00:00:00.042-->00:00:05.833 >>So this talk is Def Con 101 it’s a panel and they’re gonna teach you guys how to Def Con 00:00:05.833-->00:00:10.417 appropriately so hope you guys get something out of this [Audience hoots] and ah I’m 00:00:10.417-->00:00:15.417 going to let these guys introduce themselves. >>There’s dance lights, just in case. So 00:00:19.583-->00:00:24.583 alright we’re going to start this off by throwing out a few t-shirts [Audience hoots and 00:00:49.667-->00:00:54.667 claps]. That’s the kind of enthusiasm we should have for talks! >>When do we get to whip 00:01:01.000-->00:01:06.000 the coins out? >> Yep we’ll >>Yeah, we’ll be throwing out challenge coins too. Alright how 00:01:10.458-->00:01:17.125 many people in here are brand new to Def Con [] that is awesome there are lot of you and 00:01:17.125-->00:01:22.667 every single one of you should be proud that you’re a Noob. So as you can see on the slide, 00:01:22.667-->00:01:28.833 welcome to Las Vegas. Pace yourself if you’ve never been here before [laughter] Trust me 00:01:28.833-->00:01:33.875 the first time I was here I didn’t know. I thought ah, this was really cool and then I end 00:01:33.875-->00:01:38.333 up in a cab and the cabby’s going hey, you fell asleep I don’t know where you’re supposed 00:01:38.333-->00:01:43.333 to go. [Laughter] Alright, in Def Con everyone is a Noob, ah at something you know this is ah 00:01:48.708-->00:01:55.583 what we wanna do when you come to Def Con is get you to learn stuff. That’s why you’re here 00:01:55.583-->00:02:00.417 you’re not here for any other reason other than to learn. If you’re here for a different 00:02:00.417-->00:02:06.083 reason then you spent $260 for that reason but you might as well take advantage of the fact 00:02:06.083-->00:02:12.375 that there, Def Con has a lot to offer. And on the bottom DGAF somebody says that you’re a 00:02:12.375-->00:02:17.375 Noob, don’t give a f*k.[audience applauses] Here’s something that I probably should have said to 00:02:23.333-->00:02:28.333 start this off, there may be one or two cuss words in this. [Laughter] You know it’s a 00:02:30.917-->00:02:36.125 serious talk but it’s not a serious talk. We encourage people to participate, we 00:02:36.125-->00:02:40.917 encourage you guys to participate and there will be active participation at the end 00:02:40.917-->00:02:45.917 of this talk. >> That’s not very authoritative >>Yeah >> There will be active participation! >> 00:02:48.667-->00:02:53.333 [Laughs] in case you missed that, that was authoritative. There will be participation! 00:02:53.333-->00:02:59.042 This is a desert, stay hydrated and if your pee looks like Guinness you are in bad 00:02:59.042-->00:03:04.042 shape.[Audience laughs] There are water stations all over the place. There are ah bars all 00:03:06.542-->00:03:12.792 over the place. Um, try and mix it up, don’t always hit the bar. But otherwise >> There’s water 00:03:12.792-->00:03:17.208 at the bar too. >>Yeah you can get water at the bar but you know try and mix it up don’t 00:03:17.208-->00:03:22.208 always get alcohol. >> Beer or water >>What’s >>Solid plan >>Yeah >>Beer or water? No, both 00:03:25.417-->00:03:30.417 get em both going and if you ah read the book ‘Dune’ then you can talk about recycling. >>or 00:03:33.292-->00:03:38.292 just buy a Bud Light it’s premixed for you >> [Laughter] Alright there are simple rules 00:03:40.500-->00:03:45.500 ah surviving at Def Con this is a a countdown. It’s important, you need to get at least three 00:03:47.667-->00:03:53.500 hours sleep at night. A, my second Def Con here I participated in capture the 00:03:53.500-->00:03:59.750 flag. That year they thought it would be fun to make Capture the Flag, be around the clock. So I 00:03:59.750-->00:04:05.875 didn’t get to sleep for 36 hours and then promptly missed the rest of Def Con. So, you know, 00:04:05.875-->00:04:10.833 it’s gonna be important that you get a little bit of ah rest, also it keeps your brain ah 00:04:10.833-->00:04:17.083 working properly, so you’re not addled all the time. [pause] You should eat at least two meals a 00:04:17.083-->00:04:23.375 day, it is easy, when you’re at Def Con, to forget to eat because you’re doing things, 00:04:23.375-->00:04:26.917 you’re running from talk to talk, you’re trying to make sure you’re in the front row here. 00:04:26.917-->00:04:32.583 And you know it’s gonna be ah challenging, but make sure you take time for yourself, make 00:04:32.583-->00:04:36.500 sure you take time to eat. >>I don’t know looking over this crowd, it’s dismal. >>Here’s an 00:04:36.500-->00:04:42.792 important one. Please bathe at least once a day. You are in the desert you are going to sweat 00:04:42.792-->00:04:49.792 and you are going to, you know, stink if you sweat. Sorry there are only very few people that I 00:04:49.792-->00:04:56.000 know that actually don’t stink when they sweat. So, um, make sure you bathe at least once a 00:04:56.000-->00:05:01.000 day and ah, wash your hands too. Um, this one is really important I can’t stress it enough in fact 00:05:04.208-->00:05:09.667 we’ll get to more, a little bit more to that um in a little bit. I would like to talk about 00:05:09.667-->00:05:14.750 shirts. We threw out a bunch of shirts those shirts are a little long, um please make sure you 00:05:14.750-->00:05:19.750 wear a shirt that is the right size. Under-boob is sexy, underbelly is not. [Audience 00:05:22.000-->00:05:28.250 laugh] >> Speak for yourself >>[Laughter] Alright again, washing your hands. The Def Con 00:05:28.250-->00:05:33.000 crud, for those of you who’ve never been here before, you’ve probably heard a story about, 00:05:33.000-->00:05:36.875 stories about people who leave and then they get sick and then they’re sick for like a week and 00:05:36.875-->00:05:41.750 they can’t shake it. And, you know, it might be from Def Con, it might be from the aeroplane, 00:05:41.750-->00:05:46.750 it might be from anything in the world. But an important rule of thumb, fist you’re your friends. 00:05:50.250-->00:05:55.250 [Audience laughs] fist them often. [Pause, audience member responds] Dude, Um, you can’t 00:05:57.375-->00:06:01.667 really, you may not be able to see it , but that little story says, there was a scientific 00:06:01.667-->00:06:06.667 study that is says 90% fewer ah chance of catching germs if you fist people rather than shake 00:06:09.167-->00:06:14.167 their hands. So, seriously, wash your damn hands and fist your friends. [Pause] Some simple 00:06:20.250-->00:06:25.250 rules, [Laughter] don’t be a dick, [pause and laughter], this guy [laughter]. There’s some 00:06:29.458-->00:06:34.458 simple basics, you know, when you’re, there are going to be 20 000 plus people here, I hope and 00:06:37.333-->00:06:43.417 you know when you’re doing that you have to [stutter] just some common courtesy. Hold the door; 00:06:43.417-->00:06:48.500 because people are pouring in don’t let the door slam on somebody. You know, make sure 00:06:48.500-->00:06:53.250 that you keep your head up don’t get your head in the program or have your head buried in the 00:06:53.250-->00:06:59.292 phone. Because there are, will be people that will walk right into you and remind you that you 00:06:59.292-->00:07:05.500 should’ve kept your head up. Um, pay attention, pay attention to everything’s that’s around you. 00:07:05.500-->00:07:11.167 Don’t block the hallways you’ll notice tomorrow that, you know while the hallways are pretty 00:07:11.167-->00:07:16.500 easy to navigate right now, tomorrow they’re gonna be a lot harder to navigate. And don’t 00:07:16.500-->00:07:22.000 stand at the base of the escalator, fortunately the hotel scheduled some maintenance on 00:07:22.000-->00:07:27.167 the escalators ah for this weekend, so that means that three of them or four of them or 00:07:27.167-->00:07:31.625 however many of them are out. So it’s gonna be really important, the Goons are going to help you 00:07:31.625-->00:07:36.708 get around and navigate and just make sure that you don’t decide to stop and have a family 00:07:36.708-->00:07:41.708 reunion at the bottom of the escalator. [Pause] Please don’t be an ass hat, do not ruins 00:07:44.167-->00:07:49.083 everyone’s time. You may think something is funny, like we might be up here and I might 00:07:49.083-->00:07:54.875 make a joke I might think it’s funny, you might not, you may take offense. I’m the speaker so 00:07:54.875-->00:07:59.875 I get to do that, but please don’t, try not to ruin everybody else’s time. An important rule, 00:08:02.375-->00:08:07.375 don’t heckle, [pause] kay just checkin. [Laughter] If you don’t agree with a something in the 00:08:09.875-->00:08:14.458 talk, if you think that, you know, something is way off base or you know you have some other 00:08:14.458-->00:08:19.542 different piece of information, that’s okay. You have an opportunity to speak to the 00:08:19.542-->00:08:25.833 speaker afterwards and the speakers are supposed to go to the speaker room um to do some 00:08:25.833-->00:08:30.250 speaking, but none of them ever do. We just hang out right here on the side. [Laughter] >>No we 00:08:30.250-->00:08:35.250 don’t. >> Yeah, also don’t be an ass hat. Also, ah, another thing, you’re gonna come up and 00:08:39.208-->00:08:42.917 you’re gonna see your friends and for a lot of people Def Con is the one place where they see 00:08:42.917-->00:08:48.125 people once a year. You know, the rest of the time everyone lives on the computer out in the 00:08:48.125-->00:08:54.500 interwebs, ah, inner tubes. If you’re gonna hug somebody make sure that they’re ready for that 00:08:54.500-->00:09:00.458 hug. You know, don’t go up and try and hug somebody and then they get Tyrannosaurus Rex arms 00:09:00.458-->00:09:05.458 because they’re you know, not comfortable with that. Phones and wireless, you’re at a hacker 00:09:09.667-->00:09:14.958 convention man, if you haven’t taken care of all of that stuff, updating your phone, turning 00:09:14.958-->00:09:21.667 your wireless, making sure your Bluetooth is set properly, all those things. You know, it’s 00:09:21.667-->00:09:26.667 gonna be a, a problem for you. So, check that. You probably should have updated things 00:09:29.083-->00:09:34.083 before now. Um, also with pictures, everybody has a phone, everybody’s phone has a camera 00:09:36.292-->00:09:42.167 and I say everybody that might be hyperbole, but for now let’s assume that everyone has a phone 00:09:42.167-->00:09:46.333 with a camera in it. You’re gonna be in a picture or two, there are some people who that’s 00:09:46.333-->00:09:51.917 their job. You’re gonna be in a picture or two right now. If you don’t wanna be in a picture, ask 00:09:51.917-->00:09:58.125 that person nicely and ask them to delete it. If it really is a problem, you can always find a 00:09:58.125-->00:10:04.250 Goon, but let’s be honest you’re in a public place so you don’t have a whole lot of leg to stand 00:10:04.250-->00:10:09.250 on. This is a different conference than most security conferences, we don’t have tons 00:10:13.917-->00:10:19.208 of giveaways, we don’t have corporate sponsors giving stuff away. So if you see something, 00:10:19.208-->00:10:24.208 chances are it’s not free. >> Anyone want a free T-shirt? [Audience responds] >>Giving is 00:10:30.333-->00:10:35.333 different from taking. [Laughter] Alright, Def Con, there’s a lot of stuff going on. 00:10:38.167-->00:10:42.000 That we have a lot of tracks, there are a lot of talks. I think we have more talks Nikita, 00:10:42.000-->00:10:46.000 than we ever have? We’re gonna >> Lie and say we do >> Yeah, we’re gonna lie and say we do 00:10:46.000-->00:10:51.000 >>Yeah that’s fine >>Um, but you need to have a plan. Ah, look at your program, make sure when 00:10:53.417-->00:10:58.667 you’re reading your program you know what’s going on. Um, try and identify where you need to 00:10:58.667-->00:11:03.667 go because there’s a lot of space too. Ah, um, I covered, ah six and a half miles yesterday, 00:11:06.500-->00:11:13.000 just walking the space. Um, also hacker trackers an awesome program, it’s an app for your 00:11:13.000-->00:11:19.167 phone. You can get it online, ah, um, the, ah app store, you can get it on Google Play, you 00:11:19.167-->00:11:25.875 can get it, um, in these really bright lights [Laughter]. Um, you know you probably should’ve 00:11:25.875-->00:11:30.875 downloaded it before now. Again the talks fill up quickly, you can see a lot of people back 00:11:30.875-->00:11:35.125 there. The Goons are doing a good job, speaker Goons and other Goons making sure that 00:11:35.125-->00:11:40.125 people aren’t, ah standing in the isles and planting themselves against the wall. Um, 00:11:42.125-->00:11:47.542 so you might consider finding ah the source of knowledge and purchasing the videos. If 00:11:47.542-->00:11:51.917 they’re here, hopefully? >>They’re here >>Okay, awesome. >>They’ll have a booth in the 00:11:51.917-->00:11:57.292 hallway too. >>Just a word, ah about the tracker app, ah Whitney the champion, short 00:11:57.292-->00:12:02.625 stacks, she’s the one that created the original one, ah, she turned over the, ah, 00:12:02.625-->00:12:07.292 android, ah, branch of it to somebody else. Again this is something you should’ve have 00:12:07.292-->00:12:14.000 downloaded before, but it is pretty awesome it does make things a lot easier. Alright, 00:12:14.000-->00:12:19.000 there are tons of talks. Um, this handsome person that you see in that picture, I’m giving 00:12:21.708-->00:12:28.500 a talk, there are tons, so again I just want to make sure that everybody has a plan. >> You 00:12:28.500-->00:12:33.542 know what, that everybody does have a plan >> Yeah >>Till they get punched in the mouth >>Yeah, 00:12:33.542-->00:12:38.583 Mike Tyson is going to be in Mandalay Bay tomorrow. >> Is he really? >>Yeah, pretty neat. All 00:12:38.583-->00:12:44.417 right, the villages, there are a ton of villages. I’m not gonna read them all, but I will read 00:12:44.417-->00:12:50.625 as many as it takes. [Laughter] Um, some some of the highlights: Biohacking Village, Crypto and 00:12:50.625-->00:12:56.542 Privacy Village, you heard about that from Trey. Ah, Hardware Hacking Village, ICS Village, ah 00:12:56.542-->00:13:03.375 the Lockpick Village is very popular. Um, Recon Village is new. Ah, the Skytalks are not 00:13:03.375-->00:13:08.375 new, they’ve been around. Roots are ah, is, um, Def Con for kids, ah, um and then the Voting 00:13:11.542-->00:13:17.417 Machine Hacking Village is also brand new. This is something that, ah, Dark Tangent decided 00:13:17.417-->00:13:23.292 that he wanted to ‘put up or shut up’ he wanted people to actually be able to test to see 00:13:23.292-->00:13:28.042 whether or not the um, voting machines can be hacked. So this is something that’s going to be 00:13:28.042-->00:13:34.458 really interesting and followed closely by the press. And Wi-Fi Village, I was told that if I 00:13:34.458-->00:13:38.958 did not mention Wi-Fi Village, somebody would be really disappointed. But Wi-Fi Village 00:13:38.958-->00:13:44.750 is actually really cool, some of the stuff that they’re doing, um, is pretty fascinating and 00:13:44.750-->00:13:49.750 I’m a Noob at that. [Pause] Nothing, alright. There are too many contests to list, you know, 00:13:52.667-->00:13:58.333 contests and events is all over the place, but I do want to highlight a few; Capture The 00:13:58.333-->00:14:03.333 Flag, um, people love it. Um, there is no Badge Hack this year, um, which is fine because 00:14:06.417-->00:14:12.625 you can hack the contests. This is Def Con, you should be hacking everything you can. Um, 00:14:12.625-->00:14:17.625 and the contests, ah, is included. Alright, hack everything you can that doesn’t 00:14:17.625-->00:14:22.625 get you arrested. [Pause] Workshops and demos, I bet, how many people new that you can 00:14:25.833-->00:14:30.833 even get, um, hands on experience here at Def Con? Anybody, few people? Yeah, you 00:14:33.083-->00:14:37.333 can sign up for workshops you can’t sign up form now they’re all sold out, but you could’ve 00:14:37.333-->00:14:43.042 signed up for them. This is something to think about for the future. Um, and then demo labs, 00:14:43.042-->00:14:48.042 ah, is actually pretty cool, ah, these are, ah, top talks about tools and it’s not enough to be 00:14:50.458-->00:14:55.458 a big talk but it’s specifically about tools and you get to experience it ,um, hands on. 00:14:58.250-->00:15:03.625 Swag and vendor, I already said Def Con is unique; Def Con is not like Blackhat as an example. 00:15:03.625-->00:15:08.292 Ah, the people that are in the swag, and the people that are in the vendor area, they are 00:15:08.292-->00:15:13.667 selling here, they’re selling stuff that support their business, their businesses 00:15:13.667-->00:15:19.042 support the community in general. Um, you may see some corporate organizations in there 00:15:19.042-->00:15:25.833 but they have ties back to the, ah, community. Free stuff for the community, as an example, 00:15:25.833-->00:15:32.708 Pony Express, they’ve been, they’ve been a vendor here since Def Con 11, Chris? >>Sounds 00:15:32.708-->00:15:37.708 legit >> Okay, yeah, a long time, back when they were 100% open source. And you know, ah, 00:15:40.167-->00:15:45.167 they still provide their product open source. [Pause] Alright, I’m gonna double dog dare you 00:15:48.583-->00:15:53.583 guys, you need to reach out. I’m, take a second, pretend, yes you can reach out. Pretend the 00:15:57.417-->00:16:01.458 [pause] all of the funny people reaching out, thank you, you. I’m going to go back to my 00:16:01.458-->00:16:06.458 previous slide, um, take a second to introduce yourself to the person next to you. And 00:16:08.667-->00:16:13.667 seriously, take a second to introduce yourself to the person next to you. [Audience responds 00:16:27.542-->00:16:32.542 to each other] I know, isn’t it great, this is awesome. This is something you guys should be 00:16:48.417-->00:16:53.417 doing all weekend long. [Pause] What’s that? >> Except during talks >>Yeah, don’t do during 00:16:55.458-->00:17:01.250 talks unless the speaker, don’t do it in the bathroom. You know introduce yourselves and make 00:17:01.250-->00:17:06.375 sure you get to know some people. Put yourself out there, and find somebody that you have 00:17:06.375-->00:17:11.667 something in common with. The reason I say this, there are a lot of people who come to Def 00:17:11.667-->00:17:16.667 Con by themselves. This is, ah, you guys can stop introducing yourselves. [Laughter] There are 00:17:19.958-->00:17:25.500 a lot of people who come here by themselves; they don’t have people to hang out with. And 00:17:25.500-->00:17:30.500 it’s gonna be, actually, really, cool to make this a community, to make sure that everybody here 00:17:32.542-->00:17:37.792 has something they have in, ah, common with. Find somebody, whether you’re from the same 00:17:37.792-->00:17:42.958 country, whether you from a different city, it doesn’t matter you know, if you guys do 00:17:42.958-->00:17:48.792 all the same if you have the same little niche thing to do. It’s kind of cool to be able to, 00:17:48.792-->00:17:53.792 ah, get in touch with people. I’m also going to triple dog dare you. I want you guys to 00:17:56.583-->00:18:01.583 consider, doing something you’ve never done before. You know, um, you might not know it, but I 00:18:05.750-->00:18:11.417 have social anxiety. Ah, conversations with me, if I don’t know you, generally go, 00:18:11.417-->00:18:18.042 ‘Hi, I’m Mike’ [Pause] >> Hi Mike >> Then there’s. Ah, hi Dare, how you doin. [Audience 00:18:18.042-->00:18:24.250 claps] And then, I know Dare, so I can have a conversation, but if not, there’s awkward silence. 00:18:24.250-->00:18:29.333 There might be an awkward hug, I don’t know, but you know, but still put yourself out there. 00:18:29.333-->00:18:35.125 This is is kind of important to be able to, ah, try and do something you’ve never done. 00:18:35.125-->00:18:40.792 Find experiences, you might find you really like them. Try one of the Villages and go to a party. 00:18:40.792-->00:18:45.750 Find a party and go to one. I’m gonna suggest a party, there’s a party right after this, called 00:18:45.750-->00:18:50.750 the Noob party. [Audience makes noise] Did you, did you turn your mike off? [Pause] >> Yeah 00:18:56.000-->00:19:01.000 >>That was all of us >> Free beer! >>free beer at the Noob party >> There you go, its 00:19:03.625-->00:19:08.250 back.[Audience claps] Um, Duo security and I’ve got another slide. Duo security, is 00:19:08.250-->00:19:14.833 sponsored, they’ve been kind enough to actually buy a bunch of kegs for this party. Um, so 00:19:14.833-->00:19:19.958 it’s free beer until the beer runs out, then its pay for the beer.[Audience applauses] That’s 00:19:19.958-->00:19:24.958 in the Octavius Ballroom[Audience applauses] And now I’m going to take a second, 00:19:28.000-->00:19:33.250 um, to have Priest come up here, he wants to talk about something. >> Um, actually I was 00:19:33.250-->00:19:38.250 gonna to introduce him, should I - >> You can talk there, we can hear you. [Pause] >>So there’s 00:19:44.292-->00:19:49.292 [pause], there’s, hi, I am standing up >> Be nice [Audience laughs] >> So there’s a, ah a 00:19:52.208-->00:19:57.417 lesser known team at Def Con, everyone knows that we have our Red Shirt Goons, they’re visible 00:19:57.417-->00:20:02.417 and you see them all the time and [Pause and laughter] Um, there’s, there’s another group 00:20:06.125-->00:20:11.625 here that is sort of a special operations team. Whereas every once in awhile we’ll have 00:20:11.625-->00:20:16.875 incidents where maybe somebody takes offense to something, somebody did something untoward. 00:20:16.875-->00:20:22.417 Ah you may not feel comfortable with something and I’ll let him talk about that. But we do have 00:20:22.417-->00:20:27.417 a team, even where it’s a Goon or ah, hotel staff, or another attendee. It doesn’t matter who 00:20:29.833-->00:20:34.833 it is, we have a neutral party that is not us that we can say well, our guys didn’t do that or 00:20:37.083-->00:20:41.708 what have you, that you can go to and you can talk to. And there are women on his team, 00:20:41.708-->00:20:47.625 there’s a lot of people you feel comfortable talking to and I’ll let him talk to you more about 00:20:47.625-->00:20:52.250 that. But this Priest, we just wanted to let you guys know because we don’t talk about it 00:20:52.250-->00:20:57.250 and so now’s the chance that we are. So there you go. [Audience applauses] >>Welcome to Def Con, 00:21:01.167-->00:21:06.167 can everybody hear me? [Audience responds] All the way in the back? Mike up? How’s that, is 00:21:09.000-->00:21:14.333 that better? [Audience claps and shouts] Okay, so some of you know who I am, raise your hand 00:21:14.333-->00:21:18.625 if you remember me from the old days. Okay, so those of you who don’t know, my handle, is 00:21:18.625-->00:21:23.625 Priest, and I’m the guy you’re probably going to see right before you go to jail. And my 00:21:26.333-->00:21:31.917 job is to help you stay out of trouble, basically. And for the last several years actually, we 00:21:31.917-->00:21:38.667 we’ve heard you guys talk about it and we wanted to put together a team that worked outside of 00:21:38.667-->00:21:42.375 the Goon squad. And by the way we don’t wear Steeler shirts we’ll actually wear Goon shirts. 00:21:42.375-->00:21:48.208 I’m gonna have my team, ah my team come up, half of my team come up. Gentlemen,[Pause] On 00:21:48.208-->00:21:54.208 stage please. We are here for you as attendees, like, like Nikita said if you have a 00:21:54.208-->00:21:59.208 problem with a Goon, you’ve a problem with the staff, you’ve a problem with an attendee, we’re 00:22:01.250-->00:22:07.875 here to help you with that and we’re here to address that. And we want to make sure that, um; 00:22:07.875-->00:22:11.583 you feel comfortable and safe talking to us and not have to worry that there’s some, as they 00:22:11.583-->00:22:17.083 say in the police department, that the thin blue wall or the blue wall, does exist. Think of 00:22:17.083-->00:22:22.583 us as internal affairs. So if someone does something, let us know. And, ah, like I said, this 00:22:22.583-->00:22:29.083 is about half of my team here, ah, we want to let you see our faces, unfortunately one of the 00:22:29.083-->00:22:33.458 women who are on the team, she cannot show her face, have pictures taken. But we will let 00:22:33.458-->00:22:38.417 you know we’ve all had diversity training, we’ve all had sexual harassment training. All those 00:22:38.417-->00:22:42.250 kinds of trainings where we’re here to help you make your way through whatever you need to 00:22:42.250-->00:22:48.708 make your way through and make sure you have a good convention experience. Bullying, ah, 00:22:48.708-->00:22:54.333 harassment, not tolerated, period, full stop. So come let us know if you want to find one 00:22:54.333-->00:23:00.125 of us go to one the information booth, grab anybody in a red shirt, Goon shirt, ask for 00:23:00.125-->00:23:06.167 Priest or one of Priest’s team. I’m here, I probably sleep about two hours per night and I’m here 00:23:06.167-->00:23:12.000 98% of the time. So come find us and we will make sure your issues are taken care of. And we 00:23:12.000-->00:23:15.625 just want to make sure that message is getting out, because it wasn’t getting out. And 00:23:15.625-->00:23:19.500 people were saying well how come this isn’t happening, well it has been. As Nikita said, we’ve 00:23:19.500-->00:23:24.542 just kind of kept it behind the scenes. Also I will probably do a ‘Spot the Fed’ or two this 00:23:24.542-->00:23:28.333 year, it’s a lot of fun for those of you who’ve been here before and saw one. You probably 00:23:28.333-->00:23:34.167 remember it’s where we bring a Fed up on stage and then I belittle embarrass them. Um, and 00:23:34.167-->00:23:38.208 do some comedy with them and they get, the shirts they get are actually one of the highest 00:23:38.208-->00:23:42.792 sought after shirts where I’ve seen actual FBI agents, are there FBI agents in the room? 00:23:42.792-->00:23:47.417 Raise your hand [Audience laughs] Ah, See, sometimes you can em, they’re not very bright, 00:23:47.417-->00:23:52.417 you know. [Audience laughs] Ah, agents will actually steal shirts from other agents. So if 00:23:54.792-->00:23:58.250 you spot a Fed, you can bring one forward. If we can do a ‘Spot the Fed’ it’s, it’s kind 00:23:58.250-->00:24:02.208 of a little bit of a, a fun thing to do while we’re at the conference, from the old days. 00:24:02.208-->00:24:07.625 That’s all of I’ve got and we’ll be available and on the floor from today until Sunday and I 00:24:07.625-->00:24:12.208 guess that you can just come find us. So everybody have a great Con, have a great time and 00:24:12.208-->00:24:17.208 we’ll see you on the floor. [Audience applauses] oh and, I’m sorry, we have, ah, someone who 00:24:22.083-->00:24:26.167 speaks Spanish, we have someone who speaks Mandarin, ah we have someone who speaks some German, 00:24:26.167-->00:24:29.042 so we’ve got some foreign language coverage as well if you’re, if you’re not 00:24:29.042-->00:24:32.208 comfortable speaking in the English language and want to speak in your own language. So 00:24:32.208-->00:24:37.208 like I said have a great Con guys. [Audience applauses] >>Thanks, Priest >>Thanks Priest 00:24:39.583-->00:24:44.583 and it actually is a perfect Segway. On the back of the shirts that we threw out, it 00:24:47.333-->00:24:53.792 says this word, courage and you notice it’s in a rainbow. It’s not just to celebrate, um, er 00:24:53.792-->00:24:58.792 the, LGBTQ community, it’s also to >> [Audience member comments] >>support anybody, any because 00:25:01.708-->00:25:06.708 Def Con has a bad rap and it’s not, it’s not true. Def Con supports diversity, Def Con 00:25:08.917-->00:25:15.667 encourages diversity, so you know this is one of the things and it, ah, they, is really 00:25:15.667-->00:25:20.083 important to us, especially on the panel, you know, we want to make sure that everybody 00:25:20.083-->00:25:25.083 understands. It doesn’t matter who you are, what, anything you are. What we care about is you 00:25:28.375-->00:25:35.292 and that’s it. Um, also have the courage to do the things the, the double god dare, the triple 00:25:35.292-->00:25:40.417 dog dare that I talked about before. Hopefully the introductions that you’ve made, 00:25:40.417-->00:25:46.042 ah, just a little bit ago, will encourage you guys to, you know, head on over to the Octavius, 00:25:46.042-->00:25:51.042 for the Noob party, another plug for free beer. And, you know, have a, have a beer and talk to 00:25:53.292-->00:25:58.292 each other. [Pause] What I’m gonna do now is, introduce the panel, the, we’re gonna talk 00:26:00.917-->00:26:06.625 about, um, our Def Con experiences, getting involved, how to get involved with Def 00:26:06.625-->00:26:10.833 Con, a lot of different things. I’ll introduce each of the different panel members by their 00:26:10.833-->00:26:15.833 handle and they can tell you if they wanna give you their real name. Um, and we’ll take a 00:26:15.833-->00:26:22.042 little bit [Pause] [Audience member comments] Okay, ah, actually, for, ah, just a 00:26:22.042-->00:26:27.042 second, we’re gonna bring up the female staff member of the, um special teams. [Pause] >>This 00:26:33.167-->00:26:40.042 is, Lady Hydra. Everybody, here’s Hydra [Audience applauses] I just wanna warn you 00:26:40.042-->00:26:46.167 all, she looks very innocent, but in the time it takes you to say, ‘my god she’s killing me’, 00:26:46.167-->00:26:49.333 she’s already ripped your heart out and shown it to you. [Audience laughs] So just be 00:26:49.333-->00:26:53.292 advised. She’s one of our Mandarin speakers, she’s also available, to, ah, to assist 00:26:53.292-->00:26:57.625 with any issues that come up, over what we talked about. So, again I want you guys to have a 00:26:57.625-->00:27:02.000 face, to go with the description, just so you know who you’re talking to. Thank 00:27:02.000-->00:27:07.000 you, sorry about that guys >> Thank you [Audience applauses] >>So here’s the panel. Wiseacre, 00:27:13.458-->00:27:18.625 that’s me, um, >> [Audience member hoots] >> My actual name is Mike and Mike is a more 00:27:18.625-->00:27:23.625 anonymous name than Wiseacre. Ah, [Audience laughs] and I got my handle, um, it was, ah, spoof 00:27:26.292-->00:27:31.292 of an NSAIC program back in 2000. There was a group that was trying to increase their cyber 00:27:34.542-->00:27:39.333 security and they decided that they were going to call themselves, ‘Blackacre’ and the 00:27:39.333-->00:27:45.500 tag was ‘where encryption lives’ and I thought that was the dumbest thing I’d ever read. So 00:27:45.500-->00:27:51.250 I made ‘Wiseacre’, ‘where the smartass lives’ [Audience laughs] because for those of you 00:27:51.250-->00:27:55.167 who don’t know, most people don’t know what a ‘Wiseacre’ is. It’s an old word for Smartass. 00:27:55.167-->00:28:00.167 Um, I got involved because of Roamer, ah, at Def Con. I had already been coming to Def Con 00:28:03.333-->00:28:08.333 as a participant, doing um Capture the Flag. I met Alex Rogan, and um Roamer and the 00:28:12.167-->00:28:17.375 next year because we played poker together and, and had a good time, he’s like why don’t 00:28:17.375-->00:28:23.667 you help me out in the vendor area. And ever since then it’s been kind of important to me to 00:28:23.667-->00:28:28.667 try and sell this whole idea of, how much you can get out of Def Con. Next is Roamer, I’ve 00:28:32.125-->00:28:37.125 already talked about him. We’ve got Shaggy over here, Malware Unicorn, Nikita, HighWiz and 00:28:43.083-->00:28:48.083 we’ll shoehorn Alex Rogen in there. Um, so, I’m gonna go ahead and introduce Roamer, he’s 00:28:51.167-->00:28:56.167 gonna talk for a little bit and then I’ll remind him when he’s done talking. [Pause] >>Alright, 00:28:59.417-->00:29:04.500 listen up you beautiful bitches, I’m about to f*k you up with some truth. [Audience hoots and 00:29:04.500-->00:29:09.792 applauses] So, my cast at the beginning of this how many of you guys are first time Def Con 00:29:09.792-->00:29:14.250 a ton of people, raise their hand. How many people, this is like their fifth Def Con or 00:29:14.250-->00:29:18.625 more? [Audience hoots] Sweet, I think it’s actually kind of cool that you guys are here, except 00:29:18.625-->00:29:23.458 for the for the front row people, those are just my friends. [Audience laughs] Um, 00:29:23.458-->00:29:28.458 how about 10, nice, sweet, 15? Nice, ah, so this is my eighteenth Def Con and every 00:29:33.417-->00:29:38.333 year I wonder why the f*k I do this. Um, this is believe it not, this is actually one of my 00:29:38.333-->00:29:44.250 second time attending Def Con. The other 16 times that I was here, ah, I worked as a Goon and 00:29:44.250-->00:29:50.958 then as of last year, retired. And actually realized Def Con’s a lot of fun, something I had 00:29:50.958-->00:29:56.917 not recognized before that so it’s kind of fun being one of you guys for a while. Um, you 00:29:56.917-->00:30:00.875 know, I really hadn’t thought a lot about what I was gonna say up here and then Mike kind of 00:30:00.875-->00:30:07.125 talked for a minute about, um, hacking the conference and I think that’s probably when I 00:30:07.125-->00:30:13.917 was, came up with the idea of doing Def Con 101. Ah what, 8 years ago? >> 9 >>9 years ago, I 00:30:13.917-->00:30:18.833 thought it was the dumbest idea I had ever heard of in my life. I’m like; why in the world would 00:30:18.833-->00:30:22.667 you have to tell people how to hack a conference? If they’re, if you have to do that then 00:30:22.667-->00:30:27.417 they’re clearly at the wrong conference. And it took me awhile in coming and actually 00:30:27.417-->00:30:32.750 watching this panel to kind of understand what he was doing and realize that it really does make 00:30:32.750-->00:30:36.958 a lot of sense and we can kinda help you guys, make, not make some of the dumb mistakes that 00:30:36.958-->00:30:42.000 we did when we first started coming here. Um, but the big one that Mike talked about is, is 00:30:42.000-->00:30:48.833 hacking the conference and, you know I guess I’ll kind of tell you guys a story from a few 00:30:48.833-->00:30:52.292 years ago when I first started, I was, ah working on a security team and then I ran the vendor 00:30:52.292-->00:30:57.292 area for 12 years? Yeah 12 years and then um, in that time frame I also ran, ah what, was 00:31:02.125-->00:31:05.750 probably the precursor to like what’s the Wireless Village now, but it was basically just the 00:31:05.750-->00:31:10.250 War driving contest and the War driving contest, and remember this is like a long ass time ago 00:31:10.250-->00:31:16.000 when War driving was actually something that was useful to do. Um, but it was one of these 00:31:16.000-->00:31:19.750 things that we were just kinda talking on IRC and said hey, we should actually do that. We got 00:31:19.750-->00:31:25.000 DT to kina sign off on it and did it. And the one thing that I did for the years that I ran it 00:31:25.000-->00:31:30.458 was, I always said that, you know, I had very, very minimal, very sparse rules on what ah, 00:31:30.458-->00:31:35.917 people could or couldn’t do. And, ah basically the scoring format and then I always said if 00:31:35.917-->00:31:41.125 it’s not specifically forbidden then it’s allowed. And that, like brought some of the coolest 00:31:41.125-->00:31:47.167 stuff that I’d ever seen on that contest. Like the first year, um, the Spoon group guys came up 00:31:47.167-->00:31:50.667 to me and they were like, hey it’s the War driving contest, but do we actually have to 00:31:50.667-->00:31:56.208 drive? And I’m like; I don’t know what else do you want to do? And they had a really cool 00:31:56.208-->00:32:00.958 idea, since, ah since you got unique points for every access or you got extra points for 00:32:00.958-->00:32:06.500 every unique access point you found that no other team did. Um, they contacted one of the 00:32:06.500-->00:32:10.583 local news stations and said hey, we can give you an exclusive on this, on this War 00:32:10.583-->00:32:14.250 driving thing, if you’ll fly us around in your helicopters so that we could actually pick up 00:32:14.250-->00:32:19.250 access points. [Audience laughs and claps] Is, they won, um [Audience laughs] and then, so 00:32:21.250-->00:32:26.250 then the next year, oh my god, you can’t fly. Um, added that rule in, then, um one of the 00:32:29.542-->00:32:34.542 guys came up to me and he’s like, I was reading through the rules and nowhere in there does 00:32:34.542-->00:32:41.375 it say it has to be Vegas. I was like, sh*t you’re right, it doesn’t [Audience laughs] so is 00:32:41.375-->00:32:47.000 it cool if I drive to L.A.? And I’m like, I don’t give a sh*t, if you wanna drive to L.A., more 00:32:47.000-->00:32:52.958 power to ya, sucks getting from here to there. Um, but they did and so one guy from the, ah, 00:32:52.958-->00:32:57.042 from the Wiggle Team drove all the way to L.A. all of his access points were unique and 00:32:57.042-->00:33:02.417 they won. And um, it was kind of weird, I was telling this exact same story last year, cause 00:33:02.417-->00:33:08.333 really like repeating myself, it’s a lot of fun. Um, and like there’s this girl freaking out 00:33:08.333-->00:33:12.250 like in the third row or something like that. She’s like doing this sh*t and I’m like, 00:33:12.250-->00:33:17.625 what the hell’s going on, so afterward she comes up and she’s like, ‘Dude that was my Dad that 00:33:17.625-->00:33:22.250 drove all the way from here to L.A.’ I’m like that’s amazing, I’m f*king old. [Audience 00:33:22.250-->00:33:27.250 laughs] So, that thing happened and I am old, which is cool, um, you know one of [laughs] one of 00:33:34.208-->00:33:38.083 the things that, that you’re gonna see is a lot of the staff that have been here, have been 00:33:38.083-->00:33:43.000 doin’ this for, a really long time. You’ll see several of the people with the 15 year Goon 00:33:43.000-->00:33:47.083 badges, ah, several of the retired people which is a lot more of us now than there used 00:33:47.083-->00:33:50.333 to be. You can tell the difference between a regular Goon and a retired Goon, by the 00:33:50.333-->00:33:55.417 retired Goon’s actually smiling. Um [Audience laughs] But, you know, one of the things that we 00:33:55.417-->00:33:59.458 always try to do whether it was with the Vendor or whether it was the contest, whether it was 00:33:59.458-->00:34:06.375 anything, was to try to give you guys an opportunity to do the sh*t that you wanna do that the 00:34:06.375-->00:34:11.500 rest of society may think is stupid. Or they may think it’s illegal, yeh, yeh. I know, like 00:34:11.500-->00:34:15.542 it was really weird when we were doin’ the War driving contest, there was a time that I, ah, 00:34:15.542-->00:34:19.417 used to work for the government, it was really shitty. Um, but there was a time when I both had 00:34:19.417-->00:34:24.625 a security clearance and I was the, ah subject of an active FBI investigation. Because we 00:34:24.625-->00:34:29.458 decided to, run, ah, yeah some more driving stuff, so that was cool. Didn’t f*k my clearance up 00:34:29.458-->00:34:35.917 at all. [Audience laughs] Um, yeah, I want you guys to like ah, you gonna hear, this, a lot 00:34:35.917-->00:34:39.583 of the same crap, because I’m not the only person that likes repeating myself they do too, 00:34:39.583-->00:34:43.417 but you’re gonna hear people tell you to get involved and if there’s one thing that I can’t, 00:34:43.417-->00:34:47.958 can’t stress enough it’s that. Ah, when I first started coming to Def Con, there were, I don’t 00:34:47.958-->00:34:54.333 know, like 2000 people here. Something like that, maybe more. Ah, hmm >> [Audience member 00:34:54.333-->00:34:59.667 comments] >>Dude, I’m not like 90 [Audience laughs] But anyway, that how many there were, 00:34:59.667-->00:35:05.208 alright so there were like 600 people at Def Con then. Um, and so, it was really cool because 00:35:05.208-->00:35:10.250 it was in Alexis Park and it was really small, and it wasn’t here and it was off the strip so 00:35:10.250-->00:35:13.708 there weren’t a lot of the f*king rules that you guys are running into know, that can, you 00:35:13.708-->00:35:18.208 know, that can kinda, tend to make your fun less fun. But it was great because you could just 00:35:18.208-->00:35:23.083 walk out to the pool and you would hear conversations going on, and you were like dude, I 00:35:23.083-->00:35:26.417 would like to be a part of that conversation. I’m gonna go and get some beer and see if I can 00:35:26.417-->00:35:32.333 bribe them into letting me talk to them. And so I can to my first Def Con, 18 years ago, ah, 00:35:32.333-->00:35:38.250 knowing exactly one person and that was Russ Rogers and Russ , um, is the kinda dude that likes 00:35:38.250-->00:35:43.250 to go to bed at like, I don’t know, 6pm or some sh*t [Audience laughs] So you know. Basically 00:35:43.250-->00:35:47.583 from the time normal people are having dinner, for the rest of the night I was kinda on my own. 00:35:47.583-->00:35:51.917 And Def Con was a great place because you could just walk up to people and start talking and 00:35:51.917-->00:35:55.292 as long as you’re following Mike’s, don’t be a dick rule that would usually work out 00:35:55.292-->00:36:01.083 pretty well for you. Um, I will tell if you’re a dick; you’re going to be exposed as such. If 00:36:01.083-->00:36:04.792 you start trying to pretend that you know sh*t you don’t know, you’re probably talking to the 00:36:04.792-->00:36:08.958 author of the tool that you’re pretending you’re an expert on. [Audience laughs] I’ve literally 00:36:08.958-->00:36:14.458 seen it happen, and it’s glorious when it does. [Audience laughs] Um, you know, take this; 00:36:14.458-->00:36:17.583 take the opportunity to get involved with these things. Mike, went through like the 00:36:17.583-->00:36:22.167 entire list of a jillion villages, I thought it was some Forest Gump sh*t there for a 00:36:22.167-->00:36:27.792 sec., you know. Hardware Hacking Village, Lockpick Village, [Audience laughs], ICS Village, 00:36:27.792-->00:36:33.333 a lot of Villages, but go to em and actually like participate. When I started here, those 00:36:33.333-->00:36:37.958 weren’t a thing that you could do; participation was maybe hanging out at the pool with 00:36:37.958-->00:36:41.833 your laptop if you actually had one, because it was probably one of those big thick Toshiba, 00:36:41.833-->00:36:47.417 mother f*ckers that [Audience laughs] Um, but you know literally when I started coming 00:36:47.417-->00:36:52.125 here the halls in the Alexis Park were lined with people’s desktops that they brought from 00:36:52.125-->00:36:55.792 home. Cause nobody had laptops, that’s for rich mother F*ckers right there [audience comments] 00:36:55.792-->00:37:02.417 so, um, you know if you take the opportunity to get involved, you’re gonna find that people 00:37:02.417-->00:37:06.125 are gonna be very responsive to that. If you come into everything that you’re doing 00:37:06.125-->00:37:09.833 without an ego, I know you mother f*ckers have ego’s, because I’m used to being the 00:37:09.833-->00:37:13.875 smartest mother F*cker in the room too. Alright, so I’ve seen the way you act when you come in 00:37:13.875-->00:37:16.667 and act like you know everything, the chances are you’re really do not know 00:37:16.667-->00:37:21.000 anywhere near as much as you think you do. So actually listen to the people that are giving 00:37:21.000-->00:37:25.708 the talks, listen to the people that are doin’, and like, um, Mike said, if you think that the 00:37:25.708-->00:37:30.625 speaker’s wrong about something, trying to embarrass the speaker onstage is not going to go very 00:37:30.625-->00:37:35.000 far. There is a lot of better ways to address that and the speaker’s probably gonna be 00:37:35.000-->00:37:40.500 actually appreciative of being handled in a proper way. But if you try and just like humiliate 00:37:40.500-->00:37:45.167 him on stage then they’ll probably get pissed and scream at you and sh*t. So, anyway that 00:37:45.167-->00:37:51.375 is about all my time, I don’t have a ton so I will turn it over, I believe to Shaggy next, 00:37:51.375-->00:37:56.375 alright. Thank you very much. [Audience applause] >> Are you, are you finally done talking? 00:38:05.208-->00:38:10.208 [Laughter] Alright, ah, I’m Shaggy, ah, I got introduced in Def Con, ah, at 18, um. 00:38:13.333-->00:38:19.333 Everyone’s Noob’s here, which is good. Cause we need Noob’s, Wiseacre is gonna die, Roamer is 00:38:19.333-->00:38:24.208 gonna die, people need to take their positions and do things and need to learn. So don’t feel 00:38:24.208-->00:38:29.042 bad about being a Noob. Ah, there’s tons of things to do at [member comments] Def Con, hmm? 00:38:29.042-->00:38:35.125 Yeah. Ah, go to the contests and events, ah, was a Goon there for a while, um, there’s tons of 00:38:35.125-->00:38:40.375 cool contests and events. There’s gonna be lots of lines, we know that. Don’t stand in 00:38:40.375-->00:38:44.625 line and bitch about the line, stand in the line and talk to someone else in the line, to 00:38:44.625-->00:38:48.375 learn something. Because the guy sitting next you probably knows something that you don’t know 00:38:48.375-->00:38:54.708 and vice versa. So try make, ah, relationships with people and really just have fun. Um, I’m 00:38:54.708-->00:38:58.750 not going to really tell too many stories, ‘cause I’m not as good as Roamer, but I’ll, ah 00:38:58.750-->00:39:03.750 tell one. My first Def Con I was at a bar, which happens in Vegas and someone was talking about 00:39:05.875-->00:39:10.375 something and I was kinda new and stuff so, I just was nodding along, like, yeah I know what 00:39:10.375-->00:39:14.500 he’s talking about. I had no F*cking clue what they were talking about. And instead of 00:39:14.500-->00:39:19.792 just asking them, like oh can you explain that, I looked like an idiot just going, yeah, 00:39:19.792-->00:39:23.417 [Audience laughs] I know that man. I did not know sh*t and I honestly even can’t remember 00:39:23.417-->00:39:26.917 what they were talking about cause I didn’t ask them about it. So, that’s probably the 00:39:26.917-->00:39:32.083 worst thing that you can do. I’m like Roamer’s said, don’t try to bullsh*t people, if you try to 00:39:32.083-->00:39:36.958 bullsh*t someone you will be called out and you’re gonna feel like sh*t. So, don’t do that. 00:39:36.958-->00:39:42.417 Um, and yeah, just have fun, enjoy yourself. I keep like hearing this weird echo, it’s 00:39:42.417-->00:39:47.417 weird, okay. >>You have got two mike’s on >>What? Oh, okay, ah, but yeah, have fun and enjoy Def 00:39:53.833-->00:39:58.833 Con. Have a good one. [Audience applauses] >>Hey everyone, ah, I’m Alex Shogren or just my 00:40:01.792-->00:40:06.750 name’s Aaron as well. Ah, I wormed my way up on stage. I’ve done a couple of these before, 00:40:06.750-->00:40:11.458 took a couple of years off, then, ah, probably going be retiring, ah with Roamer at the 00:40:11.458-->00:40:16.375 end of this Con. So, I figured, eh, one more, sure it’s not good. Ah, I’ve been coming to 00:40:16.375-->00:40:21.750 Def Con since Def Con 10, um, myself, my buddy Tim and his wife Derra back there. Ah, we 00:40:21.750-->00:40:27.625 were some of the people that tormented Roamer and Russ on IRC prior to the Def Con 10 wireless 00:40:27.625-->00:40:33.417 competition. Ah, and really got him pissed off and so that was my introduction to Def Con, was 00:40:33.417-->00:40:36.875 showing up with this guy I’ve been pissing off for the last three or four months, who 00:40:36.875-->00:40:42.333 changes his avatar to a middle finger on the Forums because of it, so, you know, lots of fun 00:40:42.333-->00:40:46.750 times. Ah, he ended up asking me to help out in the Vendor area. I’ve been working in the Vendor 00:40:46.750-->00:40:52.500 area since, ah, Def Con 13? 12, 13? Anyway, um, the cool thing about participation that 00:40:52.500-->00:40:57.458 everybody’s been talking about is that, ah, you never know what’s gonna happen. You know, 00:40:57.458-->00:41:00.708 go back to the Forest Gump thing, ‘you never know what you’re gonna get’ ah, every, 00:41:00.708-->00:41:05.708 every Con I, ah I’ve, ah attended, I’ve ended up talking to people one on one. Somebody 00:41:07.833-->00:41:11.708 stops you in the hallways, somebody kinda has that questioning look in their eyes 00:41:11.708-->00:41:14.917 when they pass by you and sometimes you just kinda stop and say, hey can I help out, 00:41:14.917-->00:41:19.375 what’s, you know, what’s goin’ on? Ah, I was asked one year, ah, while waiting for the Vendor 00:41:19.375-->00:41:24.292 area to open, this guy walks in and says, hey, I heard about this ah, this party, this Ninja 00:41:24.292-->00:41:29.375 Networks party. And this was at, this was at Def Con 20, this was the last of the Ninja Networks 00:41:29.375-->00:41:34.667 party. He goes how, how can I get in? I, I wanna get in I’m sure a lot of you here have 00:41:34.667-->00:41:38.292 heard about different parties that happen during CON and there’s different ways to get 00:41:38.292-->00:41:42.583 in. I said hey, I said, well I can introduce you to a couple of guys that are a part of Ninja 00:41:42.583-->00:41:46.333 Network. So they’re not gonna give you a badge, but you can talk to them or you can talk to 00:41:46.333-->00:41:51.833 people that they’re talking to and figure out, you know. You know something I’m sure you’re, 00:41:51.833-->00:41:55.667 you’re here you have some kind of skills, so talk to the people. And he’s like alright 00:41:55.667-->00:41:58.958 yeh man, that’s cool and I was like okay, cool just having a conversation. That was, that was 00:41:58.958-->00:42:03.667 Friday morning that was, that was the first opening of the Vendor area. Sunday comes along 00:42:03.667-->00:42:08.500 we’re all dead tired, we’re last day of the CON, we’re draggin’. This guy comes and finds me in 00:42:08.500-->00:42:11.833 the Vendor area and I was like hey, [stutters] to see you, he’s like, yeh, yeh, yeh. You know, 00:42:11.833-->00:42:14.958 talked to you on Friday and I said, okay cool. I said what about it? HE said, the Ninja 00:42:14.958-->00:42:19.542 Networks thing, I said, oh cool, how’d it go? He said, hey I got in I got the badge and I got all 00:42:19.542-->00:42:23.667 the cool stuff and I got to meet, you know, ah, you know, Darkcode and everybody else and 00:42:23.667-->00:42:28.875 had a great time. And I was like, Dude, that is so awesome and just, you know, out of the 00:42:28.875-->00:42:34.375 blue. So fast forward to last night, ah we were doin’ some of the pre-vendor area set up, and 00:42:34.375-->00:42:38.792 I was walking back and I think I hit, um, I don’t know 20 000 steps yesterday, I don’t know 00:42:38.792-->00:42:43.250 what it was. But there was a guy that stopped me in the hallway, again questioning look, and he 00:42:43.250-->00:42:49.000 had a little piece of plastic card out and he had a little like, like a mole skin, kinda 00:42:49.000-->00:42:53.667 reporter like cops notebook. You know he was scribbling stuff down in it. And he had, ah, 00:42:53.667-->00:42:58.750 Caesars challenge badge and little translucent plastic with a whole bunch of little six 00:42:58.750-->00:43:03.917 sided dice on em in various order. So, you know and numbers one through six and he had, he 00:43:03.917-->00:43:07.542 had, he had, written out, he had, you know, recorded all of them down, and he had gone 00:43:07.542-->00:43:10.542 through and he was trying to do numeric substitution, trying to figure out how to crack the 00:43:10.542-->00:43:14.958 cypher. And he goes, hey, do you have any advice? Well I, I, I’m not a crypto person and I don’t 00:43:14.958-->00:43:19.333 know anything about that but I do remember reading stuff about, oh well, you know how many 00:43:19.333-->00:43:24.042 across? Oh, there’s ten, ten numbers across and I said, okay. Start breaking em up, I think 00:43:24.042-->00:43:28.292 maybe if you put em in groups of five or something you can start doin’ substitutions, I don’t 00:43:28.292-->00:43:31.833 know. Again, you can tell I don’t know crypto, but you know it was like somthin’ like 00:43:31.833-->00:43:36.417 [inaudible] Oh and he was talking to a guy that had like a cube badge around his neck and 00:43:36.417-->00:43:40.000 so he was like, cube and block, he goes, maybe there’s somethin’ there and I go, block cypher or 00:43:40.000-->00:43:44.125 something and said, I don’t know hey. Sounds good, you know, like run with it and like he just 00:43:44.125-->00:43:48.542 like, you could, you could see the light bulb go off in his head. He had started, clicked 00:43:48.542-->00:43:52.917 onto something and was like, I am so excited, he was saying, you know, I’m actually leaving 00:43:52.917-->00:43:59.750 out Saturday even if I get this on, I can’t make the party, but I wanna figure this out. And so, 00:43:59.750-->00:44:03.625 just random people in the hallway when you’re in the lines with them, when you’re in 00:44:03.625-->00:44:09.542 workshops and stuff just talk to people. Reach out to them, ah, you’re gonna get so much more 00:44:09.542-->00:44:15.833 back when you do and don’t let the whole concept of being a Noob, being a first time 00:44:15.833-->00:44:22.458 attendee, shame you in any way. Every one of us up here on stage has been a Noob. I’m still a 00:44:22.458-->00:44:27.875 Noob, I’ve been doin’ stuff for 22 years for goodness sake, I know nothing. I’m John Snow and 00:44:27.875-->00:44:32.542 know nothing about this sh*t sometimes, but you know, [stutters] come on you know 00:44:32.542-->00:44:37.208 this >> still f*cken talkin >> I’m sorry. Oh, yeah, my time is up. So anyway, I’m Alex, 00:44:37.208-->00:44:42.208 everybody have a great time, thanks. [Audience applauses] >>Are you looking at me? >> I’m 00:44:47.500-->00:44:53.125 gonna introduce you to the newest member of our family. [Pause] Malware Unicorn, this is 00:44:53.125-->00:44:57.750 the first year she’s done this. She’s gonna tell you a little bit about what she, ah, does and 00:44:57.750-->00:45:02.750 how she has a good time. [Pause] [Audience applauses] >>Yeah, so, I’ve been goin’ to Def Con on my 00:45:07.625-->00:45:12.542 own dime for several years now, and you know this is the only place where I get to see people 00:45:12.542-->00:45:17.583 once a year from all over the world, all over the country. And we get to just nerd out about 00:45:17.583-->00:45:23.208 stuff like malware, obviously, Malware Unicorn, right. Um, and and I can sit there having a 00:45:23.208-->00:45:28.500 drink at like a club or a bar and we can just talk about, oh, what would be your most awesome 00:45:28.500-->00:45:34.000 malware you would develop? Like well I’ll tell you my points and you could tell me your points 00:45:34.000-->00:45:39.750 and we can, you know come together and make something cool. But, you know, this is, I 00:45:39.750-->00:45:45.583 wanted to give back to the community by being involved and trying to get more diversity 00:45:45.583-->00:45:51.917 into Def Con. Ah, there’s so many Villages out there, there’s so many niche, niche’s out there 00:45:51.917-->00:45:56.917 that you can find your passion. Um, but, I’ll tell ya if, if you come up to a girl that looks 00:46:00.000-->00:46:05.958 like me, make sure you call out there name before touch them [Laughs] I’ve had so many times 00:46:05.958-->00:46:10.958 with people tapping on the shoulder and they’ll like be, oh sh*t, but um, yeah just just be 00:46:10.958-->00:46:16.875 kind you know. Not everybody knows you’re Twitter handle or you’re handle or your name. Um, 00:46:16.875-->00:46:22.875 just be cordial like you would in a business situation. Um, we’re all here for the same 00:46:22.875-->00:46:28.958 reasons, there’s no reason to shame people in public you could do that offline, in a hotel room 00:46:28.958-->00:46:33.958 somewhere. Um, [Laughs] But, ah, but enjoy Def Con [stutters] I mean there’s so many things to 00:46:37.292-->00:46:42.292 learn, malware reverse engineering which is what I do. Ah, there’s exploit development, 00:46:44.292-->00:46:49.292 there’s so many good talks out there and I hope you guys enjoy this year. Thanks. [Audience 00:46:54.833-->00:46:59.292 applauses] >>You’re not gonna mention that you are newly added to the Def Con CFP Review Board? 00:47:01.500-->00:47:06.375 [Pause] [Laughter] >> She has been >>Strangely enough most of the people here >>Great >> are 00:47:06.375-->00:47:11.375 also on the Call For Paper’s Review Board. So next, when we talk about Def Con, for most 00:47:15.542-->00:47:21.750 people Def Con happens through magic. Um, everything just happens, you see a bunch of guys 00:47:21.750-->00:47:25.542 with red shirts and they’re directing you to different places. You see guys in red 00:47:25.542-->00:47:30.875 shirts introducing the speakers, you see guys in red shirts, and women in red shirts, sorry. Um, 00:47:30.875-->00:47:37.250 you know, basically doin’ whatever and you don’t probably think how did all of this come 00:47:37.250-->00:47:42.250 together? [Pause] Nikita, Nikita is one of the full time employees for Def Con and she is 00:47:44.542-->00:47:50.250 the one that make the magic happen. So that, you know, I’d like, ah, Nikita to take a 00:47:50.250-->00:47:57.167 little bit of time to talk about her wonderfulness. [Pause] >>Honestly I thought I was just 00:47:57.167-->00:48:02.167 going to be on the panel to make jokes. [Audience applauses] Thank you for the applause, I 00:48:10.167-->00:48:15.167 appreciate that, um, I do this for you guys. It’s the only reason why I’m committed to 00:48:19.875-->00:48:26.125 working the long hours, and, ah, month that I put into it, but it’s worth it. Um, I didn’t 00:48:26.125-->00:48:29.417 really expect to talk [Laughs] because I thought we were just gonna sit up here and crack 00:48:29.417-->00:48:34.417 jokes, but that’s okay [Laughs]. Um, [Pause] we’ve talked about a lot of stuff about, um, being 00:48:37.792-->00:48:44.125 open, asking questions. Um, don’t try to bluff your way through a conversation, you are 00:48:44.125-->00:48:48.917 with people who are smart, ask them the question. But one thing I did want to say is, don’t have 00:48:48.917-->00:48:54.000 a, I read this in the NOC today. Don’t have strong opinions about things you don’t fully 00:48:54.000-->00:48:59.750 understand [Laughs] and be willing to keep an open mind and talk to the other people about 00:48:59.750-->00:49:05.167 it. You know, you can’t just say like, oh well, social engineering is completely sh*t. 00:49:05.167-->00:49:10.167 Well, no it’s not, you know, or this is useless ah, information or you shouldn’t have your phone 00:49:14.458-->00:49:20.375 you, you should have a burner phone. It’s like, you know, everybody’s security risks are 00:49:20.375-->00:49:26.917 different and if you can’t go to Starbucks with their phone and come to Def Con, you need to 00:49:26.917-->00:49:31.917 adjust your settings either way. They both public, so I don’t know what else to say [Laughs] 00:49:34.708-->00:49:39.333 [Pause] Does anybody wanna ask me something, I don’t know?[Laughs] >> Why don’t you 00:49:39.333-->00:49:44.417 tell us about some of the things you do to get ready for this stuff? >>Oh, thank you, that’s a 00:49:44.417-->00:49:49.792 really good question. He asked me to say what I do to get ready for this event. Um >>Everything 00:49:49.792-->00:49:56.000 >> Yeah, she does everything. >>Everything, [Laughs] no I’m joking, um, I help ah, 00:49:56.000-->00:50:02.750 coordinate the floor plan, I help the speakers, I get them scheduled. I run the Def Con CFP 00:50:02.750-->00:50:07.750 review board. I process all the speakers, the workshops, I help >>[Inaudible] can I interrupt 00:50:11.958-->00:50:17.542 you for just a second >>Go ahead, please >>Um, It is difficult to describe what an 00:50:17.542-->00:50:24.083 amazing job she does on the CFP board. Um, this is, we have what, almost 600 submissions 00:50:24.083-->00:50:30.875 this year? Ah, of which what we accepted 100 and something [Pause] >> Yeah, roughly a 00:50:30.875-->00:50:36.708 little over 100 >>She wrote specific feedback to every rejected talk and sent it to 00:50:36.708-->00:50:40.750 every one of those, ah submitters. No other conference does that, no other, because no 00:50:40.750-->00:50:45.750 other person is you. You’re the only person, that’s insane enough to do that. So, yeah, 00:50:45.750-->00:50:50.750 seriously [Audience applauses] Thank you. >>Thank you. I have an assistant know, so I do have 00:50:54.625-->00:51:00.375 a little bit of help with that. Leah, she can’t be here, cause we’re both pregnant [Laughs] at 00:51:00.375-->00:51:06.500 the same time. Um, I decided to come, but ah, she you know couldn’t and that’s fine, you 00:51:06.500-->00:51:12.667 know. It’s cool, I miss her a lot, but, um, one of the things the CFP review board does do is 00:51:12.667-->00:51:17.667 the feedback. Um, if you are even remotely hesitant about submitting a talk, please just 00:51:19.958-->00:51:26.750 submit it anyway. Um, the worst thing that can happen, is we say no and we tell you why, and that 00:51:26.750-->00:51:31.750 is gonna be some invaluable information to you from a team of incredibly smart people, that 00:51:33.833-->00:51:39.083 just blow my mind at how brilliant they are. And they process all of the reviews, they 00:51:39.083-->00:51:44.250 read them all, they put their heart and soul into it, to pick the best talks. And if something 00:51:44.250-->00:51:49.458 just doesn’t fit right, it just doesn’t fit right, but you could take that to another Con, you 00:51:49.458-->00:51:55.125 can build your speaking career. You can build upon that talk and even in some cases, while this 00:51:55.125-->00:52:00.208 isn’t quite Def Con, but why don’t you consider reaching out to the speaker or why don’t you 00:52:00.208-->00:52:05.208 consider this avenue and that is how people grow in their, their data and grow in what they ah, 00:52:08.500-->00:52:14.500 what their project is and helped evolve it. So, ah, it’s always worth it submitting. If you 00:52:14.500-->00:52:20.750 think you’re not good enough, you’re wrong, it’s just dumb, just submit it. This year, six, 00:52:20.750-->00:52:25.750 over sixty per, sixty, sixty one or sixty something plus talks were first time Def Con 00:52:28.333-->00:52:33.333 speakers. And they’re not like super elite rock stars that everybody’s afraid to talk to; 00:52:35.375-->00:52:39.208 they are people just like you. And even those super elite rock stars, I’ve read, you’re afraid 00:52:39.208-->00:52:45.250 to talk to, they’re just people like you. They’re here at Def Con because this is Def Con; 00:52:45.250-->00:52:50.250 it’s a, it’s a family reunion for most of us. Um [Pause] yeah, I don’t what else to say but 00:52:53.875-->00:52:58.875 that [Laughs] I really hate speaking [Audience applauses] Thank you guys. [Applause] 00:53:04.958-->00:53:11.750 >>Alright, the ah the ah, best has been saved for last. And it’s because Highwiz started 00:53:11.750-->00:53:16.750 this ah, nine years ago, the idea of, ah, Def Con 101 and it has grown into this. And I get 00:53:19.417-->00:53:25.875 to speak because; while I have social anxiety I also like the sound of my voice. Um [Audience 00:53:25.875-->00:53:30.625 laughs] but the reality is we work together and we have the same ideas and and ah, Highwiz 00:53:30.625-->00:53:36.125 has a great deal of participation. In fact he organized um, and worked with 00:53:36.125-->00:53:41.125 Nikita on which talks went where and [stutters] the 101 ah track, so, um, you wanna talk? You got 00:53:45.042-->00:53:50.042 visual aids? >>I got those. I’m gonna put my sunglasses on cause these lights are really f*ckin 00:53:52.042-->00:53:59.000 bright. [Pause] So, I’m the token homosexual of the panel, ah speaking of, [Audience 00:53:59.000-->00:54:05.625 applauses] if there are any hot single guys out there, holler at me, okay. Ah, I’m not gonna tell 00:54:05.625-->00:54:10.125 ya to get involved because everyone else did, I’m gonna give some shout outs though. 00:54:10.125-->00:54:16.875 First is to Lost, ah, Lost was a long time panellist of Def Con 101, this is his first year not 00:54:16.875-->00:54:21.875 here, um, he, he’s at home, he has some family issues. So he designed the badges for years 00:54:24.292-->00:54:29.167 and I’d like everyone to give a round of applause to Lost, alright. [Audience applauses] 00:54:29.167-->00:54:34.167 Speaking of badges though, [Pause] how awesome are these? What do you guys think? 00:54:40.208-->00:54:45.208 [Audience applauses] because you know who designed the badges this year? You know who designed 00:54:47.292-->00:54:53.000 them? [Pause] Nikita and her husband Neil, so can we give a round of applause for these 00:54:53.000-->00:54:58.000 awesome badges [Audience applauses] If you’re gay, if you’re straight, welcome to Def 00:55:03.958-->00:55:10.292 Con. If you’re gay, go to Queercon, ah QueerCon’s awesome they have a pool party tomorrow 00:55:10.292-->00:55:17.000 night, it’s at the Palms this year, ah, there’s a shuttle bus from here, so go to it. Lots of 00:55:17.000-->00:55:22.000 hot guys and girls and a pool, um, people of all colors. Ah, the scavenger hunt is probably 00:55:24.208-->00:55:30.917 the best contest, if you are a Noob, hands down. Ah, unlike most people on the panel, I 00:55:30.917-->00:55:37.500 actually have a real earned Black badge; I did that at the scavenger hunt, alright. 00:55:37.500-->00:55:42.333 [Laughter] And that was not directed at you, I said people on the panel here >>Ah, I’m not 00:55:42.333-->00:55:47.333 on the panel [Laughter] >>So, I, ah you get a Black badge if you win, hopefully this year, maybe. 00:55:50.083-->00:55:55.083 Um, no, DT totally said you would. Ah, so [Pause] he, he’s the one that decides and it’s 00:55:57.125-->00:56:01.458 usually right before the event, but if I guess I say it on camera, maybe it has to become 00:56:01.458-->00:56:06.875 true. So, um, do the scavenger hunt, it gets you out there. It gets you involved getting to 00:56:06.875-->00:56:11.875 meet people. Um, all year round, ah, there’s a Def Con sub-reddit, ah, slash r Def Con. 00:56:14.250-->00:56:19.458 How many reditter’s here can I see a show of hands. [Audience hoots] Alright, alright, how are 00:56:19.458-->00:56:24.458 you guys not on our Def Con, come on, you gotta do it. Let’s see, besides that, the Security 00:56:26.750-->00:56:33.542 Tribe, so most of the people on this panel are in a group I belong to, called Security 00:56:33.542-->00:56:40.417 Tribe. And I probably owe them more than anybody else for Def Con 101 happening. So, we’re 00:56:40.417-->00:56:46.458 looking for new members, so if you want to become a Def Con, um, well Security Tribe member, 00:56:46.458-->00:56:51.500 come up to us, the Noob party. Ah, hang out with us and maybe we’ll make you, a member of our 00:56:51.500-->00:56:58.250 hacker group. Um, I just want to thank everyone for coming up here and doing the panel with 00:56:58.250-->00:57:03.250 me. Um, I’m always awe inspired by these super awesome and smart people who basically come out to 00:57:07.000-->00:57:12.833 support me and support you guys, support all the Noobs. Um, and thank you all for coming, so 00:57:12.833-->00:57:17.833 give yourselves a round of applause for or coming. [Audience applauses] >>How many 00:57:25.667-->00:57:31.917 of you had heard of the 101 panel before coming? [Pause] >>Oh >> Not very many of you 00:57:31.917-->00:57:36.875 >>Wow >>We’d like to play a game, besides throwing out t-shirts. We play a game called, 00:57:36.875-->00:57:41.875 ‘Name that Noob’. Now, we talked about or I talked about everybody’s handle. Um, handle’s 00:57:45.875-->00:57:51.375 should be earned, a lot of people have their own handle and they think it’s fun, like, I’m 00:57:51.375-->00:57:56.375 Eldrich or you know, I’m, ah, Rogue Tracker. Um.. >> Morpheus >> But the reality is, a, a 00:57:59.083-->00:58:04.458 handle that’s earned is a handle that sticks with you and it’s a handle that’s fun. Um, for those 00:58:04.458-->00:58:10.208 of you who don’t know what a handle is, I’m sorry. [Laughter] but, um, [Audience Laughing] 00:58:10.208-->00:58:17.042 when you type slash Nick in IRC, you put your handle in. Um, some of the, some of the rules here, 00:58:17.042-->00:58:22.167 this is for fun. We’re gonna invite people up here, you’re gonna come here and you’re gonna 00:58:22.167-->00:58:26.708 talk about yourself, but we wanna know things that are interesting, things that other 00:58:26.708-->00:58:32.333 people may not necessarily know, maybe even embracing things. >> Especially embarrassing 00:58:32.333-->00:58:37.333 >>Especially embarrassing. So Roamer and I used to work with a guy, um, whose handle is Wod. He 00:58:39.458-->00:58:44.458 originally got his handle because he typed in password, PASSWORD wrong, twice. He typed 00:58:51.083-->00:58:58.083 in password, left the R off twice, so we called him passwod for a while. Then, ah, we were 00:58:58.083-->00:59:03.083 on ah, a trip together doing an assessment and ah we went to a club, club. And that club 00:59:06.417-->00:59:11.417 happened to have a lot of black lights in it and Danny walked in [Laughter] and his shirt lit up 00:59:15.000-->00:59:19.458 [Laughter] and Roamer said, ‘Dude, why did you wear your Wod shirt here?’ [Laughter] I 00:59:19.458-->00:59:24.458 believe there are jokes about masturbation, and a couple of others, but Wod stuck and he 00:59:26.583-->00:59:32.292 hates it [Laughter] but it’s still his nickname. It’s still his handle, we call him Wod and 00:59:32.292-->00:59:36.958 I’m sorry that he’s not here. >>We called him Deej before, he hated that >>Oh yeah, there are 00:59:36.958-->00:59:42.167 so many >>He’s in the room >>He is in the room? >>That’s great [Laughter] that’s great, I love 00:59:42.167-->00:59:47.167 that story. Alright, so, um, we will pick on you, much like we picked on Wod. Um, but your 00:59:50.167-->00:59:54.542 handle will be a badge of honour. We’re gonna invite you to come up here to the podium to 00:59:54.542-->01:00:01.375 talk, because you should talk to all of these people. Once you’ve got your handle, when you’re in 01:00:01.375-->01:00:07.875 the hallway and you’re [Pause] Dr Kitty. I’m trying to remember some of the others.. >>Mom jeans 01:00:07.875-->01:00:12.875 >>Spud, Mom jeans, Mittens, you know if you’re one of these things. People are gonna say, 01:00:14.875-->01:00:19.875 ‘Mittens Dude’, and hope fully they will fist bump. Um, so I’d like for ah, a few people to 01:00:24.292-->01:00:31.125 line up over here at the steps, if you wanna get a handle. This is part of the double dog and 01:00:31.125-->01:00:38.000 triple dog dare. Do something you’re not comfortable with, get up here and talk. [Pause] >> 01:00:38.000-->01:00:43.000 Double points if they’re a cute guy. [Laughter] >>Alright, I can’t say that >>Hold on, hold 01:00:45.583-->01:00:50.583 on [Laughter] >>I can’t say that [Pause] >>Where’s Rob? >>I don’t know [Pause] >>Okay, that’s 01:00:54.750-->01:01:01.167 alright, so the panel is going to name you, but we encourage participation from the audience. 01:01:01.167-->01:01:06.292 Let’s stop with how many we have now, if you’re thinking about coming up here, go ahead and 01:01:06.292-->01:01:11.292 take a seat [Pause] >>That’s a lot of people >>Are you comin up? {Pause] >> Derra doesn’t 01:01:19.417-->01:01:24.417 have a name >>Ah, she needs one >>Alright, while the line is {Audience shouts and claps] 01:01:33.833-->01:01:38.833 >>Which section [Audience shouts] >>Alright, first victim [Pause] He’s already dressed in 01:01:41.625-->01:01:46.625 the theme of, nineties. [Pause] >> Hi everybody my name is, David, at least that’s the name 01:01:49.667-->01:01:55.625 my Mamma gave me and this is ah, my very first Def Con. First time in Las Vegas, very excited 01:01:55.625-->01:02:02.375 to be here [Audience hoots and claps] thank you, thank you. Um, I work in VoIP, so basically I 01:02:02.375-->01:02:07.625 specialize in that, some networking stuff. I don’t really know much about exploits, 01:02:07.625-->01:02:11.667 malware, you know, I’m definitely not a Malware Unicorn, I can say that. Um, so 01:02:11.667-->01:02:17.042 I’m here to learn, I’m here to learn and grow and ah, hopefully learn some new exciting things 01:02:17.042-->01:02:22.875 and some memories I’ll treasure for the rest of my life. >> Alright, share 5 things about 01:02:22.875-->01:02:27.875 yourself that most people don’t know >>I speak German, ah, I’ve lived in Germany and have a 01:02:30.417-->01:02:35.417 undergraduate degree in German, um, so for anybody here from Germany, just wanna say, um, ah 01:02:37.792-->01:02:42.375 [German phrase] and um, [German phrase] and I have seen the band, ’The Flaming lips’ thirty 01:02:42.375-->01:02:47.750 eight times, so I’m bit of a diehard fan and, um, I have the lead singer’s phone number. We 01:02:47.750-->01:02:52.750 follow each other on Instagram, ah, another thing you may not know, let’s see, I, um, have my 01:02:55.875-->01:03:01.208 very fort iPhone after being an android person, sorry to say I’m not going back. The iPhone’s 01:03:01.208-->01:03:06.208 great, no that’s [Audience hoots and claps] Um [Audience boo’s and Laughter] Just trying to 01:03:09.708-->01:03:14.500 troll the audience a bit. Okay, ah, two two, ah two, two more things you don’t know, um, I’m 01:03:14.500-->01:03:19.500 thinking, I’m thinking, ah, let’s see. I [drawn out] just be embarrassing or >>It’s unique 01:03:23.417-->01:03:28.625 >>Unique, unique things about me that are unique? Um >>That’s alright, that’s alright, do you 01:03:28.625-->01:03:32.375 like Gladiator movies? [Laughter] >>No [Laughter] but I did watch a lot of anime in high 01:03:32.375-->01:03:37.083 school, like too much,[Audience hoots] I’ve detoxed now, but I watched too much in high school. 01:03:37.083-->01:03:42.083 >> You ever seen a grown man naked? >>Yes >>Ah, yeah, that’s it [Audience laughing] >>Yeah, 01:03:44.375-->01:03:49.375 Okay, after much deliberation, we’ve decided we’re gonna name this Noob, Fruity Lips. 01:03:55.417-->01:04:00.417 [Audience laughs and claps] We have Noob challenge coins, see us at the ah, ah Noob party and 01:04:03.583-->01:04:09.458 we’ll have some for handing out, but for the, for the, ah, being the first one, I’ll give you 01:04:09.458-->01:04:14.458 two, one to keep, one to trade. >>Awesome, thank you [Audience claps] >>Oh, wait, wait, wait 01:04:23.167-->01:04:27.083 [Audience applause] >>Remember, Fruity Lips. [Pause] [Inaudible] >>I’ll give you a head up, I’ll 01:04:27.083-->01:04:31.917 fist bump anybody that wants to, but the Con crud that Wiseacre was talking about, I am 01:04:31.917-->01:04:36.708 absolutely patient zero. So I would [Laughter] I’m doing my best not to cough directly into 01:04:36.708-->01:04:41.667 the microphone but if you, if I do that I apologize. >>Shut up, this one’s gonna keep on 01:04:41.667-->01:04:47.375 >>Alright, our next victim [Laughter] five things about yourself that most people don’t 01:04:47.375-->01:04:52.333 know. Introduce your name first and then things people don’t know. >>First off, how’re you 01:04:52.333-->01:04:59.042 doin? [Pause] >>Awesome [Laughter] >>Um, cool, so ah, my name is Art, and what most 01:04:59.042-->01:05:05.792 people don’t know is, is my name isn’t actually Art. Ah, maybe third year into high school one 01:05:05.792-->01:05:10.167 of the teachers couldn’t pronounce my name and they said Art instead and I thought that’s 01:05:10.167-->01:05:15.583 great. I’m in the art, ah like high school class, this gonna, this is gonna be the best thing 01:05:15.583-->01:05:19.875 ever, so I just stuck with Art. And from that point onward, everyone just calls me Art. 01:05:19.875-->01:05:24.875 >>Where’re you from? >>Ah I’m, I’m a Russian guy, I live in Ireland [Laughter] Um, but most 01:05:28.625-->01:05:33.625 people know that. Um [Pause] Ah, most people don’t know why I got into tech or why I’m even here, 01:05:35.750-->01:05:40.792 um, I’m about seven years ago I watched some Def Con videos, I thought I loved the atmosphere. 01:05:40.792-->01:05:46.917 Um, so, ah, it was kinda, on the, um on the backburner for awhile, but for the last two 01:05:46.917-->01:05:51.917 years I kinda got to learn and, ah, program full time. Ah, read, ah, one time Googled, ‘How to 01:05:54.250-->01:05:58.542 become a hacker’ and found Eric Kramer’s blog, ah telling me that you’re on a Linux user 01:05:58.542-->01:06:03.542 group. Ah, the next month, I joined hacker space, um, travelled there at midnight and 01:06:05.708-->01:06:11.333 stayed there for 24 hours before going to work. [Laughs] >>Alright, I’m going to moderate 01:06:11.333-->01:06:14.667 >>One more question, what’s the one thing you wanna do at Def Con? Or what do you wand do 01:06:14.667-->01:06:19.667 here? >>Ah, I wanna make a friend. [Audience claps and laughter] >>Run around, run 01:06:27.833-->01:06:32.833 around. After much deliberation, this Noob is, Iron Clover. [Audience laughs and claps] 01:06:37.167-->01:06:42.167 >>Oh, no, no, no, no >>Whoa, whoa whoa, whoa [Laughter] whoa whoa, safety first guys and gals 01:06:49.458-->01:06:53.833 [Pause] >>You’re a little too enthusiastic, alright, please introduce yourself. Tell us your 01:06:53.833-->01:06:59.917 name, five unique things about yourself. I will most probably ask, you ah one unique question. 01:06:59.917-->01:07:03.583 >>Got it. >>Alright, well I’m not going to introduce my name, cause I know half you sons of 01:07:03.583-->01:07:06.833 bitches are just waiting for me to give information, so you guys can get into my accounts. So, 01:07:06.833-->01:07:13.375 ah, you guys can call me Hawkeye, go with that. Ah, [Laughter] Um, let’s go, five 01:07:13.375-->01:07:19.750 introduce or five, never mind I can’t speak. Ah, first thing, I am from Arizona, so gober, so 01:07:19.750-->01:07:24.750 this is actually super nice weather, cause I come from hell. Um, number two, um [Pause] Yeah, 01:07:28.333-->01:07:32.125 I don’t, I don’t know I’m not, I’m not really a >> How do, how do you spend your time when 01:07:32.125-->01:07:37.125 you’re not jittering on stage? >> Okay [Laughter] I see how it is. Um, probably mostly Netflix, 01:07:40.292-->01:07:44.375 that’s just kinda how you gonna spend your time >> What made you decide to get that haircut? >> 01:07:44.375-->01:07:50.333 [Laughter] Um >> Please tell everybody what he just asked >> Yeah, so I was just asked, ah, 01:07:50.333-->01:07:55.333 what exactly it was that made me get this haircut, so. Yeah, um, well, ah, do you know an artist 01:07:57.875-->01:08:03.875 named, Nash? No, kay great, I kinda liked the guy but yeah he was, I thought his haircut was 01:08:03.875-->01:08:09.667 cool, so >> Are you of legal age to drink, or anything? How old are you? >>Yeah, how old are 01:08:09.667-->01:08:14.667 you? [Laughter] >> Um, depends on what you mean by old enough to drink. >> How old are you? >> 01:08:17.500-->01:08:23.000 [Clears throat] 17 [Pause] >> No way! [Laughter, hooting and clapping] >> Can I see you ID, 01:08:23.000-->01:08:29.292 like seriously, like seriously? >> I, I can’t give you my ID >>Alright, well actually that 01:08:29.292-->01:08:34.292 was smart; he shouldn’t give me his ID [Laughter] >>Yeah, no really, no [Inaudible comments] 01:08:41.292-->01:08:46.292 >>Alright [Pause] we’ve all talked, this Noob is Squeek. [Laughter and applause] >> Good 01:08:53.750-->01:08:58.750 job man. >> You know the routine [Pause] >> Hi, my name is Grant. I’m >>Hi Grant >> How’s it 01:09:02.833-->01:09:08.125 goin’ everybody? Ah, I’m a front end developer, some unique things about me. I’m originally 01:09:08.125-->01:09:14.375 from a town of less than 500 people from the Mid-West before I moved to New York City 01:09:14.375-->01:09:18.833 [Audience hoots] Thank you. I lost all my hair after moving to New York City. [Laughter] I am 01:09:18.833-->01:09:23.833 ah, well I was a designer before I’m a developer and I’m a self-taught developer, which 01:09:26.583-->01:09:31.583 means I’m probably bad at development. Ah, I’m really into Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, but to 01:09:34.500-->01:09:39.500 counter that [Audience hoots] to counter that I also did a year of ballet when I was about 01:09:42.000-->01:09:48.000 eleven. [Audience claps and responds] >> I think that’s four, five? >> That’s good 01:09:48.000-->01:09:53.292 enough; I think I shared too much [Laughter] >> Um, could you tell us your social security 01:09:53.292-->01:09:58.292 number? [Pause] >> No [Laughter] >> I mean you told us your name >> Appreciate the try, though >> 01:10:00.417-->01:10:05.292 Where you’re from, a small town, you’re name, what you do, where you’re from. >> Your Mother’s 01:10:05.292-->01:10:10.042 maiden name, maybe? Your dog’s name, I mean we know it all now [Pause] >> My, I will say my 01:10:10.042-->01:10:14.042 cats name growing up was, Spasbucket, which I think is probably the best cat name you 01:10:14.042-->01:10:19.250 can ever come up with. [Inaudible comments] >> Your Opsec is sh*t, dude [Laughter] 01:10:19.250-->01:10:24.250 >> Alright, everybody say hi to this Noob, Opsec [Laughter and applause] >> Wow, fast >>Hi, My 01:10:34.167-->01:10:38.333 name is Eric, I’m from Vancouver, so I’m Canadian. Sorry, please, thank you 01:10:38.333-->01:10:43.333 [Laughter] I’m an infrastructure engineer at Sales Forest, so I build tools that manage tools. 01:10:48.000-->01:10:53.000 And, um I play Natural Selection, sometimes. Ah, weird fact, I like my soda’s flat, I’m 01:10:57.333-->01:11:03.667 one of those people, I know. [Laughs] Yeah. Ah, also I see myself as, I don’t know kinda 01:11:03.667-->01:11:08.833 mad scientist, so if you guys ever watched Steinsky anime, you have Howne Kulmar and then like 01:11:08.833-->01:11:13.833 Rick and Morty? You got Rick, I wanna be those [Laughs] [Pause] Eh, right, am I get, am I 01:11:20.667-->01:11:24.333 roasting? [Pause] [Laughter] >> We need more dude, we need some more embarrassing stuff, it’s 01:11:24.333-->01:11:30.708 just not enough >> So, you said you from Vancouver? >>Yeah >> What do you do for fun in 01:11:30.708-->01:11:36.042 Vancouver? What, what is fun in Vancouver? [Laughter] >> Is there any fun in Vancouver? >> 01:11:36.042-->01:11:40.292 Besides watching all your favourite Sci-fi shows >> No, No fun exists in Vancouver 01:11:40.292-->01:11:44.458 whatsoever, it is a dead city, no I’m just kidding. [Inaudible comment] No, video games, 01:11:44.458-->01:11:49.375 browsing the Net, Hacker news; yeah, hacker News is how I found Def Con actually. Um, yeah it 01:11:49.375-->01:11:53.750 changed my life, no joke; guys get on Hacker news if you haven’t. [Laughs] >> Would you 01:11:53.750-->01:12:00.667 say you’re pretty boring? >> Ah, I hope not, [Laughter] I hope not. I like drifting, so I mean 01:12:00.667-->01:12:04.208 that kind of gets you’re your adrenaline up. [Laughter] >>Alright, you ready? >> Yeah, 01:12:04.208-->01:12:07.833 we got it >>Please be Sea waffles >> We got it >>No, no we got it, we got it >> Ah, we got 01:12:07.833-->01:12:12.833 it >> Please be Sea waffles >> No, we got it man >> You mean here >> Oh, okay >> We got it 01:12:20.292-->01:12:26.042 [Laughter] >> Alright everybody say hi to this Noob, [Pause] Beige [Audience laughs and 01:12:26.042-->01:12:31.042 claps] >> Ya all know I was saving that one? [Pause] >> Oh, gees >> Hey, I’m Chris >> How 01:12:33.500-->01:12:38.750 old are you? >> Why’re you asking such a weird question? [Pause] >> What was that? >> I’m 01:12:38.750-->01:12:43.750 older than 16 but younger than 18 >> I think that’s how you say it >> Oh, okay >> So nothing 01:12:46.333-->01:12:51.833 legal about it [Members comments, Inaudible] [Laughter and clapping] >> So, is that his 01:12:51.833-->01:12:57.750 Nick now? [Laughter] >> Right, right, right Lynne >> Lynne? >> No [Pause] [Laughter] >> Okay >> 01:12:57.750-->01:13:02.167 Alright, go ahead >> Talk >> Ah, I started programing when I was like 6 or 7. Ah, I learned LUA 01:13:02.167-->01:13:05.792 ‘cause I used to play this game RoadBlocks. Horrible I can’t believe I’m saying that in front 01:13:05.792-->01:13:12.458 of all you people. Um, I don’t know, I’m not that interesting of a person. I tried to get my 01:13:12.458-->01:13:15.792 friend to install Achlin X Ray Slink, because I thought it would be easy for him to pick up 01:13:15.792-->01:13:21.875 {Audience laughs] it wasn’t great. Um, and then I got expelled from my school, cause 01:13:21.875-->01:13:26.292 I, I did a penetration test on the servers for the district [Audience laughs] but I forgot 01:13:26.292-->01:13:31.292 to ask them permission [Audience claps and whistles] and so. And of as of recently I’ve started 01:13:39.000-->01:13:45.875 an LOC and hoping to find clients, so if you’re interested [Laughter] [Pause] >> So, what 01:13:45.875-->01:13:50.875 brought you out to Def Con? >> I like computers [Pause] [Laughter] >> [Inaudible remark 01:13:57.708-->01:14:02.250 or question] >> Classified >> [Inaudible remark] >> It’s classified, I can’t tell you 01:14:02.250-->01:14:07.250 [Inaudible comments] >> Wait, what, one thing do you want to do at Def Con? [Pause] >> Party 01:14:09.333-->01:14:14.333 [Pause] >> Oh yeah he isn’t impress me so give him that name >> You can’t get it anywhere >> 01:14:19.958-->01:14:24.958 No, no, no he asked for it [Audience laughs] >> [Inaudible comments] >> Alright, you’ve 01:14:32.708-->01:14:37.708 mentioned it, I believe you said it. Ladies and gentlemen I’d like to introduce Stool. 01:14:46.667-->01:14:49.083 [Audience laughs and claps] [Pause] >> Please >> Hey there everybody um, my name is 01:14:49.083-->01:14:55.125 Kraysis. This is my second year at Def Con but my first time at 101 so I hope it’s cool. Um, I’m 01:14:55.125-->01:15:01.750 a security analyst, um and I argue with Bots. Um, I got that kinda moniker when I was 01:15:01.750-->01:15:06.750 redditing online and I was arguing with someone um over ah, I think it was ah that whole 01:15:10.917-->01:15:17.625 thing where you say, um, it’s; I can’t remember exactly what it was but anyway. [Laughter] I was 01:15:17.625-->01:15:22.417 arguing with someone and ah it turned out to be a Bot that I was arguing with and I, I have 01:15:22.417-->01:15:27.125 like a fight [Laughter] argument thing with this, this and someone said well he argues with 01:15:27.125-->01:15:33.625 Bots now, so that’s how I got that nickname. Um [Laughter], I’m also named ah Fetish 01:15:33.625-->01:15:40.333 Cratious because well yeah >> What’s your Reddit username? >> Which one? >> Your main one 01:15:40.333-->01:15:45.125 [Laughter], not not any throw aways, your main one >> [Laughs] Ah, the one I’m currently using 01:15:45.125-->01:15:51.667 I think is Seph’s Thorn >> Okay >> Yeah, [Pause] Um, some things that people don’t know about me 01:15:51.667-->01:15:57.750 um, I like Twilight [Laughter] >> I don’t know it’s getting better >> Um, yeah, yeah, yeah, 01:15:57.750-->01:16:02.542 I’ll take it, you know >> Apparently I’m not the only homosexual on stage [Laughter 01:16:05.917-->01:16:08.833 and clapping] >> Hey, The Voltari are kinda cool, all right, I’ll just say that, but 01:16:08.833-->01:16:15.000 um you know ah, I guess that’s a that’s a start a little bit about >> Alright, you ready? >> 01:16:15.000-->01:16:20.000 Hmm >> Yeah >> Everybody, when you’re in the hall I want you to fist, Sparkles [Laughter and 01:16:23.417-->01:16:28.417 clapping] >> [Pause] I like how he gets fisted and then says, thank you [Laughter] >> Oh, Dude 01:16:33.625-->01:16:38.625 didn’t you get a coin? [Pause] >> You didn’t get a coin? >> Hey Sparkles, get a coin >> Coin for 01:16:43.333-->01:16:48.042 Sparkles >> Alright, please introduce yourself >> Mornin everybody [Pause] My name’s 01:16:48.042-->01:16:54.667 Kearnan from the sunny city of Seattle, Washington. First Def Con, something about me, I’m an 01:16:54.667-->01:16:58.958 amateur voice actor and what that means is that you will never find any of my work until 01:16:58.958-->01:17:04.042 I get paid. [Pause] Um, I’m kinda nervous cause this is gonna be on YouTube later. I 01:17:04.042-->01:17:09.042 guess the most embarrassing thing is I’ve done some audio books on fan fiction and that’s 01:17:11.708-->01:17:16.708 not exactly clean. [Audience laughs] So that’s exciting, um >> You sounded familiar 01:17:26.042-->01:17:30.875 [Audience laughs and claps] >> Why yes, yes I am. Ah >> Give us a quote [Pause] >> What? [Pause] 01:17:30.875-->01:17:32.875 >> A quote? What you mean give me something to quote >> What kinda [Inaudible comments] >> 01:17:32.875-->01:17:36.750 That’s the thing I’m an actor you give me the line >> We want an excerpt, we want an excerpt, 01:17:36.750-->01:17:41.750 you know. Something, steam it up alright? [Laughter] [Pause] >> As Highwiz took his little index 01:17:46.458-->01:17:51.458 finger [Laughter] and inserted it into [Laughter and clapping] >> Shaggy you got some 01:17:55.417-->01:18:00.417 competition >> The outlet >> The electric current that flowed through his body [Laughter] I’ll 01:18:02.625-->01:18:07.625 let you finish the rest of that in your mind [Laughter] >> Alright, [Laughter] I’m gonna 01:18:16.083-->01:18:21.083 have him say his own name, in his voice actor voice [Pause] >> I am the great and powerful 01:18:33.958-->01:18:38.958 Tinkles [Audience applauses] >> Come on up [Pause] >> You’re very subtle [Laughter] >> You 01:18:46.750-->01:18:50.917 bet ya [Pause] Hello my name is Forest; this is my first time at Def Con. I know I don’t look 01:18:50.917-->01:18:55.292 like it. Ah I’ve had lots of dealings over the years including, Dashcoin, ah Tela 01:18:55.292-->01:19:00.000 Dega was super fun. Ah, Crypto currencies exchange system administration like piece of 01:19:00.000-->01:19:05.000 gaming wiki, ah mostly part of the archive team. Jason Scott is my hero, ah and ah, right now my 01:19:07.292-->01:19:12.708 current job is point of sale or point of sh*t software. [Inaudible comment] >> Based on 01:19:12.708-->01:19:17.625 your outfit, based on your outfit, I’m just gonna take a guess here. You use reddit. 01:19:17.625-->01:19:23.833 >>Ah, yes that would be correct, I’m a heavy redditer >> Um, where’s your fedora? >> Ah, 01:19:23.833-->01:19:28.500 Sorry I left that in the plane >> What’s your username on Reddit? >> So we can all Google 01:19:28.500-->01:19:35.083 you right now >> Okay, my username is XJRWR >> Alright someone Google him, read so you 01:19:35.083-->01:19:40.167 can help us with his name. >> We want audience participation on this one >> Alright, I also ah 01:19:40.167-->01:19:45.167 happened to play ah Eve online and no I’m not a Goon, maybe someday though. Ah, also ah 01:19:48.208-->01:19:51.583 [Pause] I’ve, I’ve done some really stupid things in my early youth >> Okay >> It happened to 01:19:51.583-->01:19:55.375 involve the Pirate Bay and otherwise known as ah, MediaDefender. If anybody 01:19:55.375-->01:20:00.042 remembers that form way back then? >> Stop telling us what you do, tell us about >> About 01:20:00.042-->01:20:04.833 me? >> Yes >> About >> Tell us about your hat >> My my hat, my my hat is called Hatmaz, you 01:20:04.833-->01:20:10.042 probably see it on the Wi-Fi access list. It is a file sharing hat that has Wi-Fi, ah 01:20:10.042-->01:20:15.042 it’s written in php so have fun [Laughter and clapping] It’s the most secure php I’ve ever 01:20:17.958-->01:20:24.833 written, ah that’s probably not saying much [Pause] Um, generally though, I am trying to 01:20:24.833-->01:20:30.000 break into the ah information, security field, my job sucks currently. AH doing technical 01:20:30.000-->01:20:36.292 support and never do it. Well, I kinda recommend a stint or two but generally though don’t do 01:20:36.292-->01:20:41.292 technical support. Managers are dumb. >> Are you ready? >> Sure [Laughter] [Pause] >> This is 01:20:43.500-->01:20:48.500 where we want some audience participation >> Yeah >> Shout some names out >> [Audience 01:21:01.792-->01:21:07.083 responds] >> This great [Audience responding] >> The manager [Laughter] >> When 01:21:07.083-->01:21:12.083 you’re in the hallway, >> I like ‘The Manager’ I like ‘The Manager’ >> fist ‘The Manager’ 01:21:23.917-->01:21:28.917 [Audience hoots and claps] >> The Manager! [Pause] >> Thank you guys >> Alright next [Pause] 01:21:33.083-->01:21:38.333 >> Wow [Pause] >> [Laughter] [Inaudible comment] Alright, so I’m Alexi, I’m from Canada too. 01:21:38.333-->01:21:41.375 I’m sorry but I’m also not sorry cause this is actually pretty awesome. This is my first time 01:21:41.375-->01:21:47.042 I’m here and whatever. Been hacking since I been 10 ah basically live nights in soft 01:21:47.042-->01:21:53.208 ice hacking games like Counter Strike and what not ah way back. And ah turned >> How many Back 01:21:53.208-->01:21:58.208 Bands do you have? >> Black Bands? >> Back Bands >> Ah, I don’t know [Laughter] a long 01:22:01.125-->01:22:06.458 time ago >> It tells you, how many Back Bands do you have? >> [Stutters] None >> [Laughter] 01:22:06.458-->01:22:11.458 Um, [Laughter] Sh*t [Laughter] >> I’m saying, I can see you got some Back Bands goin’ >> No not 01:22:15.500-->01:22:21.375 CS:GO, CS:1.3, way back >> Oh right, so you don’t play CS:GO? >> No I don’t, no not anymore >> 01:22:21.375-->01:22:26.375 What else do you play? >> I, I play SharePoint, yeah this, this is my life [Laughter] >> Um, 01:22:29.125-->01:22:33.625 otherwise I also dress up as a giant dog with a mohawk and I do stage performance DJ things, I 01:22:33.625-->01:22:37.583 made a whole guitar that’s all LED’s and it’s >> Woah, woah, woah back, [Audience Laughs] 01:22:37.583-->01:22:41.625 back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back that up, back that up [Stutters] say that 01:22:41.625-->01:22:46.833 again, a little bit slower. You dress up as a what? >> Oh, ah, a giant dog, I’m a husky with a 01:22:46.833-->01:22:51.875 mohawk >> Okay >> And I do stage performances and I have an LED guitar that’s like, it’s >> 01:22:51.875-->01:22:57.083 We’re gonna explore >> Yeah, yeah [Audience Laughs] I do like on stage and do DJ performances 01:22:57.083-->01:23:02.083 and stuff like that, so [Pause] [Inaudible comments] >> [Laughter] [Pause] [Laughter] >> 01:23:10.875-->01:23:16.125 I’m a big doggo >> Alright, are you ready? >>Sure [Laughter] >> I’m sorry, that would’ve been 01:23:16.125-->01:23:21.042 utterly funny >> Yeah >> Ah, alright we had, we had another one and I was just told that, 01:23:21.042-->01:23:26.042 that would be wildly inappropriate [Laughter] so I’d like to introduce Pepe [Laughter 01:23:34.042-->01:23:39.042 and applause] >> Thank you >> Next [Pause] >> Yes, this is you [Pause] >> Holy sh*t there’s a 01:23:49.167-->01:23:54.208 lot of you here I have to get a picture of this, hold on. >> No >> No? >> No >> Oh come on, 01:23:54.208-->01:23:58.125 let’s have some fun here, >> Do it afterwards >> Oh you’re no fun at all >> Oh, I’m fun >> Oh, 01:23:58.125-->01:24:03.625 okay cool. Hi everyone my name’s Brian I’m probably like amongst the top quartile for the most 01:24:03.625-->01:24:08.917 extroverted people here so please come say hi, give me a hug a pat on the back, squeeze 01:24:08.917-->01:24:13.917 my ass, whatever I don’t care. Cause I’m, I’m like that you know. Cool. Um, Dude I have no 01:24:16.667-->01:24:20.292 idea what the hell I’m doin’ here, this is my first Def Con, which is why I decided to come 01:24:20.292-->01:24:25.292 up here and do the thing. So, um, I also, I see I just turned 40 this year. I’m an old f*ckin 01:24:28.250-->01:24:34.250 man, how about that? [Laughter] Alright, just, just quick show of hands who here are also is in 01:24:34.250-->01:24:39.250 the 40 and up club? [Pause] Alright cool, so I’m not the only old fart in the room, I 01:24:39.250-->01:24:43.167 love you all. >> Speed this up >> I ah, speed this up? Sh*t okay >> Yeah >> So I gotta like 01:24:43.167-->01:24:48.167 say something that like not a whole lot of people know about me? >> Yes >> Okay, okay, okay, 01:24:50.250-->01:24:55.250 so one of the things that I learned in my youth back when I did drink a lot when, which I 01:24:57.417-->01:25:03.208 don’t know at all anymore. The best place to throw up is in the snow because it freezes 01:25:03.208-->01:25:08.208 instantly and you have an ice pack right there. [Pause] So, so just a pro tip, you know if you 01:25:11.083-->01:25:16.083 ever want to splinter off Def Con do it like, you know in the mountains, like Colorado. >> 01:25:20.958-->01:25:25.042 [Inaudible comment] >> So, yeah [Pause] you know [Pause] >> Oh yeah >> Alright >> Yeah >> 01:25:25.042-->01:25:28.292 You’ve got me already, I’m sure. >> Yeah, we’ve got you >> Of course >> Tell them how the 01:25:28.292-->01:25:34.917 evolution of it >> So this started out, ‘Chatty Kathy’ [Laughter] Cause he’s not 01:25:34.917-->01:25:40.625 getting the social cues [Pause] then we went just to, ‘Cathy’ cause that was goin to be fun 01:25:40.625-->01:25:45.625 and then we heard the story about throwing up. ‘Fist Catheter’ [Audience laughs and 01:25:48.917-->01:25:53.917 claps] >> Here I was thinking Hairball, but I’ll take it [Clapping] [Pause] >> Left you 01:25:58.875-->01:26:03.042 hanging [Pause] >> Don’t give a f*k about Shaggy though [Inaudible comments] >> Hello 01:26:03.042-->01:26:08.042 Def Con, my name is Steven, I’m from Virginia. Things about me, I’ve memorized hundreds of 01:26:10.917-->01:26:15.917 digits of pi [Pause] Super fun [Audience comments] Okay 3.14159260 >> [Interruption from 01:26:18.292-->01:26:23.292 panel and audience] >>But I got it, I’ve got it though [Pause] Ah let’s see. Oh yeah, so is 01:26:25.958-->01:26:31.667 anybody else here gone on YouTube and find yourself in that section where it’s ah, 01:26:31.667-->01:26:36.667 people popping pimples? >> Oh yeah [Audience responds] >> Oh come on, somebody likes that. 01:26:39.208-->01:26:44.208 [Pause] You’re not admitting it >> What the f*k is wrong with you? [Laughter] >> Yeah but 01:26:51.000-->01:26:56.000 [Pause] they like squeeze it and the [Stutters] comes shooting out [Audience responds] >> 01:27:00.042-->01:27:05.042 That’s enough >> Alright [Pause] that’s fun [Pause] questions, comments, suggestions? [Audience 01:27:10.458-->01:27:15.458 laughs] [Pause] >> Sorry? [Pause] >> Yeah, um >> Stop doin that [Audience laughs] >> Okay 01:27:22.000-->01:27:24.000 [Laughter] [Pause] >> Alright are you ready? >> Sure >> Alright this started out we were 01:27:24.000-->01:27:29.000 gonna call him pi, but that one would be too cool so we decided, ‘Cake’ [Audience laughs and 01:27:40.250-->01:27:45.750 claps] [Pause] >> Alright we need to go fast, come on. [Pause] Lightning round >> Good 01:27:45.750-->01:27:50.167 evening everyone, my name is Chuck, I’m from West Virginia, yes we do have internet out in 01:27:50.167-->01:27:54.208 West Virginia, its dial up but we’re gettin’ better every day. Ah, embarrassing story about 01:27:54.208-->01:27:59.208 myself, ten years ago when I was doin’ a contracting job in Iraq, I was on a Deadeye T- support or 01:28:01.708-->01:28:05.875 area reconstruction team, we’d go out and meet with the tribal leaders and eat a meal with them 01:28:05.875-->01:28:10.292 to show them we’re all still friends even though we hate you, you hate us. At one of these 01:28:10.292-->01:28:15.833 meals the tribal leader produces the roast goat, pops the eyeballs out and asks who’s 01:28:15.833-->01:28:22.000 gonna eat an eyeball with me? I am that guy [Audience hoots] and from then on I was his best 01:28:22.000-->01:28:26.000 friend because no one else would ever do it. >> So you ate the goat eye? >> Yes and he did too 01:28:26.000-->01:28:32.625 >> Have you done anything else with a goat? [Audience laughs] >> Only watch Gladiator movies 01:28:32.625-->01:28:39.042 [Pause] >> Tell us more stuff >> Let’s see, I, I delivered our last child, so Nikita if the 01:28:39.042-->01:28:43.875 paramedics can’t make it I do have experience. I hope to never do that again but [Laughter] >> 01:28:43.875-->01:28:48.875 Anything >> See, what else, um I in NIT I’ve done about everything there is from 01:28:52.042-->01:28:57.042 Cabledog to ah BrackenSack which is to InfoSack, jack of all trades type, um. It’s about it 01:29:00.833-->01:29:06.333 about me there’s not a whole lot >> There’s a shocking amount of people who want to deliver 01:29:06.333-->01:29:12.458 Nikita’s baby >> Chewy >> Alright, he’s named ‘Chewy’ >> There we go [Audience laughs] >> 01:29:12.458-->01:29:18.583 Chewy [Audience claps] >> Alright >> Seriously, tights? >> Oh my g*d, spats >> Hi everyone, 01:29:18.583-->01:29:25.000 not tight or spats, ah for jujitsu and they’re great for this hot weather. Hi, I’m Mark 01:29:25.000-->01:29:29.458 up until yesterday at Bayside, besides um [Background comments] I virtually new absolutely 01:29:29.458-->01:29:34.292 nothing about this community or this world so I’m like the ultra Nooby here >> Wait, wait, hold 01:29:34.292-->01:29:40.042 on. You got a f*cking boner in your tights [Audience laughs and claps] >> This is not a boner; 01:29:40.042-->01:29:45.167 this is regular this [Laughter] >> It’s like; it’s like staring at me [Laughter] it’s staring at 01:29:45.167-->01:29:50.667 me >> You, you can see for yourself what that actually looks like later [Laughter] Um, 01:29:50.667-->01:29:55.667 things that are rarely known about me um, I had a short lived career, um it was short lived 01:29:58.125-->01:30:02.708 because it was getting too much for me at such a young age, but I actually worked in sexual 01:30:02.708-->01:30:07.708 therapy. Ah, we [Audience laughs] we, we, taught couples and single women how to ah 01:30:10.500-->01:30:16.292 perform female ejaculation and coached women on how to get there psychologically. Um to 01:30:16.292-->01:30:21.292 allow themselves to be able to do that, um I [Laughter] >> We gotta stop now [Laughter] Wow 01:30:25.000-->01:30:31.583 [Laughter] >> It’s actually fun, okay. >> Okay, I’m gonna post this on twitter later, he’s got 01:30:31.583-->01:30:36.583 a f*ckin boner >> You wanted to go there, we’ll take you there >> It’s gonna be hard to follow 01:30:40.083-->01:30:45.083 up this guy, but this is, Boner [Audience laughs, hoots and claps] [Pause] >> Hi my name’s 01:31:01.083-->01:31:05.708 Mark that would be Mark for you American’s cause you don’t pronounce it the right way. Ah, 01:31:05.708-->01:31:11.458 I’m an Australian I’ve been living in Seattle for 11 years. So five things would be, um I’ve 01:31:11.458-->01:31:17.500 been made fun of [Stutters] I’ve been made of on an Australian TV show before and have a YouTube 01:31:17.500-->01:31:24.250 video to prove it. I, I’m the middle child of five and because of that I’ve had middle child 01:31:24.250-->01:31:29.250 syndrome so clearly I’m the most successful out of all of them. I, what are the five? Oh I’ve an 01:31:31.292-->01:31:35.333 uncanny knack to spot a spelling mistake without actually reading anything my eye just naturally 01:31:35.333-->01:31:40.333 gravitates to it. Um [Pause] >> Oh yeah >> Oh totally >> I’m guessing [Laughter] >> Alright, 01:32:01.167-->01:32:06.167 it’s painfully obvious [Pause] this is, ‘Dingo’ [Audience laughs and claps] >> In a former 01:32:08.667-->01:32:13.750 life I was a sound guy, so I’m gonna eat the mike. Um, I live in South-West Missouri which I 01:32:13.750-->01:32:18.917 call misery, um one reason I’m in misery is because I’m attracted to Asian guys. I’ve 01:32:18.917-->01:32:23.458 registered for QueerCon and I’m surrounded by white country guys, so I desperately want to 01:32:23.458-->01:32:28.458 move. Um, ah I love film scores, soundtracks, John Williams is a genius. Ah, I’ve been 01:32:30.500-->01:32:37.417 backpacking in New Zealand and China, I love it can’t wait to do more of it. I’m an insomniac, 01:32:37.417-->01:32:42.417 g*d I had so many ideas and I’m blanking on em. Um, ah, ah >> Tell us your wildest sexual 01:32:45.083-->01:32:50.083 experience; what’s the [Audience laughs] [Pause] >> Yeah that can’t be spoken about [Laughter] 01:32:56.792-->01:33:03.250 Um >>Where’s the weirdest place you’ve ever had, ah, sexual congress with someone? 01:33:03.250-->01:33:07.667 [Laughter] >> Theirs is no weird place, once we’re outdoors, pools like everything is like 01:33:07.667-->01:33:12.583 legit, no, there’s nothing that nobody hasn’t done sexually, so. >> How about on the stage? >> On 01:33:12.583-->01:33:17.750 the stage? [Laughter] I have never had sex on stage in public. >>Okay >> Good, we’re 01:33:17.750-->01:33:22.750 good >> Oaky >> We’re gonna slow you down there before you do [Laughter] >> Alright, step back 01:33:26.208-->01:33:31.500 [Laughter] crowding the mike >> Oh, ah one last bit I was, I am a former Mormon I was a 01:33:31.500-->01:33:38.250 missionary in Chili way back in the day. [Audience hoots] >> Well, while LDS will work, we’re 01:33:38.250-->01:33:43.250 gonna call you, ‘SoundByte’ [Audience applauses] >> SoundByte we actually enjoyed 01:33:45.458-->01:33:51.958 you so much, I have a special badge for you. You shouldn’t take offense because it has 01:33:51.958-->01:33:58.208 deodorant in it because you don’t smell, but Wick, he’s around here somewhere created 01:33:58.208-->01:34:03.708 these awesome badges with the countdown; use deodorant four times a day, three hours of 01:34:03.708-->01:34:08.708 sleep, two meals, one shower, zero arrests. >> Thank you [Audience applauses] [Pause] >> 01:34:24.583-->01:34:26.583 This will be fantastic, aah >> I don’t think they can see me though [Laughter] >> Here >> 01:34:26.583-->01:34:30.500 There you go >> Much better there >> Ah, my name is Ellemig, everybody call me Elle, Eli, hey 01:34:30.500-->01:34:35.500 you, bitch, ah [Laughter] they can never remember my name so I named myself Elle. So, um I’m 01:34:41.042-->01:34:46.042 from Venezuela, um usually the only girl in the building. So I have the bathroom all for 01:34:48.542-->01:34:53.542 myself. And um, kinda new to this, so I’m way out of my comfort zone because you say so, 01:34:56.708-->01:35:01.708 so I’m here. So, hit me [Audience hoots and claps] >> It’s ah, give us, what do you do 01:35:07.042-->01:35:12.958 for fun outside of Def Con >> Holy Sh*t, ah >> What’s your favourite alcoholic drink? >> My 01:35:12.958-->01:35:17.875 what? >> What’s your favourite alcoholic drink? >> Um, well I discovered something called, um, 01:35:17.875-->01:35:22.875 mojito and holy sh*t [Laughter] I got so drunk I don’t remember >> Ferreted out that hidden gem, 01:35:26.542-->01:35:32.292 did ya? [Pause] >> Okay >> Oh boy >> Well yeah [Laughter] it’s actually not bad this is 01:35:32.292-->01:35:37.458 actually, ah kinda fun, um my mother in law loves mojitos but for some reason she can’t say 01:35:37.458-->01:35:42.458 them right, so you’re gonna be, ‘Mojo’ [Audience laughs and claps] and actually we have 01:35:44.792-->01:35:50.542 something special for you since you’re out of your comfort zone. Gunnar glasses was, ah Gunnar 01:35:50.542-->01:35:56.125 Optics actually was awesome and they gave us some, ah Gunnar’s and I use mine pretty much on a 01:35:56.125-->01:36:01.000 daily basis which is a shameless plug. They don’t give me any money or anything like that, I 01:36:01.000-->01:36:06.000 truly believe in these things. So, here you go. >> Awesome, yes [Audience applauses] >> Can we 01:36:10.875-->01:36:15.875 give her a coin also, please [Pause] >>Both? >> Thank you >> Wow, what is with all the kids 01:36:24.833-->01:36:29.833 >> I don’t know >> Dude. Kids f*ckin love me [Laughter] >> Okay >> Hi, my name is Anthony, 01:36:33.458-->01:36:38.458 ah, I’m 15 ah you probably thought I was [Audience hoots and shouts] Yeah [Laughter] Um, 01:36:42.125-->01:36:47.250 I first started getting interested in programing when I was around 11 and I got a virus 01:36:47.250-->01:36:53.792 on my computer cause I downloaded something to try and hack a Minecraft server. [Pause] 01:36:53.792-->01:36:58.792 [Laughter] >> Go on >> It didn’t hack the server; I got a blue screen of death but um [Pause] I 01:37:01.417-->01:37:06.417 make websites, I ah, know all of the things like JavaScript and stuff like that. I’m not and 01:37:10.292-->01:37:15.542 expert, if you tell me to make a website it will probably break if somebody tries to break it. 01:37:15.542-->01:37:21.667 Um, alright give me something to talk about. >> I don’t wanna f*cking go to jail so I’m not 01:37:21.667-->01:37:27.708 gonna [Laughter] >> Do you have a pet? >> I do, I have two pets, um, they’re both dogs. One’s a 01:37:27.708-->01:37:34.000 big one, one’s a little one, big one’s Jackson, little one’s ah, Oliver. Ah the big one has a 01:37:34.000-->01:37:39.750 white beard so my friend calls him Whitebeard [Pause] [Laughter] Alright next topic >> 01:37:39.750-->01:37:44.750 What talk are you most looking forward to at Def Con? >> Oh, I don’t know, I just wanna learn. 01:37:47.500-->01:37:51.625 I,I love ah, hearing about RFID things that, that stuff really interests me cause there’s a lot 01:37:51.625-->01:37:58.292 you can do with it, um [Pause] >> Does your parents know you’re here? [Audience laughs] >> Are, 01:37:58.292-->01:38:03.083 are your parents here? >> Ah, just one of them, my I, but but, don’t worry about it >> How do 01:38:03.083-->01:38:08.083 you [Audience laughs] you hear that? >> No I missed that >> I think he told his dad knows, but 01:38:12.542-->01:38:18.083 his mom probably doesn’t >> It doesn’t matter, don’t worry about it >> That’s true it could 01:38:18.083-->01:38:24.542 totally be your dad >> Abductee! >> What, what’s that >> Abductee [Laughter] >> Oh, ah no 01:38:24.542-->01:38:30.542 [Inaudible comments] >> Actually we’re just gonna call you, we’re gonna shorten, ah, ah abductee 01:38:30.542-->01:38:35.542 to ‘Bait’ [Audience laughs and claps] [Pause] >> That’s good, that’s good [Pause] >> Please >> 01:38:46.042-->01:38:49.958 Hello, oh okay, so I know this is a lightning round, so my name is Michael, I work Tech support 01:38:49.958-->01:38:55.167 up in the Tri- Michigan some of you may see me sitting at the side of the hall begging for 01:38:55.167-->01:39:00.292 food, offering services. Um, [Pause] [Laughing] not that type of service. [Laughter] unless 01:39:00.292-->01:39:06.792 you pay a lot, um [Pause] I do open exploration given I live in Detroit, lots of burned out 01:39:06.792-->01:39:11.792 buildings and I know for a fact I cannot outrun a cop car. Um, [Pause] >> Lightning, Lightning 01:39:16.667-->01:39:21.667 round >> Handyman [audience laughs and claps] [Pause] >> Just remember 20$ is 20$, 01:39:32.083-->01:39:37.292 alright [Laughter] >> Hey what’s up everyone? Ah, who likes Street Fighter? You guys like 01:39:37.292-->01:39:41.167 Street Fighter? [Audience hoots and claps] Street Fighter’s Gold. Alright, so ah, my name is 01:39:41.167-->01:39:44.083 to be determined, I haven’t said that yet I probably don’t want to say it, cause I’m gonna tell 01:39:44.083-->01:39:48.958 you guys a really funny and embarrassing story. And I hold this story very dear to myself 01:39:48.958-->01:39:53.792 but I’m up here so I might as well tell it. Um, I, historically I’ve had really 01:39:53.792-->01:39:58.958 awful first days at work, all the time, every time, [Stutters] whether I like fell at sleep at 01:39:58.958-->01:40:04.708 work or like passed gas at the wrong time, like I have had it pretty bad. But one day I got 01:40:04.708-->01:40:09.958 hired at a new company and um, I was wearing these really pointy boots, okay. They were like 01:40:09.958-->01:40:15.417 these light brown pointy shoes and my stomach was hurting really bad that day, like I had 01:40:15.417-->01:40:20.917 a lot of protein, I don’t know. [Laughter] I was working out a lot, nothing good okay and um, I 01:40:20.917-->01:40:24.667 went up to go to the bathroom. On my way to the bathroom there’s like a door, and there’s 01:40:24.667-->01:40:28.000 like a hallway, there’s a women’s bathroom and a men’s bathroom. And as I walked 01:40:28.000-->01:40:33.250 through the door, the coast is clear behind me so I let it go, I’m like okay. I started walking 01:40:33.250-->01:40:36.667 and someone opens up the door behind me and starts walking to the bathroom too. And there’s 01:40:36.667-->01:40:40.292 this woman and she’s over there and like [imitating vomiting sound] like [imitating vomiting 01:40:40.292-->01:40:45.125 sound] like it, it stinks, like it’s awful. Oh my g*d, and I freak out and I panic so I run 01:40:45.125-->01:40:49.250 into the bathroom and as I run into the bathroom, I look around and I’m like oh, interesting, 01:40:49.250-->01:40:54.250 these bathrooms don’t have urinals, very nice [Laughter] I go to the stall and as soon as I 01:40:56.792-->01:41:00.667 get in the stall I hear someone’s heels walking into the bathroom and I immediately, I 01:41:00.667-->01:41:05.083 pick up my pointy little boots and I like sit up in the stall and I’m like freaking out, 01:41:05.083-->01:41:11.125 panicking. I’m like, oh sh*t I walked in the women’s bathroom. >> We’re ready bro, we’re ready 01:41:11.125-->01:41:15.542 [Laughter] >> That’s the story >> Cool story, bro >> Yeah [Laughs], some of you may 01:41:15.542-->01:41:21.708 actually get the reference, ‘Kinky Boots’ [Audience hoots and claps] >> And I’m gonna give 01:41:21.708-->01:41:26.708 you a pair of Gunnar’s too for that crazy story >> Thanks man, thanks man [Pause] >> No, you 01:41:30.292-->01:41:36.583 don’t get one of these; you get glasses [Pause] >> Evening, ah my name is Tyson, I am from 01:41:36.583-->01:41:41.583 Vermont, um and ah, my, obviously first time at Def Con. Ah [Laughter] so, um, let’s see 01:41:44.458-->01:41:50.750 ah story. About 8 months ago I ended up underneath the back of a van that ran me over while I 01:41:50.750-->01:41:55.292 was on my motorcycle, so I have a Titanium leg. Um, so that’s something new most people don’t 01:41:55.292-->01:42:00.292 know. Um, let’s see what else? Is it, how quick do you want this? >> Um, [Audience comments 01:42:03.833-->01:42:07.792 and laughs] >> How quick do you want it? There you go, um, let’s see, so >> How quick can you go? 01:42:07.792-->01:42:12.792 >> How quick can you go, ah, yeah. [Pause] That’s all I got I guess. >> You can stop >> Okay 01:42:15.042-->01:42:21.083 go for it >> Yeah, most of you won’t get this reference, but it’s a very Vermont thing. 01:42:21.083-->01:42:26.083 ‘Jeezum Crow’ [Audience applauses] >> I would like to bring you two ladies up to the 01:42:39.042-->01:42:44.042 front, please [Pause] >> Alright, White Hat [Pause] >> Hi, my name is Shane, I’m from 01:42:50.083-->01:42:56.250 New Mexico. Um, I have a PhD and I also have a kettle corn business. Um, I’ve got a service 01:42:56.250-->01:43:01.417 dog named, Houdini, but he doesn’t fly so he can’t be here. He’s magical and an escape 01:43:01.417-->01:43:06.417 artist and this is my first Def Con and for someone who used to hate programming in high school, 01:43:09.208-->01:43:13.667 I ended up with a PhD in computer science. [Pause] >> Whatever make you more money 01:43:13.667-->01:43:19.500 [Audience claps] the PhD or the kettle corn >> The PhD totally kills it [Pause] >> You should 01:43:19.500-->01:43:24.375 make better kettle corn [Audience laughs] >> We have lines, its, it’s fun, but I only 01:43:24.375-->01:43:29.375 do it at like once a, I only do it once a week [Pause] >> [Laughter] I like to do it often 01:43:34.875-->01:43:39.875 >> It’s Kettle Corn >> Kettle Corn? >> Ah, yeah >> Yeah, Alright, we’re gonna call our 01:43:52.000-->01:43:57.000 newest friend, ‘Sweetie’ >> g*d, Mike why do you have to be so misogynistic? [Audience laughs 01:44:13.375-->01:44:18.375 and clasp] [Pause] >> I’m gonna start throwing chips >> That’s okay [Audience hoots, claps and 01:44:31.125-->01:44:34.125 laughs] >> [Inaudible comments] >> I’m Christine, hi. I’m from Florida and ah, not, not the 01:44:34.125-->01:44:37.500 East side but the part that’s kinda like Alabama so technically lower Alabama or 01:44:37.500-->01:44:42.250 L.A. [Audience Hoots] Ah, the furry thing at my feet is, Manny, he’s a pure bred Belgian 01:44:42.250-->01:44:47.292 Shepard, he’s my service dog. Um, up until a couple of years ago, I had a really weird 01:44:47.292-->01:44:52.583 infatuation with, antebellum dresses or southern belle dresses and I actually dressed 01:44:52.583-->01:44:58.750 in em. AH, for many years, um, kinda ‘Gone with the wind’ style, lots of corsets, it was 01:44:58.750-->01:45:03.750 really uncomfortable. Um, I ah [Pause] let’s see [Pause] I had a whole bunch of stuff until I 01:45:07.458-->01:45:13.667 walked up here. I have a really bad memory, um, I’m bionic actually, I have a pulse wave 01:45:13.667-->01:45:20.333 generator in my back, so I can’t feel my legs which is kinda cool when I get stepped on. 01:45:20.333-->01:45:25.333 [Laughter] >> Want the name Scarlett? >> Scarlett? >> Yes >> I’ll take it, thank you 01:45:31.458-->01:45:34.250 [Audience applauses] [Pause] >> Why, I said like two more people so Mike goes and grabs other 01:45:34.250-->01:45:39.167 people out of the line. Totally F*cked the front of the line >> Yeah, alright, so we’ve got two 01:45:39.167-->01:45:45.875 more people that are comin’. The rest of the people try and find us at, um the Noob party. We’ll 01:45:45.875-->01:45:50.875 have a, well we’ve got a whole stack of coins. Um, the two ladies that were picked out a 01:45:52.875-->01:45:57.875 line, please come on up. [Pause] >> Why’d ya got to hate men? [Laughter] >> I am a man hater 01:46:01.583-->01:46:07.917 >> It’s your turn [Audience laughs] >> Hi everybody >> You’re so pretty >> Um, I’m 01:46:07.917-->01:46:14.417 Rebecca, I’m out of DC, um and, I’m really, really, really, really, really new. Um, my 01:46:14.417-->01:46:21.042 approach to this was just like, don’t bring anything, they’ll hack it all. So like, you guys 01:46:21.042-->01:46:27.667 are kinda like wizards to me, but um, so >> [Inaudible comment] >> Huh? >> He is a 01:46:27.667-->01:46:33.917 wizard >> Um so I’m, I’m into SE but I, I don’t know terribly much about anything yet. Ah, you 01:46:33.917-->01:46:39.500 guys wanted embarrassing stories? >> Yeah >> Um, I’m no longer allowed to own vacuum 01:46:39.500-->01:46:46.375 cleaners because within one year I broke my pinkie toe and tore off my big toe nail trying to 01:46:46.375-->01:46:51.375 vacuum. Ah [Laughter] I’m also no longer allowed to make casseroles because I have two 01:46:54.083-->01:46:58.708 consecutive years’ worth of Christmas party burns, ah my wrist, from the, the same 01:46:58.708-->01:47:03.708 casserole pan, um, not very domestic. Um [Laughter] Ah, let’s see the terrifying 01:47:09.250-->01:47:14.167 childhood story my dad always brings up, is the time that my cat bit me and then they 01:47:14.167-->01:47:18.583 couldn’t find me and my cat started tearing across the house and I came out and bit him back 01:47:18.583-->01:47:23.583 and I had fur on my mouth. [Audience laughs and claps] I’m, I’m happy to deliver on the 01:47:27.958-->01:47:33.917 embarrassment. [Laughter] but um, I can’t think of anything else to say. I was sitting there 01:47:33.917-->01:47:37.083 in line and I’m like what do you tell a room full of people that don’t know you to try and get 01:47:37.083-->01:47:42.917 them to know you well enough to name you and I’m just like >> No, no [Pause] >>Ah, yes, so 01:47:42.917-->01:47:47.708 choose, Eating Cats, yeah that was the obvious choice [Laughter] >> Alright >> We are 01:47:47.708-->01:47:52.708 ready >> We are ready >> Hey >> Don’t be nervous >> I’m always nervous >> I would be [Laughter] 01:47:56.958-->01:48:03.875 >> So it started out when you told the story about how awesomely nimble you are. We 01:48:03.875-->01:48:10.500 were going to call you Grace, and then we heard about biting your cat. [Audience laughs] And 01:48:10.500-->01:48:15.500 then we thought about Hannibal [Laughter] but we’re gonna settle on, ‘Clarice’ [Audience 01:48:21.458-->01:48:26.458 laughs and claps] >> Last one? Last one >> Yeah, last one [Pause] >> You’re our last one 01:48:29.833-->01:48:34.833 >> I am >> Gotta be good >> Yeah >> I’ll try, so much pressure [Laughter] Um, hi my name is 01:48:41.042-->01:48:46.042 Chantelle, um this is my first time at Def Con. Um, I’m extremely anxious, I’m really 01:48:48.458-->01:48:51.208 proud of myself for coming up here and talking. Um, okay so five things [Audience applauses] 01:48:51.208-->01:48:56.208 Thanks. [Audience applauses and hoots] um, okay so five things, Um So I’m from New York City, um 01:49:01.042-->01:49:06.042 I am partially deaf in my right ear so I don’t know if I’m talking too loud? Or if I’m Oh, 01:49:08.708-->01:49:13.708 okay, okay [Laughs]. Um, I have two cats, um named Hamlet and Shakespeare, um but I really 01:49:16.125-->01:49:21.125 hate literature. Um, so think [Laughter] Not that I hate my cats, it was just like the, it’s 01:49:23.292-->01:49:28.292 irony so [Laughs] Um, um what else, what else, what else, oh, I um I, I’m a computer science 01:49:30.750-->01:49:35.750 major and I declared, when I was like 18 but um, I had to choose my major six times. Initially I 01:49:38.625-->01:49:45.250 [Stutters] going to be a cardiovascular surgeon and that took up [Laughs] Um to go total 01:49:45.250-->01:49:51.167 180 ended like um, CS and, and it was through, um the CTL um hack-a-thon at my school which 01:49:51.167-->01:49:56.125 was sweating me to switch my majors. So, I’m really happy to be here, I like the community 01:49:56.125-->01:50:01.792 and I hope that um close to future, I, ah stick em over security hopefully a career so, 01:50:01.792-->01:50:06.792 that’s it. [Audience applauses] >> Alright, we’re ready >> Um, well you’re kinda an 01:50:13.292-->01:50:17.542 underachiever because you switched to CS [Laughter] >> So you’re now, ‘Underachiever’ 01:50:21.917-->01:50:25.667 [Laughter and applause] >> Thanks [Applause] >> Alright, thank you guys very much for 01:50:25.667-->01:50:31.500 hanging out, we went over our time, um, you know we’ll be over here, chattin’ if you want. Ah, 01:50:31.500-->01:50:36.500 otherwise we will be at the Noob party, sponsored by Duo Security in Octavius ballroom it starts 01:50:45.625-->01:50:49.833 at six ish, ish, there you go, thanks guys. [Audience applauses]