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    "text": " The aliens are here. The aliens are here. This is Cause and Effect, here with Lunchbox. We're here at the tinfoil hat contest. And how many years in a row are we going? This is year number six. Year number six. Six. Crazy, crazy, crazy. Let's talk about a little bit what's going on here. What are the benefits of wearing this tinfoil hat on my head that I've created? And what am I protecting myself from here? So, I mean, look, you know, we've got the government's running around here. All the feds. The aliens are here. We all know that. We've been watching the news lately, right? So they're all trying to control us with their mind control rays. I mean, we need to protect ourselves against that. With each tinfoil hat that is being made today, we are saving one more mind from government mind control. Is that correct? That's totally correct. But I'm also, you know, using this time. I buy stock in tinfoil the two weeks prior to DEF CON, just so I can become rich, too. Can you give me descriptions of the different signals that we're blocking here with these hats? So the aliens don't allow me to tell you what signals we have, what they have in their mind control rays. You know, I like my free UFO rides. I don't want to give up the total secrets. So, but we have a lot of transmitters in this room, bouncing various signals around. Our mannequin that you'll see in a little bit has a receiver in her head. And the goal is to find the way to protect her head the most from these alien mind control rays. Amazing. I actually do feel more energized. And I actually do feel more clear. Oh, see, the government... The government's after me again. The government's doing that. Again, not a coincidence. Two times, two times, two times. So I've made my hat. Now what happens? What do I do with this hat that I've had? How do we test how effective this is against all the signals that are popping up? So what you're going to want to do next is you're going to want to walk over here to our mannequin. And she's got the receiver in her head. And you're going to place your hat on top of her head. And you've got to remember, she's got to be able to see. Because if she can't see, she can't run from the government spies. She can't run from the aliens. And so then we will start our test. And it's going to measure how well you're blocking the frequencies coming into her head. Insane. And what are the frequencies? What hertz are we going for here? Lots of them. Okay. So we're looking at a whole range. That's all proprietary. Oh, proprietary technology. It's a big range. It's a big range. It's proprietary technology. We can't give those secrets away. Trade secrets. Oh, okay. Oh. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Okay. Yeah, we're dealing with some serious deep space. Oh, man. It is. Okay. Okay. Yeah. So we'll venture from there. I think what next we want to do is let's take this up there. It looks like there might be a line, so we might have to wait a second. That's okay. I know some people. VIP. VIP. Okay. Let's get some VIP action up here. We'll take it up to the front, and let's see how effective my tinfoil hat that I made is. Let's do this. Okay. Come on this way, guys. Come on in. Let's do it. Three times. It's, you know... Three times. You have to be careful around here. Three times three, nine. So now our system's running, and it's checking and seeing how well that signal into the antenna in her head is being blocked. Insane. So I see there's some action happening here. Yep. That's testing all the frequencies. This isn't... you might only be partially brain-controlled. But right now I'm completely... You're a guest. I'm vulnerable. I made number six out of 19. I consider that a success. Six. But I also do know, how can I make this better? How can I make this block more signals? So that's the key. We won't give you the secrets, but you're allowed to test as many times as you want. So you can keep making additions, changes to your hat, and keep bringing it up, get in line here, and then keep testing your hat and seeing what works better, what doesn't. Trial and error. Yes. And learning. Trial and error. Yeah, we're all learning together. Yes. That's right. And now, see, this is our other trick. You've taken off your protection. Yeah. Now you're controlled. So you better hurry up and get your hat back on. Okay, perfect. I appreciate that. That means you're on my side. Yes. You're not allowed. Six out of 19."
}