01:47:29,167 Any time somebody would check Foursquare I'd find a jukebox 1880 01:47:29,167 --> 01:47:31,125 and play oompah. 1881 01:47:31,125 --> 01:47:32,626 I thought it was hilarious. 1882 01:47:32,626 --> 01:47:35,334 So Chris Hoff tweeted where he was going 1883 01:47:35,334 --> 01:47:42,375 to a bar and minutes later Dave hacked his location on a computer 1884 01:47:42,375 --> 01:47:47,375 and played oompah on a local jukebox. 1885 01:47:47,375 --> 01:47:48,375 So that's. 1886 01:47:48,375 --> 01:47:49,999 DAVE MAYNOR: That was funny. 1887 01:47:49,999 --> 01:47:53,083 If you look at video and audio from last year, 1888 01:47:53,083 --> 01:47:56,667 the last thing I say before I walk off stage 1889 01:47:56,667 --> 01:48:02,999 is "executives use jukebox plays to determine how popular a group is. 1890 01:48:02,999 --> 01:48:09,083 It's my calling in life to get Hanson to release a new album." 1891 01:48:09,083 --> 01:48:10,459 See, I thought I was joking. 1892 01:48:11,792 --> 01:48:14,125 I didn't believe in the power of the I just wanted 1893 01:48:14,125 --> 01:48:16,626 to put this picture up again. 1894 01:48:16,626 --> 01:48:18,125 There was a chick sitting on my lab when I figured this 1895 01:48:18,125 --> 01:48:20,125 out and she had a gun. 1896 01:48:20,125 --> 01:48:24,417 I was like it deserves to be at the presentation two years in a row. 1897 01:48:24,417 --> 01:48:27,083 But I can't believe in the power of the fail panel. 1898 01:48:27,083 --> 01:48:29,667 So I want to let you all know, I am witnessing to you 1899 01:48:29,667 --> 01:48:32,584 the fail panel power is real. 1900 01:48:32,751 --> 01:48:34,751 It is real. 1901 01:48:34,751 --> 01:48:36,375 It is so real. 1902 01:48:36,375 --> 01:48:40,999 Hanson released a new album, look at the date. 1903 01:48:40,999 --> 01:48:43,125 Worship the fail panel. 1904 01:48:43,125 --> 01:48:46,459 We change the world here every summer. 1905 01:49:02,250 --> 01:49:03,999 I want you to know because we don't do it 1906 01:49:03,999 --> 01:49:07,417 because we're egotistical sons of bitches like Rob Graham. 1907 01:49:07,667 --> 01:49:14,876 We do it because we're trying to help everyone have a better life. 1908 01:49:14,876 --> 01:49:19,375 And I believe and I believe Hanson will have nothing to do with that. 1909 01:49:19,751 --> 01:49:21,792 Thank you. 1910 01:49:21,999 --> 01:49:27,125 (cheers and applause) Thank you. 1911 01:49:27,459 --> 01:49:32,542 But Dave, what does Hanson have to do with fiberoptics? 1912 01:49:32,542 --> 01:49:33,542 Get the butter. 1913 01:49:33,542 --> 01:49:36,501 Oh, my God. 1914 01:49:36,999 --> 01:49:43,792 That's how rock stars do it. 1915 01:49:44,083 --> 01:49:49,751 It burns., oh, it's just him. 1916 01:49:49,999 --> 01:49:53,459 Do not want. 1917 01:49:53,792 --> 01:49:56,542 You know what? 1918 01:49:56,834 --> 01:50:01,667 I have never, never seen a crowd throw a Bono shirt back. 1919 01:50:01,667 --> 01:50:05,167 I'm going to tell you right there we have very polite fans. 1920 01:50:05,167 --> 01:50:06,417 Thank you, everyone. 1921 01:50:06,417 --> 01:50:07,834 Enjoy the rest of the show. 1922 01:50:07,834 --> 01:50:10,667 All right, who wants to lick the butter off my nibbles. 1923 01:50:10,667 --> 01:50:12,876 I promise I won't get no hair in your teeth. 1924 01:50:12,876 --> 01:50:14,083 I don't promise that at all. 1925 01:50:14,083 --> 01:50:15,709 It's only butter flavored. 1926 01:50:15,709 --> 01:50:18,709 We do have pancake leftovers such as syrup, jelly, nuts. 1927 01:50:18,709 --> 01:50:19,709 Napkins. 1928 01:50:19,709 --> 01:50:22,501 Throw money in the bucket on the way out and take some. 1929 01:50:22,501 --> 01:50:23,999 We do not want to take it home. 1930 01:50:23,999 --> 01:50:25,209 We have extra beer, too. 1931 01:50:25,209 --> 01:50:26,209 And syrup.